Unable to save
by Thecricketsarecalling
Summary: Ever wonder why Dean wears a wedding band?
1. Chapter 1

_**1991**_

"Give it back!"

Sam yelled as Dean laughed holding his brother's baseball cap high enough and out of his reach. Unknown to both of them that in just a couple of years it would be Sam who towered over his older brother, and any childish games like this would be just a fond memory.

Dean stuck his tongue out at Sam as he waved it around. The baseball cap wasn't anything special, just something Sam had been wearing the last couple of days to avoid his dad from notching he needed another haircut. Most of the time their dad didn't notice stuff like that, but since they were spending the summer at Bobby's, John had kept an extra eye out or his boys so Bobby wouldn't nag him.

Just then John came walking in, exhausted and tired from another long night of research. He had a bottle in his hand and planned on going to the den and passing out on Bobby's sofa. Right away his head ached as he heard Sam's yells.

"Quit it you two!"

John snapped as he shuffled across the room. Right away both boys froze as Dean forgot about his little prank and dropped the cap on the hard wooden floor.

"Hey dad..."

John muttered a hello before sitting down hard on the sofa. Rubbing his two day stubble, he knew he would need to shower in the morning. At this exact moment all he wanted to do was finish off this bottle and pass out.

Sam bent down and picked up his cap, shooting his older brother a dirty look before Dean slowly walked up to his dad, clearing his throat, almost trying to find something to say.

"Ummm, you know that old cat that hangs out back? He got me real good today..."

Dean held up his hand which was covered in scratches. It took John a moment before lifting his bloodshot tired eyes and looking at his son's hand.

"Told you not to be messing around that junk yard. Make sure you clean it out."

Dean nodded before John slowly kicked his boots off, just then the sound of the door was heard. Bobby was home, he had mentioned checking something over a few towns over. Usually he was home before dark.

Within a few seconds Bobby came slowly into the room, standing in the doorway. His clothes were dirty and in one hand his twelve gauge shot gun. John looked up.

"Where have you been?"

Bobby sighed.

"Ran into a bit of trouble over in Juinper. Pack of werewolf's."

Sam looked up before Dean quickly walked over to him.

"Hey Sammy, how about I fix you some PBJ?"

But Sam ignored him, instead he listened as Bobby shook his head. Finally John noticed this and cleared his throat.

"Mind going into the kitchen for a second Sammy?"

Sam glanced at his father and Bobby before nodding and leaving then room. Dean stayed as Bobby spoke.

"Slaughtered a whole family, I came in too late...one of them jumped me...almost had my throat, then I heard a shot get fired. I swear I thought I was dead...that's when I opened my eyes and that beast was stone cold dead and falling to the floor, I heard crying and looked over and saw this little lady..."

Bobby stepped aside to show a young girl, she was around nine or twelve. She wore jeans and a dirty gray hoodie. Her hair was in pigtails and her eyes stared down at the floor. She had a backpack swung over one shoulder.

The first things Dean noticed as he stared was first she was wearing over sized cowboy boots. In fact they were huge on her and seemed to swallow up her long bruised and scratched legs. They looked as if they belonged to a man. Dean saw they were black leather with red and silver trim. They were slightly worn and went almost up past her knees.

The second was that her hair was black or either a very dark brown. Her skin was slightly tanned, and her eyes..well from the distance he thought they were either a pretty shade of brown of hazel. She shifted her feet back and forth, not looking at any of them. For some strange reason Dean stood thre and couldn't take his eyes off her. Bobby glanced back at the young girl.

"Lucy, this is John and his son Dean Winchester, their friends."

Lucy lifted her eyes and stared, she seemed scared and on edge. Right away John frowned before glancing at Bobby. Dean continued to stare at the girl before Bobby went on.

"She was living with this man, he was in his early twenties...Swann was his last name. He was living with a few friends, guess from when they grew up back out West. Lucy didn't say much but she said this fellow was taking care of her...got her out of some trouble a year or so back and tonight everyone was attacked."

"How many wolfs?"

"I thought a pack, but I think she shot their leader, the rest ran off. It was a fricking massacre, girl is lucky to be alive...and so am I. She saved my skin John, really thought I was buying the farm."

John walked over to Lucy before squatting down slightly and putting his hands on his legs, the same way he did whenever he needed to talk to Sam about asking too many questions. He stared at the young girl and sighed before reaching over and gently lifting her chin with his finger. Slightly shaking Lucy looked up before John tried his hardest to give a welcoming half hart filled smile. It was a tired one, but still comforting. The young girl stared at him on the verge of tears.

"How are you doing honey?"

Lucy didn't say anything, instead John smirked.

"You did real good back there, but don't you worry...your safe now and don't have anything to worry about."

Lucy stared at him before John glanced up at Bobby.

"She got any family?"

Bobby slowly shook his head.

"She was an orphan, that's where that Swann fellow found her. She doesn't remember much but I guess it happened out in New Mexico. This Swann fellow was traveling through and happened about her, she said some people had been killed."

John raised an eyebrow as Bobby nodded.

"I'll look into it, said some kids were going missing, looked like animal attacks. I bet you dollar to donuts it's linked with the werewolf attacks. This Swann fellow found her, took her away and had been living with her and his friends. I'll do a background check, I don't think he was a hunter, just somebody who was passing by and saw she needed help. I asked if there's anybody she knows but everyone who she did...was...well killed tonight."

John sighed.

"All right then, we'll figure this out in the morning. I'm sure you must be tried and hungry huh?"

Lucy just stared.

John stood up before turning and looking at Dean.

"Dean?"

"Yeah?"

It took him a second to blink out of it. He couldn't stop staring at her. John noticed this and he frowned.

"Mind making her something to eat and getting a few spare blankets from upstairs."

Dean slowly nodded before John turned back to her.

"Okay honey, you just follow my son. He'll fix you right up."

Lucy glanced up at John and for a moment Dean didn't think she was going to move. Instead after a moment she began to shuffle in those over sized cowboy boots towards Dean.

"Come on, you can meet my brat brother."

Dean smirked, Lucy just stared down as they went into the kitchen. By then Sam had gotten the jar of peanut butter and was gobbing it onto two pieces of bread. Dean glanced back over his shoulder and saw Lucy slowly following behind.

"You can put your bag down."

Lucy lifted her eyes and slowly slipped it off her shoulder, setting it down against the wall. Dean walked over to the fridge before Sam looked up, his bangs in his eyes.

"Hi."

Lucy looked up before Sam glanced at his brother confused.

"Who's this Dean?"

Dean glanced between the two.

"Um, this is Lucy...she's spending the night."

Sam smiled, always friendly to any stranger they met.

"Hi Lucy, you want something to eat?"

Lucy said nothing and Dean sighed.

"I'll get it..."

Opening the fridge he began to take stuff out along with a carton of milk. Lucy walked over to the table where Sam was and slowly sat down, keeping her eyes down. Sam offered her the jar.

"Want some?"

Dean shot his brother a look.

"Leave her alone Sam."

Sam shrugged before trying to smile at Lucy before Dean walked over with the things he gathered from the fridge and a glass. Setting everything down he began to pour the milk before glancing at her. Slowly sliding the glass over to her he waited and she just simply stared down. Finally, very softly he heard...

"Thank you."

Dean looked surprised before a small smile appeared on his lips.

_**Later that night...**_

Lucy didn't eat much, in fact she picked at her food like a bird. She sat at the table with Dean and Sam, watching them as they argued over what they were eating. Once or twice Dean caught a small amused look on her pale face as he playfully hit Sam in the arm.

Finally John and Bobby appeared. Bobby said Lucy could stay on his couch in his study, he had made it up for her. Lucy nodded and snuffled into the next room where Bobby showed her she could wash up. Dean watched as his father and Bobby spoke in soft voices over a beer across the room. Finally Dean cleaned up and helped Sam to bed before he ran into his father in the upstairs hallway.

"Night son."

Dean stopped.

"Dad?"

"Yeah?"

"Is Lucy going to stay here for now on?"

John shook his head.

"I don't think so. Bobby is trying to figure something out. Besides we're leaving in another week. I got a new job."

Disappointment filled Dean's eyes for only a moment. He was used to moving around now and it had become just another way of life for him. Sam wasn't fully understanding things yet, but Dean knew what life was like now ever since his mother died.

John must have caught this.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing dad."

Dean lied, but he really did like it at Bobby's. He always felt safe and loved fooling around in the junk yard out back. But he knew this was the way things were, soon they would pack up into the Impala and go on their way. Just like always...

John smiled, ruffled his son's hair before walking downstairs. Dean watched him and knew he was going to drink tonight. He could sense it. Whenever dad thought about mom too much he would drink...

Going into the spare bedroom where Sam was all ready asleep, Dean threw himself on the tiny twin bed and just stared up at the ceiling. Outside thunder sounded.

_**Downstairs...**_

"Bobby, you can't be serious..."

Bobby leaned against the counter and shrugged.

"Don't give me that look John. The girl handled her own, saved my life."

"And look at her now! She's like a church mouse! She's just a kid!"

"So aren't your sons and they handle just fine."

John glared at Bobby.

"I'm trying my best with my boys because there's no other way, this girl still has a chance..."

"For what? To be normal? I'm talking to her tomorrow and I'm going to try and get the full story. This girl has seen some terrible things but I saw how she acted, that's rare for somebody her age. Besides...after my wife I ain't got nobody John. I always wanted a daughter and maybe this is my chance."

"Jesus Bobby..."

"Listen you can try and argue with me till you turn blue, but I want to give it a chance. If it doesn't work out I'll find something, until then she stays with me."

Bobby turned and went to the basement door before opening it and slamming it behind him. Down in the basement was where Bobby went whenever he needed to do research and didn't want to be bothered. John stood there a moment longer before deeply sighing and grabbing another beer. His head hurt tonight and he just wanted to forget all of this.

_**Later that night...**_

Dean was awake.

In fact he had been awake for some time now.

It was raining down and he heard the heavy raindrops hit the window. Thunder was still sounding but so far no lighting. Sam meanwhile was passed out on his bed a few feet away. Looking around, Dean got up and decided to go downstairs. He couldn't sleep and thought maybe if he got something to eat he would feel better.

Creeping downstairs, he tried his hardest not to make any noise on the creaking stairs. Once he reached the bottom floor he saw his father on the living room sofa passed out. A few empty beer bottles near him. Sighing, Dean went down the hallway and into the kitchen.

"Dean right?"

Dean jumped, feeling his heart jump in his throat. Spinning around he saw Lucy sitting at the table. She had a glass of water and was sitting in the darkness. His eyes widening, Dean looked at her before clutching his chest.

"Sorry."

Lucy said as Dean took a deep breath and walked over.

"Whoa you scared me."

"Sorry."

Dean smirked.

"Nothing to be sorry about, just didn't think anybody was up."

Lucy began to slide off her chair.

"I'll go back to bed."

"No wait!"

Dean held up a hand before walking over and taking a seat across from her. For a moment they didn't say anything, instead Lucy looked down while Dean nervously played with his hands, finally he spoke up cutting the thick silence that surrounded them.

"Storming pretty bad out there huh?"

Lucy's eyes drifted to the window over the sink before nodding.

There was an tankard silence again before she looked across at him and in a very adult sounding voice she flat out asked...

"Your father and Bobby...their hunters aren't they?"

Dean did a double take, staring across at her. For a moment he thought she had just noticed the guns, maybe what she had been through just mixed her up. She was young and scared and had seen a lot in the last few hours. Dean didn't know how to answer at first, he was used to dodging questions from Sam, but this was different.

"Um, what do you mean?"

Lucy looked at him.

"The people who took me from the orphanage, they were hunters just like Bobby and your father. I think they were werewolf's that time to, they killed everybody and they were tracking them down. I was the only one left. They took me in and I lived with them for a little bit. They tried teaching me a few things when a few of the survivors from the pack came back and killed everyone. They were caught off guard and Bobby killed them all. I had a feeling he was a hunter but I didn't want to say anything, I heard those kind of people are rare and you shouldn't trust just anybody."

Dean blinked, he couldn't believe it. Lucy seemed to have straightened up, she had a pretty soft voice, yet she looked much older than how she appeared earlier. Lucy sighed.

"The man who first took me was named Kevin Swann, him and a few friends were hunters. He was in his twenties and saved my life and taught me as much as I could. He took care of me...but I think he liked me...not in a good way either. I think he was sick. I heard him and a few friends had just gotten out of a hospital. Their parents had been killed by some creature when they were younger and it messed them up real bad since nobody believed them. That's why they got into hunting and just happened to stumble upon me while working a case. I was grateful to Kevin...but something wasn't right."

"What do you mean?"

Lucy shrugged.

"I heard him friends some nights talking, they were always trying to tell him I would slow them down. But Kevin was very protective of me. He kept saying once I was eighteen we could be together and...he did stuff..."

Lucy's eyes went down before Dean leaned forward.

"What?"

Lucy looked back up.

"Nothing...it's in the past and their all dead. I don't know what's going to happen to me but I would like to talk to your father and Bobby. I can get along alone...I'll find people."

"Do you have any family?"

"No, but I'll be okay. I just want to ask a few questions then I won't be in the way anymore."

Dean frowned.

"A...demon killed my mother when I was little. That's why my dad is a hunter."

Lucy stared at him.

"I'm sorry."

"It was a long time ago."

Lucy nodded.

"I better get to bed."

Dean stared at her.

"I'm sorry what happened to you Lucy, I'm sure my dad and Bobby will figure something out. They always do."

Lucy sighed.

"That's what I always thought about Kevin..."

Both locked eyes for a moment before Lucy pushed her glass towards Dean.

"Night Dean, it's nice to meet you."

Dean simply nodded watching her walk off before taking a sip from the glass. Sighing he sat there thinking over what Lucy had said before shaking his head and listening to the thunder.

_**The next morning...**_

Dean awoke and dressed quickly before Sam to race downstairs to find his father and Bobby all ready awake. Lucy was in the same clothes she had on the night before and was sitting at the kitchen table with the two of them as sunlight poured in through the windows. Stopping in the doorway he could tell from their expression that Lucy had just finished telling them what he heard the night before.

Bobby was in the middle of talking.

"I wouldn't mind having a little extra help around here. I might not be much as a father figure nor would I even begin to understand what a young girl like yourself needs, but you seem to have gone through a lot and have one hell of a head on your shoulders. I think with a little training you might be useful. But I can't lie to you...I can't be worrying my head off about you. This is serious stuff and not the sort of life anyone wants. But if you would like to stay your more than welcome."

Lucy stared at Bobby before nodding.

"Yes...I would."

Bobby smiled.

"Good."

Dean slowly walked in making sure they heard him. Right away the two of them turned as Dean made his way over to the table. The men exchanged a look before Dean took a seat beside Lucy. Nobody said anything before Sam raced into a room jumping on one foot to put on one of his sneakers.

John got up saying he had some calls to make and that in a little bit Bobby and him would be taking a ride into town. Sam brought over some cereal and made a mess pouring it into a bowl before smiling and offering Lucy some. She smiled back saying no thank you and just sat there. Dean couldn't explain why his stomach felt like it was fluttering, but sitting next to Lucy felt great. Bobby said he would talk with her later and tapped her a wink before walking into the other room with John.

Sam munched on his cereal before looking at Lucy.

"So you know Bobby?"

Lucy glanced over at Dean before nodding.

"Yeah I'm a distant cousin, I might be spending some time here."

"Cool! I'll show you the junk yard later, me and Dean always play tag out there."

Dean rolled his eyes as Lucy smiled, a smile which was very mature and lady like. Dean caught this and honestly wondered what she was really like. She spoke very well and clear, seemed very smart, and was tough. She also knew about hunting...

Biting his bottom lip he glanced at her and even at such a young age, knew he was in love.

_**2005**_

Sam and Dean were driving to Jericho. It was a dark mild night and Dean was listening to his usual heavy metal. Tapping his hands against the steering wheel to the beat of the song, he drove ahead the headlights showing the back roads which was unrolling ahead of them.

Sam sat there, a million thoughts and worries going through him when he glanced over and noticed Dean's wedding band.

"Dude, you still wear that?"

Dean looked over.

"What?"

"You're wedding band, dude you and Lucy separated years ago..."

Dean's brow wrinkled before he glanced down.

"First thing Sammy, separated isn't divorced."

"Was the marriage even legal? I mean when you guys ran off you used take Ids."

"It was plenty legal."

"Remember how pissed dad and Bobby were?"

Sam laughed. Dean shot him as look as he drove on.

"Second I've worn the damn thing for so long it's sorta a good luck charm, I need weird without it just like my necklace."

Sam smirked.

"I don't get you guys...I mean you guys fought like cats and dogs and tried to kill each other. You guys go off and screw anything that moves and haven't seen each other in forever...yet I bet you everything I own she still wears her wedding ring just like you."

Dean shrugged.

"What can I say Sammy, great minds think a like."

Sam smirked as they continued to drive on. Any other thoughts of Dean's ex wife was soon forgotten once they reached the town.


	2. Chapter 2

_**1991**_

"Your going away?"

Lucy asked sitting beside Dean on the back porch. It was barley a week since Lucy had first arrived at Bobby's, and now it was time for John, Dean, and Sam to pack up and leave. These last couple of days had passed by so quickly Dean couldn't believe how badly he really wanted for the first time in a while to stay. John had informed him they were moving on because he had another job to do up North. As usual they packed up the truck and Dean knew this meant another week long in some cheap motel watching over Sammy.

But of course he didn't argue, this was what they were supposed to do.

In these last few days Dean had been pretty stunned to see that he had developed somewhat of a crush on Lucy. She was a few years younger but didn't act it at all. Little known was about her, but now that she was living with Bobby, and the truth had come out about who exactly she was, she seemed to open up a little bit.

She didn't know who her parents were or where exactly she had been born. She had lived most of her life in the orphanage until one evening a pack of werewolf's attacked and left everyone for dead. That's when Kevin Swann and his few friends stumbled upon Lucy and took her in. Lucy didn't want to talk much about this man named Swann, but Dean could sense pity in her eyes when she was questioned about him by Bobby or his father. She explained that they had taken her in and taught her as much as they knew about the supernatural forces they had been hunting. Just a few days ago they had been killed, and that's how Lucy ended up here.

She wasn't a typical girl. She stayed silent most of the time and had very well manners. So well in fact John joked he wished his boys would pick up on this. In her bookbinding she brought had all the belongings she ever owned.

She had two pairs of jeans and three skirts which looked as if they had been bought second hand or at a flea market. She had a few blouses and T-shirts, and some scarfs. Her shoes, were Kevin's she explained. She told Dean he wore them all the time and since she was in such a hurry to leave with Bobby that night, this was the only thing she took with her when she ran out. She had some junk jewelry, and some torn knee high socks.

Dean spotted a few old photos which were torn and faded but he hadn't gotten the chance to see them. She also had a hairbrush and an old tin compact which a cracked mirror.

Besides that, she had nothing.

She was a big help much to Bobby's surprise. She knew how to do laundry and insisted she help out around the house even though Bobby said she needed to relax and settle in. She also was very neat order like. Dean noticed much to his amusement her in the kitchen one morning turning all the cans in Bobby's cabinets in the same direction.

She seemed thrilled when Bobby showed her some of his wife's old paperback novels. She said she really never got to go to school and taught herself how to read and write by the old books people would donate to the orphanage.

She wore her hair always in pig tails and mostly kept her head down during meal times. Bobby had mentioned he would fix up the guest room soon enough for her to make her own. Nearly every two seconds, she was always thanking him and keeping her eyes to the floor.

She had impressed Bobby and John by walking out back with them the second day she was there and showing them she had pretty good aim for a girl her age. They handed her their 22.s and she hit four out of the five glass bottles they had set up. She mentioned that Kevin had taught her how to shoot, and she knew the basics such as holy water, silver, and salt.

Bobby and John were mostly with her, asking questions about past hunts Swamn and his friends had done. Lucy hadn't been brought along on much of them but she knew well enough and told them what they wanted to hear. Dean overheard his father asking her later that evening if Swann and his friends had ever faced murders of women who were found on ceilings which resulted in a house fire. Dean remembered walking away, knowing exactly what his father was talking about.

Finally Sam got a hold of her and dragged her outside to the junk yard where he was talking a mile a minute, he dragged her outside where the two of them began to play tag. Dean watched in the distance and had to smile. When she allowed herself, she acted just her age.

She would play with Sam for hours and always by dinner by exhausted. Dean kept his distance and couldn't help but feel a bit jealous that his brother was getting all the attention from her. During mealtimes he would glance up every few seconds and watch her closely.

By bedtime he would watch her go into the den and sigh. She really was pretty, and he wished he could talk to her more...

Finally on the forth day she was there he decided to join Sam and her in on the game of tag. For the first time in what seemed like forever...Dean laughed and acted his age.

Now a few days had passed and it was time to go.

As far as he knew Lucy would stay with Bobby, as for the next time Dean would see her...he didn't know.

Sitting there he looked over at her. She was wearing a skirt with knee high socks and her large oversized cowboy boots. She was sitting there looking at him and he thought her eyes looked pretty as dusk began to settle. Sighing he nodded.

"Yeah, my dad...has another job to do."

"When will you be back?"

Dean shrugged.

"That's the thing, I don't know. We usually stay with Bobby for a few weeks out of the year but we mostly just move around from place to place, whenever my dad has a hunt."

"Does Sam know?"

"I think he's beginning to get a hunch."

Lucy nodded.

"Your dad has a really nice car."

Dean smiled, the Impala was parked in the back driveway.

"Yeah, it's awesome."

"Here..."

Lucy tugged a small black bracelet which appeared to be made out of black knotted string off her wrist and handed it to him.

"It's an elephant hair bracelet, it's good luck."

Dean raised an eyebrow looking at it.

"Is it really made from elephant hair?"

Lucy made a face before Dean laughed looking at it before slipping it onto his hand.

"Thanks Lucy..."

Before he could say another word she leaned over and kissed him right on the lips. Both closed their eyes as their softy lips touched and within a second both drew apart. Blushing, Dean felt caught off guard and wonderful.

"Wow..."

Lucy grinned before leaning over and kissing his cheek. Standing up, she winked at him before shuffling back into the house.

The next day Dean had asked if she wanted to take a walk down to Coy's pond. It was a small nice little area about five or so miles down the road from Bobby's place. It was early and the pressure that he would be leaving soon kept breaking down on him. That morning he had run into Lucy in the kitchen and was thrilled when she said sure and tied her hair back tight.

They walked, now without Sam to bother them as they walked beside each other. It was still early and Bobby and John had just woken up. Sam meanwhile had sat himself in front of the TV and didn't even seem to mind that Dean was leaving the house without him.

They said little to nothing on their walk. It was a nice day as they walked along the dirt road, the sound of crickets and the power lines humming above them. They walked together, him in his worn sneakers, her in her oversized cowboy boots. They walked along the fields, just enjoying the day and twice two trucks drove by in which Dean made sure Lucy was far enough off the road.

Once they reached the pond, both walked along the old worn dock and sat down. Dean took off his sneakers, Lucy took off her boots. Lettings their legs hang into the cool water, they sat there mostly in silence as crickets chirped in the bushes and a few birds flew from tree to tree. It was warm, yet a nice breeze kept blowing past them.

They talked a little about hunting, at the moment Dean hadn't really been on ay yet. His job was mostly looking after Sam while his father went away. There had been a few times he had helped his father, but hadn't really been exposed to anything that made him lay awake at night.

Lucy spoke little of the hunts she had been brought along on, both really didn't express their feelings on this sort of life, but Lucy made it clear she was very happy she had found Bobby. Dean talked a little about things he wanted to do. At this time in his life there still could be a future...and there were certain things he still thought he could do.

He wanted to travel, but not in the scene how him Sammy and his dad traveled. He wanted to own a car just like his dad, and he wanted to go to every concert possible and visit every city.

Lucy really didn't have any plans, she shrugged and said she didn't really know yet.

Dean talked about the kind of music he liked, his dad's Impala, and the different schools they had been to. Lucy mostly just sat there listening before Dean laughed shaking his head embarrassed.

"Sorry, I really don't talk this much."

Lucy smiled back.

"It's okay, I like it."

Dean looked at her before smiling, he found his hand very close to hers. His chest was fluttering and he couldn't help but feel nervous. Their fingers touched for a second and Dean felt his heart leap into his throat. Looking at her face, he smirked.

"Well...let me ask you something about yourself...when is your birthday?"

"I don't know."

"You don't know!"

Lucy smiled before nodding.

"Yep...I was given to the orphanage when I was a couple of months old. Nobody ever knew my parents, or knew when I was born...only that it was sometime in the Summer. So every year I pick a day that I like best."

Dean smiled and had a faint memory of his mother. He had very few of those, but he still remembered her face, even though it seemed to get harder and harder to remember each year. Looking at Lucy he wondered why he thought about her...yet it was comforting.

They walked home a little bit later and both held hands the entire way.

By the time they left the next morning, Dean and Lucy had all ready shared several more kisses. They were harmless childish things that were more sweet than anything else. Before leaving as John finished packing up the car an Sam crawled in, Dean stood inside of Bobby's house before smiling, feeling his cheeks turn red.

Glancing out the window he saw Bobby talking to his father who was waiting. Turning he looked at Lucy before smirking.

"I don't know when I'll be back...but I'll send you postcards..."

Lucy smiled.

"Sure."

"No really, every chance I get I will I promise."

Smiling, Lucy stepped back.

"Bye Dean Winchester."

Dean smiled before kissing her cheek.

"Bye Lucy."

Turning he headed for the Impala and couldn't help but smile as he watched Lucy and Bobby wave in the rear view mirror. Sitting in the passenger seat, Dean looked forward still smiling and John noticed this. Feeling somewhat happy that his son was sorta acting his age, he hoped for the best with Bobby and for Lucy. She was a tough kid, and deep down inside he knew she was what he would have looked for in a daughter.

_**2005**_

There were two times Sam thought of calling Lucy when Dean got into trouble. The first was when the reaper came when Dean had gotten himself hurt. This was shortly before he found the faith healer and Dean was in serious condition at the hospital.

There was no way of contacting their dad and things seemed really bad. Casually Sam mentioned her.

"Maybe I should call Lucy..."

Dean laid in bed, trying his hardest not to show how scared he was. He snorted and shook his head playing with the remote.

"Yeah, like that would help."

Quickly they moved on, not mentioning Dean's ex wife anymore.

The second time Sam did indeed call her. This was after everything had happened with their father and the demon. The accident had happened and they had been brushed to the hospital.

Dean was in critical condition and didn't seem to be pulling through.

Sam felt lost. It had been a few days since the accident, and they were all stuck. He knew the demon was closing in and his dad wasn't thinking straight.

He needed Dean more than ever, and the thought of loosing him scared him to death.

Finally Sam had enough, when he dropped the Impala off at Bobby's, he felt on edge. He saw the way Bobby was looking at him. He couldn't let go of any hope yet, he needed to believe in something when he felt so alone.

Looking at the wreck of the Impala he sighed, shoving his hands into the pockets of his jeans.

"I need to call Lucy..."

Bobby raised an eyebrow.

"You think that's a good idea?"

"She should know what's happening...have you spoke to her?"

"Last month, she's running that store in Chicago she fixed up and bought a few years back."

"I thought she was in Seattle?"

"Back in 02 she was..."

Sam sighed.

"Mind getting her number, I need to talk to her."

Bobby nodded.

"All right."

_**Later... **_

Sam sat in Bobby's den, he sat at his desk which was cluttered with papers, files, and books and waited as the phone rang. A few feet away was a framed photograph taken years back of himself, Dean, and Lucy. That seemed like a life time ago...

The the phone rang the forth time Sam was almost positive she wasn't going to pick up. Sighing he knew there wasn't really much she could, in fact she was miles away, and at this point he didn't even know if she wanted to be bothered.

But he remembered all those years seeing her and Dean together. Their relationship was beyond complected, there was no kidding that, but nevertheless she was still married to Dean and had a right to know.

That's when the phone was picked up and he heard Lucy on the other line out of breath. He knew she was most likely either upstairs at the shop or in the basement stocking shelf's before she ran to pick up the phone.

"Hello?"

Sam sighed, he really didn't know exactly what to say.

"Lucy...it's me Sam."

There was a pause before he heard her voice lift a bit with excitement.

"Sam! How the hell are you? It's been forever!"

Sam held the phone close, it had been a very long time. One thing he did regret when he finally walked out on his father and brother was leaving Bobby who had acted like an uncle to him his whole life and Lucy, who he loved like a sister. Now he had to tell her that Dean was in trouble...dying in fact and laying in a coma.

"Lucy, it's Dean. It's bad."

There was a pause on the phone before finally he heard her speak again, slowly.

"What happened?"

"The demon that got my mother...he's in a coma, it's not looking good. I'm with my father. I..."

He really didn't know what else to say.

"Where are you."

"Lucy..."

"No, where are you."

Sighing, Sam knew there was no keeping her away from this.

_**The next morning...**_

Sam had spent all day at the hospital and had contacted Dean in a manner of speaking and learned a reaper was after him. Trying to figure out what to do for his brother, he felt outraged as his dad only seemed to worry about tracking the demon. Feeling lost, he paced in Dean's room as machines beeped and tubes ran into his brother.

He prayed he would be okay, he was only twenty-six...this couldn't be happening.

"Sam."

Just then he turned and saw Lucy.

For being twenty-three she looked mature but in a very beautiful way. She was no longer that shy soft spoken little girl in the pigtails and oversized cowboy boots. Now she was a woman, and Sam could see how why his brother had fallen in love with her so quickly.

She had now filled out, had curves and large breasts. She wore blue jeans, a black blouse, and an open pea coat. Her hair was tied back and looked just as dark as it was when she was little. Sam noticed and wasn't even surprised to see she had her wedding band on as well.

She held as messenger bag and stared in at Dean with wide scared eyes. Sam turned and stared at her.

"Lucy..."

Lucy dropped her bag and hurried over to him, throwing her arms around his neck.

"Oh Sam..."

Sam smelled her sweet perfume, and remembered how comforting she felt against him. Lucy was somebody who always brought comfort when things seemed the worse.

Drawing back she looked at him.

"What happened to him?"

Sam turned.

"It's a long story..."

_**Later... **_

Dean in the in between, trapped in limbo had frozen in the doorway to his room to see Lucy sitting by his bedside. Lucy was the last person in the whole world he expected to see. In fact the last time they saw each other things had been pretty bad.

Now here she was.

She looked beautiful. It felt as if he hadn't seen her in forever. Slowly walking over he noticed she was gently rubbing his hand and humming. Sam meanwhile was pacing nervously in the room.

Dean knew he had told her everything, and here she was holding his hand.

He had a feeling he would die soon and never really be able to talk to her again. Feeling regret he thought over their time together and how bad they were to each other. Looking at her, he felt his heart ache.

He was going to die, and she would be there holding his hand when he slipped away.

_**Finally...**_

Dean gasped, shooting up in his bed like a bullet. The tubes going down his throat choked him as his eyes widened. Lucy screamed jumping back as all the monitors went crazy.

Sam turned and stared at his brother is utter disbelief.

"Dean..."

_**Later...**_

The doctors had all rushed in and forced Sam and Lucy out as they worked on Dean. Finally once he was stable and talking everyone was blown away. Just hours ago it seemed as if Dean was going to die. Now his levels were all up and he was perfectly fine, as if some unknown force had healed him.

Dean sat up while Sam raced to get their father. Lucy stood across the room, her coat now off and her arms crossed. She stared at him.

Dean looked up from the bed, they hadn't said anything since the nurses left.

"Well, your the last person I expected to see here."

Without any warning Lucy stormed over, her heels clicking against the floor as he raised her hand, her face crumbling before she slapped Dean right across the face. The sound echoed and Dean blinked, a little caught off guard. Lucy glared at him.

"That's for scaring me half to death!"

Dean ignored the stringing pain on his face and smirked.

"Nice to see you Lucy..."

Before they could say another word John appeared in the doorway, his eyes looked tired.

As he walked over, he looked at Lucy and rubbed her arm.

"Hey sweetheart..."

Lucy smiled kissing John on the cheek.

"Hi John."

John smiled at her, giving an extra moment to stare at her before turning and looking at Dean. Sensing it, Lucy bit down on her bottom lip.

"I'll be in the waiting room..."

Picking up her bag and coat, she left them.

Less than five minutes later she saw a bunch of doctors and nurses race down past the waiting room. Raising an eyebrow, Lucy put down her paperback book she was nervously flipping through and got up following them.

She ran into the boys looking in the doorway. Stunned she watched as they worked on John. When they finally announced his time of death, she looked just as shocked as them.


	3. Chapter 3

_**1993**_

John hung up the telephone in the phone booth outside of the post office. They were in Texas and he had just finished yet another hunt. He had touched bases with Bobby and planned on moving on with the boys to the next lead he had in Upstate Maine. Sighing he rubbed his stubble covered face before pushing the folding glass door open and seeing Sam sitting in the Impala reading a comic.

Glancing, he saw Dean walking over to the mail box, a big smile on his face. Smirking, he walked over, his shoes kicking up dirt from the lot. Just then he saw Dean put a postcard into the mail box, checking twice to see if it dropped in.

"Another postcard to Lucy huh?"

Dean looked up slightly embarrassed before smiling.

"Yeah."

"Just got off the phone with Bobby."

Dean's eyes seemed to light up with excitement before John smirked.

"Come on kiddo, let's go."

John could tell the disappointment in his son's eyes. He knew this harmless little crush had been developing stronger and stronger as time went by. In just the last year they had only been to Bobby's twice and he knew Dean thought of those few days as pure Heaven. Bobby of course had noticed, saying Lucy was walking around the house like a little puppy dog in love. He of course brushed it off laughing saying they were kids, but John felt slightly uneasy deep down inside. His children lived dangerous life's and he just wanted to protect them. Lucy was now in all manners speaking Bobby's family, and he knew if anything happened it would crush Dean. He hadn't wanted them to get so close so quickly, but it seemed whenever they did drop by to visit Dean and Lucy were joined by the hip.

Lucy was very slowly turning into a very pretty teenage girl. John knew she wouldn't be a late bloomer or stay in her tomboyish ways forever. The last time they had visited she had grown slightly taller and she wasn't so skinny and pale anymore. She still wore her hair either in a ponytail or pigtails, but had a soft friendly find of beauty to her that really couldn't be explained. Bobby seemed trouble one night telling John he didn't know the first thing about teenage girls, but John simply laughed and patted him on the shoulder. He told him not to worry, that Lucy seemed very mature and was able to take care of herself. Which was now showing.

The house had never looked so clean and Bobby said she honestly had been pulling her weight around. He had tried to get her to go to school but she opted to home school herself. As much progress she had made over these last two years, she was still very shy and withdrawn besides the few people she knew. Bobby had urged her to try it out, that maybe it would be the best to make friends but Lucy said she rather stay home. There weren't any problems of course, Lucy read all the time and seemed very smart, but she felt safe home which was where Bobby left her.

Bobby told John he had begun taking her on hunts, at first he was worried sick something but happen, but he couldn't believe for a girl so young to be so level headed. She always kept her calm and had an amazing shot. He said it was nice to have the extra help and Lucy helped him with his research. In their spare time he taught her everything she needed to know about cars.

John had noticed the last time they visited something seemed different about her. A new light seemed to be behind those lovely eyes of hers. He knew she was good for Bobby, gave him something now to care about and live for. She kept to herself Bobby said, usually picking the house up or off reading. He brought her along hunting only once in a while but was soon beginning to prove herself that Bobby was thinking about taking her with him full time. She didn't mind not having friends, she didn't mine being lonely, and most of all she didn't mind that it was just her and Bobby. She had made Bobby's house a home again and was nothing but a sweet presence that brought nothing up happiness. Bobby said at first he was scared of her, didn't know what to talk to her about or what to do with her. As time passed she proved she could take perfectly good care of herself and was more help than he ever thought he would need.

Bobby gave her a weekly allowance in which she would ride her bike, something Bobby had picked up for her, and go into town and pick up anything she needed. She usually wore blue jeans, T-shirts, or button down blouses, but Bobby had insisted on making her buy at least one sundress. He told her just because of what they did, didn't mean she had to act like one of the guys all the time. Bobby had laughed with John saying that she didn't wear that damn sundress until the first day they all came back to visit. Of course that whole day Dean and her spent together holding hands and walking in the junk yard.

The last night they spent at Bobby's, which was a few weeks ago, Dean and Lucy spent watching horror movies downstairs and eating junk food. John was comforted by hearing their low giggles in the next room. As much as he didn't like the idea of them getting close, he did like that his son was happy...something he would have given anything for.

Now lately Dean always send Lucy postcards, nearly every state they went to Dean would always pick one up for a fifty cents and mail one out to her. John had watched Dean and was amused to see how happy he got whenever he wrote one up.

As they headed back to the Impala, John suddenly had a horrible vision. He could see Dean older, walking into a dark bedroom before blood dripped down on his shoulder. In this quick vision that couldn't have lasted more than a few seconds in his mind, he saw the bury adult version of his son look up and scream.

A woman was pinned to the ceiling, bloody and pale with shock. He knew exactly who this woman as.

It was Lucy.

Shaking his head he blinked, feeling chills go down his spine.

"Dad? You okay?"

Dean asked slightly puzzled. Snapping out of it, John looked down at Dean before softly smiling.

"Yeah...come on."

Getting into his car, he sighed. He hoped what he had been thinking was wrong. He wanted Dean to find happiness later in life no matter what.

Little did he know he couldn't have been more wrong...

_**2005**_

It was nearly two weeks since John had died.

The boys had just finished a case on a killer clown and were planning on moving on very soon. Lucy and them had been staying at Bobby's and Lucy had mentioned she needed to get back to her store soon. These last two weeks Lucy had kept her distance. She had offered to go on the job with the boys when Sam phoned Bobby's, and for a moment Sam thought maybe it would be good to have another person helping them...but deep down inside he knew how badly Dean was doing and wanted time alone to speak to his brother. He knew both were guilty and needed to try and make sense of what happened.

Dean had been distant the entire job.

Now one early morning, Dean had finished smashing the Impala. All the rage and grief that was building up in him had reached a limit. He kept thinking of the last thing his father had said before he did and it kept repeating over and over and over again in his head. He couldn't block any of this out...it was killing him.

Throwing down the tire iron, Dean took a deep breath looking at the damage of the car. Staring at it he felt his temples pound as he glared at it.

He had always wanted to be so much like his father, now he was gone. Staring at the car, he thought of his childhood and how this was all that was left. Nothing but some twisted broken remains of junk.

"Dean?"

Dean turned and saw Lucy. She was standing in jeans and a sleeveless blouse. Her hands were stuffed in her front pockets and her eyes looked worried. Dean knew she had seen him destroy the car. Looking at her, he tried to take a deep breath but it rattled in his chest. He stared at her, trying to keep control when his face began to crumble.

Quickly Lucy hurried over just in time. She wrapped her arms around him as he buried his face in her hair which smelled of shampoo. A comforting scent from their past that used to stay on their sheets whenever they shared a bed. Holding her tight, he began to cry.

Lucy gently comforted him, rubbing his back and telling him it was all right. Letting all his grief go, he sobbed against her knowing not even Sam could do what she was doing now.

After what seemed like forever, Dean raised his head and stared down at her. His eyes were puffy with tears. Looking at her he couldn't remember why things had ended so badly between the two of them. Lucy stared up at him, softly smiling before reaching up and brushing his hair back with her thin fingers.

At that exact moment he wanted to tell her what his father had told him before he died. He knew Lucy usually had the answers and he felt if he didn't tell someone this he would drive himself crazy, instead he just stared at her before lifting her left hand.

He stared at her wedding ring before smirking. Lucy smiled and shrugged.

"Force of habit."

Dean held up his hand showing his ring.

"Tell me about it."

Lucy softly laughed before looking at him.

"How bad is it Dean, no bullshit."

Dean thought for a moment before sniffling and wiping his eyes.

"It's bad..."

"Wanna talk about it?"

Dean was tempted to say it again, instead he just sighed and shook his head.

"Not just yet...I just...can't believe he's gone."

Lucy looked up at Dean.

"I know..."

Both stood there in silence for a moment before Dean looked down.

"Bobby says your flying out tonight?"

"Yeah...gotta get back. I could stay..."

Dean shook his head.

"No, it's all right. Sam and I are gonna stick around here until the car is fixed and then go on our way..."

"Looks like you set yourself back a week or two, maybe more."

Dean glanced over his shoulder and gave a humorless laugh.

"Yeah...I guess so."

"Was it the demon Dean...the one who killed your mother?"

Dean stood there for a second before sighing.

"I think so..."

"You guys have any leads?"

"Not really...but when has that stopped us before. Now more than ever we have a reason to go after it."

"There's something else isn't there?"

"Huh?"

"You're not telling me everything..."

Dean stared at her before Lucy softly smiled.

"You never were a good liar Dean...but I understand maybe you don't want to talk about it. But it's bad...I can tell."

"Yeah it is."

Lucy bit down on her bottom lip shuffling her feet.

"I could stay and help you with the car...I mean you guys did teach me everything I needed to know."

Dean smiled and held her by the shoulders.

"No, you go on back. I just hope it isn't as long as it was this time till we see each other again."

Lucy smirked.

"Last time was pretty bad..."

"Yeah, stupid..."

"Yeah..."

Both looked at each other, they had an understanding. More than ever Dean wanted to kiss her and forget about what was happening inside him. Instead he simply leaned forward and gently kissed her on the forehead.

"You take care my Lucy doll..."

This was a nickname he only used when it was the two of them. Something he would die of embarrassment if anyone ever heard him say out loud. Lucy smiled touching his chest against his T-shirt.

"I'm so sorry about your dad...I loved him."

"I know you did."

"Promise me...if things get bad again, you'll call me?"

Dean nodded.

"I promise."

Lucy nodded before sighing, playing with his necklace she looked up.

"Fix your baby up...your dad would have wanted it to be done."

"I will."

"Take care Dean."

Patting his chest she looked at him a moment longer before turning. Dean watched her walk back to the house, so badly wanting to call out to her but standing still. An hour later he was so wrapped up into fixing the car, he didn't hear the taxi that picked Lucy up to drive her to the airport.

For the next few weeks he buried himself into the car, not letting what happened come too much into focus for him as he kept thinking about what his father said.

"If you can't save Sam...you need to kill him."

He prayed that whatever his father had meant was wrong.


	4. Chapter 4

_**1996**_

John was exhausted.

Slamming the trunk of the Impala, he cracked his back and looked around the dark back parking-lot. He had been off on a hunt for the last five days, it had been a pretty bad one and he nearly had gotten himself killed. He had left Sam and Dean at the motel this time around. Lately he had been taking them on hunts and the two of them had proven themselves to be able to handle things just fine. In fact, even though John didn't want to admit it he was downright proud of them.

This time he had left them behind, they had been switching schools a lot and he wanted them to lay low for the moment. Lately he was getting the feeling Sam was pulling away from him which killed him. Still he could remember him laying in his crib that horrible night, looking up at him before his mother's blood slowly dripped down on him.

Carrying his bags he made it around to the motel to room 8 where he had left the boys. Knocking on the door he waited. He had given strict orders for the boys to be in before dark no matter what. Finally the door opened and Sam appeared, half asleep.

"Dad?"

John walked in, expecting to see Dean sprawled on one of the beds watching the game or eating a pizza they had ordered. Instead he saw the room was empty.

Raising an eyebrow he looked around.

"Where's Dean?"

Sam bit down on his bottom lip.

"Um..."

John suddenly became furious.

"He left you alone?"

"No, he's a few rooms down...he..."

Sam stumbled over his words before looking down at his feet.

"You came home early, he was going to tell you..."

"What?"

Sam just stared at him before John dropped his bags and took a step closer to him.

"What room?"

"Dad..."

"What room?"

"Twelve..."

Sam said in a low voice, right away, almost ashamed he had given up his brother so quickly. Frowning, John turned and walked right out, storming over to that room. Lately his temper had been on a short fuse and he wasn't in the mood to deal with Dean shacking up with some local girl and leaving his brother alone, even if they were only a few rooms apart.

Reaching room twelve he pounded his fist on the door, as far as he could see the curtains were closed and the lights were off.

"Dean!"

He yelled.

There was silence and John pounded even louder, not caring if he woke anyone. Sam meanwhile was peaking out of his room just a few doors down nervously. Finally John had enough, he had a feeling Dean was there and wasn't in the mood for any bullshit. Putting all his weight into his shoulder, he slammed against the door making it crack against it's frame and flying open.

Flipping on the lights, he looked in and right away his eyes widened.

Dean and Lucy were in bed, Dean was on top of her and froze, his bare back arched and his eyes wide in utter shock. Lucy laid underneath, her hair for once down, looking gorgeous lad down flowing across the pillows. John stood in the doorway, unable to look away or say anything.

"DAD!"

Right away John snapped his eyes shut, backing up fumbling for the door.

_**A few minutes later...**_

_**"**_WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING!"

John shouted in Dean's face back in his motel room. Sam and Lucy sat on one of the beds, looking like two ashamed dogs with their tails down between their legs. Dean stood there only in jeans, inches away from his dad who looked like he was about to kill someone. Dean had his arms crossed, trying not to let his father's shouting get to him. He looked more annoyed more than anything while Lucy looked embarrassed and ashamed.

"Keep your voice down, someone is going to wake the manager."

John glared at him before pointing his finger in his face.

"Watch your tongue boy..."

John then turned and looked down at Lucy.

"Does Bobby know your here?"

Lucy looked up.

"No...he's on a hunt, he thinks I'm home."

"How the hell did you get here?"

"I took a bus two days ago..."

John shook his head, his head was pounding.

"Do you have any idea how dumb that was? How much Bobby is going to worry if he tries calling and you don't answer! Jesus Lucy! I thought you were smarter than that!"

"Don't talk to her like that, it isn't her fault."

John turned and looked at Dean like he was crazy.

"What did you just say?"

"It isn't her fault...stop yelling."

"I'll yell as much as I want, you guys are kids for God's sake! What were you thinking?" How long have you two been doing this?"

Dean jut stared at his father before John turned and looked down at Sam.

"Have you known about this?"

Sam didn't answer before John shook his head. For the last six years it was perfectly clear that Dean and Lucy were sweet on each other. Before this Bobby and him had simply joked about it, thinking it more then just some silly crush they had on each other. Dean took out lots of girls, and from what John heard from Bobby, Lucy was starting to see some local guys her age once she got a summer job waiting tables at a diner a couple of miles down the road. Whenever John brought the boys over for a week or so, Dean and Lucy would go off on their own. Dean had been driving for some time now and John trusted him enough to let him take the Impala out. Often Dean would go out for drives with her or to the movies. They were caught kissing on the back porch and flirting shamelessly back and forth. Dean acted slightly different, Lucy was the only girl he treated like a lady.

Lucy was turning into a pretty little teenager who was developing rather fast. The last time they visited it was summer. Lucy came home in tight denim shorts and a tied off plaid shirt which revealed her flat stomach and now plump breasts. John remembered how she came through the front door that evening with a pair of roller skates thrown over her shoulder. Her hair was in a side ponytail her she was wearing bright red lip stick. Right away the moment she saw them she dropped her skates and ran over hugging and kissing the three of them.

That night Bobby bragged that Lucy was becoming a better shot than him and over a few beers they all had a good laugh. That night Dean and her disappeared and he didn't think anything of it.

Now here they were.

John glared down at Lucy.

"I'm sending your little ass on the first bus tomorrow morning and I'm making damn sure you and my idiot son never do this again!"

"No dad."

John turned around again.

"What?"

Dean stared at him.

"No, I don't want her to leave."

"I don't really care what you want or don't want right now, I'm sending her back home."

Dean sighed looking down.

"Dad...me and Lucy got married last night."

John turned, completely stunned.

_**2006**_

Sam had gone missing.

The roadhouse had burned down and Ash along with many others were dead, Ellen and Jo were missing and at this exact moment, Dean felt as if something horrible was happening.

He had called Bobby up desperate and scared.

They discovered the road house when the first vision came.

The place he described Bobby knew, right away Dean wanted to take off. He had a horrible feeling something bad was happening, and his brother was stuck in the middle of it.

"Let's stop by my place first, load up our gear before we run straight into God knows what."

Bobby said, An hour later they arrived at Bobby's place when Dean raised an eyebrow.

"Is that Lucy's jeep?"

Parked out front in the main driveway was Lucy's 98 used old tank of a jeep. Dean was the one who had fixed it up for her to run and had even taught her how to drive stick on it. Somehow, by some unknown force it was still running. Dean was surprised since Lucy had been making pretty good money from her store, or at least that's what he heard. He did understand that the jeep was special, it held a lot of good memories. One being the two of them spending nearly two days in the back seat after a hunt.

Lucy was sitting on the front porch. Her hair was tied up in a brightly colored silk scar and she wore jeans and a T-shirt. She sat there wearing her old cowboy looks and looked very pale. Overhead the sky was becoming overcast.

Killing the engine, Dean and Bobby got out and walked over.

"What are you doing here?"

Bobby asked as Lucy rose. Dean hadn't seen her in nearly a year. He had been thinking about her a lot lately, and was glad deep down inside to see her.

"You said you needed my help with a case out West..."

Right away Bobby shut his eyes and shook his head.

"Jesus, where is my mind going..."

Lucy raised an eyebrow looking at Dean and him.

"What's the matter?"

Bobby opened his eyes again and sighed.

"I'm sorry darling, I completely forgot."

Lucy just stared.

"You...forgot. Bobby we spoke on the phone three days ago...you told me to drive out here."

Dean stared at Bobby who looked at him.

"It was a ghoul case out West, about twelve murders or so...I needed a little extra help and I knew you and Sam had been busy so I gave Lucy a call...then when you contacted me saying Sam was missing it slipped my mind...Jesus I'm worse than an old man..."

"You are an old man."

Dean smirked before Bobby rolled his eyed. Lucy stared at them and Dean knew she was tired, she had just driven a very long trip only to be welcomed by some very confusing news.

"Sam went missing?"

Dean sighed, he had a pretty bad feeling and wasn't exactly to key to have her around for it. But then again with his dad now gone he knew he needed all the help he could get, most of all now that the road house burned down. Looking at her he remembered the last time they spoke, and how badly he had wanted to kiss her. Sighing he stared at her.

"I need your help Lucy...Sam is in trouble...big trouble."

_**Later...**_

Lucy sat between them in the front seat of the Impala, she hadn't asked any questions after Dean finished telling her everything, instead she simply nodded and said she would help. He knew she loved Sam like a brother. The drive was long and Dean was starting to get more and more nervous. The worst possible thoughts kept going in and out of his mind. He prayed that his brother was all right.

At one point Lucy put her hand on his leg and Dean began to feel his blood pressure begin to slowly drop. There was one thing he always found strange, whenever she touched him he seemed to relax.

Finally they got there.

Getting out, Dean and Bobby grabbed their rifles from the trunk. Lucy stood with them before Dean handed her a gun before handing it to her. Both exchanged a quick look and right away Lucy read his thoughts. She knew he was worried, in fact he was down right scared.

"Let's go..."

Slowly everyone began to walk, their shoes crunching against the gravel as they slowly began to enter the torn down ghost town. It was a cool night, and mist was beginning to roll in with the fog. The three of them walked slowly, Dean had his flashlight ready as they walked down the dirt road.

Turning down, they stopped. Dean looked relieved.

"Sam..."

Sam was about fifty or so yards away, he was holding his arm and looked pretty beaten up. Dean lowered his flashlight and gun.

Sam smiled seeing his brother.

"Dean..."

Just then behind Sam a guy, in uniform stumbled up from the ground holding a knife that had fallen in the mud.

"Sam! Look out!"

Lucy saw it coming, so didn't Bobby, but there was nothing they could have done about it.

The kid in the uniform grabbed Sam and plunged the knife right into his back. It happened in just the matter of a few seconds. Sam never saw it coming and froze, his eyes snapping shut as the kid twisted the blade upwards.

Lucy felt her heart leap into her throat as Dean's eyes widened.

"NOOOOO!"

Dean, Bobby, and Lucy took off running, Dean was in the lead as the kid pulled back from Sam who looked up towards the sky, his knees buckled and he swayed back and forth before falling down. His face all ready loosing color as he gulped back pain. Dean reached Sam within seconds, dropping his gun and flashlight and falling to his knees.

The kid took off in a flash and Lucy and Bobby didn't even slow to see if Bobby was all right, instead they took off after him as Dean tried to gather up his fallen brother who couldn't even control his own body movement.

Lucy faintly heard Dean say in a terrified voice...

"Whoa Sam, Sam...Sam! Let me take a look at you..."

Lucy slowed for just a second, still holding her gun as Bobby took the lead. She turned slightly and looked back and saw Sam slummed against Dean as he tried to hold him up. Turning, she tried to put all her speed into her legs as she ran ahead of Bobby, her heart racing.

For Lucy, things had never been normal.

An orphan that watched women and children get torn apart by wolfs, things she thought only existed in stories and movies. Taken in by Kevin Swann and his hunter friends. Molested, and thrown out of being a child and into a young woman who was woken up to the fact that there were horrible things that really did live among them. Things that she didn't think we're possible.

Then they were killed as well, just in front of her. Everything she had gotten to know dispute the abuse was gone and then she was taken in by Bobby.

She thanked God every night for Bobby saving her. He had taken her in and become her new family. Hunting now wasn't everything, but she saw how important it was. Bobby was like a father to her and never showed any fear. She slowly rose above everything that had happened to her and adjusted to her new life.

And then there was John Winchester and his boys.

John had always been so handsome. Nobody ever knew this but Lucy always thought he was secretly the most handsome man she had ever seen despite his flaws. He was strong, brave, and everything you thought should be in a fairytale.

She loved Sam and Dean, Sam was like a brother to her and Dean...

So many memories and time slipped past her, she knew they couldn't blame anyone, they were just children who happen to rush and fall into love. Sure they really shouldn't have ever gotten married, any blind person could see that, but she had to remember they had been in love and were so much alike.

Maybe that had been the problem.

She remembered how badly things had gotten, how they had tried to kill each other...how badly they had fought and what horrible things they had said to each other. Yet, there had been so many good memories...

How protective he had been, which also had been a flaw.

How he used to cook for her, how he bought her that pretty dress she had wanted years back and said he played eight straight hours of poker to get the winnings to afford it. How he had taught her how to drive, how he had gone with her for her first tattoo and held her hand, how he used to kiss her forehead, hold her hand, make her laugh, tickle her...

How he used to give her piggyback rides, fixed her boots when they had worn out. Used to go on hunts with her and how well they used to work together. How they would sing in the car, how much trouble they got into...

He was her husband, yet they hadn't lived that way in so long.

She had been with a lot of men as he had with women. They never really did act like a married couple. In fact she had lived with a very kind English fellow out in Seattle for a while back and now she was seeing a very handsome man who was originally from Texas. A few years back after moving around, hunting and picking up and ditching guys left and right she had decided it was time to settle. This of course was when she wasn't speaking to Dean after another horrible blow out and decided to take a break from hunting.

She bought an old antique store in down town Chicago from a woman named Micki Foster. She claimed she was done with the business and needed a very long waited retirement. She said she took over this store in the late 1980's with her cousin.

Lucy worked night and day and fixed it up and it was really paying off a great profit. She hunted on the side, only small jobs Bobby sent her way but she lived in the apartment above the store and worked it all herself. She met lots of interesting people, was seeing a really great guy, and was happy and feeling normal.

She had been thinking about Dean a lot lately and here she was...

She ran and ran until finally the kid disappeared out of sight into the woods. Bobby caught up to her panting and grabbed her telling her it was no use. Lucy stopped, her heart pounding as she stood there looking at the darkness of the tree line. The kid took off like a bullet and there was no sign of him anywhere.

"Come on, Sam might be hurt..."

Bobby turned and hurried back to the ruins of the town but much slower. Lucy paused for a moment, looking at the woods debating if she should keep running. Instead she took a second, tried to catch her breath and hurried back to Bobby.

By the time they got back they found Dean holding Sam's body and shaking. He stared off into the distance, his eyes blank and emotionless. Lucy slowed as she walked over, Bobby hurried and knelt down, right away reaching for Sam who was slammed against Dean's shoulder.

"DON'T TOUCH HIM!"

Dean screamed making Bobby jump back. Lucy bit down on her bottom lip seeing the bloody wound on the back of Sam's jacket. He wasn't moving, and she saw how badly he had been stabbed...feeling a horrible sense of dread wash over her she slowly walked over.

Dean had his eyes shut and was slowly rocking Sam's lifeless body back and forth, whispering to him that he was going to be all right. Lucy put down her gun and slowly knelt down on the other side, she touched gently the back of Sam's jacket and saw blood on her fingertips. Sighing she reached over and felt his pause.

Nothing.

Her brow wrinkling she waited and felt it again. Still nothing, sighing she looked at Dean before Bobby sighed and looked at her. She silently shook her head before he looked at Dean.

"Dean, I'm sorry...he's gone."

"NO!"

Dean cried, snapping his eyes shut and squeezing his brother's body.

"No, he's fine...he's just hurt...we're going to help him...hear that Sammy? You're going to be just fine...just fine..."

His words became broken as he held Sam, just then it began to pour. Bobby and Lucy looked at each other knowing they couldn't say anything.

A half an hour passed and finally Bobby coaxed Dean to stand. He refused to let go of Sam before Lucy gently held his arm and stared at him with calm eyes.

"Let's carry him inside, you don't want him to get wet."

Dean stared at her before slowly nodding. With some help, he got to his feet and scooped Sam up like he was weightless. Lucy remembered him carrying her just the same way years ago. They got inside one of the empty houses where Dean gently laid Sam out on one of the beds with care. He just sat there, his eyes bloodshot, and his hands shaking.

Silently he took a seat and just stared at his brother.

Lucy watched from the doorway, feeling helpless. Bobby stood with her, knowing there really wasn't anything they could do.

_**Later that night...**_

Lucy had fallen asleep on a torn up sofa in the next room. Bobby had left to get something to eat, he was just as worried as her since Dean hadn't moved in hours but said that once he got back and they got a little food into Dean, maybe that would help with the shock and they could get him to go back in the Impala with her. He could then figure out what to do with Sam's body.

"Jesus, first John now Sam..."

Bobby appeared to have choked back what appeared to be tears in his eyes before he gently smiled and touched Lucy's arm.

"Please keep an eye on him."

Lucy nodded and watched him leave. She stayed in the doorway, hearing him softly talk to Sam before crossing the room to the broken down sofa and sitting down. Watching him, she felt excused and overwhelmed. She listened to Dean talking to Sam before Bobby came back.

He tried to get Dean to eat and Lucy woke up just when Dean was shouting at him. Lucy watched in silence before Bobby left. Dean paced back and forth before stopping and looking at her. Lucy had sat on the sofa the entire time watching them in the dining room argue. She hadn't said a word. Dean stared at her, his eyes puffy and raw from crying.

He looked at her before going back into the other room. Lucy stared down at the floor when she heard Dean swear to himself and yell. It scared her before Dean stormed out again. She had no idea how much time had passed. Instead she watched him shrug on his coat on and grab his car keys.

"Dean..."

She shot up and got in his way. Dean looked at her, he looked as if his mind was somewhere else and racing.

"Lucy...I gotta go."

"Where?"

Dean paused and stared at her.

"I'll be back..."

He touched her face gently.

"I promise."

Before she could say anything he stormed out and within seconds she heard the Impala road to life. The headlights bounced across the windows before disappearing. Lucy stood there for a moment before feeling sick to her stomach. She didn't have her phone with her and both Bobby and Dean had taken the cars. She was stranded and felt helpless.

Running to the window she looked out through the broken glass at Dean's car disappearing into the night. Sighing loudly she kicked the wall before going back to the room where Sam was laying.

Sitting down beside his bed she stared at him and felt tears fill her eyes.

"Damnit Sam...what am I supposed to do?"

Putting her head down in her hands she loudly sighed and waited.

Forty minuets later Sam gasped loudly and snapped awake. Lucy's head snapped up and she nearly fell backwards in her chair.

"Sam!"

Sam's eyes widened as he looked around.

'What the hell happened?"

Lucy was speechless.

Within the hour, she helped Sam off the bed, she was in total and utter disbelief and didn't say a word as Sam blinked and looked around.

"What happened?"

"You were hurt, we thought..."

She couldn't finish, instead she simply looked at him before lifting his shirt up and checking his back. Sam kept saying what happened and all Lucy could do was stare with wide eyes and shake her head.

It couldn't be possible.

Dean arrived shortly after, right away he froze in the doorway and looked at Sam, pure relief sweeping over his eyes. Lucy stood back watching the brothers and didn't say a word. For a moment she caught Dean's eyes and knew something was wrong.

"Oh Dean...what did you do..."

She thought to herself, feeling total and utter dread fill her.


	5. Chapter 5

_**2006**_

Lucy didn't say one word when Dean lied to Sam in the abandoned house. Instead she just stood back watching them, and catching pleading glances from Dean every time they caught each other's eyes. Sam was confused and slightly dazed, he didn't seem to remember anything.

"Is that what really happened?"

Sam asked once Dean forced him to sit down and eat. Lucy leaned against one of the crumbling walls, her arms folded and her eyes glaring at Dean. Turning slightly, he looked at her, begging silently not to say a word. Sighing, Lucy blinked before nodding.

"Yeah Sam...:"

She didn't say much until they decided to load back into the Impala and drive to Bobby's. Lucy sat in the back seat and kept looking up and seeing Dean nervously look back at her in the mirror. Shaking her head she stared down at her hands and her wedding band. At this exact moment she wanted to yank the thing off and toss it out the window.

When they reached Bobby's it was early morning and Bobby's stunned eyes said it all. Lucy was the last to enter the house and looked at Bobby as he stared at Dean.

"Well Sam is all better now and we're back in it so..."

Dean mumbled before walking into the living room. Bobby just stared before Lucy shook her head.

"I need a smoke, I'll be outside..."

Usually she never did smoke, it was a bad habit she had picked up when she was a teenager. Dean of all people often scolded her about this, and it was something she was able to kick a few years back. One day she simply grew tired of buying them, and the cough she had started to develop nearly every morning she woke up. Tossing them aside, she only lit one up when she was under stress. This was usually after a fight or bad hunt, or whenever she did run into Dean. Having kept a stale pack of them in her glove box for such times, she knew the way she felt she could light up ten.

Walking out, she felt the sun blaze down on her before going to the passenger side of her car. Unlocking it she opened her glove box, a small vial of holy water and some papers and CDs fell out before she found the pack. With slightly shaking hands she was able to pull one out and punch the lighter in and waited.

She eyed the house and sighed.

She never wanted to be back in Chicago more than ever at this exact moment. She was finally somewhat was beginning to put her life together. She only went on a few hunts now, nothing insane. She had her business and it was doing well, and she was seeing someone.

Her life was peaceful.

The area the store was in was nice, and she lived on the second floor. She was begging to make friends and bled in like any other normal person. She visited Bobby a few times a year, and before everything that had happened the year before hadn't seen the Winchesters in what seemed like forever.

She knew Sam had gotten into a pretty bad fight with John and was planning on law school. John she had heard from here and there, in fact once when he was hunting alone, saying Dean was working a case on the East coast, he stopped by crashed for the night. This was nearly three years ago and Lucy could remember it like it was yesterday. They had drank a little and John looked around the store with a small smile before telling her he was proud. The two of them hunted a case in the city that weekend and everything had turned out fine. Before he left John saw her wedding band and smirked.

He asked if she had heard from him and Lucy simply rolled her eyes causing him to laugh.

The next time she saw John he was in the hospital and had died.

Now all this business with Sam made her stomach turn. If it was in fact the same demon that had killed Mary Winchester and maybe even John...why was it after Sam?

She knew Sam had died, she had seen it with her own two eyes...yet here he was.

"Oh Dean...what did you do?"

She wondered before the lighter clicked out. Taking it, she lit her stale cigarette and inhaled deeply before coughing for a moment. She needed something to settle her nerves as she debated if she would stick around or not. At the moment she felt more in the way than anything else. Just then she saw Bobby and Dean walk out. Lucy took another drag of the smoke, leaning against the passenger door before they walked over.

"You stupid ass! What did you do?"

Dean stopped, both men were standing on the other side of Lucy's car.

"WHAT DID YOU DO?"

Bobby grabbed Dean by the shirt before letting go. Dean's eyes went downward, he looked exhausted, pale and ashamed. Lucy threw down her smoke and walked over, standing beside Bobby as he glared at Dean like a child who had been caught doing something terrible.

"You made a deal...for Sam didn't you? How long did they give you?"

Dean's eyes looked up and met Lucy's before he shook his head.

"Bobby..."

"HOW LONG?"

Bobby snapped. There was a moment Dean said nothing before sighing and softly saying...

"One year."

Lucy shut her eyes as Bobby stared at him stunned.

"Damnit Dean..."

"Which is why we need to find this yellow eyed sonofabitch...which is why I'm going to kill it myself. I mean I got nothing to loose now right?"

Bobby's face crumbled before Lucy stepped forward and grabbed his shirt, rage burned through her eyes as she glared at him.

"I could murder you right now..."

"And what send me downstairs ahead of..."

Lucy let go before he could finish before Bobby shook his head.

"What is it with you Winchesters? You...you're dad...just inching to throw yourself s down the pit!"

"That's my point...dad brought me back, I'm not even supposed to be here! At least something good can come out of it, my life can mean something..."

Lucy felt hot stinging tears begin to build in her eyes but she fought them back.

"What, it didn't mean anything before? Do you really have that low of an opinion of yourself? Are you really that screwed in the head?"

Bobby lashed out taking Dean again and shaking him. Dean fought back tears looking at him.

"I couldn't let him die Bobby...I couldn't...he's my brother...

Lucy looked at him, silent tears rolling down her face as she stood behind Bobby.

"How is your brother going to feel when he finds out your going to hell?"

"How did you feel when you found out your dad went for you?"

Bobby finished. Dean stared off, his big green eyes looking glassy.

"You can't tell him...you can take a shot at me but please don't tell him."

Dean pleaded to Bobby. Right away Bobby's face crumbled as he held onto Dean's face, that's when a noise further off in the distance made them all stop and listen.

It happened again and everything was forgotten for the moment. Hunching down, they hid near an old broken down car. Seeing a shadow, Dean jumped up and grabbed the figure.

"Ellen!"

Bobby yelled. It was the woman Bobby had mentioned that had been working with the boys. The same one who's roadhouse had just burned down. Dean seemed stunned seeing her and wrapped his arms around her tightly.

"Jesus we thought you were..."

"Dead?"

Ellen asked before looking up.

Bobby sighed loudly.

"Come on girl, you just about scared the hell out of me. Let's go inside..."

Ellen nodded as Bobby took her arm pulling her from Dean. They began to walk ahead to the house before Dean stopped and glanced back at Lucy.

Lucy stared at Dean with utter heartbreak showing in her eyes. Now she knew she couldn't leave. Frowning, he walked back a few feet and gently rubbed the side of her arm.

"Come on..."

Lucy didn't say anything, instead she glared up at him with angry tear filled eyes before Dean forced a small smile.

"Come on Lucy doll...we got business to do."

Taking her hand he lead her behind Bobby and Ellen, Climbing up the steps Ellen looked over her shoulder at Lucy.

"Who's this?"

She asked.

"This is..."

Bobby began but Dean cut him off.

"My wife."

Ellen raised an eyebrow slightly stunned before looking Lucy up and down.

"Hot damn...my little Jo is gonna be one heartbroken teen when she hears of this."

Turning back they entered the house before Lucy feel Dean squeeze her hand. Right before they went inside he leaned down and softly whisper...

"Everything is going to be all right...I promise."

But Lucy knew...it was a lie.

_**That night...**_

The demon was dead.

"How long did you get?"

"One year...I got one year."

Lucy heard Dean say to Sam over near the car. She was standing in the cemetery with Bobby and Ellen. In just the matter of hours hell had honestly broken loose. They had tracked down the demon to the map Samuel Colt had left.

Lucy hadn't gotten the chance to talk to Dean alone, but she knew what he had done.

She watched in utter horror as the colt opened up the tomb and hundreds of souls came pouring out from Hell. She had helped by helping trying to shut the doors when she watched the yellow eyed demon die...and for just a moment, watched John come back.

Now the skies had cleared and the stars were showing.

It was over.

Ellen, Bobby, and herself came walking over. Lucy was tired and the knees of her jeans had been torn open from falling.

"Well, the yellow eyed demon is dead, but a lot more got through that gate..."

Ellen said.

"How many you think?"

"Hundred, maybe two hundred. It's an army..."

Ellen and Bobby exchanged a look before Bobby sighed.

"I sure hope you boys are ready, cause the war has just begun..."

Lucy watched as Dean smirked and looked into the opened trunk of the Impala with Sam before tossing the colt in.

"Well...we got work to do."

Slamming the trunk, he winked at Sam who smiled back. Ellen and Bobby shook their heads and began heading back to Bobby's car while Lucy stayed still for a moment. She really hadn't let everything sink in just yet. Sam patted Dean on the shoulder before heading to the side of the car to get in. Dean glanced over at her.

"You riding with us?"

Lucy stared at him, hands in her pockets.

"You really did it didn't you?"

Dean sighed looking at Lucy before walking over. Lucy stared up at him, not wanting to cry. Instead she felt angry as he put his hands on her arms and tried to draw her in close. She pushed away.

"A year? That's all you got?"

Dean sighed.

"I'm sorry Lucy, but I had to do it."

Lucy sighed loudly and looked up at the night sky before looking back at him.

"Jesus Dean..."

Dean's brow wrinkled before he stepped forward.

"I got a year, a whole year...and we're going to find a way out of this."

"You're lying."

Lucy said simply.

Dean raised an eyebrow.

"Huh?"

"You're lying...I can see it in your eyes, your scared of something...that crossroad demon..."

Lucy looked over Dean's shoulder to make sure nobody could hear before she lowered her voice.

"Said there wasn't a way out of this, if you do something happens to Sam right."

Dean looked as if he was ready to lie to her before he sighed and shook his head.

"Lucy I'm sorry..."

Lucy remembered the last time they were really together, the yelling, the screaming, how they had nearly smashed through the window together. Now that seemed so stupid, something kids would have done. Looking at him she quickly and roughly wiped her eyes.

"Come on..."

She said ingoing him and climbing into the car. Dean watched before following.

_**Later...**_

They had all gone back to Bobby's.

There was no celebrating, no party, no laughs. Just silence.

Bobby and Ellen sat in the living room sharing a bottle in front of the fire while Sam found Lucy's old room and laid down on the made bed. Dean had stayed in there for at least an hour before leaving and shutting the lights off behind him.

Sam was fast asleep and looked just like he did when he was younger. Sam stood in the doorway and watched him for a very long time. He had no regret with what he had done and at this exact moment he wasn't scared with what would happen to him in only 364 days...

He had killed the demon, the same demon who had caused his family so much pain. He had done exactly as his father had wanted and he had been able to see John one last time. His father looked proud and at rest and he only prayed he had escaped and was now free and with their mother.

He watched Sam feeling the most overwhelming feeling of love settle over him before turning and walking down the hall. Going to the guest bathroom he looked at his pale reflection in the mirror and sighed.

Grabbing a face cloth he wet it and looked at the wound on his forehead, the blood was all ready beginning to dry.

"Here let me help you..."

Dean turned as Lucy walked in, she looked pale and purplish dark circles much like his own were underneath her eyes. Dean paused for a moment, remembering how good they used to be together before faintly smiling.

Handing her the wet face cloth he shrugged off his plaid over shirt and tossed it to the ground before pressing his back against the sink. Lucy stood on her tip toes and gently began to press the wet cloth against his forehead, leaning in her breasts pressed up against his chest as her face was just a few inches away from his. She smelled sweet, just like how she did when they were kids.

"So what now?"

She finally asked, breaking the silence. Dean frowned as she continued to clean his cut.

"Sam and I go hunting, collect as many of those souls that escaped and send them back..."

Lucy didn't say anything before Dean stared at her, his heart aching.

"Lucy...I'm sorry, I had to do it..."

"You don't need to explain to me Dean. You did what you had to do and Sam is all right, that's all that matters...'

Dean stared at her before sighing.

"I'm sorry..."

"For what?"

"For everything...we've been really stupid."

Lucy looked at him.

"Just because you have a year to live doesn't mean you can start trying to smooth talk me."

Dean smirked before he looked down at her.

"I love you Lucy doll..."

"I love you to Dean..."

There was silence again before he slowly wrapped his arms around her waist pulling her closer. Tears were in his eyes.

"You saw him didn't you?"

"You're father?"

Dean nodded before Lucy softly smiled.

"Yeah...he looked happy Dean, he really did."

"You think he's..."

"Maybe..."

"Do you believe that?"

"Of course, wherever he is...I know he's free and he's probably with your mother."

Dean smiled.

"I sure hope so..."

Lucy reached up gently touching the side of Dean's face.

"Come on you...keep me company tonight...you can keep away the bad dreams."

Dean smiled before leaning forward and pressing his full lips against hers. Right away Lucy felt Dean go hard against her through his jeans and she smiled before tilting her head and softly kissing the length of his jawline down to his neck.

They went to the spare bedroom, not bothering with the lights as they stumbled backwards, kissing like madmen and undressing each other. Lucy was tugging up his shirt as he pushed her down against the bed. Within seconds shirts were pulled off, zippers pulled down, and belts taken off. Dean kissed Lucy down her neck and against her breasts as she ran her hands through his short hair.

Hovering above her, only the moonlight dimly lighting the darkened room he stared down at her and gently held her hand with his. Their fingers laced together as he looked down. He loved her, and knew that no matter what happened, and if he did indeed go to hell a year from now, he would never forget this very night.

Leaning down he kissed her deeply as her free hand moved up and clutched onto his deeply tanned arched shoulders. A moment layer Lucy's breath caught as he entered her. The last time they had sex seemed like a lifetime ago and had been after a few bottles of hard liquor. Lucy tilted her head back softly moaning before Dean adjusted himself and buried his head against her shoulder. The bed softly creaking, he wrapped his arms around her tightly, pressing her into the bed.

A half an hour it was over and it had begun to rain. It was pouring outside loudly and hit the windows.

Dean and Lucy laid together in each others arms. Lucy slept against him as Dean stared up at the ceiling, gently rubbing her arms and humming under his breath.

_**The next morning...**_

Dean awoke and for a moment he didn't know where he was. He was used to waking up in strange rooms, in fact that had become part of his everyday life, but today things seemed different. Laying on the bed, he squinted as sunlight poured through the windows and everything came rushing back at him at once.

The demon was dead.

And the clock for his life had slowly begun to tick. He knew as the days turned into weeks, and the weeks turned into months, that ticking would become louder and louder.

He looked over to the other side of the bed to find it empty.

A piece of paper laid on the pillow.

Rubbing his unshaven face, he sat slightly up and read the note in Lucy's small handwriting.

_Dean,_

_I didn't want to wake you, most of all after the night you had. I decided to leave before dawn, I have to get back and I honestly think I'll be more in the way than anything else. I hope I was of some help here and I'll be the first to admit...I regret all the wasted time we had these last couple of years. Now more than ever that's clear. I love you Dean, I honestly do...we might not be you're typical married couple and we live our own life's...but I think there's a real reason why we don't take our rings off. I know after last night after whatever choices you did...your father is proud. I don't care what you think...there has to be a way to save you. You're brother loves you very much and believe me when a Winchester puts their mind to something there's no stopping them. I want you to keep yourself safe...and anytime you need me please come and see me. I'm serious...do what you need to do this year, but don't give up. You're a fighter Dean...please don't give up. I love you...please come see me again. _

_Lucy Doll_

Dean sighed holding the paper before looking around the room. He knew there was still time to fix things, there had to be.


	6. Chapter 6

_**Chicago **_

Lucy arrived at her store a little after dark. She had driven very slow and stopped a few times. Her head had been aching and she just wanted to get back as soon as possible. One she pulled up to the familiar neighborhood and streets she felt relaxed. Parking her jeep she sat there for a moment looking at the store before rubbing the back of her neck. She hadn't wanted to leave Dean like that, most of all after everything that happened, but she knew him and Sam were on a mission and wouldn't stick around that long either. She would be taking a trip back down to Bobby's soon where she could sit down and try to begin to figure out some way to get Dean out of this, even though she had a horrible feeling there wasn't going to be a way.

Her head pounded and her heart ached.

The demon that John had hunted for and had killed him was finally dead.

Thinking of the way Sam looked in that cemetery sent chills down her spine. She was worried, and prayed that Dean in the goodness of his heart had made the right choice and that somehow it wouldn't be for nothing. Lucy wasn't angry at Dean anymore, she understood Sam had been his everything and that he had been protecting him ever since he was a baby. Lucy wondered if someone she loved had been killed if she would have done the same thing? But then again she only did love Dean, Sam, and Bobby. John was now dead and she didn't have any one else...

Getting out she took her bag and began to fish for her keys.

The sex with Dean had been good. In fact something that she needed while she felt the verge of a panic attack begin to creep up over her. It had been so long since she had been with him and now remembering the night before she knew it was just like slipping into a bad habit like she did with smoking. It was bad for her yet she couldn't help it...this brought comfort.

Unlocking the door, she noticed the alarm was off and that's when she knew Joe was most likely upstairs.

Joe was the man she had been seeing lately. He was 6'7, originally from Texas, friendly, funny, and very kind. He owned a radio station and the two had been seeing each other after meeting in a bar. Of course Joe had no idea about Lucy's hunting or the fact she was still married.

Not bothering with the lights, she knew her way around well, walking across the wooden floor past the displays and shelf's before she began to climb the stairs.

It had started to rain again outside and she heard it. The drive back was mostly clear but when she got out of the jeep she felt a faint mist spraying in the night air. Humming softly under her breath she dropped her bag once she went to the second floor and walked over to the bedroom where she found Joe fast asleep.

Smiling softly she kicked off her boots and threw herself down beside him. Joe mumbled in his sleep before opening up his handsome brown eyes.

"Hey you...just get back?"

Lucy laid back, the bedroom was on the second floor that she had turned into an apartment for herself. There was a tiny bathroom, kitchen with a den, and her bedroom which opened up to the kitchen and had a great view of the street below.

Her business was something she had been working at for years. She spent nearly six days a week on it. Researching new stock, going through inventory, speaking with clients, and traveling and trading. She liked how peaceful it was. She spent most days behind the counter, speaking with people who passed in through her store, making phone calls, and unpacking delivery's. There was really no headaches about it, she had a certain order about things and she enjoyed her work.

The truth was, ever since Dean and her fell apart years ago, when they were fighting and spending more time apart than anything else, depression hit. She regretted this of course but knew that no matter what that the truth of the matter was, they followed their hearts instead of their minds. Both were far too young and too much alike to really make it work. Both fought like cats and dogs, started sleeping around, and barley saw each other before going their own ways. Now besides hearing from each other here and there, mostly with Bobby being the in-between, they were more strangers than anything else.

Lucy slid off her jeans, just as Dean had the night before. Taking her shirt off she laid in her bra and knew she better take a shower. Instead she just felt exhausted, no longer wired from the drive. Depression had hit her and as she laid there she heard the old grandfather clock from downstairs ticking away. Thinking of Dean she sighed and laid her head up against Joe who put his strong muscular arm around her.

"Yeah."

"Everything all right?"

Joe asked in a sleepy Texas draw. Lucy smiled, she had told Joe very little about her past, only that she was adopted and that Bobby took her in when she was very young and raised her after his wife died. She explained very little about Dean, in fact all she said was that she had been married once and both separated years ago and hadn't heard from each other. Lucy told Joe to mind the shop for her while she drove over to Bobby's since he had been feeling ill lately. Of course she knew this was no way to base a relationship off with lies, but the truth was no normal person could understand her life. In fact she did this to keep the few people she knew still around.

"Yeah, I think I'll be seeing Bobby in another week or two but he seems much better."

"That's good sweetheart..."

Joe said before drifting back into sleep. Lucy smiled in the thin darkness of the bedroom before silently playing with her wedding ring and praying that somewhere...someway there would be a way to help Dean.

_**Two weeks later... **_

Joe had wanted to come with her but Lucy asked him if he didn't mind skipping this trip since he was only staying a day or so to check in on Bobby before heading back. Joe as always didn't question and said he would watch the store. Lucy of course felt thankful she had such a wonderful man in her life who was so understanding...yet she felt guilty that she was hiding so much from him and often compared him to Dean.

She hadn't heard from much Bobby's end besides making a phone call and asking if she could ride down that weekend and see him. These two two weeks she had buried himself into her work, trying anything not to think of what was happening.

Bobby had welcomed her with a smile and hug and brought her into the kitchen where he poured them drinks. He explained that Sam and Dean had been off hunting, in fact he had just helped them with a case just a few days ago. Both were traveling from town to town trying to hunt down whatever had been released the night the yellow eyed demon had been killed.

Lucy looked around the house, the same house she had grown up in. The house that held so many memories for her, most of them good. She did remember John dragging her and Dean back to Bobby's shortly after they broke the news of getting married, and how Bobby paced back and forth calling them both every name in the book. Still, looking around Lucy couldn't help but smile.

Sighing, Bobby looked across the table at her.

"You left in a hurry after everything happened, mind explaining?"

Lucy thought for a second, sliding her glass in between her hands before looking up. Sighing she shrugged.

"I guess I was scared."

"Scared of what?"

"That Dean really went ahead and made a deal. I mean the proof was right in front of me after Sam woke back up, but I honestly never believed such a thing was possible...I mean really possible. It all happened so fast. Believe me, I'm not saying I feel guilty not stopping him or trying to reason, we all know Dean...he would have been good as dead with Sammy gone. It's just...I guess reality hitting. I know you and Sam are trying to figure out some way to get him out of this but I saw it in his eyes Bobby...if anyone can read him better than Sam it's me. I know he's scared if he tries to find a way...Sammy will drop dead, and that terrifies him. So in less than a year, he'll go to hell...and I guess it just hit me that no matter what happens...Dean is going to die."

"Lucy..."

Lucy sighed and went on, cutting Bobby off.

"If this is indeed his last year, I didn't want to get in his way. John and you were right...we were too young and way too stupid. I mean I love Dean, I always will...but you saw how it got between us. We never did act like a normal couple. I mean I would die for him, and I very well believe he would do the same for me...but after so much time and after everything that's happened, if this is in fact his last year to be alive, I'm not holding him back. We haven't acted like a married couple in years so why start now? It wouldn't be real...let him be with his brother, let him do what he does best and only knows...let him hunt, let him save people, let him party, sleep with women, laugh, and have fun. I wish more than anything I was with him now...and I won't lie that we have a special bond towards each other...but I don't want him to feel he needs to act a certain way towards me now that his life is on a wound up clock...and that time will one day run out."

Bobby stared at her before Lucy shrugged.

"I can't really explain myself any further than that...I just want him to be happy, that's all."

Nodding, Bobby warmly smiled

"You and Dean are more alike then you will never know."

Sighing, Lucy stared down at her empty glass and knew Bobby was right.

_**Three weeks later...**_

Lucy sat in the middle of the store unpacking some boxes that just came in. Sitting in jeans and a faded T-shirt, her hair was held back in a bandana as she sorted through the packages and marked off what she had. On the counter the radio played softly as she enjoyed her peaceful Sunday afternoon. The one day the store was closed.

She had begun thinking of maybe expanding the store. At the moment all she sold were rare antiques, but part of her thought that maybe if she changed things up a little bit the regular tourist and high clientele wouldn't be the only ones shopping here.

For a brief period of time she had thought about turning it into one of those magic and spell shops you would see around Salem Mass. A place where you would buy crystal balls, candles, and spells on the back of playing cards.

But at the moment Lucy liked how the store was. She liked her time alone, and best of...she liked that there was little to no excitement. The only thing that was even close to looking magic in this store was the devil's trap she had painted on the floorboards shortly after she moved in upstairs under her bed. She couldn't really explain why she did it, but felt much safer with it there.

Joe had been working double shifts lately and he promised he would be by tomorrow.

Listening to silly love songs by Wings, she hummed along when the phone rang. Getting up, she walked over to the counter and leaned over before picking it up.

"Hello curious goods?"

There was no answer.

Waiting Lucy raised an eyebrow.

"Hello?"

Nothing.

Lucy was about to hang up when she paused. Taking a second she held the phone and thought she heard very faintly over the line light breathing. This was breathing she knew very well.

"Dean?"

There was still no answer. Frowning, Lucy played with the cord for a moment before pausing, for a moment she was going to hang up again when she could see Dean standing in some phone booth hundred of miles away. Standing there with one hand shoved in his front pocket of his jeans. Leaning against the glass while Sammy was either inside the motel sleeping or at some diner finishing up an early lunch.

She could see him clear as day, standing there in his brown leather jacket, a frown on his face as he stood there just holding the phone, so badly wanting to say something but unable. Standing on the opposite end of the line, Lucy stood there for a moment wanting to talk to Dean more than ever at this exact moment. Sighing she leaned against the counter.

"You okay Dean?"

There was no answer. Waiting for a moment Lucy sighed and looked around the store where her unpacked boxes sat piled around. Reaching over and slightly turning down her radio she brushed back a few of her fallen bangs before faintly smiling.

"Caught me in the middle of unpacking some new inventory for the store, been busy all week with it. Nice to have the place closed up for the day though. I've been getting these awful headaches lately so it's nice just to turn the sign over to closed and listen to some music and space out."

There wasn't any noise from the other end but Lucy knew well enough that he was listening. Feeling as comfortable as if was talking to a very good and old friend face to face she continued to talk as she paced near the counter, running her finger across the surface knowing she needed to dust..

"The business hours have been working out pretty good for me. Bobby is going to have me check out a double murder across the city in a few days, besides that things have been pretty slow. Been listening to some really weird radio station, they play all the classics, nice to clean up and do stock to...I'm sure people can see me through the front windows though singing like an idiot."

She thought she heard very faintly on the other end of the phone a soft laugh before she smiled.

"Besides that just keeping the store up, been a little tired and I've had a lot on my mind but I saw Bobby not to long ago, he ways you and Sammy have been traveling around, I'm sure you two have found enough trouble to last you guys..."

Faintly smiling she leaned against the counter.

"I guess I don't need to go into why I left last time I saw you so quickly...I just hope you've been taking care of yourself and living life exactly as you should. I miss you...been thinking a lot of that night you're father brought us back to Bobby's...weren't we young and stupid?"

Lucy sighed thinking before she went on.

"I've been praying for you lately...if anyone needs them it's you. I hope that there's something...someway I can help or figure something out...there's gotta be a way Dean, don't sell yourself short. You've always been an amazing brother Sam...and you were...while it lasted at least a good husband to me...I just hope you're not living with any regret. I hope you've been having some fun as well...but then again its you we're talking about."

Lucy lightly laughed before sighing, sunlight was pouring through the front bay windows making tiny bits of golden floating dust float around.

Just then Lucy saw Joe's truck pull up in front of the store. He had mentioned swinging by quickly to drop off a few things. Frowning, Lucy knew she needed to make this call short. Sighing she leaned back.

"Listen Dean, I need to go...but anytime you feel this way...which is either upset or confused..."

Lucy caught herself faintly smiling again as she shook her head.

"I guess that's at least how I think you might be doing...just give me a call or come see me. I'm not much company nor can I do much...but I'm here to talk to if you need somebody...I would like to see you again...honest."

There was a pause before Lucy shook her head.

"I guess I've raddled off long enough...well...bye Dean."

There was a pause before finally Dean's voice filled the other end of the line, it was soft and low...

"Bye Lucy doll..."

Lucy faintly smiled before nodding, there really wasn't much else to say. She wondered if she had said too much but maybe this was for the best. She had a feeling there were going to be more phone calls just like this phone over the next few months, and as much as she wanted there wasn't anything she could do to help him. Instead she knew she would be his comfort, as she had been for so long before. Even if the calls came at three in the morning, she would be there to listen and at least me another person to listen to whenever he needed it. Hanging the phone up, she stared at it and wanted more than ever to know where he was at this exact moment. Sighing she stared at the phone before walking down the steps to the front door and opened it for Joe. The bell above rang lightly above the door as she opened up and welcomed Joe with a friendly smile.

"Hey babe, mind helping me with these?"

Joe asked as he juggled them in his arms.

_**Somewhere else...**_

Lucy was right about where she thought Dean was. He was in fact inside a phone booth just outside of a small motel. Sammy was resting inside the room they rented out,and Dean who had said something about grabbing a bite to eat had really lied and headed straight to the phone booth. He had gotten Lucy's store number a few years ago from his father and always kept it.

He had just visited Lisa, on what he expected honestly to be a carefree fun weekend of non stop sex. Instead Sam and him as always found something else and now two more people were opened up to the ugly and horrible world that was really under the surface. Dean knew he was stupid to have thought that Lisa honestly would be the same exact person he had known all those years ago. This was of course when Lucy and him weren't together...thinking of it now they were barley ever together as a so called married couple. Dean and her had just begun fighting and were living their own life's.

Dean had shacked up with Lisa and had honestly never forgot it.

Now she was a mother, with a little boy named Ben who...

Dean shook his head, how could he have even thought that? Lisa had made it clear to him that Ben wasn't is, and he couldn't help but feel a tiny pang of guilt when he learned that. He felt so sure about it and was scared to see that he had almost hoped for it to be true.

Lucy and him had never spoken about children, they had good reason to seeing that they were in fact children themselves when they married. Dean never saw himself as the type to settle down and start a family. After seeing what happened to his parents, he knew that sort of life would never be within reach for him. Besides one quick scare with Lucy years ago when she was a few weeks late, children had never been brought up before.

He had seen the hope in Lisa's eyes and remembered how amazing she had been. Part of him had in fact wanted to stay, but knew it was impossible to stay in their life's. Most of all now. No, he didn't belong there and he knew it.

Driving back, Dean had thought about that a lot and began thinking about Lucy. Maybe there was a real reason he didn't even try to stay with Lisa and Ben an extra day. Maybe it was because no matter how much he wanted to try...Lisa wasn't Lucy.

He needed to talk to her more than ever, but when he dialed, he found himself unable to speak.

Instead she had spoken to him, somehow knowing it was him. Just the sound of her smoky voice coming across the line, sounding so soft and kind. It was a comfort to him just to hear her before hanging up.

She was alone, and he wanted to be with her more then ever.

Sighing he played with his wedding band and decided to make a promise to himself. He could wait half a month, make a few more calls and see what happened, if he decided it was enough he would stop and let it be.

But if he felt just even the slightest pang from their brief time together, he would try to make her understand how badly he did in fact miss and love her and how he could never forgive himself for letting himself go to hell without telling her how he felt.

Sighing, he rubbed his face and walked back to the motel room.

_**1996**_

"WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU TWO IGGITS THINKING?"

Dean and Lucy sat side by side on Bobby's couch in his den looking ashamed and keeping their eyes down to the wooden planks of the floorboards. John leaned against one of the walls, drinking from a handle and looking beyond exhausted. Bobby meanwhile looked as if he was ready to kill someone.

Dean held Lucy's hand and gave it a comforting squeeze when Bobby's voice out louder. This was the first time in years both had seen him so angry. The last time was when he tripped while hunting with them and John two years back and nearly firing his gun into the back of John.

"Bobby listen..."

Dean began when Bobby shook his head.

"How old are you two? You!"

He pointed to Lucy.

"You just turned fourteen, going into high school...barley a little girl, and you Dean...you just turned what eighteen? Does that suddenly make you an adult? Do you know that you could be held with rape Dean? Lucy is underage and since you now since your some adult..."

He cut himself off mumbling and shaking his head, his face getting bright red. He had taken Lucy in for something to live for. Him and his wife had always planned on starting a family but never got around to doing it. Lucy seemed like something he needed as his depression and drinking got worse and worse. It seemed like the only two things he had going for him was the junkyard and hunting. Once Lucy came it brought a bit of life back into that big old house of his. She was sharp, kind, and very alert. For her age she was a good hunter and never took stupid risks. He taught her as much as he could, making up for what happened to her.

It was nice to feel like he had a daughter.

But he had begun to notice as the years quickly passed by that she was maturing faster than he thought. She was starting high school and got a small part time down down the road. Her body was filling out and taking shape and he knew it was not to long before he would have to start worrying more about her going off hunting.

Still, she was just a kid.

"That's it, we're going..."

John mumbled setting the handle down. Dean looked up, wide eyed.

"What?"

"We're going back to the motel, I've driven half the night and I need to crash, besides Sammy is waiting for us."

Sammy was sleeping in the back seat of the Impala, not really aware of how bad things were going inside.

"Dad..."

"Don't dad me Dean. I've always never had to worry about you...always thought you were smart enough to do the right thing..."

"Dad, I love her..."

Bobby snorted and shook his head before John walked over.

"You get your ass into this car, we have a job to do three states over tomorrow afternoon and I sure as hell don't want to drive with this kind of headache."

Dean felt his blood pressure go up, staring at his father's sad bloodshot eyes he wanted to yell that maybe he wouldn't have a headache if he stopped drinking, or maybe he was just mad because he saw him moving on, being able to find some happiness and love...that not everyone was dead inside like him.

But he didn't, he had too much respect for him.

"Dad, please..."

He said in a lower voice. John's brow wrinkled shaking his head.

"We're going, let's go."

Bobby folded his arms.

"I got some jobs lined up on the West coast, I think I'll be taking Lucy along with me..."

Lucy looked up, panic in her eyes.

"But Bobby I got school and..."

Bobby shook his head.

"Sorry hun, if you're old enough to get married then you know the score. I think we need to separate you two for a bit for everyone to cool down...once we make some sense of this we can talk."

"But..."

"NOW DEAN!"

John snapped turning and walking out of the room. Lucy stared up at Bobby with hurt eyes before he shook his head and left for the kitchen. Now alone, Lucy burst into tears before Dean put his arm around her.

"Shhh...it's all right."

Lucy kept crying before Dean held her, the Impala horn began to sound outside.

"Let's just go, we'll run away together Dean...we don't need this."

Lucy said in between sobs, her cheeks running with tears. Biting his bottom lip Dean shook his head.

"I can't...Sammy..."

"He could come with us, please Dean...this isn't right."

Dean held onto her, staring into her tear filled eyes before shaking his head.

"I'm sorry..."

Kissing her forehead he frowned before Lucy pushed away and got up and ran for the stairs. Dean stood up watching her before saying softly...

"I'm sorry..."

Walking out, his boots clicking against the floor, he took one last glance at the house before getting into the car. Sam sat in the backseat in total silence. John stared at him for a moment before sighing.

"I'm sorry son, but this isn't the time for any of this..."

Dean didn't say anything, instead he just stared down at his hands and his new wedding band. John caught this before putting the car into gear and sighed.

_**Present**_

It was Christmas eve.

They had just killed the pagan gods and were now spending their evening in front of the TV watching the game and drinking some very hard egg nog enjoying the silence and company.

The reality that Dean's time was slowly slipping away was becoming a reality. Depression kept crashing over the two brothers like ocean waves, and for the first time ever it showed how alone the two of them really were. It had begun to snow and both caught themselves cheering to the game and even laughing.

Dean not even thinking of it played with his wedding band before thinking of Lucy.

He had called a few more times, every once in a while after a bad hunt or when he really started thinking about what was happening. He didn't exactly want to call them panic attacks, but he had been hiding how scared he was from Sam. He never once wanted Sam to feel guilty about what had happened. He was doing exactly what John had taught him to do which was to protect his brother no matter what.

Now this was his last Christmas.

Looking out at the snow he smiled, remembering some distant memory. Looking at Sam he smirked.

"Hey, I'll be right back...gotta get some ice from the machine outside for the egg nog."

Sam held his glass and smiled.

"Trying to water it down huh bitch?"

Dean smiled and rolled his eyes.

"Jerk..."

Getting up he grabbed his leather coat and walked out. The second the cold air hit him it seemed to relax every inch of his body. He hadn't seen snow in a while, mostly because whenever winter hit Sam and him would take jobs on the West coast. Smiling he looked up at the pinkish sky and watched as thick snowflakes fell on the Impala.

Walking over, he opened the passenger door and sat down. Opening the glove box he took out his cell and looked up again at the snow smiling.

He dialed and waited.

After three rings it answered.

"Hello?"

Dean smiled, if he ever wanted to talk to somebody at this exact moment more than anything...it was her.

_**Chicago**_

Lucy and Joe had been arguing.

He had invited her down to Texas for the holidays to see his family. Lately the two of them had been fighting a good deal since Joe claimed he felt distance between the two.

Lucy had been working at the store six days a week and her last hunt had been nearly a month ago. She had slowed down a great deal and couldn't really explain why she just wanted to be left alone.

Joe and her had been laying in bed three days before when he stared at her, hiked up on one elbow and looking down as she laid there, her mind somewhere else.

"What's the matter hun?"

He asked in his thick Texas draw.

Lucy sighed before shaking her head.

"Nothing..."

She knew what he had wanted to do if she had flown down to visit his family. She had seen the ring box in his bag a few weeks before and it scared her. As much as she liked Joe, she knew that was a road she honestly could never see herself going down.

She just wanted to be left alone, that was the honest truth.

This evening she had made a nice fire for herself and was drinking coffee and reading as a pretty good snow storm raged outside. Joe and her had been arguing before he left and part of her now felt guilt. She knew she wasn't doing this because of Dean. In fact reality of what was going to happen was getting more and more clear...but the truth was Lucy felt drained these last few months.

She liked being tucked away at her little store, nobody to bother her. She liked the silence and the peace and her headaches were becoming less and less.

Dean had called a few more times since the first one. She was sure there were a few more times that she hadn't been in. Thankfully Joe hadn't been around for any of them. At first she thought it was stupid, that she wasn't going to stick around talking to complete silence on the other line whenever he needed to feel better.

But as she thought about it more and more she knew that his time was running out, that his end wasn't going to be silence or peace.

It was going to be hell.

Her husband, a man who she honestly hadn't really thought of what way in so long, a man who she had pretty much grown up with and had fallen in love with was going to die and go to hell.

She wanted to say so many things, but didn't want to get in the way, so the best she could offer was just to talk to him whenever he called. The calls never lasted long, she usually would talk about the store, the few hunts she had been on, and whatever boring thing was going on in her life, as if she was talking to an old friend and just catching up.

She never asked about him since she knew she wouldn't get an answer.

Finally she would say...

"And I guess that's it."

And he would always say...

"All right, goodnight Lucy doll."

And they would hang up. Always after one of these calls Lucy felt like crying, she couldn't explain it but knew that when the day finally did come when he was taken, she would never feel the same again.

The phone rang and Lucy put the marker in her book. The fire was cracking and popping and felt nice and warm against her as she curled up on the small sofa. She had called Bobby earlier, he was spending the holiday with Ellen and Joe. He had invited her to come down but she made the same excuse she told Joe saying her head had been hurting and she just wanted to spend the holidays relaxing alone.

Bobby could sense something was the matter, but didn't ask.

Sighing, Lucy picked up the phone.

"Hello?"

There was silence on the other end, right away Lucy knew it was him. Sighing again she sat up a little bit on the sofa watching the fire.

"Hey Dean..."

She heard him softly breathing.

"Merry Christmas Dean...God knows where you and Sam are but I hope you two are okay and have had at least a decent meal tonight. That's the thing you have to say about all of us...we never take the time to celebrate anything, feels too...normal."

She softly laughed.

"I'm just at my store. I called Bobby, he's spending the holiday with Ellen and Jo. I decided to stay here and just enjoy the peace. We got a pretty bad snow storm over here, streets are going to be a wreck...is it snowing where you are?"

There was silence and she smirked.

"I'll take a guess then...well besides that I've just been laying in front of the fire reading..."

She paused and softly smiled, there was so much more she wanted to say, instead his voice came over the line.

"Merry Christmas Lucy doll...I love you."

Lucy faintly smiled.

"I love you too Dean."

There was a click and he was gone. Sighing, Lucy held the phone for a moment before setting it back down in the cradle. Laying back she held her book and watched the fire, hoping wherever he was, he was happy and with Sam.


	7. Chapter 7

_**1998**_

"Dean!"

Lucy yelled as he spun around holding a sawed off shotgun in one hand and a flashlight in the other. They were both in Amity New York investigating the world famous Amityville horror house. At the moment it was in between owners, the last people who owned it claimed they were sick of people trespassing whenever another movie came out. Just a week ago Bobby had contacted John saying he had a feeling that three so called 'accidents' that had taken place since the house was put up for sale had something to do with the house.

John pondered this for a while, it was nearly clear that the whole story the novel and movies were based off was a fake. There had been investigations and ever since the murders of the original family back in the early 70's there hadn't been any deaths.

Yet, in just a short span of time a repair man had fallen down a flight of stairs and broke his neck. The mail man had accidentally ran himself over with his own truck while dropping off mail, and a young woman drowned in the river and her body had washed up on the shore in front of the house.

After a little research Bobby discovered that they were planning on remodeling the entire house and maybe if there was anything laying in a deep slumber at the house it was being woken up, disturbed that they were trying to change the original plans of the house.

John had joked that the owners should just be smart and turn it into a tourist trap and make it into a bed and breakfast where they should rig things up like a haunted house. Bobby had laughed over this and then asked if he didn't mind coming over since nobody had been staying at the house for nearly four months while it was on the market.

John originally wanted to but a lead caught him off guard dealing with a demon in New Mexico. John wanted to bring Sam along but knew Bobby would need all the help he could get. Asking Dean, he quickly said yes and right before he let him borrow the Impala, he made him promise to be careful. Things had been all right between John and Dean. There really wasn't any arguments after the night with Lucy happened. John sensed Dean was unhappy but they never came right out and talked about it. Less than a few months later, John caught Dean in the backseat of the Impala with a local girl and he had to laugh.

"So you think you could handle being a married man?"

He asked Dean the next morning. Dean looked ashamed and just shrugged before John shook his head.

Bobby and him spoke a lot, dropping hits to each other on the phone. John had asked how Lucy was doing and Bobby said fine. She sulked for the first month or so, refusing to talk to him and finally started to come around again. She was in school, busy than ever and helping him on a lot of hunts. He explained that she was seeing a few different boys and appearing to be enjoying herself. That's when John and Bobby both knew they hadn't done much damage in keeping the two of them apart.

They were just kids and had in a way all ready forgotten each other.

But they were wrong. Even if they did date and sleep with different people, even though they flirted, and hunted, and went about their life's...they still wore their wedding bands and thought about each other nearly every night before drifting off to sleep.

Dean was going to meet up at Bobby's where they would ride up to Amity together. Dean remembered back when he was younger, the first year or so Lucy had been staying at Bobby's the two used to rent some Amityville movies and watch them together in the darkness of the den laughing. In fact the two of them snuck into the movies back in 1992 watching one of the many sequels which was about a cursed clock from the house. Somehow watching these movies made it seem funny to them. They knew what real horror was like and seeing it be pretend on the big screen seemed nothing less than amusing.

Dean had been nervous of course, besides hearing a little from her he hadn't seen Lucy since that night. Since then he had been living like he usually did and wondered if she was doing the same. John mentioned she was but he didn't know if he could believe him.

This was the third time he was borrowing the Impala which made him even more nervous. John had been doing a lot of his traveling other ways so nobody could really follow the car. He had developed a trust with Dean over the car that he had owned since before he was even born, and mentioned a few times that one day he would give it to him.

Dean loved driving it, as silly as it sounded it made him feel just like his dad sitting behind the wheel. Listening to music, he drove the back highways tapping his fingers against the wheel and wondering if Lucy would be around for this.

She was.

In fact she answered the door when he finally pulled up a little after seven that night. He was tried from the drive but couldn't help the weird twisting nervous feeling that kept fluttering in his stomach. He knocked on the door and waited before it answered.

Lucy stood there.

She looked beautiful. Her long dark hair was done up in a ponytail and she wore short cut off jean shorts and a tight T-shirt that showed off her deep Autumn tan and Nicole shaped body. She wore eye makeup and her lips never looked so pink and full before. She seemed stunned when she answered the door.

"Dean..."

She softly said, her eyes staring at him.

Dean smiled.

"Hey Lucy doll."

For a moment both felt embarrassed ans both of their eyes went to their left hands. The wedding bands were still on. Nervously, Dean tried to smile again before Lucy stood on her tip toes and wrapped her arms around his neck pulling him in for a close hug.

"Nice to see you..."

She said into his ear as she held him. Putting his arms around her he smiled, never feeling so welcome before in his whole life.

Bobby stepped forward rolling his eyes.

"All right, enough of that love birds..."

Dean and Lucy drew apart, embarrassed as their eyes tried to avoid each other. Bobby stared at the two of them closely before telling them to come into the kitchen.

That evening they talked over a few beers and the dinner Lucy had spent all day making. If it was one thing Dean missed more than anything it was Lucy's cooking. She had been half way good when she was little and now had developed to be an amazing cook. Dean had himself nearly four helpings of dinner and kept winking at Lucy as she served whenever Bobby wasn't looking. Each time she smiled, her cheeks turning slightly red.

He couldn't believe how gorgeous she looked.

Finally they sat down and talked. Dean told them that his father and Sam were doing good and on a hunt. Bobby mentioned the jobs he had been doing and what Lucy had been helping with. Lucy was currently in high school and working double shifts at the diner down the road. Bobby was looking into getting her a car soon.

He watched her closely, she didn't say much and simply just sat there. Bobby made it a point to mention that Lucy had also been seeing a few boys around town. Lucy met Dean's eyes once slightly ashamed but Dean didn't judge. He was just as guilty.

Bobby went into the case and what he wanted to do. They would break in and make sure there wasn't anything living there before blessing the house and getting out. That night Bobby made up the couch for Dean and long after he went to sleep, Lucy snuck downstairs.

Sitting down beside him, Lucy was wearing gym shorts and an old T-shirt. Her hair was down and she looked beautiful as moonlight poured in through the windows. Dean couldn't sleep and almost half expected her to come down when she did. Both sat in silence for a while before Lucy smirked.

"So...what's new?"

Dean laughed before brushing back her bangs.

"Guess the whole marriage thing didn't work out huh?"

Lucy stared at him before holding the sides of his face, firmly as she stared into his green eyes.

"We could have tried a little harder to stay together, but I understand you had to do what was right with your father. We were really stupid to do what we did...but does that mean giving up?"

Dean sighed.

"Lucy, I'll be honest with you...something we promised each other years ago...I haven't been a saint. I missed you like hell, but with all this traveling around, there's been women..."

"And there's been men."

Dean raised an eyebrow, before Lucy smiled, tilting her head to the side.

"I'm not a whore Dean..."

"Hey I wasn't..."

Lucy leaned forward and kissed Dean softly on the lips before smirking.

"Maybe if we prove ourselves on this hunt...maybe we can work something out. I mean it isn't impossible..."

"Lucy doll...our life's...we're never around and..."

"Hey if you don't want to I'll throw my ring in the trash right now, it's really up to you."

Dean sat there for a moment as Lucy let go of his face and smiled, thinking for a moment Dean smiled.

"Hey, it's worth a shot huh?"

Lucy smiled.

That night they snuck up to Lucy's room and tried to be as silent as possible before having sex. Twice Dean mentioned maybe they should have gone out to the car as Lucy tossed her head back and had to hold back from crying out. Shortly before dawn Dean snuck back down and pretended he had spent the whole night on the couch when Bobby woke the next morning.

The drive up to Amity wasn't weird or strange, in fact every time Dean glanced back in the rear view mirror he caught Lucy smiling at him.

Now here they were, they had broken in and Bobby was in the basement. A spirit had come out of the walls and was charging towards Dean when Lucy called out. Dean spun around just in time as Lucy grabbed an iron fire poker and swung at the image with all her might. The spirit screamed before disappearing right before it clawed Dean's throat out. Standing there, out of breath Dean nervously laughed before Lucy smiled at him in the darkness, Just then an unseen force grabbed Lucy and made her fall force forward hard against the wooden floors. Dean's eyes widened as the unseen force tightly grabbed Lucy by the ankles and began to drag back wards along the hallway. Lucy looked up right before she was pulled backwards, her eyes huge and scared.

"DEAN!"

She screamed before the force dragged her at full speed down the hallway, her nails trying to grab onto the hardwood floors, leaving long scratch marks.

Dean raced after her, leveling his sawed off shotgun with the salt rounds before firing twice and hitting whatever it was. It broke free of Lucy and made a horrible sound before Lucy was let go. Scrambling to her feet she looked around before Dean's arm was around her.

"You all right?"

Lucy nodded as a horrible howling came from within the walls.

Once Bobby came upstairs they all read from the journal and poured salt and holy water all around the property. Before leaving Bobby had laughed and shook both of their shoulders saying they made a great team. Looking at each other they couldn't help but smile, they knew he was right.

Dean stuck around a few extra days, Bobby was looking into a second hand jeep from 1987 for Lucy and Dean helped make sure it was in working order. The evening after Amityville he was trying his hardest to teach Lucy stick shift on the Impala. He couldn't help but laugh as she struggled driving in circles around the junk yard. By the end of the night Dean was laughing so hard he was nearly crying.

He helped Bobby fix up and jeep and said he might be leaving next week. The truth was, he wanted to stay. Making the jeep the best it could be, and making sure the engine was safe he enjoyed making something nice for her. He wanted her to be safe no matter what and enjoyed their time together as he taught her in the Impala which gear to shift to. Once or twice their hands grazed each other and Dean couldn't help but feel like a little kid again.

Finally the time came that he would have to get going. Not really wanting to, he made sure the jeep looked it's best high polished and ready for driving before pacing his things up. Bobby had mentioned he had called his father earlier and told him what an amazing job him and Lucy had done. Dean felt proud for the first time in years but also felt guilty. This meant he would have to leave soon, which would leave Lucy alone as well.

The night before he was planning on leaving he made a plan and asked her to talk. The two of them went down to the lake and sat on the docks. Both were straight with each other about how the odds were against then, yet if there was any way they would somehow try their hardest to make it possible. They decided even if they had to be apart, they would find a happy medium and try out this whole married thing once and for all. Even though they were still young, Dean was an adult and was always doing anything to make his father happy.

Now after all these years all he wanted was Lucy.

"I'll go with you."

Lucy decided, the two of them sitting on the dock that over looked the lake. It was fall now and all the trees surrounding the lake looked gorgeous in their different shades of red, orange, and gold. The night was settling in and it appeared that there were a million stars in the sky.

A chill had blown over the air and Dean took off his leather jacket and put it over Lucy's shoulders.

Dean looked at her when she said this and raised an eyebrow.

"What?"

"I could go with you...we would drive back together and just tell your father the truth, we really want to give it a try."

"But you have school..."

"I'm not like everyone else there, you of all people know that...I'm different."

"And and your almost done, it isn't worth it just blowing off all this hard work for nothing."

Lucy smiled half amused.

"Dean, the voice of reason...never thought I would see that."

Dean warmly smiled rubbing the side of her arm.

"Hell if I somehow did it you can, trust me. Maybe I can talk to my dad...I could stay here and help Bobby..."

Lucy shook her head.

"No, he needs you...I can all ready tell Sam has been giving him a hard time."

Dean sighed looking out at the lake.

"Yeah, they haven't exactly been getting along..."

"No, what we just need to do is wait. Letting you go on this hunt shows that your father and Bobby trust me. I think they honestly want this to just be some stupid thing some kids did...but this hunt proved at least Bobby wrong. I'm sure he'll need more help and so won't you're father...we'll be crossing paths again and I'm sure John will start hunting around here and need a place to stay, we'll see each other more and more and before you know it I'll be done with school and I can be with you. Maybe we can start hunting on our own..."

Dean smiled.

"You really think we can make this work? I mean it's us."

Lucy laughed.

"If we love each other we can?"

Dean smirked before looking out at the water.

"Hey, wanna take a dip?"

Lucy looked out at the darkness of the water and turned back to Dean as if he was crazy.

"It's freezing."

"No, you'll be fine."

Dean pulled off his jacket from Lucy in a flash and wrapped his arms around her. Lucy's eyes widened before he threw them both off into the ice cold water. Before they hit the still surface Lucy screamed and the two of them splashed in.

The water hit them like a million icy knifes and both broke the surface gasping for air. Dean laughed as Lucy's hair was dripping wet in her face as she shook and struggled to reach back up for the dock.

"You dick!"

Dean laughed and splashed Lucy before she splashed him even harder back.

By the time they reached Bobby's, Dean put his jacket back onto Lucy and both walked into the living room soaking wet and freezing. Bobby meanwhile had kicked his feet up in front of the fire and stared at them with a very puzzled expression.

"What in the hell?"

Dean and Lucy stood side by side laughing before walking back out to the porch.

"You cold?"

Dean asked before Lucy stuck her tongue out at him.

"Yeah no thanks to you."

Dean laughed rubbing the sides of her arms before leaning down and softly kissing her. Lucy opened her mouth against his before reaching up and running her hand through his wet hair.

"I'll see you again soon?"

Dean stared down at her and nodded before kissing her once more.

Smiling, he kissed her forehead and then winked at her.

"I'll see you soon Lucy doll..."

Turning he went down the steps, leaving his leather jacket on her. Turning once more he smiled and waved, his breath coming out in the chilly air like small clouds before grinning and getting into the Impala. Staring the engine his radio began to play and he waved as she watched him from the porch. Driving down the road he felt a small tug on his heart knowing he was leaving her, but knew whenever he came back...she would be waiting for him.

_**Present**_

Dean didn't want to die.

He didn't want to do to hell.

This past year had gone by far too quickly, now his time was running out and the reality was hitting him harder than ever. There would be no peace or comfort when he finally went...he was going into the pit and he was terrified. Remembering that exhausted and sad look on his father's face the last time he saw him alive, his heart raced in his chest. He was doing exactly what he did, but there would be no escape for him.

He was going to die.

Ruby had made it clear to him, within time the real Dean Winchester wouldn't exist. He would become what he hated most, what killed his mother, and what his family had hunted for years. His soul couldn't be saved and there was no getting out of it. He would die and go to hell and life would move on.

But at least Sammy would be okay.

That was all that mattered.

So much regret filled him as the time got closer and closer. That time Bobby was trapped in a coma and they went into their dreams, he first saw Lisa at a picnic, saying they had time before picking up Ben. This puzzled him as he watched before Lisa looked down for a moment and then looked back up. Instead of her he saw Lucy, smiling.

"Hi Dean..."

Sam looked at him and Dean gulped, embarrassed.

"I swear I've never dreamed this before..."

But the truth was he had.

He had been thinking about Lisa and Ben a lot. He liked them a lot, but knew the real reason why he turned down Lisa in the first place. It wasn't because his time was running out and he would be dead soon...it was because of Lucy. If he was going to spend any time with anyone before he was dragged to hell...it would be her.

Now he had less than a week left.

He knew it, he was going to die. No prayers could save him, this was a deal he couldn't get out of.

They had just killed the spirit that was using phones to contact their loved ones. He had been fooled, thinking it was his father trying to contact him, and trying to show him where the demon was that held his contract.

But in the end it was all a lie.

The deal was still on, there was no stopping it.

Before moving on to Pennsylvania, Dean wanted to stop by Chicago. He had wasted enough time, and he had to see her before he died.

_**Chicago **_

Lucy stood up in the living room crying.

Joe and her had just broken up.

She honestly wasn't surprised when it happened. All she had done was lie to him and hide him from her real life. Just two days ago he had gotten down on one knee grinning and opened that tiny little box she had seen a few months before in his bag. She didn't know why he had waited so long but the second she saw it she sighed.

"Damnit Joe..."

Joe looked confused before Lucy sighed.

"I'm sorry Joe...I can't."

They had argued and Joe accused her of nine different things. Finally he told her to go screw herself and grabbed his things in a hurry and left. Lucy stood alone in her store watching his truck peel down the street and everything hit her at once.

What was she doing?

Joe had been beyond kind to her and she liked him a lot. What was she honestly doing? All she did was run this shop, it had taken over her life.

She then thought of Dean.

Why? They never acted this way before? Was it because she knew he was going to die soon? Was she trying to make up for something? Why was she holding onto something when she knew that no matter what he would be dead soon? Why was she throwing her life away and making herself into this lonely bitter woman?

She was now cleaning her bedroom, sweeping the floor. A devil's trap painted and hidden under the bed. Joe hadn't been back to take any of his things and she understood. It had been bad between them and she felt sorry, yet she knew she couldn't lie to herself. How could she marry somebody if she honestly didn't love them? No matter how much she wanted to be normal she knew that would never happen.

Sighing, she looked around her bedroom when she heard the bell downstairs ring above the door. Rolling her eyes she knew she must have left the open sign on the door. Putting the broom down she walked down the stairs ready to tell whoever it was that the store was closed, hoping her puffy red eyes wouldn't give away that she was crying.

Instead she saw him.

He stood there in his jeans, T-shirt and jacket. He stood down below on the floor looking up at her as she stood on the stairs. Both stared at each other for a moment and didn't say a word. Lucy knew his time was almost up, and couldn't believe he was here. Part of her wished he would just stick to calling, she was never great with goodbyes and knowing what was going to happen to him killed her. She honestly didn't think she could look him in the eye.

Yet here he was.

"Hello Lucy doll."

Lucy's face crumbled, she never wanted to see somebody more than she did at this exact moment. Racing down the stairs, skipping two at a time she ran into his arms and held him as tight as she could, not wanting to let him go. Dean held her tightly, smelling her sweet perfume and shampoo, and holding her body close to his as his arms wrapped around her tightly.

Lucy cried against his shoulder as he held her, kissing the top of her head.

"Shhhh, it's okay Lucy doll...I'm here..."


	8. Chapter 8

_**Chicago**_

Dean tried his hardest to block out the visions of the hell hounds coming to get him as he lifted Lucy off the ground. His hands went to her blouse and tore it open, buttons flying and hitting the hardwood floor. He was in a frenzy and couldn't help it, this was making those horrible images in his head become blurry. For the moment he wasn't scared, and his heart pounded loudly in his chest.

He threw her backwards onto the bed, her breasts were plump over filled and spilled out of her black bra. Breathing heavy, he puled his shirt off as she sat up and began to work his belt off, unhooking the buckle and pulling the belt off his jeans.

Feeling his erection pressing against his leg, his head pounded as his pulse seemed go deepen down there. He hadn't felt his way since he was a kid, and knew if he didn't do this soon he wouldn't be able to hold back. Roughly he yanked his fly down and peeled his jeans and boxer briefs down to his ankles. Lucy leaned forward, her hand cupping him and making him stiffen. Sweat rolled down his face as he gently pushed her back as she worked out of her jeans. Watching her undress, he voice kept screaming in his head.

"_This is your only chance! There's no time!"_

Dean got his breathing under control and slowly laid himself down on top of her. Trying not to put all his weight down on her, he hovered above for a moment, his hands on each side of her before pinning her down. His chest squished her breasts as he gently kissed her neck and then stared down at her. Both didn't say anything for a moment, just stared in each others eyes before Dean reached down and took one of her legs, bringing it apart as he positioned himself and after just one adjustment pushed himself down into her.

Lucy stiffened and looked at him, he settled himself in between her legs and for a moment he thought he wasn't going to be able to do this. Staring down he watched as she drew him closer and began to kiss him gently, her tongue flicking against his partly opened lips.

Dean took a deep breath and pumped himself into her for a moment, she laid back as he did so and her full sized bed creaked slightly. Being with Lucy was like being with no other woman. They had both lost their virginity to each other, which seemed like a million years ago. Lucy wasn't like all the women he had picked up at bars and roadhouses. She wasn't just some one night stand, she was...his Lucy doll, and his wife.

Lucy's legs curled up against him as she laid there, closing her eyes as he kissed her neck. Moving slightly, he knew he wouldn't be able to hold off long. He was exhausted and it was getting harder and harder not to think about what was going to happen. Then a crazy thought filled him, it only lasted a moment but nevertheless it was there.

He thought that he should try and get Lucy pregnant.

There had only been one scare in all those times he had been sleeping with her on and off, it only lasted a few days and both breathed a huge sigh of relief when it was proven to be a false alarm. Both knew John and Bobby would have torn them apart.

He thought about Ben, and how strange and wonderful it felt for just a few hours to honestly believe that maybe one of this times his luck had caught up with him and one fling or one night stand resulted in something important. That he left behind something more than just his car.

He looked down at her, if there was anyone he could ever see having a baby with it would be her. But then again he never wanted to be a father, that wasn't in the cards for his life. He had wondered about in as he got older, but knew that wasn't him. He could never settle down and live a normal life. He was a hunter, and deep down inside he was scared that the same thing that happened to his father would happen to him.

Yet he held her tighter before staring down again, he felt her squirming underneath him. He moved again, watching her as she tilted her head back and began to gasp for breath. Feeling her, he suddenly didn't want to be anywhere else. She laid there in the middle of what seemed like a never ending orgasm as she panted as clutched onto him. Dean held her face gently as she began to settle down and stared at him.

"What?"

She panted, half out of breath. Smiling he began to thrust into her before finding a pace. Pumping away, he pinned her down before he felt himself coming close. Burying her head into her shoulder, he took a moment before crying out and snapping his eyes shut.

A moment later it was over.

They laid that way for what seemed like forever before Dean lifted his head. He saw she was flushed and her hair was now a mess, pooled around her on the pillows. Smiling, he leaned down and kissed her before pulling himself out and rolling over. Gathering her into his arms, he protectively held her close.

"You okay?"

She asked, sounding drained.

Dean smiled, he was a little half embarrassed. Usually sex was a little more successful than this. But at this moment he didn't care. He knew that this all year this was what he had wanted, and now regretted not coming to see her sooner. It wasn't just the sex, it was the comfort. Lucy honestly was the only person out there that made him feel safe.

Nuzzling her neck, he kissed her cheek.

"I'm fine...just thinking."

"Dean?"

Dean shook his head.

"Let's not talk about it...I just want to lay there for a bit okay?"

Lucy nodded, laying her head against his chest and listening to his heartbeat.

"All right..."

For nearly five hours they just laid that way, dozing in and out of sleep and laying in her giant comfy bed. They listened to the silence as he held her, both of their naked bodies pressed up against each other as Dean slowly began to think that in just a few days...he would never find comfort again. He didn't want to leave Lucy, he wanted to tell her how much he loved her and how sorry he was. He wanted to tell her how much he loved her and how he would have done anything to be with her.

But none of that mattered right now. He knew no matter what the hell hounds would be taking him and it would be over. He was terrified but knew no matter what happened to him in the pit, he would try to hold onto this memory no matter what. Nothing could take this from him and maybe, just maybe that would keep a little of his human side alive.

Staring down at her, his heart ached. He just wanted her to be happy.

That afternoon finally both began to move. Lucy turned over, smiling softly at him before kissing him. He closed his eyes, putting his hands against her as she kissed his neck and then slowly down to his chest. Gently her tongue danced over his flat stomach before going under the sheets. For a moment Dean didn't know what she was going, but the second it happened his eyes bugged out and he nervously laughed. The last time she did this was years ago in the Impala. Tilting his head back against the headboard, he bit down on his bottom lip and began to laugh.

They made love again after that, this time it was much more successful. Lucy was on top and he sat back, holding her hips and watching him before snapping his eyes shut. When she collapsed against him, she kissed his tattoo and up against to his collar bone.

They showered together, Lucy shampooed his hair gently and lovely before they made love again standing up until the hot steaming water turned icy cold. Going to the sink, drying him off with a large towel, she took a chair from the small kitchen area and brought it in. By then Dean had wrapped the towel around his waist and watched as she she slipped on a short silk robe that showed off her legs.

He felt drained now, but fresh and relaxed. Lucy dug underneath the sink and took out a razor and shaving cream. Dean smiled.

"Going to try and slit my throat and get rid of me?"

Lucy smiled and walked over, putting and extra towel down around his shoulders.

"Don't hold still and I will."

With her small slender hands she poured the shaving cream into them and began to gently pat his face with it. Dean sat back, his hair still dripping wet as she carefully and lovingly shaved him. By the time they were finished Dean was fresh shaven, and Lucy hadn't nicked him once. Feeling his neck and face he smile before she kissed his head and told him to finish drying off.

Changing in the bathroom, Dean caught his reflection once and sighed.

Why hadn't he tried to make things right sooner?

When he came into the kitchen Lucy was making dinner. He offered to help but she forced him to sit down before getting him a beer from the fridge. Sitting down he looked around the small kitchen.

"This place is great Lucy, really..."

Lucy sighed turning the stove on.

"I've tried...I mean I like it since it's a little off the beat and track and let's me have my own hours."

"You've done great with it..."

Lucy smiled and saw Dean notice the mantle across the way. There were photos of her with Bobby, Sam, and himself. One of her and John, one of her sitting on the Impala, one of her with her friends from the city, and one of her and Joe. He stared at the last photograph for a moment or so and decided not to question it.

That evening Lucy made more than enough food and sat across from Dean smiling as he ate. By the time he finished he told her if he ate another bite he would burst. Smiling she stood up and kissed his head saying she was glad. The two of them did the dishes and when they were finished they stood in the kitchen looking at each other.

Dean gently touched the side of her face.

"God I've missed you."

Lucy smiled.

"I've missed you to."

"I'm sorry I didn't come sooner...you have always been so good to be, even after everything. I should have known you were one of a kind."

Lucy smiled.

"Let's not rehash the past, we made mistakes and it's over...regret is just a waste of time."

Dean put his arms around her drawing her close.

"I guess I just wanted to say I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry too."

Dean stared down at her before Lucy sighed.

"There's no way out of this is there?"

Dean shook his head.

"No."

"Are you scared?"

Dean nodded and Lucy pressed her hands against his chest, her eyes filling with tears.

"I wish I could do something..."

Dean smiled, hoping he wouldn't cry either.

"You all ready did Lucy doll...I love you...and I want you to take care of yourself after this. We made our peace and we have plenty of memories good and bad, I just want to let you know...you made me happy, and I want you to be happy to okay?"

Lucy nodded before Dean sighed and brushed back her hair which was tied up and still damp from the shower.

"Keep an eye on Sammy for me?"

He felt himself ready to cry and held back. Lucy nodded before Dean smiled and looked at his left hand.

"I would give this to you now but...I want Sammy to give it to you next time he sees you. I wanna be wearing it if that's okay?"

A silent tear rolled down Lucy's face before she nodded.

"All right."

Dean smiled down at her.

"You made me very happy Lucy...I'll never forget that."

Lucy nodded before Dean smiled.

"You know...legally I don't think our marriage was real back then...and as much as I don't want to make you a widow so soon...I would think to make things right..."

He slowly got down on one knee in front of her, trying to smile as he stared up. Slipping his ring off he looked at her and gave a nervous smile as more tears rolled down her face.

"I want to die knowing I had a wife...someone who loved me...Lucy will you marry me?"

Lucy stared down, tears still running down her face before she smiled and got down on her knees as well. Taking his hands, she squeezed them and kissed him against the lips. All the meanwhile, the grandfather clock downstairs ticked away.

_**2001**_

Lucy parked her jeep in front of the motel Bobby said Dean, John,and Sam was staying. Smiling, she checked herself in the rear view mirror before putting her hair back in a ponytail. Grabbing her bag, she got out and began to walk to the room Bobby said they were staying at. There was a hunt Bobby was sending her on, something he just found out about in the area John and the boys were staying. He was letting her go and try and meet up with them and see if they needed any help.

Lucy liked that Bobby was starting to trust her again and had enjoyed the drive out. Walking down the walkway, she found door number 8 before smiling and knocking on it. Standing back she waited. She had seen Dean this past year three other times. They were all hunts they had worked on together and each time had been wonderful. She knew John had noticed this and had never felt happier.

Sure they didn't act like a married couple, and they barley saw each other...but things were really working out and Lucy knew in no time she would ask Dean if he wanted her to team up for good with them.

The door then answered.

A tall very pretty black woman in just a towel answered the door Lucy stood there puzzled for a moment.

"Oh I'm sorry... must have the wrong room...I was looking for a friend..."

The woman smiled.

"That's okay..."

"Hey babe who is it?"

Lucy then froze.

Dean walked out in just his jeans behind the girl and stared at Lucy in disbelief. Lucy right away looked at him and then the woman before blinking.

"Ummm..."

She couldn't form the right words, right away she turned, feeling beyond embarrassed and started walking away, everything was in a blur for her and she knew if she stood much longer she was going to fall down.

"Lucy! Wait!"

Lucy made it for her keep and struggled with the door handle before Dean ran up behind her, slightly out of breath..

"Whoa Lucy wait!"

Lucy turned, still wide eyed.

"Um, I'm sorry...seems like I caught you in the middle of something..."

Dean shook his head.

"What the hell are you doing here?"

Lucy looked at him.

"Well, I was...coming from for a hunt, Bobby send me...where is your father and brother?"

"Their two towns over investigating that old farm house, Jesus Lucy I'm sorry...I had no idea."

Lucy held up her hands.

"Hey, it's all right...listen I better go."

"Lucy..."

Lucy felt guilty. As much as they had tried the whole married thing it really wasn't working. They had only seen each other a few times, which didn't last more than a couple of days. Most of which they were hunting. They of course were beyond sweet to each other when they did see each other, but most of the time they were apart they were living different life's. Lucy had dated a few more guys but it hadn't been serious, and she knew Dean was no saint either. Both decided that until they could finally be together they would keep in casual, which wasn't really working out that good.

Lucy shook her head.

"I should have called first..."

"Lucy that girl..."

"Dean I don't wanna know. Listen there's nothing to be guilty about...we talked about this and it's all good...I'm just gonna head up to Bobby's..."

Dean frowned.

"Lucy..."

"Bye Dean..."

Lucy knew if she stuck around much longer she would say something stupid or let her emotions get the best of her and start crying. Grabbing her keys with shaken hands, she ignored him and got in.

"Lucy..."

"Bye Dean..."

Lucy backed the jeep up and as fast as she could drove out of the parking-lot.

_**Present**_

Dean and Lucy laid on the hood on the Impala. Both were in jeans and T-shirts, and old dusty cowboy boots. Dean had his arm around Lucy and they were looking up at the night sky. The Impala was parked outside of city hall.

The city wasn't busy tonight, and the few stars they could see in the sky seemed gorgeous.

"Ah, if my father could see me now."

Dean said smiling. Lucy raised an eyebrow before glancing up at the steps of city hall.

"Was it better than the first time?"

Dean looked at the building and smirked.

"Hell, the first time around we shared a six pack I knocked off...now that was classy."

Lucy laughed before sitting up and looking back and him.

"So I'm now finally legally a Winchester. You sure you made the right choice there buddy?"

Dean smiled sitting up beside her.

"Positive."

Smiling, the two of them kissed before Dean sighed.

"Come on..."

Taking her hand they both slid off the hood.

_**Later...**_

Both stood outside of the store, it was a beautiful windy night and both leaned against the Impala.

Lucy frowned, her hands shoved in the front pockets of her jeans as she stared at him.

"You sure you don't want to stay?"

Dean looked up at the dark store before smiling and shaking his head.

"No, I gotta do this with Sam."

Lucy took her hand out and squeezed his.

"Are you scared?"

Dean stared down at her and nodded, right away tears filed Lucy's eyes.

"I...I...have so many things to say to you..."

Dean shook his head and drew her close before gently kissing her forehead.

"I love you Lucy doll..."

Lucy looked up at him.

"We'll find a way to get you back Dean, I promise."

Dean frowned, knowing this was an empty promise, yet held her as close as he could.

"If there's any way I find a way out of the pit like my dad did, I'll check in on you from time to time..."

Lucy was crying harder now as Dean sighed.

"I wish there was something I could give you but my hands are empty..."

Lucy held onto his hand and brought it up to her lips. Tenderly she kissed his fingers before looking up.

"You were good to me Dean, don't ever forget that."

"I love you Lucy doll..."

Drawing her as close as he could he kissed her softly before running his fingertips against her soft cheek. Smiling, he nuzzled against her for a moment before sighing.

"Pray for me Lucy..."

Breaking free, he walked around to the Impala and stared at her. Lucy shoved her hands back in her jean pockets before nodding. Faintly smiling, Dean got in and started the engine. Looking at her once last time he drove out into the darkness.

Lucy watched until his headlights disappeared and burst into tears.

Just a few days later she got a call from Sam crying, saying what happened and that he needed her to come right away.


	9. Chapter 9

Sam didn't exactly know how long he had been sitting on the floor holding his brother and crying. Time somehow seemed to slow down as his worst fears had become a reality. For this whole year this aching worry had stayed with him, yet somehow he tried his hardest to hold onto any hope there was. Night after night he prayed that something would stop this from happening. He didn't want to believe it, he couldn't. After his father he knew he wouldn't be able to live with himself knowing his brother had given up his soul for him.

He had watched completely helpless as the hell hounds tore him apart. He watched pinned against the wall as they dragged Dean screaming onto the hard wooden floor and slashed him to ribbons. Dean had screamed as his shirt was torn open and his chest became bloody. He yelled in utter pain as his arms and legs were clawed apart as well. Sam screamed watching him as Dean stiffened for a moment, blood splashing up in his face.

After Lilith had disappeared he stared down at the bodies of his brother and Ruby.

He held Dean, who's green hazel eyes stared up blankly at the ceiling. He still felt warm and Sam almost expected for Dean to blink and look at him. Instead he was still, there was no pulse nor life left inside of his big brother. He laid there in his arms, his handsome face sprayed with blood as his glazed over lifeless eyes just stared up.

"No..."

He had cried holding onto him.

Finally it was almost around dark, Sam almost expected the police to come but they didn't instead as the light shifted in the room, Sam sniffled and found himself in the same position he had been in hours ago.

It was over, Dean was really dead.

The hell hounds had taken him.

Looking down at his brother he reached into his pocket and took out his cell phone. Dialing it, he messed up the number twice before finally finding his contacts. He did this as if he was watching himself from somewhere else, an actor playing a part on stage. He felt empty, lost, and floating somewhere.

He clicked the button and held his phone with a shaken hand.

It rang once, twice...and finally...

Bobby answered, his voice low and flat.

"Sam?"

Sam took a second before he found his throat locking up. Unable to speak new tears formed in his eyes and rolled down his face.

"It's done isn't it?"

Bobby asked.

Sam choked out a half sob before nodding. They had gotten split up with Bobby and he didn't know where they were. Sam didn't have the strength to tell him what had happened, just muttered the exact address and told him to hurry before hanging up.

Looking down at Dean, he fumbled for his phone again.

It rang nearly four times before he heard Lucy's voice on the other end.

"Hello?"

Sam took a deep breath. Just the night before when Dean and him were riding around, Dean had mentioned that he had in fact visited Lucy. That he couldn't really explain it, but he needed to make sure things were all right between the two of them before grinning and telling Sam that the two of them went on down to city hall and made it official. Sam couldn't believe it before Dean sighed, looking ahead as he drove.

"I didn't want to make her a widow, and I know it's too late to really make up for anything...it just felt right."

Sam nodded, he didn't fully understand but from the look on Dean's face underneath how scared he really was, he seemed happy.

Now Sam was speaking to Lucy, a girl he had pretty much grown up with and thought of as a sister. The same girl who was his brother's wife. Now he had to tell her that Dean was dead.

"Lucy..."

"Sam what is it?"

Sam took a second, he was kneeling down beside Dean, he hadn't moved in what seemed like hours. His legs felt stiff, and everything seemed to be spinning. Glancing down at Dean he saw that his blood had now hardened and turned an off purplish brown color. Some of it had touched his hands as he held Dean and felt sticky against his skin. Dean's flushed color was now faded and his arms and legs all ready felt cold to the touch. His once vibrant green eyes now stared up slightly clouded and glazed over, lifeless.

Sam couldn't speak, he honestly couldn't say it, but just like Bobby Lucy knew this was coming. There was a pause on the other line when finally she said...

"He's dead isn't he?"

Her voice was flat sounding. Sam sniffled and nodded before slowly saying through tears.

"Yeah..."

"Where are you?"

"Lucy..."

"Where Sam?"

She said, more stern sounding. Sam took a deep breath, if anyone had the right to be here...it would be her.

_**A few hours later... **_

It was dark by then.

Bobby had arrived and Sam was at the door when he knocked. Both men stared at each other before Sam trembled and Bobby came forward, wrapping his arms around him as Sam broke down crying. He tried to comfort him like a father was supposed to. Sighing, he now understood that Sam's was all gone.

Mary, John, and now Dean.

He flicked on a few of the lights before going to the room in the back, the lights from the living room spilled in through the open arch way of the french doors. It gave enough light in the darkened room to show the two bodies laying on the floor. When Sam first heard Bobby's knocking, he couldn't move. At first he thought it would be the police or somebody coming to see what had happened. Instead he hadn't heard sirens or any noise since this morning.

When he did get up his legs almost gave out from underneath him, almost in a daze he had answered the door.

Bobby stood in the doorway looking in at the sprawled out bodies of Dean and the young girl Ruby had taken over.

"Damnit Dean..."

Bobby muttered under his breath before wiping his eyes with his sleeve.

Sam told him not to touch him, they were waiting for Lucy. At first Bobby looked stunned, asking why on earth he would have called her? That they should get going now, and not wait. But the moment he saw Sam's poor heartbroken eyes he knew better not to say anything else. Instead the two of them waited.

Finally the heard the sound of Lucy's jeep engine up front before waiting. A moment later there was a knock on the door and Bobby answered it. The hours since, they had sat in the living room in complete silence. Ignoring the other bodies and not even bothering to talk. In the next room Dean laid dead, and there wasn't anything they could do about it.

Lucy stood on the dark porch, she was in jeans and a black tight T-shirt. She had her boots on and her hair was tied back with a scar. Her face pale with circles underneath them. She stood there for a second before looking at Bobby's worried expression and biting her bottom lip and looking down.

"Is he here?"

Bobby's eyes dropped.

"Yeah..."

Before he could say another word Lucy pushed past him and the sound of her boots clicking down the hallway filled the now empty and silent house. She met Sam who was standing in the doorway leading to the back room. She stopped for a moment before Sam stared down at her, his eyes filling with tears.

"Lucy..."

Lucy glanced up at him for a moment, tears beginning to build in her own eyes before she walked forward into the darkness, stepping over Ruby's body as if she was just a pile of rags. Hesitating, she stood there for a moment looking down at Dean's body before slowly doing down to her knees.

He laid there, lifeless, still staring up.

She knelt down beside him before leaning over, her eyes filled with pity and regret. The light from the other room spilled in, casting just enough light to see him. She looked him over, his eyes staring up at nothing, no longer with the same color in them. His full lips slightly parted, blood flecks sprayed lightly up on his face and slightly unshaven neck.

She looked down at his torn apart clothes and the ugly wounds left behind, it looked as if a very large animal had been at him and tore him apart. She gently touched the wounds with her fingertips before drawing back and looking at his torn up leg as well. Sighing, she felt for one of his hands and found it.

It felt cold and stiff against hers. Bringing it up, she pressed it against her face and shut her eyes as a silent tear fell from her.

This was her husband. The same man she had grown up with, the one she had lost her virginity to, the one she had spent so many nights laying on the Impala hood watching the stars. The same man who she had hunted with, and fallen in love with. The same one she had fought with and cried over. The one that she had never stopped loving and worrying about.

Thinking back to his visit just a few days ago, she saw his wedding band on the other hand and took a deep breath, her chest shaking. In the end it had been made clear that the two had a very good understanding and finally saw that they loved each other very much.

She felt awful.

Her husband was dead.

Dean was dead and now in hell.

No, she couldn't think like that...she just couldn't.

Opening her eyes, she stared down at Dean and with a shaken hand began to brush back his hair gently and with love. She did this for an hour or so before finally Bobby came forward with Sam who looked just as lost as she did. Clearing his throat, he told them they better get going.

_**The next morning...**_

Lucy had insisted on digging Dean's grave.

Bobby had mentioned maybe burning it but Sam refused, he barley spoke that night other than making sure his brother's body was wrapped up and safe. Bobby has drove his car first, taking Dean's body which was carried into the back seat by him, Sam, and Lucy. When they first lifted him off the ground, they didn't think they could do it. Dean had been a heavy guy and seemed to weight ten times more. Finally they slowly backed him out and into the back seat. By then Lucy had shut his eyes which made it just a little bit better to deal with.

Sam had stared at the blood puddle Dean had left before glancing down at Ruby's body. Feeling nothing but sick, he turned and flicked off the lights before following Bobby and Lucy outside.

They all had to take their own cars.

Bobby drove first, with Dean's body in the back seat. A few hours later they reached the side of the road and all parked out of sight. By then it had begun to lightly rain. Bobby had gotten his shovel and spade out of his truck and Lucy and Sam insisted on carrying Dean by themselves as they went down the small slope off the highway and into the darkness.

Bobby carried a flash light and found the small clearing he had talked about.

They all worked without speaking, as the rain got heavier and heavier. The night sky above seemed to give an off dark pink color, almost the shade you would see before a snow storm. Bobby had offered to help but both said no. They laid Dean's body down carefully on a dry patch underneath an old pine tree.

Lucy began to dig. Sam at first asked if he could help and she simply said no, so instead he went back to the Impala and got Dean some fresh clothes. With a little help from Bobby they changed Dean's very stuff and cold body out of his torn apart shreds of clothes and into a new shirt and jeans. They did so in silence, not admitting how badly they wanted to scream whenever they touched one of Dean's ugly deep claw marks.

Sam had wiped off the blood that was left on his brother's face as Lucy dug deeper and deeper in the mud. After an hour Bobby told her to stop, by then Lucy was a few feet down into the muddy soil. It was caked onto her clothes, arms, hands, and legs. Her hands had blisters and were bleeding from shoveling. The rain was pooling up around her ankles, and the dirt was turning into mush every time she threw it over her shoulder. By then she was filthy and drenched. Offering his hand, Bobby pulled Lucy out and set her on her feet before he headed to his truck. Lucy stood there for a moment, before throwing down the shovel which made a heavy click against the ground. It was pouring now and her eyes seemed blank.

Lucy turned and went underneath the tree where Dean's body laid. Sam had now re-dressed him and had his hands crossed over his chest. His eyes shut, and his body still. Lucy stared down at him before kneeling down. Sam just sat there, the pile of Dean's torn up bloody clothes beside him. Sighing, he leaned over and took Dean's necklace off.

He held it for a second, looking down as if remembering some memory before sighing and looking at Lucy.

"Do you...want it?"

Lucy shook her head before looking down at Dean's wedding band. She bit her bottom lip before Sam noticed this.

"I can take that off for you..."

Lucy shook her head.

"No, leave it..."

They sat in silence as Lucy gently brushed back Dean's hair.

Bobby went back to his truck and brought back some old wooden boards and nails. Silently he began to build a coffin, or just a simple box to throw Dean's corpse in since he knew Sam and Lucy would have agreed Dean deserved better. Knowing he wanted this over with as quickly as possible he worked as fast as he could before finally putting together a pine box which was about six or so feet. He dragged it back, his joints aching knowing this night would never be over.

Light hadn't touched yet and it was raining harder than ever, thunder sounding in the air.

All three of them helped lift Dean up and place him into the box, it seemed like a good enough fit and the three of them all stood around it, looking down as rain gently poured down on Dean's face. Just a few hours ago Dean had been alive.

Now...

Sam closed his eyes, his head was pounding...he couldn't stop thinking about it.

There was no prayers, no moment of silence, or words of comfort. Dean wasn't in a better place. He was suffering somewhere and there was nothing they could do about it.

Before placing the cover on, Lucy knelt down beside the box and leaned over, gently she kissed Dean's forehead and whispered...

"I'll always be your Lucy doll...and I promise we'll find a way to get you back..."

With that she looked up at Bobby with wide tear filled eyes.

"Help me cover him up, I don't want it to keep raining on him."

She said in a choked up voice. Carefully the three of them moved the box into the shallow grave and with a thud it was in. Putting the cover on, Bobby nailed the planks in as Sam and Lucy watched, both holding hands as the rain kept pouring on them.

Sam filled the grave and within a half an hour it was filled. Patting the wet soil down they all stood around, not saying a word.

The rain was slowly letting up.

Bobby sighed, taking his hat off for a moment and muttering about getting around to making a cross or something. Sam didn't say a word, instead he just stared down at the ground as did Lucy. Buried there was Dean...

It was really over.

Finally once a little light began to part through the clouds, Bobby told them they better get going. Sam sighed, wiping his eyes knowing he was in pretty bad shock before nodding. This horrible aching pain he was feeling sent his entire body into a horrible aching that wouldn't go away.

"Yeah, come on..."

He tried to pull on Lucy's hand but she wouldn't budge. Sam lifted an eyebrow, the rain was letting up and he knew in no time the skies would begin to clear. As it continuance to drizzle on them he sighed and took a step forward.

"Lucy..."

Lucy stared down, her face beginning to crumple before she looked at Sam.

"I...don't wanna leave him out in the rain..."

Sam sighed before gathering her up in his arms. Lucy only cried for a moment before she shook her head and roughly shoved back.

"Lucy!"

Lucy ran up the hill towards the trees as Sam watched. Bobby stepped forward shaking his head.

"Let her be Sam..."

Lucy stumbled a few times before reaching the side of the road. Digging in her pockets, which were filthy with mud and grit, she pulled her car keys out and fumbled before starting the jeep. Putting it in place, she began to speed down the road, her vision blurring with tears.

She just needed to escape, she couldn't take this...it couldn't be happening.

Beating the steering wheel with her hands, she cried out.

Why did this have to happen? Why did her Dean have to die?

Wiping her eyes, she promised herself she would get his back no matter what.

Not knowing that in just a few months, her wishes would come true.


	10. Chapter 10

_**2001**_

Lucy and Dean slowly made their way down the darkened back road, guns aimed downward as they slowly began to approach the old farm house. It had been a few months since they last saw each other and very little had been said between them. Dean had tried calling her, but Lucy ignored his calls. Finally Bobby called John up, asking if him and the boys could help them with. Lately there had been tension between Bobby and John. They hadn't been themselves lately and Bobby claimed to pastor Jim that John was being too reckless with his hunts and had a death wish. Of course John being John stayed stubborn and the two had gotten into more than one argument.

Finally Dean decided to go, he had tried contacting Lucy the last couple of months and had gotten annoyed when he didn't get even a word back from her. He was honest and knew he was no saint, and thought the two of them had an understanding and knew they would have to wait before really working this whole marriage thing out. He heard that Lucy was still working at the dinner and was seeing more boys than Bobby even knew what to do with. Anger and jealously of course came to him, wondering why she could still do this and he was the bastard for doing the same.

The first night back had been awkward, John, Bobby, and Dean all split a bottle while Sam sulked and stayed upstairs. Lately he had been fighting with John more and more and it seemed he was becoming very uninterested in the hunts now. Usually he stayed behind.

Dean remembered this house in front of the junk yard and how many memories it held. He stayed with his father and Bobby in the den drinking as Bobby told them about an old 1971 Cuda that locals thought to be possessed after it's driver was driven off the road in the early 80's. Several thoughts were surrounding it, and Bobby wanted to check it out.

That night Lucy came in late. Bobby hadn't really mentioned her Everyone knew the two of them hadn't been talking, and it was an awkward thing to happen. Dean tried his hardest to show it didn't bother him, but he had to admit that he had been thinking about her and just wanted to level out and talk straight with her.

That night she came home wearing a blouse which was tied up front, and tight shorts. A pair of roller blades still swung over one shoulder and wearing those dirty old worn cowboy boots. John and Bobby had since gone to bed and Dean waited for her in the darkness of the den.

When she walked in she jumped, holding her chest.

"Jesus, you scared me!"

Dean sat on the couch looking at her.

"What? Didn't expect to see me here?"

Lucy raised an eyebrow in puzzlement before shaking her head and taking off the trucker's cap that was placed upon her tied back hair.

"Bobby mentioned you guys were coming soon for a hunt..."

Dean stared at her in the darkness, his heart fluttered in his chest.

"Listen Lucy..."

Lucy waved her hand, almost embarrassed.

"Listen, let's not do this...it's late and we have a big day tomorrow."

Dean sighed before nodding.

"Okay..."

That night Lucy offered for Dean to sleep with her. Sam was all ready asleep in the guest room and so wasn't John. Not wanting to wake them Dean had planned on the couch until Lucy motioned to the stairs.

"Cut the bullshit Dean and come on."

Dean was stunned, yet followed her. Lucy was careful not to make any noise before they reached her room. Dean followed her, taking in how wonderful she looked and how much he hated how hurt she looked the last time he had seen her. In the darkness he sat on the edge of her full bed pulling his boots off before silently pulling his shirts off. Lucy went over to her dresser and took off her large feather earrings before letting her hair down. Pulling her shirt off, she stood only in her bra and shorts before hopping on one leg and pulling her boots off. Dean watched her closely and felt amused.

"Why do you still wear them?"

Dean asked out loud. Lucy turned, confused.

"What?'

"The boots...they welcomed to Swann, the guy who took you in as a kid. I was just wondering why did you keep his boots, mostly after you told me what he did to you."

Lucy slipped the boots off and stared at them for a moment before sighing.

"I guess for two reasons..."

"Which is?"

By then Dean was undoing his belt and pulling his jeans down. Lucy shrugged.

"I guess the first would be to remind me of the good side of him, which there was a lot of. I know there's no excuse for what he did to me, but you have to understand he was a sick terrified guy who honestly didn't know any better."

"And the other reason?"

"To remind me how I first got into hunting..."

Dean sighed looking at her.

"Listen Lucy..."

Lucy shook her head at him before undoing her own jeans. Dean took in the sight of her legs and couldn't help but feel excited. As long as it would be between times with Lucy, Dean honestly couldn't help how he felt. Instead Lucy stared and brushed back some of her fallen bangs.

"Dean don't...we have an understanding and we're still working through it. We know how we are and we're nothing close to a saint. It just isn't working out...guess marriage is a little harder than we thought huh?"

Dean sighed.

"You could start hunting with me, I honestly don't think my father would care anymore. Maybe it would be for the best."

Lucy snorted before walking over to the bed and slipping under the covers. Dean turned to look at her.

"We would kill each other, and it wouldn't last more than a day..."

"Don't say that."

"It's true."

Dean sighed before tossing the last of his clothes and going around to the other side, Pulling the covers back he stared at her and sighed. Somehow even after all this time this seemed like the most comfortable place to be.

"Come on Lucy..."

He tried to smile shaking her arm. Being with her made him remember everything on why he did fall in love with her in the first place. He knew if they could finally be together than maybe, just maybe they would start acting like a married couple.

Lucy sighed, her smooth legs touching his underneath the covers.

"I can't..."

"Don't say you can't...come on Lucy doll..."

"No Dean I'm serious. I'm moving to Seattle in a couple of months."

Dean just stared at her.

"You're...what?"

Lucy sighed.

"I met a man, who's a psychic investigator..."

"A what?"

Lucy leaned against the headboard and looked at Dean.

"He knows a little bit about the stuff we do. He's very talented and we've been talking lately. He has a few jobs lined up and he wants my help."

"You mean hunts?"

"No, not hunts...just jobs. Dean, look at me...I work as a waitress in this crummy town, the only family around I got is Bobby, and you and me have been lying to each other...why drive each other crazy and ruin us before we get bad?"

"So you're running off with some strange guy and that's it?"

Dean snapped. Right away Lucy rolled her eyes.

"We'll talk about it tomorrow Dean, you're being pissy..."

Dean grabbed her arm.

"Just wait a second..."

Lucy glared back at him.

"No, we're finished...I'm serious Dean."

Dean sat straight up in bed staring at her before she looked at him with exhausted eyes.

"We're jealou each other yet we can't seem to stop screwing everything that's around...we fight and bicker..."

"Like any other married couple..."

Lucy smiled softly.

"Dean, we're no married couple. The faster we understand it, the better...now come on."

Dean glared at Lucy before throwing back the covers.

"If you want to go run off with some guy be my guest!"

Getting up, he grabbed his pile of clothes and stormed out, slamming the door.

The next morning had been awkward, everyone knew there was some bad tension between Lucy and Dean since they didn't even bother looking at each other. Finally that night as they all split up, Dean and Lucy got paired together to check for the car that was supposed to be seen on this very country road around night fall.

Dean and Lucy had shoved their flashlights in their back pockets and carried their guns slowly through the darkened road. Thick forest surrounded them on each side as they walked on. In the distance a cricket began to chirp.

Finally Dean stopped, pistol still aimed down.

"All right, I give up."

Dean said as Lucy walked a few feet ahead of him, stopping, she turned and looked confused.

"What?"

"I give up, we're not a married couple and we never will be. If we keep blaming other people and saying it isn't the right time we'll be waiting forever. I'm just done...go and move if you want on. Won't make any difference."

Lucy sighed.

"Dean, it's like I said...we can try all we want but isn't it better to stay away before we get bad? Huh?"

Dean stared at her before shaking his head.

"You know..."

Just then blinding headlights flashed ahead of them. Dean and Lucy both stood in the middle of the dirt road, turning and looking at the blinding light. After a second, the road of a heavy engine sounded and the shapes began to come out more clear.

It was the car.

Dean and Lucy froze there, staring at it like two deer caught in front of an eighteen wheeler. The engine kept running loudly before Lucy stared forewarn. Over the lights she could still make out that there wasn't anybody driving it.

"Um...Dean..."

Lucy said. Dean raised his pistol slowly.

"On the count of three, ready?"

Lucy slowly raised her gun and took aim as well.

"Ready."

Dean didn't take his eyes off the car, which was twenty or so feet. Lucy aimed her gun with him and waited as the headlights shinned against them.

The engine then screamed to life as the tires began to spin.

"NOW!"

Dean screamed and the two of them opened fire at the windshield but the bullets simply bounced back. Dean saw it coming closer and jumped back, trying to reach and grab Lucy by the collar but his feet stumbled backwards and he feel, unable to grab her.

It all happened in the flash second before the car screamed past him and it Lucy dead on. Lucy hit the hood hard, went spinning up over the windshield and top before hitting the back and tumbling off. The car disappeared out of thin air, the smell of burning oil still thick in the air.

"LUCY!"

Dean screamed with wide eyes dropping his useless gun. Lucy laid on the ground for a moment before rolling over near the slope, her lip bleeding badly as her left temple. Dean raced over, skidding to the ground before looking down, a shaking mess.

"Lucy!"

Lucy coughed, leaned over slightly in pain before shooting Dean a dirty look before loosing her footing. Loosing her balance, she fell backwards before grabbing Dean by the collar. With that both tumbled down the steep side of the road and into a deep puddle of mud and rain.

They hit the small ditch hard and with a splash. Scrambling to stand up, they held onto each other and kept slipping, drenched in mud. Just then Lucy who was on her knees looked up.

"Dean..."

Dean blinked, wiping the mud from his face when he looked up as well.

What appeared to be either a ghoul or zombie was slowly walking down the steep hill, grinning it's rotting teeth at them. Lucy looked down and couldn't see her gun anywhere. Dean meanwhile slowly reached for his, which thankfully hadn't fallen completely into the puddle. Grabbing it, he leveled it off and fired.

The thing uttered a scream and a huge wave of blood and rotting flesh exploded right onto Dean and Lucy. Now covered in the cold purplish colored blood, Lucy snapped her eyes shut before spitting some of the goo out of her mouth. The sound of the car engine up the hill disappeared.

Dean looked disgusted as he threw down his gun and wiped his face.

Looking at Lucy he couldn't help but smirk.

"Hey Carrie, need a hand?"

Lucy shot him a look before pushing him over.

That night when they returned to Bobby's, both had taken turns showing and now Lucy stood in her bedroom in fresh sweats and an old T-shirt of Dean's. It had been a long night and both were beyond moody. Dean walked out just wearing a towel around his waist, steam coming in from the bathroom door as he walked into Lucy's room.

Dean stared at her before shaking his head and grabbing his clothes.

"You're really going to leave aren't you?"

Lucy shrugged.

"There's some cases I could work on over there and I've had enough of this place."

"Does Bobby know?"

Lucy nodded.

"Of course he does. I'm leaving in a couple of days."

Dean looked at her.

"A couple of days!"

"Jesus Dean, hand the man an Oscar...we tried to make this work but it just doesn't fit. We live different life's."

"Different..."

Dean shook his head before going on.

"Lucy we're hunters, we do live the same life!"

"Yet besides for a few romps a couple of a times a year we barley see each other. We've been fighting like cats and dogs..."

Dean dropped his towel and began to dress as Lucy sat on the bed.

""It's not goodbye forever. You're father needs you..."

Dean shook his head as he dressed.

"I really don't get you Lucy. I wish did..."

"Dean..."

Dean pulled up his jeans and zipped the fly.

"Always running away...hell this new guy could be some kind of creep. Don't you remember Swann?"

Lucy glared up at him.

"Don't you ever bring him up again."

Dean put his shirt on and his necklace.

"What? Afraid I might be right!"

"You bastard!"

Lucy grabbed her alarm clock and threw it at Dean who ducked right in time. It shattered against the wall before Dean turned around and stared at her.

"What are you crazy?"

Lucy stood up and stormed over, hitting his chest.

"You have no right!"

"I'm you're husband! Of course I do!"

Lucy rolled her eyes.

"Yeah, keep telling yourself that!"

Dean suddenly had an inch to hit her but held back, instead he shoved her as hard as she could. Lucy went back a few feet before storming forward and slapping him across the face. Dean pushed her again and this time she grabbed onto him and the two went down to the floor with a loud crash. Rolling over twice, Lucy struggled as Dean pinned her down.

Lucy glared up at him before Dean shook his head.

"What the fuck is the matter with you?"

Lucy stared up at him before shaking her head, tears in her eyes.

"Just leave Dean...look at us, this is horrible."

Dean stared down at her and suddenly wanted to kiss her. Instead he sighed and lifted his weight off her and sat on the floor before Lucy stood up, her knees skinned.

"We keep fighting like this we're going to kill each other..."

Shaking her head, Lucy left the bedroom, leaving Dean alone.

_**Present. **_

Lucy flipped the closed sign on the store door. It was late and all day it had been slow. Outside the wind had picked up and leafs from across the cobble stoned street blew by in tiny circles.

Lucy felt beyond depressed, dark brownish circles were underneath her eyes as she flicked the lights off and slowly walked across the main floor. Today she had kept busy by simply cleaning and restocking. Just yesterday she had sold an old fashion radio for nearly eight hundred dollars. Today besides just a new things here and there, it had been dead.

She walked behind the counter to make sure everything was in place before feeling another cramp wash over her. Sighing, she flicked the overhead lights which shined down on the glass displays and rubbed the back of her neck.

Yesterday she had gotten her period. For some strange reason, which she couldn't explain she honestly was stunned to see it happen. It had been nearly a month now since Dean had been killed, and deep down inside she had really wanted to be pregnant. At least then Dean's death could have meant something more than just giving his soul up. Maybe if she had been pregnant it would have given her a sense to keep going for him.

But the moment she saw the blood, she understood that the Winchesters were cursed, and she was alone.

Going up the stairs, she went into the kitchen and didn't feel hungry at all. Right now she just wanted to curl up in bed.

She hadn't heard from Sam and Bobby said he was in a bad way. She hadn't hunted since Dean's accident, but planned to maybe going back to it. At least when she was doing that her mind was somewhere else.

Thoughts of maybe selling the store crossed her mind but she really didn't know.

Bobby had been wanting to see her but she couldn't. Right now she felt as if she was in a daze and nothing but regret filled her.

Walking to the french doors to her bedroom, she began to undress before getting into some comfy clothes. Finding her bed, she threw herself onto it wishing she could just see Dean for one second. Seeing those sparking green eyes of him, the rough stubble of his neck when he didn't shave for a day. The clean smell of soap in his hair, his big hands, his firm body...

Shaking her head she stared at the ceiling.

Seattle had been a dead end, the man she had lived with had disappeared before their relationship could even go anywhere. He was a sweet older man, English with a kind manner to him but he had gone missing after investigating a very famous house. He had just happened to be one of it's latest victims. He had ministered on doing it alone and after he was taken Lucy stayed for nearly several months, even moving into the condos that they build after tearing the mansion down. She had gotten little to no contact before finally giving up and heading back to Bobby with thoughts of the store.

She had seen Dean here and there and most of the time they fought.

Shaking her head she wanted to kill herself for being so stupid. Why did they honestly waste so much time?

Now Dean was dead.

Laying there she played with her wedding band and a silent tear escaped her face. She would do anything to bring him back.

But just in less than three months...her wish would come true.


	11. Chapter 11

Forty years.

Forty very long years had passed. Flashes of red fire light, screeching, screaming, cries, blood curdling gasps, rusty hooks, knifes, blades, chains, blood, flesh sizzling, crumbling, ice cold stabs, and darkness. For Dean, who had lived a good twenty-eight years knowing the deepest darkest ways of the world, have seen and things beyond his wildest nightmares. He couldn't stop it, he couldn't fight it, all of this was happening over and over again like a bad dream he couldn't escape. Not for one waking moment did it end. The pain was unforgiving, and he was terrified. Creatures, demons, and monsters all had their time with him and over and over again once they were done with him, it would start over again. They cut him, bled him, skinned him, and took him apart piece by piece. They raped him, hung him, and made him finally a horrible deal to stop the never ending torture that didn't let up. He took it, a broken being, and turned the tables, taking souls and doing exactly what these monsters had done to him. The horrible part of it was...he was starting to enjoy it.

Flashes of screaming light spread across his wide bloodshot eyes. Blood was sprayed on his face, and the creatures were coming again. While this happened, he tried his hardest to hold onto the few good memories he had. The only ones that honestly kept him from going insane and turning into one of these things. He thought of his brother...and of Lucy. They were alive, he had done this for them, they could live...and would never know what a horrible place this was.

Then...

His eyes snapped open.

The flashing red light and screams were gone. His head pounded loudly and for a moment his entire body went in shock. It felt as if he had dropped onto a pile or bricks and his entire body stiffened in shock. The last few things that raced through his head was laying on that floor and having those hell hounds rip him apart. How it felt to have his chest ripped wide open, warm blood gushing down him as he laid there helpless, screaming feeling their claws dig into him.

He laid there for a second, his eyes growing wide and adjusting to the darkness. For a moment he thought it was a trick. That this was just another level of hell he had gone into and the worse was awaiting him. Then, the warmth and inclosed air hit him. The feel of his stiff limbs, the feel of being trapped.

It then hit him.

He was alive and buried...

He gasped for air, his lungs burning as he hit the top of the wooden coffin. His hands felt along the length of the coffin. He had no idea how he had gotten here, or how he survived. His chest and limbs felt fine, and he didn't know exactly how long he had been here. Maybe it had all been a horrible nightmare. Maybe none of this was real...

He reached upwards, he had little to no room as he coughed and felt the planks of wood. Whoever had built this had rushed and it wasn't very well put together. He dug his fingers into the grooves of the wood and pulled forward, dirt exploding downwards like a million stones. Fighting forward, he pushed upward with all his might, fighting through the pouring soil.

Moments later, after clawing and struggling he felt his hands rip through the surface of the tangled up grass and dirt. Pushing forward, the light hit him like a truck and he snapped his eyes shut gasping. Wiggling upward, he couldn't believe he had gotten out of there. He knew how reality worked and that he really should have been trapped, buried alive down there. Again a horrible feeling filled him, what if it was all a trick? What if this was the demons way of just fooling him? Some cruel way to make him believe it really hadn't happened.

Digging himself out, he used the last of the strength and rolled backwards onto the ground. His hands were filthy and his finger nails were torn and bleeding. Laying there he stared up at the slightly over cast sky and took in deep gasps of air. He hurt all over, and his throat felt so dry he thought it might get locked up. He laid there, before looking around.

That's when he knew something was wrong.

Slowly standing, his knees shaking he looked around.

All the trees in the surrounding area had been torn down, blown apart by some force.

He was alive...he had somehow escaped...but how?

_**That evening...**_

Sam, Bobby, and Dean stood together in the small apartment room Sam had been renting. They had figured out that someway, some how...Dean had escaped the pit. Something had pulled him out, the same something that left that ugly welt hand print on his arm. Sam hadn't been able to make a deal.

So the question was still out there...

How...and why?

Dean felt as if he was in a dream waiting for any moment to close his eyes and be back in that nightmare.

Standing there, Bobby mentioned he might know somebody who could help figure out who pulled Dean out. But at that exact moment, the only true important thing was the only other person after Sam that he had been wanting to see. Looking over, he walked over to Bobby. His eyes anxious and nervous.

"Where is she Bobby?"

He couldn't believe he had waited until now to ask. Bobby softly smiled.

"She's at her store..."

Dean felt his heart race before he smiled.

"I can make it there in less than a day if I hurry..."

Bobby nodded touching Dean's arm.

"Go, we'll meet you there."

Dean looked at Sam before sighing.

"No...we should go track this person down...that's important, we need to figure out why I'm back."

Sam walked over shaking his head.

"Dean, we'll ride together and go see Lucy on the way...she's you're wife...you deserve to see her."

Dean nodded feeling relieved.

"Have you guys...heard from her?"

Bobby nodded.

"Here and there, she's been staying at her shop...she didn't take what happened to you that well..."

"Yeah, she wasn't the only one..."

Sam mumbled. Dean looked at his younger brother before he looked back at Bobby, his eyes wide.

"You don't think Lucy..."

Bobby shook his head.

"No, if they weren't willing to make deals with Sam, they wouldn't with Lucy, besides she knows better."

"Yeah well, I wanna see her and ask her myself."

Bobby nodded.

"Well let's go..."

Dean drove the Impala, feeling as if he was in Heaven. Never before had he honestly found so much pleasure and happiness in such simple and little things. Breathing fresh air, driving his car, listening to music, and sitting beside his baby brother.

He drove into the darkness, finding himself speeding. All he could think about was her. As they drove, Sam eyed how fast he was going and smirked.

"We should call..."

Dean shook his head.

"No, I just want to see her...if I call she'll panic and might get herself hurt. I want to see her in person..."

Driving onward, Dean made a silent promise to himself that no matter what he was going to never leave his Lucy again. That they would finally be the husband and wife they always should have been. He promised that now he was back, he would never let her out of his sight.

Hours later, right before dawn the Impala reached the front of the store. Lucy's jeep was parked up front. Dean lifted his eyes, looking at the darkened windows and felt his heart flutter again.

"I'll take the car and check in at that hotel down the street, call me whenever you're ready."

Dean smirked.

"Listen Sam..."

Sam shook his head.

"Dude, go see you're wife...and don't worry, from this point onward it's just the two of us."

Dean softly smiled before he shook Sam's arm.

"Thanks Sammy..."

Sam smiled before Dean got out, slamming the door. Sam shifted over to the driver's side, waved and pulled out. Watching the car go down the dark street, he turned and stared up at the store. After all that time down under, he never expected to see himself standing here.

Taking a deep breath he crossed the street and went to the front door. Taking a deep breath he pressed the call button and waited

Standing there he waited before pressing it again. He hoped he wouldn't scare her. A million thoughts raced through his head, and he remembered the look on Sam's face when they first looked at each other. He didn't want to scare her, he just wanted to see her...and tell her he loved her.

Finally a click sounded and her voice, the voice he had longed to hear again came over the small speaker, sounding slightly half asleep.

"Um, hello?"

Dean bit down on his bottom lip and didn't say anything. Instead he pressed the button again and waited.

After a minute or two he heard her coming down the stairs, he never felt so nervous before in his life. Standing there he waited before he heard the front door's locks click before she opened it and stood before him. She stood there wearing shorts and an old long T-shirt. Her hair back and her face clean and gorgeous.

Dean took a deep breath before she stared at her. Right away her eyes widened before her mouth opened and no escaped sounds came. She looked as if she had been hit with a pile of bricks. She stood there in the dark doorway, looking as all color left her face.

Dean smiled, his heart was racing and all he wanted to do was hold her.

"Hey Lucy doll..."

Lucy stared at him in utter shock before blinking for a moment.

"You're...not real."

She said, her eyes wide and filling with confused tears. Dean saw how heart broken she looked before he shook his head.

"Lucy...it's me."

Lucy stood there before slowly shaking her head and backing up.

"No..."

Dean stepped forward.

"Lucy..."

Lucy just stood there frozen before Dean stepped forward and stared down at her, his eyes studied her pale scared face before he reached forward and gently wiped her rolling tears with his thumb. Lucy looked up at him before he felt her entire body shake.

"Is it...really you?"

Dean slowly nodded before Lucy snapped her eyes shut and began to sob.

"Lucy..."

Dean tried to hold onto her but Lucy stepped back and shoved him violently. Shaking her head she glared at him.

"What are you?"

Dean slowly began to walk towards her as she backed up, shaking her head in disbelief.

"Lucy, it's really me. Call Bobby or Sam, their staying right down the street..."

"NO!"

Lucy yelled before spinning around and running for the counter. Before Dean could even reach her she grabbed what appeared to be a silver knife from the counter and turned around, throwing it at him. Dean ducked just in time, before she threw another one. This knife struck one of the wooden beams which was just a few inches away from Dean's face.

"Whoa!"

Lucy held her last knife and circled around him, keeping him at a distance.

"Are you some kind of demon?"

Dean held his hands up in defense.

"Lucy it's me! It's Dean, you're husband. Um, we got married using fake Ids, my father caught us at the motel 120 a few days later. Whenever I was around each year we would pick a day to celebrate you're birthday at the lake. I taught you how to drive on the Impala...we just got remarried right before I died at city hall...I call you my Lucy doll...I once said you're eyes remind me of what I remember my mothers' was like..."

Dean couldn't think of really anything else to say for proof, half of their relationship was either being apart or fighting.

Lucy stopped and stared at him before grabbing a small glass vial on the counter and throwing it in his face. The water splashed against him and Dean shut his eyes expecting it. Sighing, he waited before Lucy's eyes widened as he wiped his face and looked at her.

"It's really me Lucy..."

Lucy stood there for a moment and Dean thought she was going to faint. She shifted from one foot to another before her eyes began to water and she stared at him, biting down on one lip.

"It's...you?"

Dean came forward as Lucy looked up at him, he saw she was shaking as she controlled her tears.

"Am I dreaming?"

With that Dean wrapped his arms around her and lifted her off the ground. Holding her close, he carried her to the counter before he sat her down. Lucy sat there, confused before taking his face in her hands. Looking, she seemed scared to death.

"Let me look at you..."

She said, locking eyes with him. Her gentle hands cupped the side of his face before looking him over, one hand running down his chest before bringing him in close.

"How?"

Dean shook his head.

"I don't know..."

"Sam and Bobby...they know?"

Dean nodded smiling.

"I came to see them today, their staying at the hotel down the street...Bobby is trying to figure out what pulled me out."

"Do you don't think Sam..."

Dean shook his head.

"Did you?"

Lucy shook her head as well.

"I tried...but no...I didn't."

Dean softly smiled, looking into her eyes and feeling his hands shake.

With that Lucy hugged him tighter, nuzzling her face against his shoulder and taking deep breaths. Dean held her as close as he could before pushing her back.

"Dean..."

Visions of the flashing light, the blood, the screams killed his head.

Dean wasn't listening, instead he pushed her back and quickly almost in a frenzy began to yank down her shorts. Lucy sat up, still holding him as he ripped the fabric and tossed it to the floor. Feeling himself getting hard, he didn't even give her a moment to try and talk. Instead he quickly yanked down his fly before pushing her back on the glass counter.

Pushing her down, he grabbed her legs and spread them as fast as he could. Fumbling, he pulled himself out and went in between her legs. Standing there, he pushed down his own jeans before guiding himself into her.

"Dean wait..."

But he couldn't he needed her now and he needed to block out this horrible visions. Pushing himself in, he nearly came from the warm tightness he felt inside of her. Taking a second, he adjustment himself before pushing forward.

Lucy's body stiffened before Dean raised her legs up high and pushed again.

"Dean..."

"Shhh, Lucy..."

Dean mumbled as he raised her legs higher and sunk into her. Holding onto her shoulders, he forced her to lay back before pumping him into her roughly. Lucy laid there as he lowered his head and went into her again, again, and again. Finding a quick pace, he began to go into her as quick as he could for a full minute. Lucy's legs simply hung on each side of him slowly and gently shaking as he held onto her.

The flashes kept coming.

Trying his hardest to block them out, he snapped his eyes shut and just after a good minute, he felt himself stiffen and come. Unable to hold back he loudly moaned before lowering his head.

Lucy laid there for a moment before gently touching his back. Dean raised his head, his face flushed and embarrassed.

"Lucy...I'm sorry...I didn't mean..."

"Shhhh..."

She gently pressed her finger against his full lips before pushing him gently up. Pulling himself out of her, he saw the mess he had made and rolled his eyes.

"Jesus, I feel like I'm fifteen again..."

Lucy smiled, looking at the tattered remains of her shorts before wrapping her arms around his neck.

"Bring me upstairs...if this is a dream I really don't want to wake up."

Dean nuzzled his face against hers.

"You think you're dreaming?"

"I just me...only in a dream Dean Winchester would be a one minute man."

Dean never thought he would laugh again after the things he saw and did, but he couldn't help it. Laughing as hard as he could, he picked up Lucy and hurried up the stairs as she began to kiss him.

Upstairs, both were in a frenzy to undress each other as Dean nearly tripped going into her bedroom. Both fell onto the mattress and sat up undressing each other before Dean pulled his shirt off.

Lucy stared at his arm for a moment with puzzled eyes before Dean looked over. Gently, Lucy's thin fingertips touched the horrible welt and her eyes drifted up to him. Dean shook his head.

"I don't know..."

Sighing, Lucy looked at it closer before gently touching the pinkish ugly scared skin.

"You think it has something to do with why you're here?"

"Maybe...that's what Bobby and Sam are going to help me figure out..."

Lucy looked at him before Dean brushed back some of her hair with his free hand.

"I'm never leaving you again Lucy Doll...I promise."

Lucy watched as Dean pulled his wedding band off his right hand and put it on his left. This was just something they had done when they were younger. Part of it was because they didn't want anyone or anything to know they were married, and second, it just felt right on the other hand. Lucy smiled, seeing the small tan line it left on his right hand before she leaned forward and gently kissed the welt.

"Bobby and Sam are taking you someplace?"

"Yeah, I want you to come...Bobby knows this chick that can maybe figure out why I'm here..."

"Do you...remember it?"

Lucy asked looking up at him. Dean stared at her in the thin darkness of her bedroom and felt his heart ache. If he was going to tell anyone, he knew he should tell her. Lucy had never judged him and understood how messed up he really was underneath it all. Somehow after all these years their understanding grew stronger than anything else. But he remembered how he had lied to Bobby and Sam, and knew it wasn't the time.

Instead of answering, he wrapped his arms around her and made the two of them fall backwards on the bed. Lucy laughed as Dean began to kiss her neck.

_**Later...**_

Dean was on top of Lucy, they had been going at this for hours. It would be dawn soon, and never in Dean's life had he had sex so many times in such a short period of time. Sure he had a few weekends in his past he could look back on, but this was different. He was with his wife now and things seemed more vivid. More real...he had escaped hell and now even if this was just some horrible trick, he was making the bets of it before retuning to that nightmare. Never before did he feel so alive. Each touch, kiss, stroke made his body feel as if they were being stabbed by a million pins and needles.

He kept pushing away all those horrible visions and they seemed to fade each time he held her.

Dean laid on top of Lucy, her legs spread as he dully thrusted into her. She laid underneath him, her arms around his back, holding him close as his ass pumped up and down. Lucy herself seemed drained. Orgasm after orgasm finally made her lay back exhausted and almost unable to move. Sweat rolled down her pale face and her hair pooled around her.

Dean laid there, his chest squishing her breasts as he panted and kept going into her.

This time around had nearly been an hour, Dean remembered having marathons, but this had lasted the longest. He just couldn't seem to come. Going in and out of her, he knew his body wouldn't let up until he had finished. Lucy laid underneath him, squirming and gently kissing him as he worked away.

"Damnit..."

He mumbled as Lucy looked up at him.

"What?"

Dean had to laugh at himself.

"I'm still hard here..."

"You can stop if you want, God knows we set a new world record..."

Dean looked down at her as he kept going into her.

"Am I hurting you?"

Lucy shook her head.

"No, it feels wonderful...just don't over do it...you need some sleep..."

Dean shook his head gritting his teeth.

"Shhh, I'm almost there...hold on..."

Making sure her legs were as spread as possible, he kept going in and out before after fifteen minutes he felt himself coming close. Laying down he buried his head into her shoulder and lifted himself in and out before finally the wave of pleasure hit him.

"Oh God..."

He mumbled before finally coming. When it happened, Dean's entire body felt numb. Taking a second he laid there, emptying himself out completely before lifting his head. Lucy stared up at him and kissed him.

Dean smiled down at her.

Kissing her, he opened his mouth and laced his hand with hers and pressed down against her. Even if this was a dream, or a vision and he was in fact still in Hell, he didn't care. At this exact moment he felt happy and very much alive.

He stayed inside of her a moment or two longer before pulling out. He felt sore now and about as drained as he ever felt. Rolling over, he laid beside her. It was Indian summer, and her ceiling fan was on. Laying there beside her, he tilted his head back against her pillows and took a deep breath. Lucy hiked herself up on one elbow and rolled her body against him. Dean's eyes shifted over to her and reached over, taking her hand and squeezing it.

"You okay?"

Lucy smiled and nodded.

"I'm more than okay...I'm wonderful."

Dean smiled and couldn't help but get the urge again to want to roll on top of her and have sex again. Instead he smiled at her, he just wanted to lay here with her and relax. Even though it had in reality been four months, he knew in his heart it had been much much more. He never thought he would see her again.

Lucy stared at him.

"So what happened Dean..."

Dean raised an eyebrow as Lucy let go of his hand and began to rub his flat stomach up and down. The cool feel of her palm felt wonderful. Laying back, he sighed.

"I don't know...last thing I remembered was being ripped apart by the hell hounds, then waking up in that pine box Bobby made for me. I somehow was able to dig myself out since the grave was shallow and stumble to Bobby's."

"You're lying."

Dean stopped and looked at her. There had been so many times he had looked closely at Lucy's face but never before did he really see how much he knew her. How her skin was a creamy healthy color. How sometimes her eyes appeared different colors and in the dim darkness of the bedroom they appeared to look almost gray. Her dark hair, which had been cut so many times he had lost count. The only person that even looked slightly like him was the reaper who tried to take him the first time in the hospital. He knew every inch of her, and he expected she knew him just as well.

Dean stared at her before Lucy bit down on the bottom of her light pink lip. Sighing she leaned closer. She seemed of peaches and clean shampoo.

"How bad was it Dean?"

Dean knew he couldn't lie to her, but he wasn't about to tell her the whole truth.

"Bad...horrible in fact."

Lucy stared at him, pity and heartbreak showing in her eyes before she shook her head.

"Will you tell me?"

Dean thought about this for a moment before shaking his head.

"Someday, but not now okay?"

Lucy nodded.

"Okay, deal."

Dean smiled at her before Lucy leaned over him and touched his burn mark.

"Bobby thinks you can figure out what pulled you out?"

"He says so..."

"I haven't seen Sam...how is he?"

"As good to be expected...you wouldn't believe it, he put one of those Ipod jacks in my baby."

Lucy softly laughed.

"How dare he..."

Dean took her hand and held it again, bringing it to his lips and kissing her fingers before seeing her wedding band. Smiling, he looked at her and both locked eyes.

"I never want to be apart from you Lucy...I mean it."

"I know you do."

"After everything that's happened...I don't want to loose you again."

Lucy laid across his chest and nodded.

"I know..."

"You think we can finally let ourselves me Mr. and Mrs. Winchester without killing each other?"

Lucy thought about it for a second before laughing.

"I think we can try."

Dean smiled at her before Lucy raised an eyebrow and looked down at Dean before making a face.

"Wow..."

Dean sighed.

"What can I say...I really missed you."

Laughing, Lucy kissed him.

_**A few hours later...**_

Dean tilted his head back in the large over stuffed chair Lucy had in her kitchen. On top of him, was Lucy who was arched back and taking in large gasping breaths. Dean had his arms wrapped around her, digging his fingers into her back. Sweat rolled down Dean's face as he held onto her and finally lowered his heart and shuttered.

Lucy collapsed on Dean, gasping for breath. Dean laid back in the chair before nuzzling Lucy's face.

"Come on again..."

Lucy sat up straight and looked at him as if he was crazy.

"How can you have any fluids left in your body?"

'

Dean gave an exhausted smile before Lucy slipped off Dean and walked across the kitchen naked. Glancing at the clock across the stove, she shook her head before grabbing her rope which was hung over one of the chairs.

"When are we meeting Bobby and Sam?"

"Around noon."

"Good, come on."

Dean grinned sitting up.

"Moving to another room?"

Lucy gave him a look which made him laugh before she went into the bathroom. Moments later he heard the water running.

Lucy drew him a nice steaming bath and eased him into the water, gently kissing him. Sitting on the edge of the tub, she used an old washcloth to gently rub his chest and shoulders as he soaked in the steaming relaxing water.

Tilting his head back, Dean sighed.

"I get it...I'm in heaven now."

Lucy laughed before running her fingers through his damp hair and kissing his forehead.

Once that was over, she brought him back to the bedroom where she dried him off. Making him lay down, she snuggled in beside him and put her arm across his chest.

"Sleep now...keep away the bad dreams."

Dean softly smiled watching her and laid back. He was too wired to sleep, half afraid if he closed his eyes for even a second he would return to that nightmare. Instead he found himself drifting off. Laying there, listening to Lucy breath he wondered what exactly had brought him back...and why?

_**The next morning...**_

The screaming, his bloodshot eyes shifting from side to side. The flashing light, the creatures, the pain...

Dean awoke.

His eyes opened and right away reality shifted and for a brief moment he didn't exactly know where he was. His heart pounded in his chest and that's when he knew it had all been a dream. Laying back he took a moment to let himself adjust to where he was. He found himself in Lucy's full sized bed. He was naked underneath the smooth feeling cool sheets. Underneath his head was her plush pillows. The ceiling fan above was still slowly spinning.

Sunlight poured in through the curtains and Dean blinked. Shifting upwards, he reached to touch Lucy but found her side of the bed empty. Instead he heard the shower going in the next room. Smiling, he laid back before glancing at the ugly burn mark on his arm. This made him feel unsettled, and sick. Taking a moment, he laid there and listened to the sound of the shower. Smiling, he thought it would be nice to go join her.

His body felt worn out, he hadn't had so much energy in what seemed like a lifetime. Lucy had left little love bites up and down his chest, and his thighs felt sore. Lifting the sheet he looked down at himself and smiled shaking his head. Last time he had so much fun in just a few hours was when he was a teenager. Laying there he knew he needed to go to the bathroom and threw the sheet back. Standing up completely naked he stretched, and walked across the room.

His bare feet felt good against the wooden floor before he opened the bathroom door and felt the steam hit him. Looking in he smiled, seeing through the clear shower curtain he saw Lucy showering. Her hair was pinned up and she was softly humming. Smiling he shuffled over to the toilet and held himself before starting to urinate. Glancing over, he smiled seeing Lucy's body through the plastic curtain slowly move back and forth, swaying her hips as she stood underneath the shower head. Humming the same tune, he smiled before finishing and shaking. Standing there he bit his bottom lip before smiling and reaching over and flashing.

Right away Lucy jumped back and screamed before yanking back the curtain a bit and sticking her head out.

"Dean!"

Dean laughed holding up his hands.

"I'm sorry babe I had to."

Rolling her eyes Lucy put the curtain back before Dean smiled. Looking down at himself he grinned and walked over to the tub. Pulling the curtain back, he smiled at her before Lucy turned, in the middle of soaping herself up.

"Yes?"

Dean smiled.

"I'm looking for a Mrs. Winchester, have you seen her?"

Lucy stood a second.

"Humm...Mrs. Winchester, sorry...haven't seen her."

Dean grinned before looking at the shower head.

"Mind if I get in one this?"

Lucy smiled, stepping back.

"Sure, come on it."

Smiling, Dean stepped into the tub, drawing the curtain closed behind him. Smiling, he put his hands on her hips and began to lean down and kiss her. Their lips parting, Lucy smiled up at him before the water soaked the two of them. Dean smiled looking down at her before wrapping his arms around her.

"Dean?"

Lucy asked, smiling. Dean held her closer, kissing the top of her head.

"Shhh...I just wanna hold you for a sec."

They stayed that way until the water turned iced cold.

An hour before Sam and Bobby came to pick them up, Lucy and Dean had dressed. Dean asked what Lucy had been up to and Lucy had been honest, all she had been doing was minding the store and doing less and less hunts since Bobby was worried about her.

"Did you see Sam?"

Dean asked from the table before Lucy poured the pancake batter onto her griddle. Turning she shook her head.

"I tried a few times but he wasn't taking what happened that well...in fact...none of us were."

Dean sighed, he felt horrible having left them alone like this. Sitting in Lucy's bright kitchen he knew he wouldn't make the same mistakes. Sitting there he sighed before looking around.

"That garage downstairs, why don't you ever park your jeep in there?"

Lucy shrugged as she flipped the pancaked over. The kitchen was beginning to smell wonderful.

"I do sometimes, mostly when it snows. The alley is always empty so I usual y park there or up front."

"What's in the garage?"

"Just some storage, I've been meaning to clean the place out...plenty of room, the last owner had some old antique car and there's a lift in there she left."

"Really? I never knew that."

"Yeah, she said her cousin or boyfriend or whoever used to work on the car in there all the time."

"Humm..."

Lucy walked over with a plate stacked with pancakes that were dripping with syrup. Placing them in front of him Dean smiled and looked up at her.

"Trying to make me loose my figure Lucy doll?"

"I can only wish..."

Dean grinned before Lucy put down a plate of bacon and eggs as well. Going to the fridge she took out a tall glass of orange juice and poured it for him before setting down her own plate and sitting across from him. Dean never felt so hungry before in his life. Taking a bite he closed his eyes and moaned making Lucy laugh.

"Lucy doll, you always did cook the best...man I missed this."

Lucy smiled before taking a sip of her own juice.

"There's plentiful where that came from, I'm surprised I haven't lost it. God knows the last time I cooked a real meal."

Smiling Dean ate, asking her more and more about the garage downstairs, finally Lucy raised an eyebrow.

"Why are you so interested?"

Dean shrugged.

"Well I was figuring, maybe I can could that into a real garage. I could make some extra money fixing up cars down there and help you run the store."

Lucy looked at him as he gobbled up his food.

"Seriously?"

Dean looked up.

"Yeah, what's wrong?"

Lucy smiled before shaking her head.

"What about hunting?"

Dean shrugged.

"Might be slowing down on that for a while..."

"Really?"

Dean shrugged.

"Once we figure out why exactly I'm back...yeah, why not. God knows I've been talking about how I could never settle down and be normal...why not now?"

"But Dean, hunting is your life..."

Dean put down his fork and shook his head.

"No, hunting is all I've ever known. You...my wife...your my life. After what happened I now know what's important. I'm not saying we'll quit this cold turkey...but we make a good team. We could hunt together like the old days...maybe figure something out and during the off time I could run the garage and help you mind the store...I mean we can't be running around like this forever."

Lucy looked amused.

"I never thought I would see the day that Dean Winchester would be talking about the future..."

Dean smiled.

"I'm full of surprises...so what do you think?"

Lucy shrugged.

"If we can make it work of course..."

Dean reached across and touched her hand.

"We will make it work, no more excuses and being apart. We're married...so let's act like it."

Lucy nodded.

"I don't want to loose you again Dean..."

"You won't."

Lucy nodded.

"All right then...let's do this."

Smiling Dean nodded, for the first time since all of this happened his mind was at lease. He was comforted and he knew now that he had a future to look forward to. A future with his wife.

_**Later...**_

Pamela was trying her hardest to flirt with Dean as they stood in her house. Lucy meanwhile, dressed in jeans and a T-shirt simply stood back amused.

"Might be you're gain..."

Pamela said after Dean commented on her tattoo. Dean blushed before shaking his head.

"Sorry hun..."

He held up his hand showing his wedding band. Pamela looked at it with amusement before glancing at Lucy who stood back with Bobby.

"You're one lucky gal...got one handsome husband."

Lucy looked at Dean smirking.

"Yeah, he seems to think so."

That night Pamela's accident happened. Her eyes were burned out of her head and she said a name...

Castiel.


	12. Chapter 12

_**2003**_

"_I'm going to fucking kill you!"_

_Lucy screamed, grabbing the pile of dishes she had just helped Bobby dry on the counter and began to fling them at Dean who stood in the doorway. _

_Bobby and John were outside when they heard the shouting, the two of them were knocking back a bottle together and sitting on the front steps. Right away Bobby cocked an ear towards the door before rolling his eyes._

"_Jesus..."_

_He began to get up when John shook his head, handing him the bottle._

"_Give it a second."_

_Things lately hadn't been good. Sam had finally left, and it had been months since John or Dean had heard from him. The last time they had all seen each other, John and Sam got into a pretty bad fight and Sam took off. The last words John shouted to him were to stay gone if he was going. With a slammed door, Sam took off into the night just like that._

_Dean and John had been hunting, but were working more and more jobs apart. Both seemed on edge and it wasn't until John met up with Dean telling him that he was swinging by to see Bobby for another hunt. Dean really didn't seem to care since he had a whole series of hunts lined up ahead of him. John sighed looking at his eldest son before saying..._

"_Lucy is going to be there."_

_Dean raised an eyebrow._

"_Thought she was in Seattle?"_

"_She is, she's visiting and helping Bobby out. She'll only be there for the weekend...thought it might be good for you to go and see her."_

_Dean had to hold back any words he found himself about to say. Out of pure respect he kept his mouth shut even though he wanted to shout back at his father why suddenly he wanted the two of them together after making it his business keeping them apart for so long. Instead he simply sighed and before he knew it the Impala was pulling up to Bobby's house. The first thing he noticed was Lucy's jeep._

_That had been yesterday._

_Bobby was investigating a spirit who seemed to massacre any teenagers who went parking near the old stream. According to legend, years ago this very spirit was a teenager who died in a car wreck on his way to prom in 1955. Several deaths had been linked to this area and Bobby needed some help._

_When John and Dean first arrived, they were welcomed by Bobby who shook their hands, and told them it was good to see them. As much as Bobby and John fought, they still were very good friends and had a very strong understanding. Dean stood beside his father before looking down the hall._

_Lucy stood there._

_She was in jeans and a blouse, her hair cut shorter. She still looked the same, but the last time he had seen her things hadn't been too hot between them. Sighing, he stared at her as she walked down, still wearing those dusty cowboy boots. _

_She stared at him and he stared back._

"_Hey Dean..."_

_She softly said. Dean looked her up and down._

"_Thought you were living in Seattle?"_

"_I am..."_

"_Still with that guy?"_

"_He's dead."_

_Dean just stopped and stared._

"_He's what?"_

_Lucy shoved her hands into the front pockets of her jeans._

"_Died, or at least I think so...he disappeared while investigating that mansion I told you about..."_

_Dean stared at her, honestly not able to find the right thing to said._

"_Jeez, that sucks..."_

_Just then Bobby and John turned, both exchanged looks before Bobby cleared his throat._

"_Um, Lucy is investigating a case in Seattle but she thinks it might be a dead end."_

_John raised an eyebrow and stepped forward._

"_What makes you say that?"_

"_Mansion got torn down just a few months back, ground as been salted and burned. No remains, no objects. Their starting to break ground on a series of condos...I'm in the process of trying to rent one out. See if I can make any contact. More than thirty people over the last century were either killed or went missing there."_

"_Any signs of anything?"_

_Lucy shrugged._

"_The condos won't be built in another few months but so far nothing."_

_John walked over, giving a warm smile._

"_Good to see you girl..."_

_Lucy smiled up at him before John looked over his shoulder._

"_Bobby, you needed to show me something?"_

_Bobby nodded and followed leaving the two of them alone. Dean and Lucy looked at each other before looking the other way. Dean made a face._

"_Wow...awkward..."_

_Instead of staying and talking, he went straight upstairs._

_The next morning, the four of them went up to the creek and tried to track down whatever was causing these deaths. Hours passed until finally dark began to come. Sighing, Bobby rubbed his beard._

"_It's no use, it's a no show."_

_John shook his head._

"_Wait, didn't you say it appears when two teenagers are necking up here."_

"_Yeah so?"_

_Slowly Bobby and John turned towards Dean and Lucy who were clearly trying to ignore each other. Lucy had a scarf around her and was pretending to look somewhere else before Dean stared back at his father and Bobby completely confused._

"_What?"_

_The next thing they knew the Impala was parked near the creek, and Dean and Lucy were in the back seat. Dean was on top of her, and looked up through the window at his father and Bobby. Annoyed he shook his head._

"_Seriously guys?"_

_John nodded._

"_We'll be in the bushes, just do you're thing and we'll be right here when it strikes."_

"_We're not teenagers dad..."_

"_What? Want me in there instead?"_

_Dean glared up at his dad before shaking his head._

"_Good point..."_

_Watching Bobby and John hide a few feet away in the bushes, Dean sighed and looked down. Lucy laid underneath him, arms folded and clearly not amused. Sighing, Dean shook his head._

"_Listen Lucy..."_

_Lucy stared up at him._

"_Let's just get this over with..."_

_Before he could say anything, Lucy tugged on his collar and pulled him down on top of her, kissing him deeply. His eyes widening slightly in shock, he kissed back, not being able to believe her response. After a few moments a noise was heard and Dean broke the kiss._

"_Shhh...hear that?"_

_Lucy waited before slowly nodding._

_Just then the radio clicked on without anyone even touching it. Static sounded for a moment before 'Earth Angel' began to play softly in a very creepy sounding tune. Dean looked down at Lucy and both locked eyes before another sound came from outside the car._

_Dean slowly looked up and saw the spirit. _

_It appeared to be a boy, seventeen or eighteen in a letter man jacket. His glasses were broken and bloody on his rotting face. He grinned looking in at Dean and Lucy._

"_NOW!"_

_He heard his father shout in the distance and before he knew it the sound of the shotgun was fired and the spirit screamed and disappeared into dust. _

_Lucy quickly climbed from underneath Dean and the four of them drove home. Once they got back John and Bobby decided to share the bottle while Lucy headed inside to clean up._

_Dean had walked in, as she finished up by the sink. Crossing his arms he softly smiled with mild amusement._

"_That was some kiss huh?"_

_Lucy looked over at him and rolled her eyes._

"_Oh yeah, it was magic..."_

_Dean leaned against the doorway._

"_Pretty torn up over this guy in Seattle huh?"_

_Lucy shot him a look before putting the dishcloth on the counter._

"_He was a good man, he shouldn't have died."_

"_Did you love him?"_

"_What?"_

"_Did you love him."_

"_That's none of your business..."_

_Dean smirked again._

"_This means no."_

"_Excuse me?"_

"_You didn't love him..."_

_Lucy shot him a look before placing her hands on her hips._

"_You have zero right to tell me how I feel..."_

"_Hey, sounding a little moody over there, strike a nerve Lucy doll?"_

"_Don't call me that?"_

"_What?"_

"_Lucy doll, it's stupid."_

_Dean made a face._

"_Hey, I always call you that."_

"_Yeah well I'm sick of it. God no wonder your brother split."_

_Dean's face dropped._

"_What does that have to do with anything?"_

_Lucy sighed, running her hands through her hair._

"_Dean, I'm just tired, Leave me be okay?"_

"_No...I won't. We haven't seen each other in a while and I think it's time we talk."_

"_Dean I'm leaving in the morning and I need to get some sleep..."_

"_Whoa, that was a quick visit. Why do you want to run back there so fast?"_

"_Maybe because I'm sick of all this bullshit."_

_Dean gave her a look._

"_The only bullshit that's here is the kind you cause yourself. I just want to talk like two adults..."_

"_Dean, you'll never be an adult...just leave me alone..."_

_That's when the arguing really started. Dean became angry and Lucy got annoyed. They went back and forth before finally Dean began to shout at her._

"_JUST RUN AWAY LUCY! ISN'T THAT ALWAYS THE CASE!"_

_That's when Lucy began to throw the plates, swearing at him and telling him to leave. Dean dodged the dishes, before Dean charged at her. Grabbing her by the wrists, she began to kick and scream before shoving him away. Grabbing the knife on the counter she pointed it right in his face._

_Dean held up his hands before whacking it and making it fall to the floor. Grabbing her again he shook her like a rag doll._

"_What the hell is the matter with you?"_

_Lucy shook her head._

"_Go to hell Dean."_

_Shoving away, she stormed upstairs just as Bobby and John came in. Sighing, Dean leaned against the counter and shook his head. He knew Lucy would be storming out soon, and this was just another prime example of how well they worked together hunting, but how horrible they were as a couple. For a brief moment he got the urge to just yank his wedding band off and throw it. Instead he stood there trying to cool off._

"_Go to hell Dean!"_

Lucy opened her eyes.

She had been dreaming.

Her long eye lashes blinked a few times before she looked around at the pale sunlight which was shinning in through the windows of her bedroom. Right away she sat up, her hair slightly messy and tossed aside as she yawned and stretched her arms. Cracking her neck, she found herself sitting up dressed in one of Dean's button up plaid shirts. The smell of him still on it. Sitting there, Lucy sighed before finding herself in her old bedroom upstairs in Bobby's place. She could hear Sam and Dean raising their voices downstairs. Faintly she heard Dean yell to his brother...

"Angel of the lord because it said so!"

She could the tail end of it, knowing they were talking about the angel that contacted Dean the other night. So far Dean had been in utter disbelief over the whole thing and pretty shaken up. Bobby could barley remember anything and from what Lucy heard this angel...Castiel wanted Dean for something. He told him he had in fact been the one who saved him, because it was God's will. After that Dean claimed he disappeared. Once that happened he grabbed Bobby and met up with Sam and her. Lucy decided to close the store for a few days and rode in the Impala back to Bobby's.

"Because why me!"

She heard Dean say.

Sitting up, she remember last night. Dean couldn't sleep a wink. They had drove straight to Bobby's and she could tell he had been bothered by what happened, trying any way to figure out what had happened. Lucy had laid close to him in the darkness, trying to give him any words of comfort saying there was nothing to worry about/ That whatever this thing was, angel or not...it had brought him back and he should be thankful.

Dean sat up in bed, staring off into space before glancing down at her.

"Do you believe it was an angel?"

Lucy looked up.

"My whole life I've seen things that nobody could even believe...if there are demons...why not angels."

"He said God had a purpose for me...why?"

"Because you're not just some regular guy..."

"Yes I am."

Lucy shook her head.

"You can keep thinking that, but it's not true. You're special...and I have a feeling that whatever is going on you should trust it."

Dean sighed before wrapping his arms around her, bringing her close.

"Yeah well...I'm not so sure about that."

Lucy smirked before falling asleep, listening to his beating heart.

Now this morning she heard him downstairs worrying. Rubbing her face she slipped out of bed and went to go wash up. Ten Minuit later she shuffled down the stairs, still dressed in his shirt to find Dean in Bobby's study, looking annoyed. Walking in, she looked around.

"Hey..."

Dean looked up and smiled.

"Hey babe, sorry if I woke you."

Lucy shook her head before standing near the desk he sat at.

"Where's Bobby and Sam?"

"Bobby is outside, Sam went to get me some food...you see I got a little summer reading to catch up on."

Dean held up a huge book in which Lucy squinted at reading the cover.

"Angels..."

"Yeah, trying to find out what the hell is going on."

Smiling, Lucy circled around the desk, standing behind Dean and sliding her hands down his shoulders before kissing the back of his head.

"Need help?"

Dean looked up.

"Naw, I'll work much better once I got some pie in me."

Laughing, Lucy shook her head walking towards the kitchen.

_**The next day...**_

Dean kissed Lucy goodbye as him and Sam went to investigate the sudden wave of hunters being killed. Lucy was staying behind with Bobby.

"Come on Dean we gotta go!"

Sam called from the car. Dean pressed his forehead up against Lucy's before smiling.

"I'll be back before you know it."

Smiling, Lucy kissed his cheek before he pulled away. Watching him get into Impala she watched before waving.

_**Later that evening...**_

"Bobby dinner!"

Lucy called walking into his study.

"Bobby?"

"Hey Lucy."

Lucy froze, it was a voice she hadn't heard since she was a child. A voice that made her freeze right in her tracks, her eyes widening as the color drained from her face.

Slowly she turned and saw him.

Kevin Swann.

He looked exactly the way he did when he died. The last time Lucy saw him was years ago when he was torn apart by werewolf's. He stood in the doorway and smiled.

Lucy just stared at him unable to speak.

Kevin smiled.

"Wow...you got big. I always knew you would turn into a fine young woman."

Lucy blinked.

"Kevin?"

"I know, you're surprised to see me, last time I was...a little taken off guard, I mean when one person's throat is torn out it's a little hard for a proper goodbye..."

Lucy shook her head, slowly backing up.

"You're not real..."

Kevin stepped forward.

"Oh not happy to see me...I see it's because you're a grown woman now. You don't need me anymore...and you're married I see..."

He motioned towards Lucy's wedding band.

"He's nothing like me is he? Remember everything I taught you...remember how many times I fucked you?"

Lucy slowly began to back up when she spun around and began running, instead she ran smack into Kevin. Hitting him was like hitting a brick wall. Falling back hard, she looked up. Blood trickled down her mouth.

Kevin grinned down at her before Lucy heard Sam and Dean outside calling Bobby and her.

"Lucy! Bobby!"

Lucy scrambled before running in the other direction. Finding the back door, she pulled it open and nearly fell flat on her face down the back porch stairs. The sunlight seemed blinding. That's when she ran into Sam.

"Lucy!"

Lucy looked at him terrified.

"Sam!"

"Where's Bobby?"

"I don't know!"

Sam took off towards the junk yard before Lucy glanced back at house. Never in her whole life did she think she would see Kevin again.

She felt like screaming.

"Lucy!"

Sam called, looking at the house again Lucy felt sick before turning around and running.

_**Later... **_

A blast of light came through Bobby's house. Lucy snapped her eyes shut as the ghosts including Kevin disappeared.

They were all gone.

Dean took a second before looking at Sam, Bobby, and Lucy.

"What the hell was that?"

Bobby asked.

Nobody said a word. Lucy stood in the living room, feeling her insides shake. This evening had been a pure nightmare. First they had locked themselves into Bobby's safe room before coming out to send these ghosts back. They had split up and Kevin appeared again. He had chased her, saying terrible things. Lucy shot at him but it didn't work.

He was going to have his way with her again.

She had ran into a room just as Sam shot the ghost who was hurting Dean. It appeared that his hand was in Dean's chest. Collapsing to the ground, he looked up at Sam before Lucy ran in.

She never felt so scared before in her life.

Now they were gone.

Standing there, she looked around before Dean's strong around pulled her close. Kissing the top of her head, he gave her a dull squeeze on her side.

"You okay?"

Lucy couldn't speak.

Instead she just stared.

_**The next morning...**_

Dean awoke.

Lucy and him had slept on the floor. Dean could clearly see that Lucy was upset. They couldn't explain what had happened, but the ghosts were gone. Lucy seemed on edge before Dean promised her they would sleep downstairs and he would stay up and watch out. Lucy laid awake on the hard wooden floor as he held her up against him. Finally after a while, both fell sleep.

Now Dean woke up, Lucy muttered before her own eyes opened. Just then Sam back in and sat on the couch to finish dressing. Dean blinked looking around as both him and Lucy sat up. Sam could see something was wrong.

"What's wrong Dean?"

"So you got no problem believing in God and angels."

"No not really..."

"So I guess you believe in the devil?"

"Why are you asking me all of this?"

Dean stared up at Sam before Lucy's eyes shifted over to her husband. Dean didn't answer his brother, instead he lowered his eyes shaking his head.

"I don't know..."

Turning, he glanced at Lucy.

"Sleep okay?"

Lucy shrugged.

"I'm a little shaken up, but I'm okay..."

Dean sighed before rubbing her back. Sam looked at the two of them before standing up, clearly seeing something was wrong.

"Listen, I'm going to get some coffee...I'll be back."

Leaving the room, Dean and Lucy sat up in silence for a moment before Lucy lowered her head and began to weep. Pure concern spread across Dean's face before he leaned forward, putting his arm around her.

"What's is it Lucy doll?"

Lucy looked up, her eyes slightly bloodshot as tears rolled down her face.

"Just...seeing Kevin...Dean...he was such a sick man. I know he couldn't help it...but..."

Lowering her head she began to cry even harder. Sighing, Dean brought her as close to him as he could before gently kissing her temple.

"It's okay...I'm here..."

Lucy sniffled before wiping her eyes before looking at him.

"Something is bothering you...I can tell."

Dean sighed.

"That angel...I dreamed about him."

"And?"

"I think we're on the verge of some serious stuff...and Lucy doll...I gotta admit it...I'm scared."

Sighing, Lucy rested her head on his shoulder.

"Don't worry Dean...we'll figure something out...we always do."

Smiling, Dean held her and gently rocked back and forth.

"Yep...you're right about that."

Smiling, Lucy roughly wiped her tears away as Dean continued to hold her.

_**The next day...**_

Lucy needed to get back to the store. She told Dean she was perfectly fine and just needed to figure some stuff out. Dean told her he had been serious about wanting to settle down there, but with everything going on it would have to be put on hold.

Lucy said it was fine, but she had to tie up some stuff. She wanted to take some time off but needed to make sure everything was taken care of. Dean mentioned that him and Sam were going to look into a few jobs.

"And the angel?"

Dean shook his head.

"We'll see...that's something I also want to put on hold but I gotta figure stuff out."

Lucy packed and Dean helped before both agreed in two weeks he would call her up wherever he was and she could come on down to help.

"We're put going to make the same mistakes, we gotta stick together...and something tells me you and Sam are gonna need the help."

Lucy said.

Dean felt slightly uneasy about this, he wanted to keep Lucy safe, mostly when he couldn't fully understand everything that was going on, but he knew she was right.

By the time they made it out to the Impala, it was almost dusk. Lucy followed Dean out before carrying the old worn cowboy boots to the trash. She was now wearing sneakers. Dean opened the trunk to put her bags in before glancing over as she dumped them into the cans.

Dean raised an eyebrow before Lucy came walking over. Both locked eyes for a moment before Dean nodded. He was happy for her, she was able to let go...she was free.

Dean smiled before walking around to the driver's side. Opening the door, he got behind the wheel as she walked towards the Impala.

Just then the engine turned on.

Dean sat there as the radio began to turn on by itself. Static at first screamed from it then a hunting song called "Wonderful Wonderful" began to play. It sounded old, and Dean remembered his mother used to play that for him on the old record player she had when he was a baby.

The engine roared to life, Dean hadn't touched it.

Suddenly he felt cold, his breath came out in tiny clouds.

Lucy stood, about ten or fifteen feet in front of the car, the headlights shinning against her confused face.

She stood there before Dean tried to grab the door handle. It wouldn't move.

"Dean?"

Lucy called.

Just then Sam stepped out on the front porch, he watched not believing his own eyes. Just the the gas to the Impala pressed down and the engine screamed. The tires screaming, it raced right towards Lucy. Dean tried slamming his foot against the gas but it wouldn't go down. Trying to move the wheel it was locked.

Dean looked up just in time as the Impala hit Lucy right on. She rolled up onto the hood hard before the Impala began to speed down the road. Sam watched, his eyes huge.

The Impala began to speed, nearly up to eighty miles per hour. The speed kept reaching as Dean tried his hardest to open the doors or slam on the breaks. Nothing worked, something was making the car go by itself. Lucy somehow had been able to hold on. Clutching onto the rim of the hood, she laid flat on the hood, clutching onto it for dear life.

Lucy looked dazed at first, before she looked straight at Dean, her eyes wide and frightened.

"DEAN!"

Lucy screamed as the Impala began to swerve back and forth. Lucy held on with all her might as Dean felt his heart pound in his chest. Pure panic racing through his mind as he tried to break the windows with his elbow. Nothing worked, he was trapped.

"LUCY HOLD ON!"

He screamed over the engine.

The car began to hit the bumpy dark road as Lucy held on looking at him. Her body like a rag doll as the wind hit her. Dean knew if she fell, she would be killed.

"LUCY HOLD ON BABY! JUST HOLD ON!"

"DEAN! HELP ME!"

Just the about five or so miles down the road from Bobby's, the entire car dead stopped. The engine killed, and all of the lights and radio were cut dead. The car lurched forward, and Dean hit the windshield hard.

The tires screamed as everything locked up as Lucy went flying.

Dean for a moment saw black. His forehead was bleeding and his vision blurred for a second. His chest was killing him from hitting the wheel so hard and he thought he cracked a rib. Wheezing, he scrambled for the door handle before falling out of the car hard.

"Lucy!"

He called out, snapping his eyes shut in pain before he got himself up on two shaken feet. Stumbling forward, he looked out on the road.

There was no sign of Lucy anywhere. His big eyes shifted back and forth, searching for her.

"LUCY!"

"Right here."

Dean turned and saw Lucy standing there, dressed in her jeans and one of his shirts. Smile on her face and her eyes...

Black.

Dean froze.

"Lucy..."

Lucy smiled.

"Wrong, lover boy...guess again."

Dean's face crumbled.

"DON'T YOU HURT HER!"

For a brief second he wanted to kick himself for not forcing her to get the protection tattoo. She had so many of them all ready, why hadn't he forced her to get it like him and Sam? Standing there, he held his arm which ached. Something was inside of her, something was inside his Lucy.

Lucy smiled shaking her head taking a step forward.

"Remember me Dean? Hope you don't push this pretty new body I got out a window like my old one."

Dean glared.

"Meg?"

Lucy laughed and snapped her fingers.

"Give the man a prize."

Dean bared his teeth at her.

"I swear to God if you hurt her..."

Lucy waved her hand.

"Oh what? Don't like anyone else inside you're little wife besides yourself? Please I got bigger fish to try...I'm here to deliver a message and if you try anything..."

Lucy produced a knife from her pocket and held it near her chest.

"You're Lucy doll gets it."

Dean stared at her before Lucy smiled.

"I'm here to tell you that there's nothing you or you're little bitch brother can do...my father will rise and that you better watch out."

Dean just stood there, he never felt so scared before in his life. His eyes kept looking at the knife. Lucy took a step closer.

"It's only a matter of time...before we see you in hell again."

Dean just stared at her before Lucy looked down at herself and smiled.

"Wow, I can all ready feel it moving inside, and it's barley a week old..."

Her black eyes lifted and looked at him.

"But this won't end the way you want...you Winchesters are all the same...you're cursed."

Just then Lucy laughed before winking at Dean. Tilting her head up towards the sky, the horrible screaming sound filled the air as the black smoke traveled upwards and disappeared. Lucy compassed.

Right away Lucy looked up, tears running down her eyes. She was normal again, and very scared.

"Dean?"

"Lucy!"

Dean went running to her.


	13. Chapter 13

"Lucy..."

Lucy tossed her shirt off in a frenzy before undoing her jeans with shaken hands. Dean stood, leaning against the bathroom wall with his arms crossed. He watched as she undressed and quickly jumped in the shower.

"Do it Dean!"

"Lucy you're fine now..."

"DO IT!"

Sighing Dean grabbed the barrel from Bobby's basement with the holy water. Sighing he walked over before going towards her.

"Shut you're eyes."

Lucy shut her eyes as he poured the holy water on her, soaking her. Right away Lucy began to shake as it drenched her hair and skin. Finally Dean stopped pouring and took a step back, setting the barrel down. Staring at her, he shook his head and grabbed a towel.

"Come on."

Lucy wiped her eyes before staring at him.

"That thing...got inside of me...Jesus Dean..."

Dean nodded, he knew these last couple of days had been horrible on her and he felt responsible, Opening the towel he wrapped her in it, gently rubbing her sides.

"Shhhh, it's all right."

"She knew when to enter me, when I was scared and taken off guard...it felt horrible Dean..."

Dean looked her over, he had asked nearly a million times if she was all right, if any was broken and if she felt fine. Lucy seemed on edge, but besides a few bruises seemed perfectly fine. Bobby and Sam had taken a double look over the Impala and it seemed fine.

Lucy wrapped the towel around her before stepping out of the shower, her eye makeup was running and she looked a wreck. Going to the mirror, she sighed loudly before Dean stared at her. Lucy looked up and saw him.

"What?"

Dean stared at her before taking a step forward.

"You feeling okay?"

Lucy gave a humorless laugh before shaking her head.

"Dean in this past week my husband has returned from hell, he ghost of the man who used to molest me came after me, and I was thrown off the Impala and a demon possessed me..."

"No, not that...I mean really are you feeling okay?"

"Yeah, I mean I'm sore as hell...but I'm fine why?"

Dean stared at her a moment longer before shaking his head.

"Nothing..."

That night Lucy decided to stay an extra night. Both Dean and Lucy stayed back in the guest room. Lucy dressed and Bobby came upstairs to see if everything was all right. By then Dean was sitting up in bed while Lucy finished washing up in the bathroom. There was a knock on the door before Bobby came in with a glass of water.

"Hey."

"Hey."

"Lucy still up?"

Lucy walked out wearing one of Dean's shirts, her hair drawn back and her face freshly clean from washing up. Walking over she weakly smiled. Bobby looked at her as a father who would look at his only daughter with the sweetest love in his eyes.

"Hey girl, how you holding up?"

Lucy shrugged.

"My back hurts like hell but I think I'm okay."

"Listen, take one of these..."

Bobby opened his hand and a small white pill sat in his palm.

"Its one of mine, it will help you sleep, pretty heavy stuff."

Lucy stared at it before Dean glanced over and cleared his throat.

"Um, I think she'll be all right...besides I'll be with her."

Lucy looked over and warmly smiled before Bobby rolled his eyes.

"You guys make me sick."

Laughing Lucy kissed Bobby on the cheek.

"Thanks anyways Bobby."

Bobby wished them a good night before Lucy turned off the lights and crawled into bed beside Dean. Sitting beside him in the dark, Lucy deeply sighed before looking at him.

"Guess this will take some getting used to again?"

"What?"

"This life, I've slowed down in the last few years, just a lot is happening."

"Lucy I'm sorry..."

"It's not your fault..."

"No it is."

"No it isn't...all that matters is that you're back, I can handle everything else."

"Like the end of the world?"

"Even the end of the world..."

Faintly smiling Dean leaned over softly kissing Lucy before his hand went down and cupped her breasts. Moaning through the kiss, Dean closed his eyes and his hands began groping her more roughly. Lucy pulled away before smiling.

"Come on...help me keep away the bad dreams..."

Gently, Lucy began to stroke the crotch of his jeans. A smile began to creep up on Dean's face and everything was forgotten. He was here, and he was with his wife...and nothing was ever going to happen to them.

Or so he thought.

At that exact moment Sam tossed and turned trying to sleep in the other room.

He was dreaming...

_A nursery. _

_It appeared to maybe be in the guest room in Bobby's. Sam knew those two windows that looked out to the back yard where that old rotting apple tree was and the tire swing Dean, Lucy, and himself used to swing on._

_The nursery was painted a teal color blue, and there was matching throw rugs down on the hard wooden floors. A crib was near the windows and as Sam walked towards it he saw a baby, a few months old laying in it. The baby had gorgeous big green eyes and was dressed in a white one zip up suit. Beside it was a stuffed zebra and elephant. It stared up at Sam and giggled, gurgling something and kicking it's feet._

_Sam smiled down._

_Just then the mobile over the crib began to slowly move, playing a hunting tune that made Sam uneasy. The tiny dancing animals gently swung back and forth before the lights flickered. _

_Sam then saw a drop of blood land on the baby's pillow. Sam froze._

"_Not again..."_

_Slowly as his eyes drifted to the ceiling..._

Sam woke with a start.

He had been dreaming. Sweat rolling down his face he gasped for breath before looking around. Taking a second, his heart racing in his chest he tried to settle himself down before laying his head back.

No, it wasn't a vision...just a nightmare...

He hoped.

_**Three weeks later... **_

Dean needed to see Lucy.

Sam and him has just gotten off a very strange case and a middle aged man named Jack was dead. Sam torched him and yet another hunter was dead.

Dean had also learned a great many things in these few weeks.

The first was, his mother Mary had been a hunter as was her parents who was killed by the yellow eyed demon. She had made a deal with him, which resulted in her death ten years later...

"_On November second, 1983...don't get out of bed."_

His heart ached thinking about it. No matter how much he tried, he hadn't been able to save her. History could never change and here they were.

The other thing he learned was his brother was using his power, the same power that bastard demon gave him to exorcise demons. He was also working with Ruby, that bitch who double crossed him the day the hell hounds came.

Sam had made a promise, he wasn't going to use his powers anymore.

Yet Dean just didn't trust it.

Between seeing his parents, both who he missed beyond words, and knowing his brother was battling something much more powerful, it was all beginning to see too much. The thought of these angels wasn't leaving his mind, and the more time that went on, the more he got scared.

Lucy had returned to the store, they called nearly every night and Dean had privately told her what was going on. When he talked about seeing his parents, he stood against his car outside of one of the motels they were staying at holding back tears.

"I saw her Lucy...I tried to warn her. She died because she wanted a family...that's all she wanted..."

Dean shut his eyes as tears rolled down his face and Lucy took a deep breath on the other line.

"Dean, do you want me to come out?"

Dean rubbed his eyes and shook his head.

"No, it's just between that and Sam...it's been a lot...I just really wanna see you that's all."

"Then let me come out."

Dean shook his head.

"No, I'll come to see you soon...I just miss you Lucy doll...a lot."

"I miss you too Dean."

Now Dean was heading back to the store. They were in between jobs and Sam said in another week or so there might be one in Pennsylvania in another week or so. Dean offered for Sam to come along and he said he would in another day or so. Dropping him off at a motel, Dean drove feeling excited. It had been almost a month since he had seen Lucy and he was hoping the next job he could take her along.

Somehow she was his comfort and he knew she would make him feel better after everything that was going on.

Reaching the store, he parked the Impala and got out. Grabbing his bag, he had some flowers he bought for her just down the street. Grinning, he knew she would roll her eyes over this, but he wanted to surprise her. Typical they weren't the kind to exchange gifts.

Seeing the open sign, he smiled and went in, the bell over the door jingling. Inside the smell of apple cider and spice filled the air. He saw two older women looking at displays. Smiling, he looked around and didn't see Lucy anywhere, not even behind the counter. Walking in he looked at the two older women who glanced in his direction.

"Hello..."

Dean kept looking around.

"Um, is the owner here...sorta short brown hair, dark eyes?"

"Oh yes, she went to run upstairs, poor dear doesn't look too well..."

Dean's forehead wrinkled before he walked down the steps.

"Oh yeah?"

One of the old women nodded before holding up a vase.

"Could you ask her to hold this, we're heading to church and I would love to pick this up tommrow."

Dean nodded.

"Um yeah sure..."

The two old women smiled as they walked past him. The bell jingled again and Dean was left alone in the store. Smiling, he flipped the open sign to closed and began to walk towards the stairs. Setting down his bag, he held the flowers and climbed them.

"Hey Lucy!"

Dean walked up and stared at the empty kitchen before hearing something in the bathroom. Pausing, he stood there for a second before hearing Lucy dry heave and loudly gag. Concern filling his eyes, he put the flowers on the table and hurried to the bathroom.

"Hey Lucy..."

Stopping, he stood in the doorway before Lucy just finished flushing. She was knelt down by the toilet wearing shorts and a T-shirt. Her hair was drawn back and she looked pale.

"Lucy?"

Lucy looked up, her eyes surprised.

"Dean..."

"Jesus what happened?"

Lucy waved her hand before standing up and wiping the back of her mouth with her hand before going to the sink.

"Oh I'm just peachy...coming down with a virus or something..."

Grabbing the mouth mash she took a swig before spitting it into the sink. Sighing, she leaned against the sink as Dean closely looked her over.

"You okay?"

"Yeah...just my stomach is upset, are those two ladies still downstairs?"

"Naw, they headed out, wanted you to hold a lamp or a vase or something for them?"

Lucy rolled her eyes.

"Jesus, I thought they would never leave...the past few mornings my stomach has been off the wall."

"I put the closed sign up for you."

"Thank God..."

Lucy smiled, tiny circled underneath her eyes. She looked exhausted. Walking over she put her arms around his neck before drawing back.

"Shit, I don't wanna get you sick."

"Shut up..."

Dean hugged her before kissing her pale lips with his full plump ones. Lucy smiled, she looked drained...in fact she looked exhausted.

Dean raised an eyebrow.

"You're only sick in the mornings?"

Lucy nodded, brushing back some of her bangs.

"Yeah, I hope I can beat this soon or I'll have to go to the doctors."

"Um..."

Dean bit down on his bottom lip before smiling.

"I don't think you have a virus."

"Oh yeah?"

Lucy let go before going to the sink and screwing the cap back on the mouth mash. Dean couldn't help but smile as he looked at her.

"Yeah...I think you got yourself a nice case of morning sickness."

Lucy stared at him.

"What?"

Dean laughed.

"I think I finally did it Lucy doll...I think I knocked you up."

Lucy rolled her eyes.

"That's not funny Dean."

Dean laughed putting his hands in his pockets.

"Hey, I'm just stating the facts...don't tell me your late right?"

Lucy make a face before walking past him.

"Your gross..."

Dean laughed before turning and following her into the kitchen. Lucy had picked up the flowers and was smelling them.

"Dean these are gorgeous, you didn't have to..."

Dean smirked before standing in the doorway.

"Why don't I go the drug store and pick you up a test..."

Lucy shot him a look.

"Dean stop..."

Dean held up his hands in defense.

"What? I'm just saying..."

Lucy brought the flowers over to the sink before taking an old vase down and filling it with water.

"I don't have time to get pregnant...please that's the last thing we need."

Dean smirked walking over.

"Hey, we've had plenty of time to get pregnant, and why not? Why couldn't it happen to us?"

Lucy looked at Dean before smirking.

"Keep thinking whatever you want to think Dean, I'm too tried..."

Dean laughed.

"That settles it, I'm buying a test."

"Dean..."

Before she could say another thing Dean was heading down the stairs.

_**Later. **_

Dean was sitting at the kitchen table drinking a beer. Lucy was in the bathroom. He had swung by the drug store and for the first time in what seemed like since he had returned he felt happy. Truly happy...

For the moment he wasn't thinking about monsters, or demons, or angels, or anything else. For a brief moment he felt normal. He was at his wife's store and he knew deep in his gut she was pregnant. Maybe this was the way the two of them could start going on the living a normal life. He had thought this in the back of his mind ever since Meg took over and said that thing to him...

He had never once really thought about children besides that time with Ben. After all the woman he had, children was the last thing from his mind. But ever since he got back from Hell...and he knew how important Lucy was...why not? Maybe he could have the family his parents had always wanted.

Just then Dean's phone rang. Grabbing it from his pocket, he flipped it open.

"Hello?"

"Hey Dean, looks as if we need to hit the road sooner than we thought."

Dean frowned

"Found a job?"

"Yeah, I'll meet up with you later, might be a couple of weeks, got a few lined up."

"A few weeks?"

"Yeah, I know it sucks, maybe Lucy can come with us? She always has a good head on her shoulders. Might be nice to have the backup."

Dean eyed the bathroom door and sighed.

"Yeah maybe, Lucy is...well she hasn't been feeling too hot, but I'll talk to her. Listen, I'm sorta in the middle of something, I'll call you back all right?"

"All right man, I'll give you a call in a couple of hours."

"Sure kiddo, bye."

Shutting the cell, Dean made a face before rubbing his palms on his jeans. He knew another job would of course happen. He knew that this was their life and whenever he thought they could just sit down and pretend to be normal, reality would hit him in the face. Sitting there he sighed before Lucy appeared in the doorway.

"Who was that?"

Dean suddenly snapped out of his thoughts and worries, looking up at his wife he smiled.

"Sammy..."

"Another job?"

Dean rubbed the back of his neck.

"Yeah, we're meeting up later...maybe I can make him hold off for a couple of days, all this driving I'm about to go crazy."

Lucy smirked.

"Please, you love driving...'

Dean tried to smile before he stood up and walked towards her.

"Maybe you could come with? Shut the store up for a few days? You and me, front seat of the Impala...Sammy in the trunk..."

Lucy laughed before making a face and holding up the plastic strip.

"Um, I don't think I'm in any condition to be working any jobs..."

Dean's eyes widened as he looked at the test.

Blue.

"It's positive?"

Lucy laughed before playfully hitting Dean in the chest.

"Well Dean Winchester you did it now...you knocked me up. What timing...end of the world coming up and everything..."

Dean took a step closer and looked at the test and suddenly everything went away. Any worries or memories of Hell, death, his father, demons, monsters, jobs, or angels faded. At this exact moment he was twenty-nine years old and standing with his wife. He was just like another other normal guy on the verge of thirty and he just found out he was going to have a family.

A real family.

Something his mother and father always wanted.

A huge smile spread across his face.

"You're...sure?"

Lucy smiled back.

"I took two other ones, I'm pretty sure."

Standing on her tip toes she wrapped her arms around his neck and brought him in close, nuzzling her face against his. Dean looked at the test before the most overwhelming hit him. Laughing he put his arms around her, squeezing tight he lifted her off the ground making her drop the test.

"Whoa!"

Swinging her around, Dean laughed before Lucy began to crack up.

"Careful! Lady with a baby here!"

Dean held her close, trying to think of how his father reacted all those years ago when his own mother told him that she was pregnant with him. Holding her tight, Dean whispered in her ear...

"Thank you..."

_**Two days later...**_

"A baby?"

Sam grinned as Dean smiled at the diner they were eating at. They were on their way to that job in Pennsylvania. Dean thought it was best if Lucy stayed at the store. He had just told Sam that he was going to be a father.

Sam kept grinning before reaching across and shaking Dean's shoulder.

"Dude that's awesome!"

Dean sat back, he had honestly never felt so happy before in his life.

"I know can you believe it? Did you ever think you would see the day?"

Sam smiled.

"It's about damn time Dean...is she freaking out?"

Dean smiled.

"We're a little scared but we've faced worse."

"Not a baby though...whoa, this is unreal."

Dean smiled.

"I know it sounds cheesy but, but...I don't know, this is the first time in a really long time I'm happy Sam. I mean I never thought I would be the type...and God knows there's a lot to figure out, mostly with what we do...but as long as Lucy is safe we'll be fine...I just can't believe it, a baby. Maybe my life does have some purpose besides what these angels want...I mean before going down below...I couldn't believe that besides a car I had nothing to leave behind. Now I got more to life for."

Sam smiled.

"So I'm going to be an uncle...awesome."

Dean smiled before sitting back.

"I don't wanna miss anything, but Lucy said she's fine...God, you should have seen her face when she took the test, I almost died."

Sam smiled looking at his brother.

"Good for you Dean, you deserve to be happy finally."

Thinking of the baby, Dean kept drinking his beer before nodding.

"Yeah...you know something you're right."

_**Chicago... **_

Lucy walked out of her doctor's office feeling slightly overwhelmed. She had made the appointment right after Dean left with Sam. Dean told Lucy not to say anything since he wanted to break the news to Sam himself. That morning Dean couldn't stop smiling as he packed his bags.

"Whoa Dean stop."

Dean stopped standing in the kitchen, his bag thrown over his arm. Lucy smiled, she honestly hadn't seen Dean so happy in what honestly seemed like forever. For a man who just returned from Hell, he looked as though nothing could break this mood he was in.

Not even angels.

"What babe?"

Lucy softly smiled.

"Listen, I'm going to make an appointment with my doctor in a few days...for all we know the test was a fluke."

Dean made a face.

"Lucy, those tests are like 100% positive, trust me you're pregnant."

Lucy walked over, smoothing down his T-shirt with her hands.

"I just...don't want you to get too excited."

Dean frowned.

"Why? Lucy...this is huge...we're going to have a baby, be happy...it's about time."

Lucy smiled up at him softly.

"Just be careful."

"You be careful...and you too..."

Dean knelt down by Lucy's perfectly flat stomach and smiled before pressing his ear against her.

"You gonna be good for you're mamma?"

Lucy looked embarrassed, she had never seen Dean act like this before.

"Dean..."

"Shhh, we're taking here."

Dean said looking up before putting his ear against her stomach again.

"What's what? You're going to drive a classic car when you grow up just like your daddy?"

Lucy rolled her eyes before pulling Dean up who was smiling.

"What?"

Lucy made a face.

"Listen, be careful on you're trip please..."

"And you call me after you go see the doctor's, and if you need anything you call either me or Bobby okay?"

Lucy nodded.

"I will."

"Call me tonight?"

Lucy laughed.

"I will."

Sanding on her tip toes she gave him a quick kiss before standing in front of him. Dean then did something which wasn't like him. He wrapped his arms around her and hugged her as tight as he could. Kissing her head he whisperer softly in her ear...

"I love you Lucy doll..."

Now a few days later Lucy was walking across the parking-lot to her jeep. Her purse hanging off one shoulder, and a file in her hands. Inside was her blood work results, the first ultrasound, and a few booklet including her vitamins.

She felt slightly overwhelmed and scared, but somehow deep down inside she was excited and happy. Her whole life she never saw herself as the type to have children. That she would ever be a mother. Growing up she never really got the chance to be a little girl. She had seen and went through horrible things. Her life was knowing that nightmares were true and that any chance for a normal life would never happen.

Yet, Dean and her somehow were trying to make it work. She was married to him, and they were making it work despite everything. Their past was behind them now and now that Dean was back, Lucy knew there wasn't anytime to second guess anything.

She was pregnant.

The doctor said it was early but everything looked fine.

Getting into the jeep she dialed and couldn't help but have a smile nearly matching her husband's when he left town. After a few rings Dean picked up.

"Hello?"

"Hello Mr. Winchester."

She heard him lightly chuckle on the other line.

"Hello Mrs. Winchester."

"And how are you?"

"Driving out of Pennsylvania, you wouldn't believe it...shape shifter."

"Get out."

"Oh yeah, and this sick freak was pretending to be the Universal monsters."

"Like in the monster squad?"

"Yeah, but old school...black and white."

"Get it?"

"Yeah, and it was Octoberfest..."

Lucy smiled.

"Oh no..."

"Yeah I kicked back a few beers for us. Bought a round for everyone to celebrate the fact that my wife is expecting either a Dean or a Dena Jr."

Lucy shook her head.

"Oh Dean, you're too much..."

"How how are you?"

"Good, just got out of the doctors..."

"Oh yeah, how did that go I was thinking about you today."

"Good, I am indeed pregnant."

Lucy heard Dean laugh on the other end before saying something along the lines of …

"I told you Sammy!"

Just then she heard Sam yell over the sound of the engine...

"He's been a total panic in the ass Lucy! I've never seen the man so happy! It's annoying!"

Lucy laughed before she heard Dean tell Sam to screw off. Finally Dean got on the line again.

"So what did the doc say?"

"Said everything looks fine, going to see him in another month or two or a check up."

"Did they do that photo thing with the baby?"

"Ultrasound?"

"Yeah that's it."

"Yeah, but you can't make anything out, just a little blip. It's like the size of a bean right now."

"A bean huh? Well I can't wait to see...;"

"When you coming back buddy?"

"We got a few more jobs lined up, but I'm going to try and see you next week if I can."

"No hurry Dean, I'm perfectly fine...the store hasn't been busy and Bobby keeps seeing me,"

"Anymore of that morning sickness?"

"Yeah, but that's normal."

"Yeah well, I'm going to be seeing you soon...I'm not spending the whole pregnancy working cases and away from you. I'm gonna do what normal husbands do..."

"Which is?"

"You know...hold you're hair back when you puke...take you to the doctor's...buy you pickles...whole nine yards."

Lucy laughed.

"Well I'll take to you later."

"All right Lucy doll, I'll check in on you later."

"Bye Dean, love you."

"Love you too."

Hanging up, Lucy smiled looking at her phone before starting the engine to her jeep.

A few days later as the ghost infected Dean, making his heart a ticking time bomb, he began to worry about Lucy but tried to block it out. When Lilith got him alone in the motel room, and his heart began to throb, he kept praying he wouldn't die.

He just wanted to see his wife again.

A few days later another case turned up in which Sam insisted they had to take. A man choked to death on a bunch of razor blades a few days before Halloween.

Dean had been calling Lucy twice a day. So far she seemed fine. She told Dean the store hadn't been busy and she was feeling much better now. Dean didn't go into detail about what had happened and how he had seen Lilith since he didn't want to worry her.

After the whole Halloween thing happened. Dean was left by Castiel in the playground. It had been a weird last couple of days, and he had seen Sam use his power.

The truth was he scared him to death.

He sat there watching the children playing and his heart ached.

He hoped someday he could take his kid to the park. To push him or her on the swings. Watch them go down the slide. Watching these little kids he knew more than ever how badly he wanted to be a father.

He wasn't going to miss Lucy's pregnancy. This baby was special. In all manners speaking, it shouldn't have even existed.

This was his hope, this was his future.

He wasn't going to screw this up.

He decided to work another job before going back to his wife before the holidays. He wasn't going to screw this up, he wanted to be with his wife. He had all ready once all ready, and he wasn't about to leave his wife again.

The wishing well case happened and more visions and nightmares kept flashing upon his eyes. Images of his bloodshot blood grit covered face watching the flashing light and seeing all those horrible things come at him as he was being torn apart.

Finally he admired to Sam before they left that he did indeed remember it. But he wasn't about to tell him nor did he want him to mention it to Lucy.

"But Dean..."

"No, I'm serious. Lucy has gone through a lot...she doesn't need to worry anymore. Right now the most important thing to me is Lucy and this baby...and I don't wanna loose them. So promise me...promise you won't say anything."

Sam nodded

"All right Dean, I promise."

A week later Dean made plans to go back to Chicago. He just wanted to go back to his wife...and his baby.

_**Chicago**_

Lucy had just finished blow drying her hair.

She missed Dean.

She was trying to be understanding. She knew he had a lot going on, and just like Sam, she knew no matter how much they tried, they could really never be normal. She knew the reason why Dean was so excited about this pregnancy was because he wanted so badly to try and be normal. To try and have the things his parents couldn't.

But she felt uneasy.

Maybe this was a mistake.

Never before in her entire life did she think she would be the type to be a mother. Her whole life had been so messed up she was even surprised Dean and her had been trying so hard in making his work. Lucy knew the reason they hadn't killed each other was because of how lost she left after he had been killed. Now they had their second chance, and she truly believed God did have a plan.

Yet a baby?

She was terrified.

She prayed this wasn't going to hold him back or put him in danger. Lately she had been having these weird dreams, mostly about angels...Castiel.

He kept shaking his head at her, and every time she woke up she felt scared.

Now alone in her store she wondered if this was a mistake. Honestly, how could the two of them bring a child into this world if it was beginning to end?

Nervously playing with her wedding band, she leaned against the wall.

She prayed for an answer...she prayed that everything would be all right.


	14. Chapter 14

_**Chicago **_

_**Four months later...**_

Dean smiled as he parked the Impala in front of Lucy's store. Getting out, he whistled to himself before going around to his trunk and opening it. Grabbing his bag, he smirked at a little something he picked up after heading back from the latest job with Sammy.

It was a stuffed elephant.

He got it at a small gas station where they sold junk for tourist. Stuff like hats, sunglasses, postcards, and wind chimes. It wasn't until Dean saw the gray and blue elephant the strangest feeling came over him. Looking at it he couldn't help but smile. He had been so busy working jobs lately, he really hadn't taken the time to enjoy the fact that he was going to be a father. Of course it seemed as if this was the only thing he could think about. Most nights as Sam laid beside him in the dark motel rooms, he would lay awake worrying about Lucy and what was going to happen with the baby.

He truly believed his family was cursed, but he wanted more than anything to change that. He wanted this baby to have something he never had...choice. He wanted to raise it with a clean slate, the chance to be normal. To have a normal childhood, to grow up and not have to worry about angels, demons, or whatever monsters there were out there.

But of course he wondered how this was going to work. He wondered how Lucy and him would be able to have this family and somehow keep it safe and away from all of this. Lately Dean had begun to see things he never thought were possible and it was scaring him. The same question that had crossed Lucy's mind kept repeating over and over again.

How could they bring a child into this world if it was ending?

But then he would think of how good it would feel to finally hold his baby in his arms. He remembered how disappointed he felt when he learned Ben wasn't his. How lonely it felt, and he wasn't even in love with Lisa. Now after all these years, and after what he had seen and done in Hell...he knew for certain he loved Lucy, and that this baby was a miracle and no matter what, they would find a way to make this work.

One thing he was hating was the fact he was missing so much.

He knew he still had a job to do, and needed to keep his head on straight, but the fact was he missed Lucy more than ever now. He honestly never thought he would be the type who would want to be a father, but here it was. His wife was back home, alone and without him and carrying his baby. He promised himself and even secretly prayed that everything would be all right. That Lucy would be fine, and so wouldn't there baby. That was all that was important.

He wanted to be a good husband, he wanted to be there for Lucy and not miss one thing. He also wanted to be there when his baby came into the world. He knew somehow no matter what, he would figure out a way to make this work, and be the best father possible.

He bought the elephant knowing all ready enough time had passed. Lucy and him called nearly every other day. They would tell each other whatever was going on and of course Dean would ask what seemed like a million questions about how she was feeling.

Lucy had been splitting up her time between Bobby's, and the store. She had been pretty tired, but was cutting back on her amount of work. She had help, and her last few visits to the doctors had gone well. The baby looked healthy and was growing, it killed Dean to know he was missing these and kept promising her that he would make it to the next one and how badly he wanted to be there.

Lucy said she was starting to gain weight slowly and had a little trouble sleeping. Besides that she felt perfectly fine and wasn't even getting weird cravings. She was taking good care of herself and honestly never sounded happier.

Dean wanted to be with her more than anything.

Sam noticed how much he was worrying and whenever Dean would finish calling Lucy he would ask how she was doing. Dean finally admired that he wished he was back home...and that he was starting to regret not being there.

Picking up the elephant he felt normal for once. He hadn't been involved much in the pregnancy and doing this made him feel like any other husband picking up something for his pregnant wife. Buying this he knew he was buying a gift for his baby and it made him feel good.

He grabbed his bag and the elephant and went up the stairs. The open sign was up and Dean opened the door, hearing the bell jingle above his head. Walking in, he saw sunlight pour in through the main windows. There was Lucy behind the counter, checking out a middle aged man. She appeared to be wearing a blouse and her hair was tied up. She was putting something in a brown bag for the man and smiled at him.

Dean stood at the bottom of the steps heading up to the store in awe. Lucy never looked more beautiful. He looked at her as if he hadn't seen her in years. She was perfect in nearly every way and it seemed just like yesterday she was that shy little girl with the pig tails that arrived at Bobby's.

The man smiled and walked down the steps past Dean when she looked up and saw him. Right away she smiled, her eyes were a lovely dim color, her bangs slightly fallen over her face. Her lips a peach color, and her smile making him remember exactly why he had wanted to come home to...

She quickly walked behind the counter and Dean honestly saw how quickly time was passing by.

Her loose fitting blouse revealed over her blue jeans that she was indeed pregnant. There was a slight bump showing and her face seemed fuller. Dean had heard pregnant woman glowed, but this was crazy. He had never thought she looked more beautiful.

"Well, well, well...look what the cat dragged in."

Dean grinned, he tried to speak but couldn't seem to find the right words. Finally he smiled to himself and shook his head.

"It's just...you look..."

Lucy rolled her eyes looking down at herself.

"I know, I'm huge..."

Dean dropped his bag by his feet and began walking over to her.

"No...perfect was the word I was looking for."

Lucy smiled before Dean stared down at her.

"Wow...looks like I've been missing a little too much for my own good. How's my Lucy doll doing?"

He gently brushed back her bangs before Lucy motioned around.

"Oh just same old same..."

"How's my baby doing?"

Lucy looked down at herself.

"Well, daddy came just in time. We have a very important doctor's visit in a few days...we get to find out if we're a boy or a girl."

Dean smiled.

"No way, you can tell that all ready?"

"Yeah, I was going to wait and have it be a surprise but those people who paint the nursery yellow or green...it's annoying."

"Speaking of nursery, I got a little something."

Lucy raised an eyebrow.

"Oh yeah?"

Dean held up the elephant and made a face.

"I know it's dumb but..."

"Awe, that's sweet!"

Dean rolled his eyes before Lucy took his hand and pressed it up against the small bump of her stomach. Dean smiled before leaning in close.

"Say...is it safe to..."

Lucy looked up smiling.

"To what?"

Dean grinned.

_**Later... **_

Dean laid back in bed, Lucy was on top of him as he held her by her hips. Slowly she pumped her hips up and down and tilted her head back in pleasure. Dean's hands slowly slid up, cupping her breasts as he closed his eyes and began to moan.

Outside thunder sounded in the distance.

_**The next morning...**_

Dean felt slightly out of place and awkward at Lucy's doctors. On the ride over, he had filled her in with more detail about the jobs they had been working, besides that left out details about the angels. He knew this stuff made Lucy nervous, and he didn't wait to upset her. He tried his hardest to sound as if things were looking up. Lucy of course knew better and just sat there listening and nodding.

In the waiting room, Dean sat beside Lucy as she flipped through a magazine. He thought it was so funny that nobody here would have any idea that Lucy once killed a vampire with an ax. Or that she used a cross bow and took out some zombies, or that she knew how to load and restock any gun faster than any other girl he knew.

She was a hunter, yet here she was playing the part of the pretty young twenty-something that ran a store downtown and was expecting her first child. She sat there in slacks and a sweater, reading a magazine as Dean nervously shifted in his seat beside her.

He had really never gone to a regular doctor and seeing all these other pregnant women made him feel uneasy. He saw a few of them all sit around looking at him and smiling.

Finally they were called and Lucy changed into a paper gown. Sitting on the table, she waited as Dean paced back and forth.

"Jeeze, it's always like this?"

Lucy looked and smiled.

"Like what?"

"Waiting, I mean damn, what the hell does this guy do?"

Lucy waved her hand at him.

"Dean relax."

Just then the doctor came in, an older man with a kind smile.

"Why hello Lucy, how are you doing today?"

Lucy smiled when the doctor turned and smiled at Dean offering his hand.

"You must be Lucy's husband Dean, I've heard so much about you...you;'re a truck driver for the East coast?"

Dean and Lucy exchanged a quick amused look before Dean smiled and shook the doctor's hand.

"Yeah, just got off the road"

"Dr. Anderson, but please call my Peter. So came today to find out what you two kids are having huh?"

Dean stood back as Dr. Anderson spoke, he seemed like a friendly enough guy but he couldn't help feeling slightly on edge as he touched Lucy and asked her questions. Finally the time came where he asked her to lay back and he turned the lights off. Dean took a seat beside Lucy as Dr. Anderson wheeled in a machine and sat down on a stool beside it.

"All right this is going to feel a little cold..."

Lucy nodded as he opened her gown. A moment later he squeezed some clear gel on her stomach and Dean's hand slipped into hers. Watching closely, Dean watched as the doctor took a paddle and flicked the machine on before waiting a second. Finally he moved the paddle across Lucy's stomach and spread the gel around before the screen on the machine flickered and lit up.

Dean squinted at first and saw nothing, he didn't know if it was just him or the fact everything looked blurry. Lucy laid back, looking completely peaceful as the doctor moved the paddle around.

"Don't mind the slight pressure, just wanna check something..."

Dean looked at the doctor.

"Everything okay?"

The doctor smiled.

"Of course...and here it is."

He doctor pointed, see the outline of the head, and the spine..."

Dean squinted again before making out the blurry image. Right away his eyes drifted down to Lucy's stomach and he couldn't believe something that came from him was living in there. It seemed amazing. Staring at the screen again the doctor turned towards them.

"Do you want to hear the heart beat?"

Lucy and Dean nodded before the doctor flicked a switch and the sound filled the room. Dean grinned as he looked at the screen in complete wonder. Lucy and him made this.

"Does everything look okay?"

The doctor nodded.

"Baby is a little large, but that's normal. If I had to guess you're going to end up having at least a ten pound baby."

Lucy rolled her eyes.

"Great."

Dean laughed before the doctor looked at them.

"So are you ready to learn the sex?"

Dean and Lucy looked at each other before Dean nodded. Never before in his entire life did he feel so normal and happy.

The doctor moved the paddle around for a moment before smiling.

"Well, from this position I'm going to say you two are going to have a little boy."

Boy.

They were having a boy. He was going to have a son.

His heart froze in his chest. Right away his eyes widened and for a brief second tears filled them. Staring down at it in disbelief he blinked and continued to stare.

"A son...I'm gonna have a son."

Glancing over at Lucy Dean smiled and had the sudden urge to want to kiss her. Looking at her he smiled before leaning closer to the screen. Had Dean known this, in the future when one day he would go to Heaven, this would go as one of the happiest moments of his life.

_**Later...**_

Dean couldn't hide his excitement. The second they left the doctor's office and the ultrasound photo was printed he grabbed his cell phone as Lucy and him drove home and began to make calls. The first was Sammy who picked up sounding half asleep. Dean drove grinning and told his brother that Lucy and him just got back from the doctor's, and they just found out there's a new Winchester boy on he way.

Sam sounded speechless for a moment/

"You're...having a boy?"

Dean smiled.

Sam of course sounded blown away and kept saying how amazing that was. Dean invited him over for a beer to celebrate his son, but Sam sounded strange on the phone and said he wasn't feeling too hot but maybe later on in the evening once he got some sleep. Slightly disappointed, Dean said sure and then called Bobby. The second he told him that Lucy was having a boy he heard Bobby laughing on the other line.

"Wonderful, another Winchester boy I'll have to look after."

Dean had his cell on speaker and both Lucy and him laughed.

After that it dawned on Dean either Lucy nor himself had any real close to share the wonderful news. Hitting them right away that they were hunters, and any way of a normal way to raise this baby was going to be harder than they thought. But neither one of them wanted ti dwell on this. They were happy and beyond excited. On the way back Dean bought Lucy a sundae as he kept looking at the printed out ultrasound photo in amazement.

A boy...they were having a boy.

By the time they got back home it was beginning to rain and the two hurried in. Lucy had closed the shop for the afternoon. Going in, they laughed as they shook themselves off from the rain and hurried upstairs.

There Dean watched Lucy put her things on the table before he walked over and spun her around. Lucy laughed looking up.

"What?"

Dean stared down at her.

"Nothing..."

He leaned down, kissing her gently on the lips before his hands began to move and tug at her blouse. Lucy smiled through the kiss before Dean scooped and picked her off the ground, carrying her to the bedroom. Lucy laughed as she kicked off her shoes and Dean laid her down on the bed.

Lucy right away began to pull down her slacks as Dean undid his jeans and belt. He was sweating and couldn't help but see his hands were shaking. A moment later he hovered above Lucy before spreading her legs. Smiling down at her, he took a moment before looking unsure. Lucy laid back and seemed puzzled.

"What?"

"I'm not going to...crush him am I?"

Lucy laughed shaking her head.

"Jesus Dean..."

A moment later Dean was on top of her, kissing her gently down the neck as Lucy's nails clawed into his deeply tanned back. Nuzzling his face against hers, he said that he loved her and grabbed her by the wrists and held her arms above her head as he posited himself. Lucy smiled looking up at him before cocking her head to the side.

"How does a girl like me get so lucky to end up with a guy like you?"

Dean smirked.

"Must be faith or something awesome...I am pretty amazing."

Lucy laughed.

"So, any ideas on what we're going to name this little kiddo?"

Dean looked down at her, slowly moving inside of her as the bed underneath them creaked. Staring down, he smiled and his eyes flickered for just a moment.

"How about John..."

Lucy smiled.

"I think that sounds wonderful."

Leaning down, Dean kissed her before whispering...

"Thank you..."

Lucy laid underneath him as he moved and said...

"For what?"

"For giving me a son."

Lucy held onto Dean tighter as he picked up the pace and pressed the side of her face against his. Her hand gently touching his burn welt on the side of his arm.

For the first time in a very long time, things seemed to be okay.

_**Later that night...**_

It was raining hard and Lucy sat upstairs on her couch eating an apple and reading a paperback book. Dean meanwhile sat on the other end, Lucy's legs laying across his lap as he researched on his lap top.

Yawning, Lucy put her book down before handing him her half eaten apple.

"Want the rest?

Dean glanced over.

"You're not hungry?"

"I'm tired."

Dean made a face.

"You've been tired a lot...you okay?"

"Yeah...just sleepy..."

Lucy handed him the apple before turning on her side and shutting her eyes. Dean watched her for a moment before softly smiling and rubbing her leg.

"You doing okay kiddo?"

Lucy cracked open one eye.

"Yeah...just nice to have you here."

Dean smiled before taking the bite of the apple and going back to the computer. Just then Dean's cell began to ring, grabbing it off to side table he answered it.

"Hello?"

"Hey Dean it's Sam."

"What's going on dude."

"Nothing, going a little stir crazy...you wanna grab a few drinks down the street?"

Dean thought about it.

"Um, I'm kinda just relaxing here with Lucy..."

Lucy cracked open one eye again.

"That Sam?"

Dean looked over.

"Yeah..."

Before he could do anything Lucy took the phone and grabbed it.

"Hello Sam?"

Dean raised an eyebrow watching her before Lucy smiled, not hearing Sam on the other line.

"Please do take my husband out, he's been cooped up with me and I think he needs a drink. Remember he wants to celebrate the fact he's having another stubborn Winchester boy on the way..."

Laughing Lucy nodded.

"Okay, bye Sam."

Hanging up she handed Dean his phone. Just staring at her he smiled.

"And what was that?"

"You need to get out, get some air...have some fun."

"Come on Lucy..."

"Go, I'm just gonna sleep the rest of the afternoon."

Dean smirked before shutting his laptop.

"You sure?"

Lucy stretched.

Dean watched her, rubbing her arm.

The truth was, as much as he loved excitement he hadn't been happier than just sitting in the store relaxing with her. Just yesterday Dean was thinking about to himself where they would put a crib. Laughing to himself, he couldn't believe him...Dean Winchester was acting like just some regular guy who was about to be a father.

He just hoped that no matter what was happening, it wouldn't affect his life with Lucy.

"You sure you'll be okay?"

Lucy sat up.

"Jeez Dean, you act as if I'm not a hunter."

"Yeah well, my memory fools me when I remember you're pregnant and carrying my child."

Laughing, Lucy kissed Dean's cheek.

"I'm taking a nap, say hi to Sam for me."

That night in the bar Sam got drunk and began to make foolish bets at pool. That's when Ruby showed up and told them about Anna.

Dean didn't want to go. He didn't trust Ruby and he also didn't want to leave Lucy again. But Sam insisted and brought him back to the store. By then it was late and the rain had gotten worse.

Dean crept into the bedroom where Lucy was sprawled out.

She was wearing one of his shirts and looked fast asleep. Standing in the doorway he crossed his arms and just watched her for a second. There weren't many times he got the chance to do this and at this exact moment he didn't want to be anywhere else besides there. Sighing, he knew he had a job to do.

Walking over he sat on the edge of the bed and gently shook Lucy.

"Hey babe."

"Hey..."

She said in a sleepy voice. Softly smiling Dean rubbed her legs.

Dean smiled leaning over her and opening her mouth with his. Shutting his lips he kissed her deeply as he held the side of her head with his hand. Kissing her before sitting up, he smiled and pressed his forehead against hers.

"Love you Lucy Doll."

Lucy smiled up at him.

"You gotta go don't you?"

Dean frowned.

"How did you know?"

"I thought I heard you and Sam outside...has to do with the angels?"

"Maybe...I don't trust me but Sam going off alone..."

Lucy nodded.

"It's okay."

"It's three hours away, I shouldn't be more than a few days...I really don't want to go..."

"But you have to, you're brother needs you."

"Yeah, but that Ruby bitch is involved, I don't trust her."

"Yeah, me neither...but go do what you gotta do...Sam shouldn't be alone, most of all with her."

"Shit..."

"What?"

"It's just...I'm always leaving, every time I promise myself I'm staying for good I'm dragged back out..."

"It's because this is our life. I would go out there with you...but..."

She looked down at herself and smirked.

"I just wanna be careful."

"I swear..."

He took her hand and squeezed it.

"I swear...that once this is all over, I'm staying with you for good, and with the baby."

Lucy shook her head.

"Dean, we're not normal...and God knows everything is trying to tell us we're crazy for even trying to do this, but it isn't impossible. I mean most would say with everything happening...we would have to be insane to try and bring a child into this world...and trust me, I don't think either of this thought it would ever happen. But we love each other, and we both know this baby is special. So, we just need to remember what's important. We..."

Lucy looked down at her stomach.

"We got a little boy to think about now?"

Dean looked at her stomach.

"For my mother, I'm going to try and respect her memory and do what she tried to do...I'm going to damn well try not to let him live a life like us no matter what. I want him to have a childhood we never had."

Lucy smiled.

"I'll be waiting here for you when you get back."

Kissing her lips softly, he touched her flat stomach before nuzzling her face.

"I'll see you later Lucy Doll."

Lucy sat up.

"See ya..."

Dean had a funny feeling, an odd feeling that he couldn't explain. Staring at her, he would never forget how she looked sitting up in bed. Smiling at him.

He knew in time he would tell her about hell...but not yet. Not yet, Turning, he walked out.

The next night when Sam and Dean were injured in the motel room, all Dean could think about was how badly he wanted to be home. He hadn't even gotten the chance to tell Sam he was having a little boy. He had put the ultrasound photo in his bag.

No, he was too busy dealing with Anna, and the angels that were after him.

Tragically, Dean ignored this inner voice that kept pounding inside of him.

_**Chicago**_

It was almost Thanksgiving.

Bobby was down South working on a case and Lucy spend the day alone, going over the books and polishing the tables downstairs. She was planning on opening that weekend, since usually she didn't hold the big sales all the other massive stores at the shopping malls held. There was always the usual crowd, and she knew there were some pieces were was planning on getting rid of. She kept herself busy, and hadn't heard from Dean.

She expected to hear from him but so far nothing. She hoped everything was all right. She didn't eat much and changed into jeans and a blouse. Putting her hair up she cleaned the tables and display cases. Humming to herself, she listened to the wind howling outside.

Unknown to her Dean was busy trying to keep both Heaven and Hell away.

Lucy went upstairs to grab more polish when she began going down the steps when she froze.

Joe stood there.

She could have sworn she had locked the door.

"Joe..."

"Hello Lucy."

Lucy bit down on her bottom lip.

"Joe...what are you doing here?"

Joe grinned before bowing his head.

Raising him, pure black eyes appeared.

"Just wanna send a message to you're husband Dean, that's all."


	15. Chapter 15

"_**You have a wife?"**_

_**Anna asked in the junk yard as Dean and her leaned against the Impala. At that exact moment a million worries raced through Dean's mind. The angels were saying they were going to take him back to Hell if he didn't give them Anna.**_

_**The thought of going back made his entire body fill with chills.**_

_**He thought of going back to that nightmare and living that all over again. The pain, the screams, the blood...**_

_**And Lucy and his son, never knowing what happened. Never being able to see his baby be born.**_

_**He knew he should call her, it had been almost two days but with everything going on he didn't trust it. He didn't want to leave anyone or anything any hints to where she was. At this exact moment he knew she was safe, and so wasn't his baby.**_

_**Glancing over at her he nodded.**_

"_**Yeah..."**_

"_**What's her name?"**_

"_**Lucy."**_

"_**That's pretty...she's carrying your child."**_

_**Dean raised an eyebrow.**_

"_**How did you?..."**_

_**Anna smiled.**_

"_**You love her a lot don't you?"**_

_**Dean looked at her.**_

"_**Yeah...I do."**_

_**Anna stared at Dean for a brief moment, with nothing but pure pity showing in her eyes. Dean sensed it for just a moment before Anna turned away and walked into the darkness.**_

_**At that exact moment, something horrible was happening...**_

_**Chicago**_

_The only thing Lucy could think of was her baby._

_She had to make sure this thing didn't hurt her baby._

_Slowly she backed up one step, remembering the knifes she had hidden upstairs. _

_Joe's black eyes shinned up at her._

"_You know...you shouldn't have broken my heart little lady, now you have to pay the price..."_

_Lucy slowly shook her head._

"_Joe please..."_

_Joe raised his hand and an unseen force knocked Lucy backwards like a ton of bricks. Hitting the steps hard, Lucy yelped out in pain before Joe raised his hand again and rose Lucy up in the air, knocking into the wall before crashing through the railing and dropping to the ground below._

_Lucy blinked, before Joe laughed and raised his hand again. Lucy tried to hold onto the wooden boards before the unseen force dragged her up and crashed into one of the display boxes. Tumbling down, she hit the ground hard before slowly picking herself up._

_Her palms and arms were cut badly, and her head pounded. Lucy felt a horrible aching in her sides before Joe stormed over and kicked her in the ribs. Screaming, Lucy rolled over before she crawled through and sat halfway up in the broken glass, cutting herself worse._

"_Please..."_

_Joe's black eyes glared down at her before Lucy felt a horrible cramp of a pain, snapping her eyes shut she utter a helpless cry of pain before looking down._

"_Oh God no...please no..."_

_The crotch of her jeans were bloody._

"_My baby..."_

_Lucy said as another horrible wave of pain hit her. Joe laughed._

"_Oh no, Dean isn't going to be happy about that..."_

_Giving her a good kick again, Lucy screamed and fell over holding herself. More than ever, she wanted to see Dean. If he was here none of this would be happening. Scrambling away from him, she slipped in the broken glass before getting to her feet. She felt the blood run down her legs and she thought for a second she was going to pass out. Praying, she hoped her baby was okay. That was all that mattered._

_Half stumbling to the back of the store she knew if she made it to the back exit she would be fine. Bracing herself, she half tripped down one of the steps leading to the other level before she stopped._

_Sitting on one of the tables appeared to be a metal box. There was a timer on it. Lucy froze and stared at it, knowing exactly what was going to happen next. Joe stood behind her laughing._

"_Guess we got the last laugh, huh Lucy doll?"_

_Standing there, Lucy held her breath as her heart pounded as the timer went down to..._

_Zero._

_Lucy shut her eyes._

_And the explosion went off, the entire store blew and the fires could be seen nearly six blocks away._

At that exact moment Dean had just finished telling Sam about what he remembered in Hell, and how long he did spend down there. Both were having a beer on the side of the road against the Impala. Dean felt tears roll down his face as he finished telling his baby brother what he did, and how he could never forget what had happened.

Sam sat back in silence.

"How am I ever going to be a good father after what I did Sam? How?"

He asked in a half choked voice, tears still running down his face.

"I wish I didn't feel anything Sam..."

_It took nearly five hours to put the fires out. All two stories of the store was destroyed. In the end the only things left was the chimney and the frame of the staircase. Everything else was just a pile of smoking ash and wood, chard by the fire. The surrounding buildings got only a little damage since most of them were brick. Only a few windows were blown out, and all the neighbors stood across the street watching as the fire department fought to keep the fire down. Everyone stood watching saying the same thing over and over again._

"_I hope Lucy wasn't in there." _

_It was too early to exactly say what caused it, some said it might be a gas leak. Watching, they saw Lucy's jeep parked, and the few who had it called her cell, only getting her voice mail._

_All began to worry..._

_Lucy was a friendly young girl who had been running that shop for the last couple of years. She kept to herself and nearly everyone who knew her had been in the store before. She was a pretty little thing that usually didn't talk much but was as friendly as the next person. Bettina Anderson who ran the small book store down the block knew Lucy fairly well, and understood she had just gotta married a few months ago. She rarely spoke about him, but mentioned he was in sales and usually on the road. Nobody had his number, in fact nobody could remember his name._

_A few hours later what was left of Lucy's remains were found._

_**Three days later**_

Sam and Dean were heading back to Chicago.

Dean had confessed what he remembered about Hell, and since then Sam kept glancing at him with heartbroken eyes. This was the last thing Dean wanted, he didn't want to be pitted, He was supposed to be the strong one, he was supposed to be the one who didn't worry or get scared. Thinking back on telling him everything, not able to face him as he broke down he felt terrible. Now all he wanted was to go home to his wife. He didn't care about demon or angels, or the fact the world was ending. All he cared about at this exact moment was going home to his Lucy doll...and his baby.

He was going to be a father.

A son, he was going to have a son.

After all these years, these screw ups, the drinking, the women, the fighting. After everything he had seen, had killed. After Hell, he finally saw what was important. He understood this was his life, and mourned the fact his parents were never able to have the life they dreamed of when they were younger. He knew no matter what there was no escaping what Lucy and him were, but he promised himself he was going to try everything to make sure his baby would grow up and have everything he never had.

He was going to make this work.

He swore it.

Just then his cell went on, reaching down into his front pocket of his jeans, he pulled his cell out as Sam glanced over. Flipping it open, Dean drove with one hand.

"Hello?"

"Dean?"

It was Bobby.

"Hey Bobby, get a nice tan?"

Dean grinned.

Just then he heard Bobby's voice, flat and almost dead sounding. Something very much unlike him.

"Dean...you need to get back."

It took Dean a second as he continued driving, his smile slowly fading.

"Bobby? What's wrong?"

"Dean, just come back...hurry."

"Bobby..."

The phone hung up and Dean held it back confused before Sam looked over.

"Everything all right?"

Dean shrugged.

"Bobby, he sounded strange...hold on."

Dean dialed Bobby's number from his contact list before calling. He waited but it just rang. That's when something hit him.

Yesterday he had tried calling Lucy, twice in fact but each time he just got her voice mail. He felt horrible he had forgotten to call her earlier, but his first message he laughed and explained a lot had happened in the next few days, and that she wouldn't believe him when he told her.

When he called again and got her voice mail he figured she was either working downstairs or out. He tried calling again before they got on the road but hung up after the third ring, not really thinking much about it. He had done this before, there were plenty of times he couldn't get a hold of her, in fact the longest call wise they went was nearly two weeks. Lucy was a busy woman, but lately she had really slowed down.

Also she had never been pregnant before.

A tiny pang of worry filled him. He wondered if she was all right, if everything was okay. He hadn't heard from her, and what if something was wrong with the baby? He didn't want to think that, God knew he had been worrying enough. Holding onto the steering wheel, he began to press down on the gas again.

He used his free hand and dialed his cell again.

It rang and rang and rang before Lucy's voice mail came on.

_Hi It's Lucy, sorry I'm not here,leave a message!_

Dean took a second before waiting for the beep, he felt a flutter inside his stomach which wasn't good.

"Hey Lucy Doll, it's me Dean. I've been trying to get a hold of you...me and Sam are on our way so give me a call...love you."

He clicked the phone shut before Sam glanced over.

"Everything okay?"

"Yeah, just...Lucy isn't answering her phone and Bobby sounded upset, try giving them a call on your cell."

"You think everything is all right?"

"Sam please."

Dean snapped, right away Sam looked at him as Dean tried to clear his throat and pretend he wasn't bothered. Sam sighed before reaching into his pocket and calling both numbers. Both rang, and there was no answer.

Dean pressed the gas down to nearly ninety, speeding as fast as he could.

They got there nearly two hours later.

Dean drove down the side streets, trying to hurry, missing lights. He had the worst feeling, and didn't like the fact either Bobby or Lucy were answering their phones. Finally he saw the road block.

"What the hell..."

A police officer walked over to the car as Dean rolled down his window.

"What seems to be the problem officer?"

"Road is closed, few blocks down, gotta turn around."

"What happened?"

"Fire, store a block away burned down, explosion."

Dean's eyes widened as everything froze. Sam sat there completely stunned and before he could react Dean yanked open his door.

"HEY!"

The officer yelled humping back, Sam hurried out, trying anything to stop his brother.

"Dean wait!"

Dean took off running, past the road block and as fast as he could down the street. Sam hurried behind him. There were a few more police officers, but mostly the street was deserted. It was nearly dusk now and the sky had a strange blood red tint to it. The air was cold and Sam ran as fast as he could after Dean, calling after him, begging him to wait.

Dean ran ahead, ignoring his brother's calls. At this exact moment his mind was blank, all that kept racing through his head was the same thing over and over again, praying that it was some other shop.

"Please let it be another shop, please let her be okay, please..."

Dean ran past the corner before stopping dead in his tracks.

He saw what was left of the store a few yards away and everything went black.

He saw the fire trucks, the police, and the few people left watching from afar. The entire store had burned down, there was nothing left. Right away Dean's eyes widened as big as they could.

"NO!"

He ran as fast as he could, legs pumping before a few police officers stopped him.

"Sir wait!"

"MY WIFE IS IN THERE!"


	16. Chapter 16

"_Lucy, this is John and his son Dean Winchester, their friends."_

For Dean the image of Lucy, just a little girl standing in those over sized cowboy boots, jeans, and a dirty gray hoodie with pig tails flashed before his mind as he stood outside the smoking remains that used to be his wife's store. It seemed just like yesterday he looked at Lucy, either nine or ten in pigtails standing behind Bobby at his house, her lovely dark hazel eyes casting down upon the floorboards. Dean remembered from that point onward...he had been in love.

Now he felt exactly how he felt watching all those doctors and nurses helplessly work on his father in the hospital. How he felt so frozen, still out of body but unable to remember a thing. How he felt as if he was an actor playing a role and his cue was he just stand back in complete shock, unable to speak or move.

No, this couldn't be happening...it couldn't.

Not Lucy, not his Lucy...

He stood there as a few police held him off and he stared at the ruins that once was the remains of Lucy's store. This was where he truly believed he could get a clean break. That maybe, just maybe he could figure out some way to make it work and start living like a normal person with her.

This was the home he planned on raising his son in, giving him something he never had.

Choice.

Now he looked at all the blackened ruins and that horrible empty feeling overcame him. He knew depe in his heart that he had been too late.

Lucy was dead.

He stood there for another second before wanting to fight through the police, run up to the still smoking remains of the building and yell for her. This had to be some sort of joke, he knew it. Lucy wasn't dead...no it couldn't be. Just some cruel joke that was all, just some joke that wasn't real. In another second or two she would come out of the back of some ambulance, besides a few scratches and bruises perfectly all right. She would walk up to him, exhausted looking and wrap her long slender arms around his neck.

An accident maybe, but he knew the truth in the bottom of his heart this had been on purpose. It had either been the angels or demons...they knew Dean had gone away, they knew he had been so busy with all this stupid bullshit with the world ending. They knew his mind had been a mess lately and wasn't thinking straight and went away with his brother easier than they all thought. They knew Lucy next to Sam was the closet thing to his weak spot. She was everything to him even though it took years to finally see it. She was his wife and truly the only woman that mattered to him and after he climbed out to Hell, he saw she was the only one in the end that would still be there.

She was also carrying his unborn child. His son.

Dean had never taken any further thought of children until these past few months. This was a reality and he knew soon a lot was going to change. He was going to be a father, and suddenly he would understand what his father had gone through. There would be more things to fear other than monsters.

Why had he left them?

Standing there his eyes widened as he looked at the ruins of his wife's store when Sam ran up beside him, out of breath and freezing as he looked at what was left.

"Jesus..."

Dean quickly looked at one of the police officers.

"Was anyone inside?"

He felt panic begin to rise in his voice before Sam gripped his arm. The office walker over holding his hands out.

"Guys, please stand back..."

Dean was about to lunge at the officer when Sam sensed it and stepped forward, speaking in a low calm voice.

"Excuse me, my brother's wife Lucy Win...Singer this is her store, was she inside?"

The officer's expression changed and right away both brothers knew it. Dean stood there, his insides shaking, ready to fall if Sam hadn't been holding onto him.

"Um, please come with us..."

Dean began to slowly back up shaking his head.

"No...no...where is my wife...where is she..."

Dean began saying with a shaken voice.

"Dean..."

"NO! WHERE IS SHE?"

Suddenly the world began to spin. The smell of burning oil and smoke became thick as he stood there trying to keep his balance before his vision blurred and darkness over took him.

"_Come on Lucy Doll!"_

_Dean called. Lucy ran up, a healthy beautiful teenager. Dressed in a Guns and Roses T-shirt and torn tight jean shorts. Her hair was dyed and styled. Laughing, she ran up behind him and jumped on the back of him. Giving her a piggy back ride, he let her jump on his back before feeling her strong arms and legs wrap around him. Laughing, he felt her kiss his neck before walking down the porch steps. _

_John and Bobby were in the kitchen having a couple of beers and watching them with mild amusement. __It had been a year or so since the accident at the motel, and things had settled down. John still brought Sam and Dean over to Bobby's, but kept an extra close eye on Lucy and Dean, the tension lately had been bad enough, and he didn't want anything to get in the way._

_Bobby mentioned it had been stupid on their parts, but to just let them be kids, it only happened once._

_Remembering Mary and him, he sighed watching them._

"Dean?"

Dean's eye lids fluttered open, his head pounding he took a moment before sitting up straight, not completely sure of where he was or what had happened.

He was sitting in some sort of doctor's office, he was on a bench and Sam was right beside him. Blinking, he took a second before his brother's hand went to his shoulder.

"You all right man?"

Dean felt like his head was swimming, sitting up he coughed and looked around. It appeared to be a doctor's office, but something more of a clinic, maybe part of a police station or something. Just then he saw Bobby walk over, his eyes red and puffy, and his hands in his pockets.

Dean sat up straight before looking around, still not exactly sure where he was. The last thing he remembered...

His eyes widened.

"Where is she?"

His chest felt like it was getting hit with a pile of bricks, He sat there waiting for them to say Lucy hadn't been there. That she was out when the fire or explosion happened. That she was perfectly fine and worried about him. Waiting to see her walk through one of those frosted glass doors on the other side of the room.

Sam and Bobby exchanged a look and Dean saw it, his heart began to pound.

"What is it? Where is she?"

Bobby lowered his head, unable to look at him.

"Son, there was an explosion...their looking into the cause. It was bad. I've talked with the police and used our fake ID's. Lucy's name was clear through...their investigation the cause but...I just came up from downstairs...they had me ID some remains they found at the store when the fires were put...o-out...there were certain features that helped m-me...s-see...it was Lucy...her wedding band was..."

Bobby's voice broke down as his shoulders sagged and he began to weep. Dean just sat there with a emotionless blank look on his face. Sam sat there, his eyes in pain as he watched his brother.

"She...was inside?"

Sam took a deep breath,

"Dean, I'm so sorry..."

Dean shook his head.

"Was she inside?"

Sam nodded as Bobby roughly wiped his eyes.

"Yeah...she was, we think the explosion was set."

Dean stared at Sam before without even so much as another word, he pulled his handgun which was tucked in the back of his jeans, hidden and put it to his temple. Sam's eyes went huge.

"DEAN DON'T!"

Bobby's head snapped up just in time as Dean stared at his brother, tears of anger going through his eyes.

He then...

Pulled the trigger.

A loud click went through the air, the pleasant sound of relief since the chamber was empty. Sam let out a gasp before Dean pulled the trigger again, and again, and again.

The gun wasn't loaded, it just loudly clicked.

Sam could have sworn Dean just loaded it the day before.

Bobby stared, stunned at Dean before Sam stared at the gun in disbelief. Dean looked at the gun before his face crumpled and he threw it across the room. It hit one of the metal desks with a clank and went spinning underneath it.

Dean lowered his head and a helpless horrible sound came from his throat.

All Sam and Bobby could do was just stand there in shock and watch.


	17. Chapter 17

Bobby dealt with the police

Sam stayed with Dean until dawn, the fire inspector had wanted to speak with him but Bobby said he was Lucy's father and that Dean was in shock and unable to speak. The two stepped out into the hallway and talked for a while until a friendly middle aged nurse came in.

She mentioned that her husband was a police officer and asked her to stop by and check in. Dean had simply just sat beside Sam not saying a word. His head was in his hands and his breathing seemed labored and horsed. Sam simply just sat by him, watching him closely, unable to say any words of comfort. All of this had happened so fast, and he was scared.

He had grown up with Lucy and thought of her as a sister. The two had been very close and he knew how much Dean loved her. So many memories, mostly happy ones drifted in his mind. Lucy in pigtails running around Bobby's junk yard. Them all swimming out at the lake. His dad taking all of them to the drive in. How they used to stay up watching scary movies, how beautiful she became as she grew older and how deep down inside he felt a tiny pang of jealousy that Dean had been the brother she fell in love with. How he watched them make so many foolish mistakes, yet how clear it was that they loved each other. He loved her like family, and knew how important she was to his brother. He had been so happy that Dean and her had worked past heir problems, she was what kept Dean level headed. She was the one who had helped him get through everything.

He had been looking forward to being an uncle, even though he truly didn't believe they couldn't be normal.

Now she was dead.

It had happened too fast, and the plain and simple truth was...there was nothing they could do.

The nurse offered Dean something to relax and produced a syringe. Dean looked up, his eyes bloodshot and heartbroken.

He just stared at her before glancing at Sam who simply nodded. Not saying a word, he pulled up his sleeve and the nurse knelt down. Unwrapping the syringe from it's plastic, she injected him and said this was just something that would calm his nerves.

Dean said nothing.

The nurse warmly smiled, and rubbed Dean's shoulder.

"You need anything else you just come get me, I work here until seven. Try to get some rest hun."

Sam thanked her while Dean's eyes looked down, the nurse left and a few minutes later Bobby returned. For the first time in what seemed like forever, he looked old. He walked in, shutting the door before dragging a stool over in front of them. Sam watched as Dean unrolled his sleeve and looked at him.

"It was set wasn't it?"

Dean said in a low horsed voice. Bobby sighed, rubbing his beard before nodding.

"They aren't sure yet, they have some people from the city combing over the area, they said they want to gather as much evidence before dawn when they start loosing it. They got some fire marshal looking into it and some inspectors. They said they found some remains of what could have been explosives set, it isn't exactly solid evidence but they think somebody wired a bomb...something simple that guys like you and me could have rigged. All you need is a few sticks, wires, and a timer...enough to make a pretty good bang. They said their almost posting it was set but like I said they aren't too sure. I would...bet anything that it was."

Sam felt his heart drop and saw Bobby struggling.

"They said it was instant, and when the explosion hit it also got the boiler down in the basement. They said it was most likely on the first floor, they also found remains of somebody else..."

Dean sat forward.

"They are in the middle of trying to ID the body but their almost positive it was a man by the name of Joe Briggs from Texas...he was an old boyfriend of Lucy's. I met him once or twice. Not the brightest fellow, didn't know anything about what we all do, but he was a nice guy. Lucy said things sorta fell apart with him after you went to Hell Dean. They found his truck parked a few blocks away. I'm thinking whoever or whatever did this...took over Joe. Either he had a key or used him to have Lucy let him in."

"Maybe Joe was crazy maybe he..."

Sam began before Bobby shook his head.

"No, I don't think so...I got this funny feeling and I..."

Bobby took a second gulping before taking a heavy breath. Dean's face crumpled before suddenly Sam's eyes widened. Cas appeared, trench coat and all standing across the darkness of the room. His face appeared calm.

"Cas..."

"I heard what happened..."

Dean shot up like a bullet and marched over, his eyes wild.

"WHO DID IT! WHO?"

Cas remained calm before looking down.

"It appears the demons were the ones who murdered your wife, whispers are all over Heaven. It seems the demons didn't much like that we saved you from Hell."

Dean grabbed hold of Cas' collar and slammed him up against the wall, right away Sam and Bobby jumped up.

"Dean..."

Dean's face crumpled as he slammed Cas into the wall, hard enough to break the plaster.

"Bring her fucking back...you have the power I know you do. Bring her back."

Cas slowly shook his head.

"I know you are upset but..."

"Damn right I'm upset, my fucking wife is dead...you do whatever little spell you need to do but you bring her back now!"

"I'm sorry...I don't have the power. I all ready tried to find her, but it seems the arc angels won't allow me to investigate. They said it's too dangerous."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean? Is she in Heaven?"

"I don't know, most likely yes but I can't find her. They must know the demons were part of this and used to get to you...if I could Dean I would bring her back, but I can't...I'm sorry..."

"No, your lying...I know you can find her, just bring her back...I'll do anything...please...bring her back...please..."

Cas just stared at him before Dean began to shake. Tears filled his eyes before he gripped Cas tighter.

"Please..."

Cas' face remained the same.

"I'm sorry..."

Dean let go before shaking his head, glaring at Cas.

"Haven't you bastards done enough to us? What did my Lucy ever do to you guys? She believed, she prayed...why? What did she or my baby ever do to any of you feather wing assholes? I know you can do it...please..."

Cas didn't say a word, he just stood there as Dean stood before him, pleading and looking helpless.

Looking around the room, he then looked around and saw all the helpless and blank faces around him. All he wanted at this exact moment was his wife. He just wanted to wake up and for all of this to be a bad dream. Compared to his father's death, Hell, and every other horrible thing that had happened to him, this was the worse. He knew he wasn't going to make it through this.

If God wasn't going to help him, he would just do something else. Shaking his head, he swore and ran out before Sam could even call after him. Running as fast as he could, he felt his heart pound and found his keys in his pocket. Sam most likely put them back there. He heard Sam yell after him but he blocked it out.

He was going to get his Lucy back and pretend this was all just some bad dream. He was going to get her back tonight, even if he had to die in the process.

Later

"COME ON!"

Dean screamed at the top of his lungs in the middle of the crossroads. It was freezing out, and as he breathed his breath came out in heavy clouds. Looking up at the moonlit sky, he screamed even louder, feeling his pulse pound in his temples.

"COME ON DAMNIT! SHOW YOURSELF! COME ON!"

Dean's throat became horsed as he felt tears stinging his eyes, finally his screams became broken and helpless.

"Please...show yourself...please..."

Dean's legs buckled and he fell hard onto the gravel, looking up at the star lit sky his chest heaved as he began to beg.

"Please...take me. Please..."

"Dean Winchester."

Just then Dean froze, looking over he saw a woman, mid twenties, sexy with long dark hair wearing a cocktail dress. A smirk was on her face and for a moment Dean saw her eyes flicker black. Dean stared at her, his eyes growing wide as he stumbled up to stand.

"You..."

The woman held up her hands in defense while still keeping her cool.

"Whoa, easy there...thought you wanted to talk."

Dean walked over, trying his hardest to keep his control. He had driven as fast as he could and nearly killed himself in the process. He was still in shock, crazy, and unable to let the reality of what happened sink in. At this exact moment he was running on whatever this was, grief or anger. To him at this exact moment Lucy wasn't dead. No, she hadn't been killed, she was alive...of course she had to be. He had known her half his life, she was his soul mate, his wife, his friend, and the mother of his unborn child.

He couldn't let what happened sink in yet even though it had only been a few hours. No, his wife's remains wasn't in the morgue, her store, her home...their home wasn't destroyed. She hadn't been inside, he hadn't left her. No, things were going to be okay, she was waiting for him.

He knew deep in his heart if this wasn't true...he would kill himself. He had lost everything, and his only hope for ever being happy or sane was Lucy. As rocky as their past was, they had been able to make this work after everything, they saw how important they were to each other and were ready to start a family.

"Dean Winchester, ready to make yet another deal. You know for a man who just escaped Hell and is on the demon most wanted list...you sure like to sell your soul any chance you get."

Dean glared at her.

"Was it you guys...that k-k...killed my wife?"

The demon smirked.

"Hey I'm just a sales rep, the big guys don't ever let me know what's going on...but I did hear the tragic news. Lucy Singer Winchester...man I heard the way she died...sucks."

Dean had the urge to rip her apart, instead he just stood there, making a tight fist by his side. His fingernails digging into his palm, causing to bring thin blood.

"I want to make a deal, take me right now and bring her back."

The demon smiled rolling her eyes before shaking her head.

"Sorry Dean, no deal. This isn't like before...I'm unable to. Little Lucy is gone."

"BRING HER BACK YOU BITCH!"

Dean screamed feeling his pulse race. The demon just looked amused.

"Sorry, dead is dead...haven't you heard?"

Dean then ran at her, charging and slamming her against the side of the Impala hard enough to dent it. Wrapping his hands around her throat, he glared down at her, his eyes half crazy.

"You bring her back now, kill me on the spot I don't give a fuck...just bring my wife back."

The demon stared up at him, her face flushed as Dean choked her.

"Sorry Winchester, but no deal, your wife and baby are dust..."

Dean's face crumpled before he took his knife out of his back pocket and shoved it into the demon's throat, not caring what woman was trapped inside. Twisting the blade, the demon's eyes flickered before her body fell down limp.

Dean stared down at the body, huffing and feeling dizzy. Just then Sam walked over, his face drawn and pale. He had followed him. Dean turned, breathing heavy before he stared at his brother. The moment they locked eyes, Dean's face crumpled.

"Sam..."

Dean fell back down on his knees, lowering his head and putting his hands on his face. A helpless cry escaped his throat as he began to sob. Sam hurried over, kneeling down and gathering his brother in his arms.

Dean looked at him, half shaking, tears pouring down his face. Sam had honestly never seen him like this before.

"We gotta do something, there's gotta be...s-s-some way...to...bring her back, there has to be..."

Sam held his brother tight as Dean violently shoved him away, shaking his head he backed up, trying to get to his feet but unable.

"No, we'll find a way...she can't be dead...no..."

Sam grabbed his brother, holding him by the shirt and giving him a good shake.

"Dean..."

Dean snapped his eyes shut before shoving away again, standing on two shaken feet he began to head to the Impala. Sam got up and followed him before Dean turned, trying to get his keys, his hands shaking badly.

"Sammy...she was pregnant...Jesus...I...I...shouldn't have..."

Sam walked over, looking at his brother.

"Dean, if there's anyway we can get her back we will...I promise, but you need to get yourself under control."

Dean shook his head.

"I...don't wanna live Sammy. I can't...I let those bastards get her. Please...kill me...please..."

Sam grabbed his brother, holding him tighter and crying. Dean stood there, trying his hardest not to cry before his legs gave out. Sam held him up, crying against him, burying his face into his brother's shoulder.

Dean fell out of his brother's arms and down to the ground in a heap. Sam withdrew, a new syringe in his hand.

_**Later...**_

"Oh Jesus Lucy..."

Bobby stared down at the small plastic bin that now held Lucy's remains. There wasn't much left, and it was laying in a white plastic body bag. They were blackened and chard. They had given him her wedding band in a small zip lock bag. It was covered in black soot but he knew he could wash it off. Sam had called him, he had checked Dean into a hotel, and they were waiting for him.

He knew he still had to deal with the police in the morning.

And he knew no matter what they tried, there was no way they were going to get Lucy back.

She was dead, and so wasn't the baby she was planning on bringing into the world. It broke his heart, he loved her like a daughter. Now this stupid war had caused her to die. He had no idea what Dean was going to do. But grief from losing a wife could make a man crazy, he knew for years he was on the verge of falling off the cliff of sanity.

Dean had come so close to getting the family he so wanted.

He signed the forms, saying they would release her remains to him in another few days. He knew the investigation would turn up to be nothing and over time become a closed case. The lot where the store was would remain empty and much like what was left was their Lucy, it would be forgotten and buried.

She deserved to be taken care of like a hunter even if Dean was against it.

He needed to go back to Dean, him and Sam would have to watch him closely now.

"Damnit Lucy..."

He said again, before wiping his tears away.

_**Meanwhile...**_

Dean slept as Sam watched.

Dean slept and in his mind, he was back at the store. He was sitting in bed and Lucy was laying in his arms. He was humming to her and his hand was sliding against her swollen stomach, He could faintly feel movement knowing his son was in there. He was holding her, smelling her soap and perfume and never feeling so content in his whole life.

Lucy turned towards him smiling before reaching up and gently touching the side of his face.

"It's okay Dean...I'll take care of him."

She looked down at her stomach before meeting his eyes again.

"You just need to keep fighting and do what's right...we'll be waiting for you."

Before he could say another word, his eyes opened and he found himself laying in the hotel bed. Lucy was dead, and all of this was real.

Silent tears rolled down his face as he laid there, his heart feeling broken.


	18. Chapter 18

_Dean couldn't really remember this memory, or when exactly Lucy had said this. But still, it seemed just a clear as any other dream he had been having. For Dean, dreaming was his only escape from his constant horrible aching grief he couldn't escape. It wasn't anything like with his father. The guilt was ten times worse and this time he wasn't just mourning just one loved one...he was mourning two. Not only was Lucy dead, who had been his wife, friend, soul mate, and so many other different things...she had also been the mother of his unborn child. The son the two of them had wanted so badly and had been willing to give up the entire life for. Just as fast as their happiness came, it was ruined and now nothing was left._

_In his dreams, the horrible pain eased. It couldn't remember how horrible things were and it was his escape._

_Most dreams were about her, but this one unlike the others was calming and pleasant. He would dream that they were back at the shop or Bobby's, just sitting around. Somehow they were talking about a hunter's death and Lucy would always smile, sitting in a window sill and stretch her long arms of hers and smile before saying she found that sort of send off fitting,. That she never wanted to be buried, that after everything she learned, the last thing she wanted to happen to her was any chance to come back and haunt. She wanted to be burned and her ashes spread somewhere outside in nature to be with the earth that made her. Plain and simple, nothing big, just the ones who loved her to take care of it._

_Dean didn't exactly remember when Lucy said such a thing, but while he slept, escaping from this horrible pain, he would remember what she said, over and over and over again._

Dean had tried everything to bring his Lucy back.

He had spent hours upon hours, completely exhausted, trying to find any way to figure out how to get her back. He looked up every myth, every legend, every spell that he could.

Like always, the results turned up nothing.

The case was closed. Even though the inspectors did find what appeared to be the parts of a wired explosive device, they figured the explosion might have mos likely been caused by the boiler going off. Dean knew very well this was just the police's way of trying to sweep everything under the rug. The case wouldn't be left opened ended and they could just make something up to close it up for good. The lot was looked over and over again and finally the crumbling burnt remains were raked over and nothing was left but grit and ash.

Bobby handled the police and was finally able to get Lucy's remains released to him. It was just a mere two weeks after the accident that Bobby, Dean, and Sam stood in silence as Bobby lit the torch and watched the box which held Lucy's few remains begin to light up and crackle. The three men stood in silence, Sam watching Dean closely, waiting for him at any second to loose it and run. Instead everything went peaceful and smooth. The fires caught and Dean stood there, unable to cry or do anything.

Instead he just stood there watching the grave set, and watch the last of his wife begin to burn out. He had refused to speak, nor even say anything, before he knew it dawn was coming and the fire was almost out.

Unknown to both Sam and Bobby, Dean had kept trying to kill himself. He had tried using nearly every gun in the trunk of the Impala, including his sawed off shotgun. Yet, each time he aimed the barrel towards his temple or mouth, the chamber was always empty.

Dean had tried using his buck knife to slit his wrists, but no matter how hard he dragged the blade across his skin...no blood would come.

Thoughts of taking pills and hanging were coming across his mind, but deep down inside he knew just like the other attempts, the results would only end up failing. One night, he had been putting away the rifles in his trunk when Cas appeared.

Dean had just glared at him before Cas spoke softly and gently.

"You are trying to end your life?"

Dean just stared.

"What the hell is this now? I can't die?"

Cas shook his head.

"You can die Dean, trust me...but I'm not about to waste everything that's happened just to see you go straight back to hell."

"I...just want to be with my wife again."

"Dean, if I had the power, I would find her...but right now that's not important."

Dean suddenly became angry.

"What's less important than finding my wife?"

"The war in Heaven."

"Screw you and your war, I'm done...all this job had brought me is heartache and I'm too tried to care anymore."

"But you will...you still have Sam and you know inside that there is no other way. Wherever your wife is...I'm sure you want her happy and safe. Is this war happens...you could suffer the same faith as yourself...but this time there won't be any escaping."

"What I want...is her to be with me..."

Dean turned and saw Cas had disappeared. Sighing loudly he slammed down the trunk and rubbed his hands roughly over his face. Why couldn't this horrible pain stop? Not even for a second. It was ten times worse than with his father. It was constant, just throbbing again, always reminding him. He felt as if he wasn't in his body, just simply looking down at somebody else.

Night after night he tossed and turned thinking of her.

It wouldn't go away.

He kept remembering the last time he saw her, and how he should have known to stay. That this had been his fault. That she died because he left her, that he had left his Lucy doll and his baby and let them burn up...that no matter how much he tried and prayed...he would never see them again.

The truth was, he was heartbroken and just didn't care.

Shortly after Lucy's remains were taken care of, Bobby had given Dean her wedding ring. It was clean now and Dean just stood there holding it in the palm of his hand.

He refused to break down in front of them and simply sniffled and turned away. His eyes were raw and filling with tears and when Bobby asked if he was okay, Dean simply mumbled and nodded his head before walking away, making sure they couldn't see him.

He slipped the ring onto the same band of the necklace Sam gave him. He looked at the tiny little ring she had gotten so long ago when they were much younger and let it rest against his chest. Even though he knew she was gone, a small glimmer of hope tried to hold onto the fact that maybe there was some way to get to her, and if that was the case he would hold onto this for her.

Until he saw her again.

He knew he had to hope onto this or he would go crazy.

He had gone into her room back at Bobby's. Everything else she owned had been destroyed in the explosion. He stood in the room as thin sunlight fell through the window and felt his heart ache. He could till faintly smell her perfume.

Sighing loudly, he shuffled across the floorboards and collapsed on her bed. The same bed they had shared for so long. The same bed he often thought of whenever there would be a long drive in the Impala and he felt lonely.

He buried his face into her pillows, which still faintly held her sweet scent and he wept.

He stayed that way for hours.

Bobby had mentioned earlier before dropping off a few boxes that maybe Dean would want to hold into some things or give some stuff away. Dean had refused, he asked Bobby if it was all right if they just left the things the way they were...that some day he would come in and clean up, but just to leave it for the moment.

Bobby understood, these were the only things left of Lucy.

Dean slept for nearly forty-eight hours.

Sam had been staying downstairs with Bobby, having a few drinks and looking over some books. A framed photo of Dean, Sam, and Lucy when they were younger stood on the mantle and made Sam's heart ache.

He was worried about his brother. He could sense he hadn't been the same since he came back from hell, and the only thing that truly had held him together was Lucy. Now that her and the baby were gone...he didn't know if Dean could stand it.

Bobby said to leave him be, to let him stay up there and get all the crying and sleeping in he could stand. Once he was ready, then he could take him back on the road. What he needed most of all was family, and to keep his mind of things. Working some jobs might be the best thing for him, as long as Sam kept his eyes open.

Dean stayed in the bedroom and cried and cried until finally just like Bobby said, he couldn't find the strength anymore. He sat in there for a very long time before seeing something on the nightstand that broke his heart. He remembered she had visited not that long before the accident, most likely when Sam and him had been on the road.

Thinking again how horrible he had been, leaving his young pregnant wife alone, he shoved back these thoughts of guilt and rubbed his unshaven face before picking it up.

It was an ultrasound photo of the baby. This was his only existing photo of his son he had left.

His son who never had the chance to be born. His son who he had been so scared for and had prayed would somehow have a better life than Sam and himself. His son he never thought would be possible, yet happened. His son who he had been so scared and excited for, having such high hopes to give him a normal safe stable childhood even if it killed him in the process. His son who he had daydreamed about, holding him in his arms.

He had wondered who he would have taken after more, Lucy or him?

His son who he had been thinking and wanted to name John, but would nickname him Jay. His son who he would teach him all about cars before he could even walk. His son who he would demand try and be normal, play sports, date girls, run around and be carefree and fun. His son who he still wanted to be safe and knew more than likely would take him out shooting before he was even ten.

His son who he wanted so badly...

His son who had died.

Crumbing the photo, Dean lowered his head and cried.

_**Three months later...**_

Lucy's room became locked up and shut up. Dean didn't move a thing and knew Bobby didn't mind at all. He owned a big house and half the rooms he didn't use anyways. Dean left everything exactly the way she had left it and with a heavy heart locked the door behind him.

A lawyer, a close friend of Lucy's had called Bobby in wanting to go over some stuff, Lucy had mentioned may or may not want to really be on record if anything ever happened to her. The fact that Lucy even had done such a thing made Dean's stomach roll. She had always been so responsible, so unlike him.

When Bobby came back he said that Lucy had life insurance including on the store and the lot it sat on. Bobby had taken it upon himself to sell the lot as quickly as he could and the city had ended up buying it in a heartbeat.

He told Dean the money was his but Dean said he didn't want it.

Bobby said just as well and put it in an account only Dean and Sam could get to if they ever wanted it.

"It's what she would have wanted."

He said one early morning over the breakfast table.

Next was the subject of the insurance. Lucy had been a smart girl and had left everything, including all her accounts to both Bobby, Dean, and Sam. Dean of course got the largest amount and as if she knew him all too well, if Dean refused the money it would just go straight to an account that Dean could get to whenever he wanted.

When showed Dean and Sam the amount on a piece of paper Sam's eyes widened.

Dean still didn't want it, it was blood money, the only reason this money was here was because his Lucy was dead.

Bobby understood but reminded him that Lucy had wanted him to have it. That she was a smart girl and planned ahead unlike him. That if he ever got into a bind, the money would be there. That maybe she was sick of him getting his money from credit card scams and playing poker and at least for a while he could live somewhat honest.

Sam and Dean left the next day for a hunt.

And another hunt, and another, and another.

Sam watched Dean closely and saw there was little to no emotion left in him. He did the job, killed what had to be killed, and moved onto the next thing. At night he barley slept and would just want to drive around. The two would have a few drinks together and if Sam even tried to mention Lucy, Dean would snap and walk away.

Time was slowly passing but Sam knew it wasn't helping.

All Dean wanted to do was work. Sometimes when the Impala was parked off the road at night when it was too late to check into a motel, Dean would stay awake looking over newspapers searching for a hunt. He didn't want to slow down or stop.

If he did he would think of them...

His wife and his son.

Finally after the latest job, in which a monster of a man kept his inbreed children locked inside the walls of their house, both Sam and Dean stood on the side of the road against the Impala. Sam had watched Dean closely and saw how badly he had wanted to help these people.

Dean confessed something about hell, something ugly that he was ashamed of. Sam simply just stood there stunned before Dean looked at him, his eyes holding back tears.

"What...what if this is punishment...for what I did down there Sammy? What if Lucy and my baby are dead because of what I did?"

For Sam he didn't have an answer. What had happened had happened...and Lucy was still gone.

Sighing, he stood there for the first time in forever, unable to comfort his brother.


	19. Chapter 19

_Lucy was humming some old rock tune as she looked down at an old witchboard. Dean sat across from her on Bobby's sofa drinking a beer and watching her. _

"_What do you think it's like?"_

"_Hum?"_

_Lucy's hair was drawn up in a bun, her earrings gently jingled as she smiled up at him, her eyes almost looking a shade of dove gray. _

"_You know...the afterlife...Heaven, Hell..."_

_Dean shrugged, he was waiting on his dad and Bobby to come back and knew he had to finish and trash this bottle of beer quick. _

"_Don't know...maybe there isn't even such a thing."_

_Lucy made a face._

"_You really don't believe that do you?"_

"_What?"_

"_That there's no Heaven and Hell...after everything we've been brought up in and seen."_

_Dean laughed getting up and cracking his back._

"_Hey, I'm not saying there's nothing...maybe it's a bunch of clouds and the other place is a much of fire, who knows."_

"_What do you think happens when you die then?"_

_Dean walked over to her._

"_I don't know...something I hope, if not that's one hell of a dirt nap."_

_Lucy rolled her eyes before Dean smirked and bent down, kissing her forehead and ruffling her done up hair._

Several months had passed, and Lucy was still dead.

Dean had searched and searched for anything to bring her back, but there was no spells, trades, or deals that would do such a thing. Exhausted, he threw himself into the hunts, spending month after month driving across country with Sam, trying to help people and forget about this horrible aching grief that he couldn't seem to loose.

He had his good days, which Sam was always relieved to see. Days in which Dean seemed like his old self. He would drive for hours on end, sing to his tapes, eat always enough for two truck drivers, and even once in a while crack a little of his old humor around.

Sam kept an eye on him, but had a horrible feeling that very little was going to take his brother from going over the edge.

Then Alastair happened.

After everything that happened Dean laid in his hospital bed looking at Cas and Sam with broken, empty eyes.

He confessed to Sam that the whole reason he went ahead with trying to kill Alastair was because he wanted to make something suffer the way he was suffering. That he just wanted the pain to stop for just a second. He wanted to make those bastards feel the same pain that they had caused him all these years. Killing their parents, killing Sam, making him spend forty long horrible years going insane in Hell, killing his wife and son and making his strength to live weaken nearly every day. He just wanted all of this pressure to stop, for the horrible pain his broken heart felt, and to try and make whatever dark force caused this feel the pain for once.

Months passed and the Supernatural stories were discovered. Dean's face didn't twitch at all when the publishing company agent mentioning she had always wanted to see if the books continued if Dean and Lucy would be together. Sam had glanced at him and deep down inside when he saw no reaction of his brother's blank face. Since the accident with Alastair, he had refused to mention Lucy or the accident again. Instead he did what he had been doing since it happened...he threw himself into the job.

He thought briefly when he met Adam, the boy who ended up being in fact being Sam and his younger brother. Another tragedy struck and as he stood outside watching Adam's body burn, he thought of his father...and of Lucy.

He refused to take the time to really see how screwed up his life was. When he took the time, even for a second to look back on how many horrible things had happened to him and Sam, he felt as if he could go crazy. Instead he just kept going, nearly every waking moment, refusing to break down again.

He knew the baby's due date had just passed...his son would have been born all ready if Lucy hadn't of died. Both would have had a little boy now. His mind kept trying to think of the what if day dream that kept repeating over and over in his mind like a broken record player. Something he found made him unable to sleep most nights. What if the explosion hadn't of happened. What if he had been there at the store if he hadn't of left her. Would he have been killed as well? At this point he wish he had. He rather be dead instead of feeling like this, also Lucy wouldn't of had ended up having to die alone. He had almost been obsessed with wondering what exactly had happened that night.

Did this demon really take over this Joe Briggs? Did it break in or ring the bell? Did Lucy know right away? Did it reveal itself? Was there a fight? A struggle? Was she scared at the end? Did she even know about the bomb? Did it kill her instantly?

He wanted to pretend it was quick...it had to be. He prayed that it was.

He couldn't say such things to Sam. He knew he was worried enough about him and he didn't want to worry him. His job was to be the strong one, his job was to protect him...he had all ready failed so many times all ready...

He just continued, working day after day and trying to turn all his attention on stopping the seals to be broken. He thought a lot about Lucy and his baby, but he never showed it.

Not once.

_**One year later.**_

"Wouldn't you do anything to have Lucy back?"

Bobby asked when Sam and him discovered Bobby's wife alive...in fact every descended person in that town coming back. It had been the cemetery, and Dean and Sam knew they had to stop this. It was unnatural, and they knew was about to turn real bad.

Dean's face crumbled, a blackened rage filled him that he forced to keep down. He knew Bobby was just being unreasonable and overcome by this. He had been living years without his wife, dealing with the grief. Dean had only been without Lucy for a little over a year.

Dean took a deep breath, just a few months ago Sam had mentioned Lucy's name, when he found the ultrasound photo of the baby in the bottom of Dean's back when he was looking for dad's journal. Sam had meant well, asking how he had been doing, and the second Dean heard Lucy's name he reacted the same way he did nearly five years ago on the bridge with Sam when their dad first went missing. He remembered it had been something stupid over their mother with Sam saying she was never coming back. Dean remembered slamming Sam up against the railing and saying not for him to talk about her like that. Instead he glared up at him and said softly...

"Don't say her name..."

Sam decided for the first time in what seemed like forever not to push the issue. He mumbled that he was sorry and dropped the photo back in Dean's bag.

But this time, Dean bit down on his lip looking at Bobby and took a deep breath.

"Of course I would do anything...but she's in a better place."

Bobby knew Dean better than anyone besides Sam and stared at him for a second. Dean hadn't always been exactly the easiest person to believe in that sort of stuff, even after everything that had happened to him.

Dean wanted to explain he couldn't have Lucy back that way because there wasn't any body. That his wife, who had only been in her twenties, his wife who he honestly loved with all his heart...had been blown up and murdered. He wanted to scream this, to yell that you couldn't get a second chance no matter how much you begged and prayed for it.

Instead he just turned away, leaving him.

It wasn't until two months later when Sam and Dean were murdered in a motel room they were staying at by two hunters who had learned about Sam. The moment the shotgun caused Dean to fall back, nearly instantly dying...when he awoke.

It was in his Impala, on the side of the road.

Soon he walked out and found Sam when he was just a kid. Both set off fireworks and Dean remembered the memory that was playing again as if it was yesterday. It as 4th of July 1995. He remembered taking Sam out and that field burning down later on. How hard they had laughed, and how for the first time in a while. Dean felt really good about being a big brother. He loved Sam more than life itself, and for once he felt normal.

Soon he discovered he was in Heaven.

One stage of heaven Sam and Dean passed through, trying to stay on the road was a door.

They opened it and a bell jingled above them. A jingle that made Dean's heart leap in his throat. Sam and Dean walked in through the front door of Lucy's store in Illinois. It was a beautiful day and sunlight was shinning through the windows, showing nearly every sparking golden piece of dust float through air.

They both stood there on the lower level looking in on the two story brick building. The floorboards were wooden and old, the display cases, the antiques, the different odds and ends. The glass shelf's, the paintings, the vases, the counter, the books. Dean's wife eyes scanned the stairs leading up to her small apartment.

The comforting smell of apples and spices filled the air. A smell he had grown to love and think of as home. He saw the old grandfather clock softly ticking,.

Sam went to say something when Dean ran forward.

"LUCY!"

He called, running up the stairs, skipping two at a time. Sam followed him, worried before both brothers topped at the head of the stairs looking into the kitchen.

It was empty. There were coffee mugs in the sink, and the newspaper was on the table. On the radio, a baseball game was softly playing. Dean raced to the two large french doors and opened them.

The bed was made, and nobody was around.

"You think she's here?"

Dean didn't say a word, instead he pushed open the bathroom door and froze.

Sam looked over.

"What is it?"

Dean slowly walked over to something on the sink counter top. Dean picked it up before slowly turning. His eyes looking heartbroken.

"This...is the day Lucy took a pregnancy test..."

Dean looked down at the plastic strip before putting it back down. Sam stood there, unable to say anything before Dean shook his head walking out. Rubbing one of his hands over his face he turned towards Sam.

"Where the hell is she Sam?"

Sam had no words to say, instead he offered his hand.

"Come on, we gotta find another road."

The two went back down the the store and opened the back door that lead to the ally, moments later they were in the next Heaven.

Later when they talked to Ash, Dean asked where Lucy was. Ash explained she was in fact up here, at least that's what he heard from the angels, she was just in a heaven neither Sam nor Dean could get to just yet. He promised to work on it, but almost just like their own parents, he couldn't track them down.

Heaven was after all a very big place.

They continued on, searching for the garden and trying to outrun the angels.

When they became trapped in their home and the lights began to dim down to green , Dean and Sam tried to find a way out when Dean walked straight into Lucy.

He stepped back a few feet and just stared at her, his eyes wide in disbelief.

Lucy stood there, in a black tight turtle neck and jeans. Her arms were folded and she looked beautiful. Dean stood there with Sam, completely stunned and speechless when Dean blinked. Right away tears filled his eyes as he opened his mouth.

"Lucy?"

Lucy rolled her eyes.

"Yep, that's right your little Lucy doll."

Sam blinked and knew it wasn't the real Lucy. Trying to tug on Dean's arm, he stopped as Dean stayed exactly where he was. Lucy shot him a dirty looked, clicking her tongue and pacing in front of him.

"Oh Dean, wouldn't believe this is really me huh? Well of course, after the explosion and all one would think this cute little body of mine would have been blown to bits...which it was."

Dean gulped, he knew and tried to stay calm.

"Lucy..."

She cut him off.

"I know how guilty you feel Dean, how many nights you lay awake wondering what happened. Well, if you must know...it wasn't instant Dean, not even close. The fires burned for hours, but after the bomb blew, half of myself was blown away. The rest of myself, began to burn alive before I bled out and before the boiler blew ten seconds later. Do you have any idea how long ten seconds can be? How horrible it felt to feel part of myself get blown away, seeing chunks of my flesh and blood bubble and crackle in the fires before the next explosion killed me? I was just like your mother...I died slowly, and felt myself burn away. Our baby..."

Lucy stared down at herself and smirked.

"Our baby was all ready bleeding out of me moments before I died. It was going to be born a cold dead slug anyways...don't you get it? You're cursed Dean...everything you touch dies..."

Dean shut his eyes before Lucy turned into Mary.

When they awoke later, now alive and remembering the message they was delivered to them and of Heaven. Dean tried to block away how desperate he felt at that exact moment.

They were alone.

He thought of his Lucy, and then for some strange reason thought of that woman Lisa and Ben. He liked them a lot and had been worried about them. Pushing this away, he didn't want to think he was trying to replace Lucy. He knew his only chance for ever having a family died with her, but he knew there was a reason to go to her house and make sure her and Ben were okay.

The world was ending, and here he was refusing to help the angels. He couldn't help it after everything. If these angels wouldn't let him see her, than maybe he didn't want to work for them.

He was sick of his weather between Heaven and Hell, but wanted to stop this from happening. Sam and him were more involved than they thought, and things were only getting worse. He knew he had nothing to live for, but as long as he did some good...maybe his life wouldn't seem such a waste anyways.

He needed his wife back, and if dying and searching Heaven for all time...he would find a way.

He promised himself.


	20. Chapter 20

_You can have her back..._

_**Dean found himself standing on the shore of the lake which was a few miles away from Bobby's place. It was an overcast chilly October morning and it had begun to lightly rain. Dean stood there, hands jammed in his pockets looking across the lake at all the trees which had just begun to change color. There were wonderful shades of orange, red, gold, and yellow and some leafs had blown off and floated in the still water.**_

_**Dean remembered this lake. He remembered so many summers coming down here. Back when things were okay, when his dad was still alive and he was young and somehow all this horrible business of the future of their faith hadn't truly been clear yet. He remembered fishing with him, feeling special whenever it was just the two of them. How his dad for even just a half an hour would somewhat relax and his tired aging face wouldn't look so worried. He would crack open a beer and just sit back telling Dean which rods worked best and what kind of fish he believed still swan in there. Of course most afternoons they would return empty handed, but the walk back was always pleasant and Dean would always store these times in the back of his memories for comfort whenever things got bad.**_

_**He also remembered being here with Sammy. Running around catching grasshoppers and frogs. Swimming and making enough noise to wake the dead. How once him and Sam bet each other five bucks if they could swim across the lake and back. How once when Sammy as still very young he fell climbing a tree near the shore and scraped his knee pretty bad. Dean remembered kneeling down looking it over as tiny tears rolled down Sam's chubby little cheeks as he sniffled and asked how bad it was. Dean of course grinned and said it would be okay and ruffled Sam's hair before kissing his forehead.**_

_**Exactly like he used to do when he was a baby.**_

_**He remembered going here with Lucy. How he had brought her here when she was first taken to Bobby's which seemed like a lifetime ago. How they used to sit on the dock, swinging their feet and letting it dip in the water. How many times they came here to just talk, or lay out and old blanket and make out for hours on end. How they used to swim together and once as teenagers late one summer evening, they stripped down and jumped into the icy water laughing. How it was here years ago he was certain that Lucy would be the only girl he would ever really love.**_

_**He used to day dream that once day he would build a house over looking the lake so Lucy and him could live here forever, even Sammy. They could all be together in this safe place and everything would be all right. **_

_**Now he found himself alone.**_

_**No, that wasn't true.**_

_**A year had passed, one long year. He had gone to Lisa and Ben, doing exactly as Sam had asked but then he came back. It didn't take long for Dean to know that whatever this thing was...it wasn't his brother.**_

_**So they had fought and dove back into this madness of a life, making deals, killing, and fighting until he truly got his brother back which was pretty which all he truly had to hold onto from loosing it all and giving up. He came to terms that he was going back to his life and no matter what Bobby and Sam said, he wasn't really happy pretending with Lisa and Ben. He loved them both very much, and would die for them...but after Lucy he knew he wouldn't allow anymore blood shed. He knew the reason why he wasn't fighting to get Lisa back was simple.**_

_**She wasn't Lucy.**_

_**He of course kept this to himself.**_

_**The war in heaven was still raging, and Cas had returned. He truly couldn't understand why all of this was happening when he was certain last year Sam and him had stopped it.**_

"_**Dean."**_

_**Dean spun around, terror rising in his throat at the sound of this gentle and calm voice. He turned, eyes widening when he saw her and right away his heart lurched forward giving a dull ache. He remembered this pain, it was something he had been carrying for nearly three years.**_

_**Lucy stood a few feet away, wearing jeans and a dark cranberry blouse. Her hair was tied up in a silk scar and she looked pale and beautiful. Dark purplish blue circles were around her eyes as if she hadn't slept in a very long time.**_

_**She gave a gentle smile and stepped forward, Dean noticed she didn't have her cowboy boots on.**_

"_**Lucy?"**_

_**He asked.**_

_**He smelt her perfume, a scent he longed for most nights he was driving down the dark back roads. This was a scent that reminded him of being safe, and being home. **_

"_**Is this a dream?"**_

_**Lucy shook her head, it began to rain harder but she didn't seem to notice. In the distance a bird cried then stopped.**_

"_**Dean..."**_

_**Her voice seemed to have a hopeless echo to it which sent chills down his spine.**_

"_**Am I dreaming?"**_

_**Dean asked, that's when Lucy looked around and across the lake, as if she was nervous. She stepped closer.**_

"_**We don't have much time, their listening..."**_

"_**Who?"**_

_**She stepped one last step and placed her hand against his chest. Dean felt it and knew almost for certain this couldn't be a dream. She stared up at him with her gray colored eyes and looked desperate.**_

"_**You can bring me back, but you need to hurry."**_

"_**Lucy..."**_

"_**There isn't much time, go to the place where my ashes fell..."**_

"_**What? The store?"**_

"_**No, where you burned the remains...but you need to hurry, their trying to catch me."**_

"_**Lucy I..."**_

_**Just then thunder sounded as the sky grew dark in an instant. Dean felt the rain pelt down on him, drenching his clothes when he saw Lucy stare at her.**_

_**That's when he saw...it was raining blood.**_

Dean awoke with a start.

He had been sleeping on Bobby's couch and Sam was at the desk looking over some books. Dean felt his heart skip a beat as he sat up and looked around half in panic.

"Bad dream?"

Dean blinked and looked at his brother before glancing at the window. It was raining outside and it was mid afternoon. Feeling his throat go dry he simply shrugged before standing up. Rubbing his face he walked across the room and grabbed his coat.

"Where are you going?"

"I...need to check something, I'll be right back..."

"Dean..."

Dean slammed the front door and hurried to the Impala, his hands fumbling for the keys. He knew it was just a stupid dream, which part of him felt sick to his stomach. He never had a dream like that before, everything seemed so real.

The last image before he woke haunted him. Lucy's pale and hopeless face staring at him as blood trickled down her face.

He got into his car and began heading down the road where Bobby had taken care of Lucy's remains. He gripped the steering wheel as rain hit the windshield. Fallen leafs stuck to the windshield wipers and he looked around feeling his heart drum in his chest.

Finally making the turn off, he parked the car on the side of the road and got out. The rain had picked up a little but he didn't care. Turning up his collar, he headed down the small embankment and into the woods. Stepping on a carpet of wet leafs and mud, he hurried as fast as he could through the woods to the area. He hadn't been here since that night but he remembered it clearly.

Stopping, he looked around the small clearing as more rain fell, turning his collar up he looked around at all the fallen pine needles and leafs.

That's when for no reason at all he reached his hand down, touching the wet earth when...

A hand shot up, straight out of a horror movie. The hand was soaked and pale and gripped his. Dean's eyes widened and he held back a scream as he pulled backwards. He didn't like the feel of the hand, it felt cold and unnatural.

He dug his boots into the soil pulling backwards when an arm appeared, covered in mud and mark, then a shoulder, then a body.

He yanked the person to stand beside him and right away he froze.

Lucy stood there, dressed exactly as he saw her in his dream. She was covered in what appeared to be a mixture of blood and mud. She blinked and shook as the rain poured down on them.

Dean just stood there, unable to speak.


	21. Chapter 21

Rain continued to pour down on Dean as he stood there truly wondering if he was dreaming or not. Standing there feeling his heart pound deep in his chest, he blinked his large hazel eyes in utter disbelief. He felt the rain drops splatter down on him as his throat tightened up and he stared at her.

Lucy stood there, dressed like she was in his dream. She was shivering and for a moment Dean noticed something was off about her. Her skin looked as if it was caked with what appeared to be either mud or black tar. It was mixed with blood and covered most of her clothes, arms, and face. The one thing he did see clearly was her gorgeous dove colored eyes which looked confused and terrified. Rain poured down on them when suddenly Lucy snapped her eyes shut, now becoming nothing but a form of blackness, blood, and grit from the forest.

A blood curdling scream came from her, loud enough it echoed in the woods.

Dean felt panic leap into him as he took hold of her shoulders, right away his fingers dug in and he felt a cracking. Lucy stopped screaming and pushed backwards before looking down at herself. Rain poured down even harder as she stared down at her left arm and began to rip apart whatever black stuff covered her. Dean watched as she tore away with her fingers, breaking open the shell that covered her body, chunks and pieces falling off into the ground.

Dean watched and then he knew...

It was her skin, burnt, cracked, blackened from the fire...from the explosion. Feeling his stomach toss, he watched her as she tore off the chunks from her arms, chest, face, and hands. The black chunks crackled, pieces of dust fell before finally it was all off her. It laid on the ground as rain poured down on it and Dean saw Lucy finally standing before him. Her eyes seemed a little bloodshot, her hair was soaked, covered still in grit and blood. She had scratches on her arms and legs, but besides that her rich golden tan smooth skin showed. Her body, her face, every feature was there.

Dean stared at her before Lucy stared at him.

"Dean?"

She said in a choked up voice.

Dean reached forward, holding her gently this time, his thumbs and fingers pressing in against her skin. Never before did he honestly believe he would ever hold her again. Lucy stood there for a second before saying again...

"Dean..."

That's when her eyes rolled back in her head and she fell limp in his arms.

"Lucy!"

She was alive, he saw her breathing, but he was terrified.

Dean held onto her, bracing so she wouldn't slip. Wrapping his arms around her, he held her, squeezing her as tight as he could. Burying his face in her hair, he stood there for a moment before breaking down. Snapping his eyes shut he began to cry.

_**Later**_

Bobby and Sam sat in the study looking over some books when a loud pounding came from the front door. Sam and Bobby both exchanged the same look as both got up, hurrying to the hallway. It was still raining out, and Dean had been gone for almost an hour.

Sam reached the door first, opening it and freezing.

Dean stood there, completely soaked and holding Lucy in his arms. Sam stood there, speechless before Dean looked at him helpless and scared.

Bobby's face went pale.

"Oh my God..."

_**Later**_

Lucy was dressed in one of Dean's shirts, which stopped right above her knee. She laid there, now dyed off, and clean. Dean had been shaking badly but insisted on doing everything himself. Bobby and Sam simply stood back watching before finally Bobby's face crumpled.

"What kind of deal did you make?"

Dean turned around, his bangs dripping in his face.

"I didn't."

"What?"

Sam stood back stunned as Dean stripped off one of his button up shirts and threw it to the ground. Sitting on the edge of the bed Lucy now was laid out on, he put his ear to her chest and listened to her breath. Finally he got himself under enough control to just sit beside her, watching closely.

Dean explained the dream, then going to the woods, and what had happened. His words were broken up and Sam noticed he couldn't seem to stop petting Lucy's hair, as if it was a nervous twitch. Sam walked over with Bobby and carefully approached the bed. Staring down at Lucy's pale sleeping face, he sighed.

Reaching down he gently touched her before Bobby shoved forward and splashed a bottle of holy water on her. Dean's head snapped up looking.

"Hey!"

Bobby stared down at Lucy sleeping before digging into his pocket and taking out a small silver cross that was on a chain. Usually he had dozens of these kept around the house. Tossing it down on Lucy, it landed on her chest which was slowly rising and falling as she breathed. Right away Bobby looked up uncertain before he shook his head.

"Better call Cas, if anyone knows what's happening...he would."

Dean shook his head, looking down at Lucy.

"It's her...I know it is."

Sam stared down at Lucy with uneasy eyes.

"Dean, there was barley anything left after the explosion..."

Dean looked up, angry and scared.

"She isn't a demon, or a shifter, or a ghoul...remember Adam, maybe it's the same thing...maybe there's a reason she came back."

Just then the sound of fluttering came and Cas appeared behind them making Bobby jump. Dean looked up as Cas' eyes were fixed right on Lucy. Slowly he approached her before looking right at Dean.

"What is she doing here?"

Just then Lucy's eyes snapped open and she stared right up at Cas. The two locked eyes for a moment before Dean's hand went down to touch her and she flinched away. Dean sat back, slightly stunned by her reaction before she shot up like a bullet, drawing back her legs underneath as as she stared at the men, her eyes wide and scared.

"Am I dead?"

Sam and Dean exchanged a look before Dean shook his head, not exactly sure on how he should say anything. Instead he just sat there, biting his bottom lip and trying to think of something to say. Lucy looked at him before Dean shook his head.

"No, your not dead..."

Lucy shut her eyes and a large sigh of relief came from her. Her hand went to her chest.

"I had the most awful dream, I was at my store and there was a demon...and an explosion, it seemed so real..."

Just then Lucy opened her eyes, as if something finally clicked inside of her. Staring up at Cas, she began to shake.

"Wait..."

Her eyes filled with tears before a trickle of blood silently came from her nose. Sitting there she looked at him.

"I...remember...did...you bring me back?"

Cas slowly shook his head.

"I died didn't I?"

Cas nodded again.

Lucy's helpless eyes went to Dean but all he could do was stare at her with confused and heartbroken eyes. Taking a deep breath she looked down at herself and saw her perfectly flat stomach. There was no longer a bump there.

Her hands shot to her shirt and she pressed her hands against herself before she stared up at them before looking at Dean.

Tears began to slip down her face.

"My baby...where is my baby?"


	22. Chapter 22

"Dean wait..."

Dean scoped Lucy up in his arms and was hurrying to the front door. The rain outside had picked up and the wind seemed to be screaming. Trees outside rocked back and forth and the sound seemed to echo against the windows. Sam hurried behind him while Cas and Bobby slowly followed behind.

Sam finally stood in front of Dean, holding up his hands.

"Just take it easy a second."

"I'm taking her to Dr. Robert..."

"Whoa, there's doctors around here...doctors I know."

Bobby said walking beside Sam. Standing there the two men stared at Dean and could tell he was terrified. Lucy was in his arms, looking drained and a little too pale. She was still in Dean's shirt, and a good amount of her legs were showing. Her arms were around is neck and her face was half buried in his shirt.

Cas slowly walked behind them, cocking his head before looking at Lucy.

"They hid you didn't they?"

Lucy blinked before Dean held her tighter.

"Leave her be Cas."

Dean snapped, instead Lucy looked at him before her eyes gave a half dazed blood. Blinking she nodded slowly.

"I died didn't I?"

Cas nodded before Lucy looked up at Dean.

"I remember I was in Heaven, but it didn't seem that way. I was here...but none of you guys were around...well you were Dean."

"What?"

"It was the night Bobby first brought me where when I was little, you couldn't have been more than what twelve? It was so nice remembering that night, watching you...then these men appeared and...I woke up feeling like I was drowning. I didn't know if I was alive or dead...but I was scared."

"A lake?"

Cas stepped closer.

"Yeah, I remember breaking the surface, struggling to swim. I was so cold. I could see shore but there was this thick mist everywhere. I thought I heard crying so I just swam until I reached a shallow end. I was struggling to walk up to shore when I looked down at myself and saw it wasn't water I was in...It was blood."

"Jesus..."

Dean softly said as Lucy went on.

"I collapsed on shore, and a hand reached out...it was Adam, your brother."

Dean and Sam exchanged a quick look before Lucy stared off, remembering as she spoke.

"He was kneeling there and he helped me. He stood me up and opened his jacket and wrapped it around me. He was rubbing my arms and trying to get me warm but I was so cold...then it sounded like wolfs. They were circling us and then it got dark...and next thing I knew I felt somebody tugging on my hand. I thought it was Adam but there was a bright light and there I was standing out in the rain with you Dean."

"You didn't see anything else?"

Cas asked.

Lucy sniffled and shook her head.

"I was so scared, it all happened in the matter of an hour maybe...how long has it been?"

Dean looked at Sam before dropping his eyes. Lucy stared at him.

"How long?"

Dean couldn't look at her.

"Dean?"

"Two years...it's been two years."

Lucy blinked in disbelief before she looked around the room.

"What?"

Bobby shuffled his feet.

"There was an explosion at your store...your remains..."

"Let me down Dean..."

"Lucy..."

"I SAID LET ME DOWN!"

Dean looked stunned by this but simply let her down. Lucy swayed for a moment on her feet before stumbling down to her knees in front of him. Clutching her chest she snapped her eyes shut and dry heaved. Nothing came up and slowly Lucy lowered her head and began to cry. Dean slowly knelt down beside her and scooped her up again.

Dean looked at his brother and Bobby.

"She needs a doctor, please."

Nodding, Bobby turned and took his jacket off the hook.

"I know somebody close, we'll take my car, come on."

Dean nodded before looking over at Cas.

"Stay the hell away from her, please."

Cas said nothing as Dean hurried with Bobby out the door. Sam watched, feeling helpless as Cas stood beside him. Outside, the wind screamed and rain continued to pour down.

"You think she's telling the truth?"

Sam asked. Cas stared out the window and nodded.

"I think somebody tried to hide her, but ended up taking her to wherever your baby brother is."

"The cage?"

"Maybe, but that same person took her out before she made contact...and in all honestly Sam. I don't trust it."

His brow wrinkling, Sam sighed crossing his arms as Bobby's car left the driveway.

"No...neither do I."

_**Later**_

Lucy laid on the table in the back room. She was curled up and crying. The doctor, a middle aged woman who ran her own at home office who had known Bobby for the last twenty years spoke with Dean and Bobby in the other room. Lucy's back was to them and the room she had been looked at was dark. Rain splattered against the window, reflecting against her pale thin body.

The woman, Dr. Lee Ann, shook her head.

"She isn't pregnant, I'm sorry..."

Dean had his arms crossed, he nervously bit his thumb nail.

"She lost the baby?"

Dr. Lee Ann shook her head.

"No, she wasn't pregnant at all."

Bobby looked at Dean before he glanced over Dr. Lee Ann's shoulder in at Lucy.

"Beside that...is she fine?"

Bobby asked. Dr. Lee Ann nodded.

"Yes, she needs some rest...whatever she went through it was hell, but she should be all right."

Slowly Dr. Lee Ann's eyes found Dean and she sighed.

"Listen, she can have children in the future, she's still young."

Dean rubbed the side of his face which was growing stubble. Pacing, he glanced in on Lucy.

"One thing that was strange...you said your wife's blood type is A positive?"

"Yeah."

"Well...it's strange, her blood type is saying it's B...now maybe you got mixed up before, but everything else looks good. I would keep her off her feet for a while though."

Bobby thanked her and lead her down the stairs. Dean waited a moment before walking into the other room. Staring at the back of her made his heart ache.

"Lucy doll?"

Lucy turned over, her eyes red rimmed.

"Our baby...he died, guess you can't have everything back huh..."

"Lucy..."

Lucy sat up, rubbing her arms.

"Cold in here..."

Dean grabbed his jacket which was laid out on a chair he had put earlier. Walking over he draped them over her shoulders.

"Better?"

Lucy nodded.

"Thanks..."

"Listen, we're wrapping stuff up, I'm gonna take you home."

Lucy looked up, her bangs fallen into her face.

"Remember when you told me about Hell? Remember how you said four months was really forty years? Here I was trapped in...God knows what...limbo? It all seemed like some stupid dream...and now here I am. Knowing that I died in that explosion...that our baby died...and someone or something pulled me out..."

Dean couldn't seem to find the right words. Instead he just stood there before Lucy sighed staring up at him. Her eyes exhausted.

"It was Joe...the guy I was seeing before we got back together, the one I thought was going to ask me to marry him. He came and his eyes changed...I remember running...he chased me and...I started to bleed and then...I woke up and..."

Dean walked over wrapping his arms around her and kissing the top of her head.

"Shhhh..."

"I feel so different Dean, I knew I had died...I really did. I felt myself die when the explosion happen...then I just thought I was dreaming. It happened so fast..."

Dean grabbed Lucy by the shoulders and squeezed tight, making her look at him.

"Lucy listen to me...your alive, whatever the reason is it doesn't matter...we're together, I got you back and I'm never going to let anything happen to you."

"Dean, how many times have you and your brother died? We're cursed...when is enough, enough? I'm so tired Dean...I wanted that baby so much, I thought we could be normal. What if something is wrong with me...I feel so strange, like I'm half here...what's wrong with me?"

Silent tears began to run down her face when Dean's brow wrinkled. Lucy stared at him.

"What?"

"Your eyes..."

"What?"

"They look different now...almost green."

Lucy quickly turned and looked at the mirror near the table she was laying on. Widening her eyes, she looked at herself before turning over.

"What's going on Dean?"

Dean stood up straight and was as honest as he could with her.

"I don't know baby, but I promise you..."

He reached and squeezed her hand.

"I'll never let anything hurt you again."

Lucy looked at him before wiping her eyes with her free hand.

"Take me home Dean...please."

_**Later**_

Lucy couldn't sleep, she felt too tired to even walk so Dean brought her back to her old room, and laid her down with him. Together they laid side by side listening to the rain and talking.

Sam meanwhile paced downstairs.

Dean told her everything, every last single thing of what had happened. Once he was finished he couldn't believe it honestly had just been two years. Laying there, Lucy stared at the ceiling.

"I still believe in him you know."

Dean hiked himself up and stared down at her. He couldn't seem to stop looking at her. Every second he kept waiting to just blink and see that it was all just a dream.

"What?"

Lucy turned her head.

"God. I think I did go to heaven...or whatever it was...I never saw him, and from what your telling me...a lot of shit went down when I was gone...but I believe he's somewhere."

Dean grunted before shaking his head.

"I don't know much about that..."

Lucy shook her head.

"No...after everything...you and Sam are still holding strong, your still fighting...I think the reason this war is still happening is because people like you have faith, even if you don't know it."

Dean gently smiled down at her.

"I'm done with this."

"What hunting?"

"Everything...I'm done. I'm not going to lose you again. Tomorrow we're getting in the Impala and leaving..."

Lucy smirked.

"I would like to believe that, but from what you said...there's still more family business to get done."

Dean shook his head.

"No...before I was stupid, I didn't have anything to live for anymore. I got you back and I'm not taking any chances. We all ready lost...our son...enough is enough."

"No, we're together...but there's a reason this is happening. Let's just see what happens...but I promise I won't leave you again."

Dean leaned down nuzzling Lucy's face before his voice began to break up.

"I missed you...so much..."

Lucy's slender hands slid around him before she started to gently kiss his face. Dean's hands went up Lucy's shirt and slowly started to touch her breasts. Lucy tilted her head up, opening and closing her mouth before Dean withdrew.

"What's wrong?"

Lucy asked looking up. Dean stared down before brushing her bangs away.

"Promise me you won't leave me again."

Lucy stared up at him.

"I promise."

Dean pinned her down.

"No...promise me...please..."

Dean shut his eyes, teardrops falling down from his pale face. Lucy touched him before he opened his eyes. Leaning down he kissed her harder before Lucy wrapped her arms around him. Dean quickly undid his belt and yanked down the zipper of his jeans. Lucy laid underneath him positioning herself as she opened her legs. Dean took a second and took himself out before staring down at her.

Lucy stared up at him before he pressed his forehead against hers.

"I love you Lucy doll."

Dean slid into her and right away he muffled a cry. Taking a second he laid down against her before lacing his hand into hers.

Meanwhile it still kept raining.

_**The next morning **_

Dean woke with Lucy in his arms. He knew he would never let Bobby nor Sam let her know how bad it had been after she died. He also knew as much as she said, he was going to find a way for the two of them to escape. He had all ready lost his son...and he wasn't about to loose her again. Laying there as thin sunlight started to pour in, he laid his head against hers and listened to her breath.

"Don't you worry Lucy doll..."

Softly he kissed her before she muttered in her sleep and her eyes fluttered open. Staring up at him she smiled. Both were still dressed.

"Hi."

"Hi."

Dean leaned down, gently kissing her collarbone before traveling up her neck. Lucy smiled before Dean opened her legs again.

"Dean..."

Dean ignored her, instead he leaned down kissing her before feeling her breasts. Lucy laid there and stiffened for a moment as he went into her again. Lucy clung onto him before he started to thrust roughly and fast. The headboard began to whack against the frame.

"Dean..."

Dean lowered his head and swore as he climaxed strongly. Seconds later he lifted his face which was flushed.

"Sorry..."

Lucy nodded.

"It's okay."

Dean pulled out of her before Lucy touched his face.

"You okay?"

Dean looked down at the mess he left and rolled his eyes.

"Sorry..."

"Your shaking..."

Dean looked down at his hands and tried to hide it.

"Fine..."

Lucy sat up slowly before staring at him.

"Your...thinking about him aren't you?"

Dean stared at her with hurt eyes before nodding. Silently she took him in his arms and together in the early morning sunlight they wept.


	23. Chapter 23

_**It was raining.**_

_**Dean was at the lake again. It was a chilly gray over cast October morning and a heavy mist had settled over the still water. Dean stood there off the shore, hands shoved in his jeans' pockets staring off.**_

_**Just then he heard a voice, a voice he honestly never believed he would hear again.**_

"_**Dean..."**_

_**Dean turned and Adam stood a few feet away. He was dressed as he was the day him and Sam fell into the pit. He still looked so young, his real brother, not that bastard ghoul that had murdered him. Adam stood there staring at him with pleading sad eyes. Right away Dean stared at him completely stunned before hurrying over.**_

"_**Adam..."**_

_**He stopped, looking right at him. Adam sighed.**_

"_**Why did you think I was in the cage, they put me someplace else...hid me."**_

"_**Who?"**_

"_**Them."**_

"_**Who?"**_

_**Adam's eyes casted over to the water, uneasy and scared. Dean then noticed his eyes didn't seem to look right. It took him a moment and that's when he remembered. Dean had green eyes, now they looked almost gray. A horrible unsettling feeling filled Dean as his brother looked back at him.**_

"_**They took your wife here to...there isn't much time."**_

"_**For what?"**_

Dean awoke with a start.

Sweat poured down him despite the cold weather outside. At this exact moment the room seemed a million degrees as late afternoon sunlight floated in, giving him a dim yet welcoming look. Sitting up, he found himself now just in his boxers. Looking over, he saw his shirt and jeans were neatly folded in Lucy fashion on the stool near her vanity. Taking a second he looked around and saw the bathroom door open. Lucy was still just dressed in one of his shirts, standing on her tip toes looking closely at the mirror above the sink.

Dean took a second before Lucy turned, almost sensing her eyes on her. Turning, he saw her hair was now pinned up almost in a bun. Walking over, she paused at the bed and frowned.

"Hey."

Dean looked over at the nightstand where his cell was, grabbing it he checked the phone. It was nearly two in the afternoon.

"Jesus, we slept that long."

Lucy took a seat on the bed before nodding.

"We must have needed it. You okay? You were mumbling in your sleep."

Dean stared at her before shaking his head and faking a small smile.

"Yeah, I'm fine...just bad dreams. You okay?"

Lucy shrugged.

"Yeah I guess so."

"What were you looking at?"

"Just...my eyes, weird huh."

Dean tried to remember his dream but it now seemed so foggy like a distant memory. He did know it had something to do with the color of her eyes. Leaning closer, he rested one hand on her shoulder and looked at her closely. Sighing he shook his head.

"Yeah...didn't think people could change eye color like that."

Lucy kept looking at him before Dean felt as if he had seen this eyes before, yet just couldn't place them. Sighing, he gently rubbed the side of her arm.

"You okay?"

Lucy looked at him.

"I don't know...

She looked down at herself before shaking her head.

"Maybe he's in Heaven."

"Who?"

"The baby...I mean I know he hadn't been born yet, but there's no way he couldn't have ever existed."

Dean reached over before taking her hand. Both locked eyes for a second before Dean leaned over and gently kissed her.

_**Later...**_

Dean drove around on the back roads. One arm around Lucy, the other on the wheel. Lucy was nuzzled up beside him. As they drove, Dean looked at the woods surrounding them. At this exact moment he didn't care anymore of Heaven, Hell, or the in-between. He no longer cared about monsters, demons, angels, and creatures of the night. He didn't care about saving people, hunting things, or the family business.

His father had died living this life, and as far as he knew, he never found the love of his life again. He now knew that the only important thing was leaving for good, taking Lucy and never looking back.

He kept thinking about all they had lost all ready, how they just couldn't catch a break. Lastly he thought of his son.

John.

A dull ache filled his chest before he looked down at Lucy. Sighing he nuzzled down and kissed the top of her head, pulling over on the side of the dirt road he parked. Lucy slid from his arm and looked at him. Purplish gray circles from lack of sleep were appearing on his face. She was pale, yet still beautiful. In fact she looked ten, maybe even fifteen years younger.

_**Later...**_

"You what?"

Sam stood there dumbfounded with Bobby in the living room. Lucy was upstairs again, after Dean forced her to try and get some more sleep. He was worried about her and she wasn't acting herself. Now the three men stood in the living room as Dean sighed, his arms crossed.

Outside the sun was shinning on all the surrounding trees with it's newly colored leafs.

"I'm done, I can't do this."

"Dean, what about..."

Dean shook his head shutting his eyes. He was exhausted and knew he was only going to have the strength to do this once. He was angry, and just plain drained of it all.

"Sammy, your fine now...as for Heaven's battle, let them duke it out. Every time we interfere something happens. Eve is dead, and the rest is up to the angels. I can't keep taking risks like this...not after getting Lucy back."

Bobby shook his head.

"Listen Dean, I know your upset...it's beyond more than somebody should take in, most of all you. We're all lucky as hell that Lucy is back...but we can't take chances. We're all in on this, and doesn't it worry you that Cas doesn't even know how Lucy got back and why?"

Dean's eyes narrowed.

"Isn't any different than me and Sammy coming back. It happened and I'm done questioning this. I'm quitting. Sam, I would advise you to do the same. I know I've always been the one trying to pull you into this life, just like dad...but I'm done. I tried to be happy with Lisa and Ben, but never in a million years did I think I would get Lucy back. I can't loose her again, it almost killed me. I can't die alone...we still have a chance, might as well take it."

Before either Bobby or Sam could say a word, Dean turned and went up the stairs. Heading up the hallway he rubbed his slightly stubble covered face and turned in on Lucy's bedroom. Opening the door, he saw the late afternoon's sun still floating in.

Lucy was laying on the still unmade bed, sleeping peacefully.

Leaning in the doorway he just stared at her.

Right before the accident at the store, he remembered whenever he was visiting her he would sometimes wake first and just spend an hour or so just watching her sleep. It was comforting and something to give him a little time to reflect. This was back when everything was still okay. They had a son on the way, and the small glimmer of hope to have a bit of a normal life.

Just then Sam gently touched his shoulder, making him jump.

"Sorry."

Sam said in a low voice.

"Sammy listen..."

Sam sighed.

"It's all right...I understand. Trust me, I do. Sometimes I think about if none of this had happened...all of it. What my life with Jess would have been like. Your lucky Dean, really."

Dean sighed.

"I know I'm turning my back on so much, but I can't chance it anymore...besides really you and Bobby, she's the only thing I got. I can't live like dad...not anymore."

Sam patted Dean's back before looking in on Lucy. Faintly smiling he watched her just like his brother.

"She's beautiful...think she'll ever remember what really happened?"

Sam glanced over at Dean who quickly wiped his eyes looking embarrassed.

"Sorry..."

Clearing his throat he looked in on Lucy and Sam felt a pit in his stomach.

He felt horrible.

"What is it?"

"Nothing..."

"Dean..."

Dean glanced over, his tired green eyes raw and worn looking.

"Just thinking about the baby...you have no idea how much I wanted him."

Before Sam could say anything he looked down shaking his head and wiping his eyes. Giving a forced smile he looked back at his brother.

"You know, we were gonna name the baby after dad."

Sam gave a weak smile back before rubbing his brother's arm. Sighing, Dean wiped his eyes again.

"Okay, no chick flick moments...I think I'm gonna lie down with her for a while."

Sam nodded.

"Okay man."

Sam turned and the sound of his footsteps echoed in the hall before going down the stairs. Dean knew they still had a lot to talk about but at this exact moment all he wanted to focus on was just laying down and holding his wife. Shutting the door, he walked across, kicking his boots off before gently laying down beside her.

Opening his arms, he put them around her as she muttered in her sleep. Laying his head against hers, Dean shut his eyes thinking it would be awhile before he fell asleep.

Within a few Minuit he did, listening to the sound of her breathing.

_**Later that night...**_

Sam sat in the darkness of Bobby's kitchen drinking a beer. He had a lot of his mind and he was worried.

Cas hadn't shown up, and he was beginning to feel sick. Taking another gulp from the bottle, he heard Bobby shuffling around down the hall in his study. He knew after another two beers he would join him. Both were thinking the same thing, and were beyond worried.

Just then Lucy walked in, her hair pinned up and her face fresh from sleep.

"Oh, hi Sam."

Sam smiled.

"Hey Lucy...Dean still sleeping?"

Lucy nodded before crossing the room and looking out the window over the sink.

"Yeah, he's exhausted. Guess I was to, I could sleep a whole week it feels like."

Sam smirked.

"You want anything?"

Lucy gave a warm smile before walking towards the stove.

"Just putting on some tea, you okay?"

Sam nodded.

"Yeah...just real glad your back."

Lucy smiled back before taking down a mug and setting it aside before putting some water on. Walking over, she sat down beside him in the darkness. Reaching across she took his hand. Sam looked straight in her eyes and felt the oddest flicker in him.

He knew he was looking at Lucy, but it wasn't right. For a second he remembered the last tired look his father gave the day he died back in the hospital.

The last look of utter fear his brother Adam gave.

The scared and accusing look Jess gave him from the ceiling.

He felt his stomach roll before sighing.

"I honestly thought Dean wasn't going to make it without you Lucy...you're his guardian angel pretty much. He's hurting...but of anyone I know you can bring him back."

Lucy smiled softly at him.

"Thank-you Sam."

"I'm so sorry about the baby...Dean told me what you guys were going to name him."

Lucy stared at him before smiling.

"Yeah..."

"Yeah..."

Suddenly Sam felt uneasy. Lucy let go of his hand and turned towards the stove where the tea was heating up. Watching her, he felt a chill and couldn't seem to place it. Watching her before she left, Lucy smiled at him.

"Night Sam."

"Um, night Lucy."

Once she was gone, Sam began to rub the hand Lucy had touched against his jeans as if he had touched something like girt or dirt, completely unaware he was doing it.

_**The next morning... **_

The Impala's engine was idling in Bobby's driveway. Lucy sat in the passenger seat in slacks and a turtle neck sweater. Dean was behind the wheel, as Bobby and Sam stood together, hands in their pockets.

"We'll drop you guys a line as soon as we get there."

Earlier Bobby had offered for Dean and Lucy to stay at a property of his which was in the next state. It had a small log cabin he had built in the early 1980's, which he mostly just stored stuff. Dean decided it was a good enough place to settle until Lucy and him figured out where they would go from there.

Sam leaned in.

"I guess I'll see ya."

Dean smiled.

"See yeah."

Sam stood back feeling a very strange overwhelming feeling settle upon him as Bobby waved. Lucy smiled waving back before Dean put his sunglasses on and drove away. Watching the Impala take off, Sam and Bobby stood together before both glanced at each other, not exactly knowing what to say.

As Dean drove, he looked at Lucy who had curled up on the seat beside him. Smiling he reached into his shirt and broke the chain that he wore around his neck.

"I almost forgot."

He handed her wedding ring over.

Lucy smiled before taking it.

Right away she sighed.

"Well that sucks."

Dean glanced over.

"What?"

"It doesn't fit. Maybe my fingers are swelling up..."

Dean lowered his sunglasses before his eyebrows raised.

"Really, let me see..."

Trying to keep one eye on the road, he tried to slip her ring on but she was right, it wouldn't even go past her knuckle.

"Huh, that's strange."

Lucy took the ring and put it on the dashboard.

"That's all right, we'll get it fixed."

Leaning in, Lucy rested her head on his shoulder. Smiling, he kissed the top of head before continuing driving. Wanting so badly to just look forward to the future.

_**Two weeks later...**_

Sam hadn't heard from Dean and he was getting worried. Lately he had been having awful nightmares, and besides just a phone call when they first arrived at Bobby's cabin, he hadn't heard one thing. That wasn't like Dean. In fact, it was more like what their father would do.

Bobby was telling him not to worry, but he couldn't help it.

_**At the cabin...**_

Dean stood on the back deck looking at all the beautifier season colors. It was a chilly morning, and leaning against the railing, he never felt so refreshed and happy.

These last few weeks had been wonderful.

Bobby's cabin wasn't much but just a bedroom, a kitchen, a bathroom, and a small living room, but it was cozy, and in the basement had just about every weapon Bobby owned.

The Impala was parked up front near the tool shed.

The cabin was about a mile or so away from a small little town that mostly got busy during the summer. Right now the woods was peaceful and as far as Dean knew, they were the only ones around.

Besides one trip to the local general market for supplies, they had just stayed here. Dean was even thinking maybe holding up for the winter before figuring out exactly where they wanted to go next.

Earlier he had chopped wood and built and nice fire in the fireplace for Lucy who seemed to be exhaustive almost every day.

Funny thing was, so wasn't he.

He hadn't been getting much sleep, nearly every night he woke with a start, never remembering exactly what he dreamed. Lucy was always there though, within reach. He couldn't seem to sleep without her.

She hadn't been saying much, nor wanted to talk about what happened. She was sleeping a lot, and just last night they had attempted to make love again.

Dean couldn't seem to get it up, which was the first time he ever seemed to have a problem in that department. As much as he sweated and swore he just couldn't seem to do it. Finally Lucy rolled away from him and put her arms around his neck, saying it was all right. Both fell asleep, listening to their hearts beating.

Today he woke up before her and decided to build a nice fire for her and just spend the day with her on the sofa. He had big dreams and wanted just to start over.

Turning around, he went in through the back door, inside the house had a certain scent to it, one somebody would find in an old musky attic. It was comforting, and Dean could see him and Lucy staying here for a while.

He found Lucy laying on the couch, a paperback book open with her. Smiling he walked over and nudged her. Looking up, her bangs fallen into her face she smiled before sitting up so he could sit down beside her.

"Hey you."

"Hey."

Dean kissed her cheek before he rubbed her arm looking at the fire.

"Nice her huh?"

Leaning against him she smiled.

"Yeah..."

"Could see us shacking up here for a while...might be nice."

"Yeah, I could see that."

Dean looked at her.

"Maybe in a little time try for another baby...I mean nobody could ever replace John but..."

"Your father?"

Dean looked at Lucy.

"The baby..."

"What?"

Before Dean could say anything he reached over and held a piece of Lucy's hair.

"What the hell, your hair...looks lighter..."

Lucy pulled away before Dean leaned in closer.

"Your face, did you cut yourself?"

Right near Lucy's jawbone it was beginning to bruise.

"Jesus..."

"Leave me be Dean..."

She snapped before getting up and hurrying to the bathroom. Seconds later Dean heard the door slam and that's when he knew something wasn't right. Reaching into his jean pocket he took his cell out and quickly dialed.

It rang once before Sam picked up.

"Dean, I've been trying you for a week...you guys okay?"

"Yeah...listen I don't know if I'm going crazy but I think Lucy might be sick."

"Sick?"

"I don't know..."

Just then Dean heard a noise from the bathroom, almost like broken glass. Shutting the phone before Sam could say another word, Dean quickly walked across the room and knocked on the door.

"Lucy doll?"

No answer.

"Lucy?"

Dean began to hammer on the door with all his might. The door banged against the frame as he waited.

"Lucy, let me in. Come on baby..."

Still nothing.

"Lucy!"

Dean took a step back feeling uneasy before slamming his shoulder against it twice. After the second blow the door buckled and flew open. Dean stood in the doorway shocked.

Lucy stood by the sink which looked as if it had been sprayed in blood. The mirror above it smashed. Dean saw pieces of teeth, skin, and hair hanging from the sink. Lucy was standing there, her back slightly turned.

Dean's eyes widened.

"Lucy?"

She slowly turned and what he saw nearly made him scream.

It wasn't Lucy. Not his wife. It had almost once been, but whatever had been hiding behind her or pretending to be her was breaking out. It's eyes were a greenish blue color. Flesh was cracked and bleeding. Veins were showing an ugly purplish blue color all around her. One eye had a blood ring around it and she looked half wild.

"You...couldn't leave me be..."

"Lucy?"

"I'M NOT FUCKING LUCY!"

Suddenly before Dean's eyes the thing before him transformed into Adam his brother.

"You made us die..."

Then it transformed to his father.

"All of us Dean..."

Then it transformed into his mother.

"All of us."

Finally it transformed back to Lucy. Dean felt his heart drop as he started at it.

"Your a Belphegor."

The thing pretending to be Lucy grinned, tears of blood leaking from its eyes.

"Your clever Dean...not so quick though."

"Why?"

"Why? Because I was one of the lucky ones who escaped and decided to make your life a living hell. I'm everyone you ever cared or loved about who you killed. I'm the guilt inside of you..."

Dean felt a cloud of anger float over him.

"You bastard..."

The thing pretending to be Lucy laughed.

"You really thought I was your little wife? Sorry Dean, she burned alive with your baby..."

That's when Dean's face crumpled in anger, charging towards her he slammed her hard against the wall. Hard enough to make the plaster crumble. The thing screamed before clawing at his chest. Grabbing onto his shoulders, both somersaulted out of the bathroom and went crashing down hard against the hard wooden floors.

Screaming, the thing clawed at Dean as he rolled over, trying to get a grip of it. Flesh and blood, ripping off in his hands. Scrambling up, Dean kicked it underneath it's legs before both circled each other breathing heavy like wild animals.

Just then the thing screamed, charging towards him, slamming up backwards a few feet into the large mirror Bobby had hanging up on one of the walls. The sound of shattering glass filled the cabin before both went tumbling down as huge razor sharp pieces showered down around them.

Dean's vision blurred for a moment before he was able to sit up. Glass and blood were everywhere and the thing that was Lucy was curled up. Blinking, he knew blood was in his eyes, crawling over, he reached over and made it turn over.

A large piece of glass was in its stomach, blood oozing out. The thing laid still and Dean knelt beside it breathing heavy.

He had killed it.

Just then it's eyes flashed open and a large piece of broken mirror was in its hand. Lunging forward it shoved the piece right into Dean's chest with all its might, breaking it off. Dean's eyes widened as the thing shook backwards with its last bit of strength before collapsing backwards.

Dean stared down at the large piece of mirror sticking out of his chest and before he could even think, his eyes rolled back into his head and he fell back hard among the littered glass.

Laying there, Dean breathed heavy, his slowing pulse slowly beating in his head. Laying there staring at the ceiling Dean coughed up a bubble of blood before praying this was it He couldn't do this anymore.

He just wanted to die.

Forty seconds later his heart stopped.

Dean Winchester was dead.

_**Dean's eyes opened.**_

_**He was on the dock by the lake at Bobby's. It was a beautiful clear autumn day.**_

_**Dean slowly sat up when he heard a voice.**_

"_**Hey mister."**_

_**Dean slowly turned and saw a boy, no older than eighteen or nineteen. He was tall, at least six feet. He had a deep Indian summer tan, and his arms were slightly muscular. He wore a white sleeveless T-shirt and blue jeans. His hair was dirty blond and he wore a truckers hat. His eyes were a lovely sparking green.**_

_**Dean blinked and looked around before the boy let out his hand.**_

"_**You need a hand?"**_

_**Dean took a second before grabbing it and standing.**_

"_**Thanks..."**_

_**Looking around Dean seemed confused. **_

"_**Am I..."**_

"_**Dead?"**_

_**Dean looked at the boy before the boy smirked.**_

"_**Yeah, sorry pal...tough break."**_

_**Dean sighed, suddenly thinking of Sam.**_

"_**So did this time around I make it to Heaven?"**_

"_**Yeah...you did."**_

_**Dean looked at the boy with uneasy eyes.**_

"_**You an angel or something?"**_

_**The boy smirked again.**_

"_**Naw, I ain't no angel...pleased to meet you, John."**_

_**Dean shook his hand before his eyes widened. Suddenly he knew how he knew this kid. Staring at him in utter disbelief he became speechless. Reaching forward, he grabbed the kid and hugged him as tight as he could.**_

_**This would have been Lucy and his son.**_

"_**He exists Dean, don't give up...not just yet. You and your brother still have work to do. To prove it to you he's going to give you a little gift..."**_

_**Dean withdrew.**_

"_**What?"**_

_**John smirked before reaching forward and touching Dean.**_

_**A bright white light came over him.**_

Dean woke with a start.

Shooting up, he found himself in the cabin, still sitting among the broken mirror.

The Belphegor was laying dead beside him.

Looking down he saw the piece of mirror was no longer there, instead his T-shirt was torn and bloody. Besides that he was perfectly fine.

Just then the front door was kicked open and Sam and Bobby appeared, both holding guns and stopping in their tracks.

"Dean!"

Dean looked at them before looking to his side.

He froze.

Lucy, dressed exactly as she did when he last saw her was slowly picking herself up from the broken glass, just a few feet away from the Belphegor. Her face was pale, but besides that she was Lucy. He eyes dove gray, her hair black. She wasn't any different or some creature or demon.

He knew right away it was Lucy.

Slowly picking herself up, looking confused and scared she looked over at him.

"Dean?"

Dean stared at her in disbelief.


	24. Chapter 24

"Dean?"

Lucy asked again in her smokey yet shaken voice. Her bare palms crushed down on the broken pieces of mirror that was everywhere. Sam and Bobby stood in the doorway before Dean blinked staring at her.

She was dressed exactly the same way she was when he last saw her in Chicago years ago. Her face was pale but little details Dean hadn't paid attention to before were now much clearer. Her gray eyes, her dark hair, her few freckles. Every single last detail came back into full play.

Dean stared at her before leaning forward and cupping his hand against her face.

"What was the first thing I said to you the night we first met?"

"Come on, you can meet my brat brother."

"What did I make you to eat?"

"PBJ and a glass of milk."

Dean blinked, waiting for any trick before he stared into her eyes.

"What's the last thing you remember?"

Lucy stared at him confused, before locking eyes with him.

"There was an explosion and I died, I was in heaven. The angels were with me. It was by the lake...I kept asking if you were okay but they wouldn't let me leave. Next thing I knew I'm here. Am I dead Dean?"

Dean cupped the other side of her face looking down at her.

"Let me look at you..."

Almost in a trance he stared at her face before suddenly his own began to crumple up.

"Lucy doll?"

Lucy's eyes filled with tears.

"Dean?"

Before Dean could say anything Lucy's eyes rolled back into her head and she fell limp in his arms. It took Dean a second, thinking she had fainted before he saw how still she had become, slumped against him.

"Lucy?"

He shook her.

"Lucy?"

His voice began to raise in panic as he shook her again. Leaning down, he put his ear to her mouth and then her chest before staring up at Bobby and Sam. His face was pale and scared.

"She isn't breathing..."

Bobby and Sam hurried over before Dean leaned down and pinched her nose shut and opened her faded pink lips. Taking a deep breath he breathed into her before lacing his hands together across her breasts and began to pump up and down, softly counting under his breath.

"One, two, three..."

He leaned down again, tilting her head and breathing into her, making her chest rise slightly. Lacing his hands together again he pumped up and down.

"Come on baby..."

Sam and Bobby watched feeling totally helpless before Dean swore under his breath and leaned down to breath again. This time Lucy's eyes fluttered open and Dean drew back. Lucy stared up for a second before coughing.

"Are we in Heaven?"

A sob escaped Dean of utter relief before he gathered her up in his arms, squeezing her tight and burying his face against her shoulder.

"Oh baby..."

Dean began to cry even harder holding into Lucy before she gently pushed away and stared down at the corpse which looked like her, covered in blood and torn up flesh. Her eyes growing wide she looked at it before looking back at all of them.

"What the hell is that?"

_**Later...**_

Bobby was burning the remains while Sam, Dean, and Lucy stood in the kitchen. Dean was sitting on the table. Lucy had a damp washcloth and was dabbing Dean's chest.

"Lucy, I'm not cut..."

Lucy shot Dean a look.

"It's been a long nearly four years, but it's still not long enough for me to put up with your sass, now sit the hell still."

Sam laughed at Dean as Lucy cleaned the rest of the blood off Dean's chest which was showing through his torn shirt. Dean right away reached up and touched her face.

"You okay?"

"Feels like I've been hit with a brick, but I'm okay...I'm real aren't I?"

Earlier Lucy had insisted on Bobby throwing holy water on her, touching her with silver, crosses, salt, and pretty much everything else. She answered some more questions that only she would know and after looking into her eyes one last time, Dean honestly knew it was her.

Lucy stared down at herself before raising her shirt, underneath a bit of a bump was showing. Dean stared at her before Lucy looked up.

"It can't be possible..."

Dean slid off the table.

"I'm taking you to the doctors...and for a blood test."

Lucy rolled her eyes.

"Still think I'm a demon?"

Dean without even another word walked over and grabbed Lucy, throwing her over his shoulder. Sam watched in amazement as Lucy kicked.

"Dean damnit!"

Dean looked partly amused before he let her slide down. Holding her face he stared at her.

"Maybe you came back just like how you were...you look pregnant."

"Dean..."

"Come on..."

"Dean wait, please...just give me a second. I've been dead for almost four years...I've been in Heaven."

"Where?"

"What?"

"In Heaven, me and Sam were there and they said they couldn't find you."

"Like I said, it was by the lake, it was beautiful and there were others, mostly angels...I kept asking about you but they said when it was time I could see you...I just waited. Next thing I know I heard a voice saying...go home...go home...it was so soft and then I woke up here."

Dean exchanged a look with Sam before Lucy tugged on Dean's shirt.

"What?"

Dean looked at her, debating on saying it or not. Finally sighing he looked down at her.

"I woke up there...and there was this teenager, looked sorta like a mix between dad and Adam, my other brother. He said that 'He' was giving me another chance or something, and I had to keep going. Then I woke up and you were here..."

"Wait, he...do you think they meant..."

Sam began when suddenly Cas appeared, staring at Lucy. Jumping slightly, Lucy held onto Dean's arm before looking at him. Cas tilted his head to the side before walking over to her.

"It's you...this time it's you."

Dean shot him a look.

"Would have been awesome to know that earlier Cas."

Without saying anything Cas touched Lucy's arm before lifting his eyes and staring into her eyes.

"Did you see him?"

"Who?"

"God."

"What?"

Dean said in a very annoyed voice. Lucy tugged away from him staring at Cas before shaking her head.

"I don't think so. There were angels with me and they kept me there...I heard a voice telling me to go home and that's it. I died didn't I?"

Cas looked Lucy over before looking at Dean. 

"It's her, but no angel pulled her down. It was something much stronger, something that was protecting her."

"Do you think it was..."

"I'm not sure."

Cas cut off before staring at her tiny bump of a stomach under her shirt.

"But, I do know your son John is inside her."

Right away Dean and Lucy slowly turned and stared at each other.


	25. Chapter 25

_**Two hours later...**_

_Flashes of Joe with his black eyes grinning at her kept flicking back and forth in her mind. The memory of being trapped and running through her store before that horrible pain rushed through her. The sight of that ugly purplish blood gushing from the crotch of her jeans and how hard Joe had laughed, saying that Dean wouldn't be happy about that._

_The terrifying reality hitting her knowing that her baby was hurt, and that she was going to die._

_Then..._

Lucy opened her eyes, sighing to herself before Dean looked down at her. His brow wrinkled and his eyes concerned. Right away he reached down and felt her clammy forehead gently.

"You okay Lucy doll?"

Lucy nodded.

They had gone to the local hospital, about thirty or so miles outside of town. Dean had still kept a good number of Lucy's fake ID's in the trunk of the Impala and they faked her name before taking her in to get looked at. Dean the whole ride had been a nervous wreck, his arm tightly around her and jumping every time Bobby hit a pot hole. Lucy tried to stay calm, sitting beside him and looking down at her stomach.

Sam and Cas had stayed behind while Bobby drove them. Waiting in the lobby, he watched as Dean nervously hurried her to the nurses station. A few minutes later they were taken in. Dean did most of the talking, saying him and his wife were staying at their uncle's cabin and she hadn't been feeling well.

They took her blood pressure, checked her over and questioned how her hands got so scratched. Lucy said she felt faint in the kitchen and nearly passed out and dropped a glass which she fell on. A blood test was drawn and Lucy sat back.

Dean sat close, biting his nails. Once the nurses were far away enough, he leaned in close.

"Why do you think you stopped breathing?"

Lucy looked at him, she was honestly tired and her head was pounding. Shrugging, she sat back.

"Maybe it was too much...I mean this is my body...at least I think it is. I feel fine now."

"You don't look fine."

Reaching out he took her hand.

"You feel cold...let me ask them to get you a blanket..."

Lucy smirked and tugged on his jacket which was covering up his torn shirt.

"Dean, I'm fine relax."

Sighing, Dean sat down beside her before taking her hands and gently kissing them.

"Sorry...it's just...been a real crazy last couple of years...can't really trust happiness."'

Lucy faintly smiled before looking around the room.

"I swear, we make the weird st couple."

Dean smirked.

"Hows that?"

"We've both died, and came back...we aren't exactly saints either..."

Sighing, Dean shook his head.

"Let's not talk about that right now...lets just make sure your okay."

Nodding, Lucy and him waited.

The doctor came a little while after, a young man who right away Dean didn't trust, glaring at him as he sat and began to read from Lucy's file, who was under the fake name of Cindy Collet. The doctor said Lucy seemed perfectly healthy and finally looked up at them.

"And I would like to run an ultrasound to make sure the baby is all right. When is the last time you felt it move?"

Dean and Lucy exchanged a look before Lucy took a deep breath.

"Not for a while...should I be worried?"

"Well I'm sure everything is fine Mrs. Collet, but let's just double check."

The doctor left them again and Lucy looked down at her hands.

"Where's my wedding ring?"

Dean reached into his jacket pocket and pulled it out.

"Been trying to keep this safe, sorry."

Slipping it on, the ring fit perfectly. Lucy sighed looking at it as tears filled her eyes for a moment. Embarrassed, she quickly wiped her eyes before clearing her throat.

"What's wrong honey?"

Lucy looked up.

"What if the baby is dead Dean?"

"Don't talk like that..."

"No, seriously. After everything that has happened, do you honestly believe he's okay?"

Dropping her eyes, Lucy sighed.

"I never told you this, but right before the...explosion...my ex, Joe...showed up, a demon was in him..."

"Shhh, I know..."

Lucy looked up.

"No, you don't. He hurt me real bad Dean...I started bleeding. I think I was having a miscarriage. I was so scared..."

"Shhhh..."

Dean squeezed her hand before finally the doctor came back in.

Lucy's shirt was rolled up and a nurse came in to help. The machine which was on wheels was rolled over and clicked on. The nurse squeezed some jelly onto her stomach, as the doctor took the plastic paddle and sat on a stool beside her.

The nurse flicked the lights off as the tiny screen on the machine flickered on. Waiting, Lucy tried to take deep breaths to relax as the doctor pressed the paddle against her.

"Okay, just lay still and take deep breaths..."

Lucy looked at Dean and right away both exchanged the same thought to each other without even speaking.

"_The baby is dead...it's dead..."_

Lucy laid back and Dean squeezed her hand. He was tense and watched the doctor closely. The doctor frowned and right away Dean felt his heart leap in his chest. Waiting, the room hushed over with an odd silence as the doctor sat back.

Just then a steady echo of a thumping filled the room loudly.

Lucy's eyes opened as she stared up at Dean.

The thumping continued loudly as the doctor smiled over at them. Dean couldn't help it, he blinked away tears before trying to clear his throat.

"Is that...""

"The heartbeat...very strong, and from the looks of it the baby is fine. Moving around a little, see."

Lucy burst into tears and quickly covered her face as Dean continued to squeeze her hand and listen to his son's heart beat.

_**Later...**_

"Whoa Dean, slow down..."

Lucy said as Dean climbed on top of her in the backseat of the Impala. The windows were fogging up and Dean was in a frenzy. His hands were sliding up Lucy's shirt, cupping her breasts and trying to undo her jeans.

Both were parked off a back road on their way back to the cabin. Dean kept waiting to wake up from this wonderful yet very strange dream, and was terrified it would all end within seconds. Covering her mouth with his, he kissed her deeply before lifting his head up.

"Am I hurting you?"

Lucy laughed.

"No, of course not...just take it slow."

Dean laced his hand with her, squeezing it tight before pressing his forehead against hers.

"I'm never going to let you go away Lucy...I promise..."

Kissing her down her neck, his free hand slid across her stomach where he stared down at her. Faintly smiling, Lucy kissed him before cupping his face.

"I've been waiting for so long..."

Dean quickly unzipped his jeans, he knew if he wanted any longer he wasn't going to make it. Breathing, nearly panting he tugged roughly at Lucy's jeans. Both gently kissed each other but Dean felt himself getting worked up quickly, a swelling bulge had formed in his boxer briefs and it seemed to almost have a pulse. Lucy's fingers traced down his stomach before pulling at them and laying back. Dean grabbed himself in position and didn't even give her a chance to adjust herself before he eased his way in and snapped his eyes shut when he entered her. Lucy gasped for a second before Dean settled. Staring down at her, he grabbed one of her hanging legs by his side and lifted it.

Smiling down at her, Lucy laughed back.

"What?"

"Just thinking..."

Dean said as he gently began to thrust into her, holding one of her legs to the side.

"About?"

"About how many times we've screwed in the back of this car."

Throwing her head back, Lucy laughed before reaching up and wrapping her arms around Dean's neck. Bringing him down closer to her, she kissed his stubble covered face before Dean's hands went up her shirt again. Snapping her bra open, his hands covered her breasts as he pressed the side of his face with hers. The car dully creaked as Dean began picking up a pace. Both were exhausted, but Dean kept shutting his eyes as he pressed himself against her. Lucy squirmed underneath him before Dean leaned down kissing her again.

"_We're together now...we're not dead, we're together...all of us...and nothing is going to change that."_

Dean thought as he going to last longer, but suddenly he gripped Lucy as tight as he could, her legs spread and his body's full weight pressing down on her. Biting her neck, he groaned.

Snapping his eyes shut, he grabbed into her and pumped into her once, twice, then finally cried out. Lucy who was in the middle of her own orgasm tilted her head back as Dean grunted and emptied himself completely before lifting his head. Their faces were flushed and drained of any energy they once had. Staring down at her, Dean began to laugh.

"Sonofabitch...not like I used to be huh Lucy doll?"

Lucy laughed before laying back, lowering himself on her again, Dean laughed kissing her before shutting his eyes. Laying on top of her, he didn't know how long exactly they stayed that way. Listening to each other breath as she played with his hair. Finally he slid down and pressed his ear against her stomach.

"Hey baby...I promised I was gonna take care of you and your mom...and as messed up as your life is...with you not even being born yet, I swear I'm going to make sure your happy."

Turning, he kissed her stomach before looking up at Lucy. With a smile he asked...

"Say, in the mood for some pie?"

_**Later...**_

They didn't make it to the small coffee shop beside a farmer's market they passed earlier which was about three or so miles outside of town. While they were dressing, Dean found himself getting excited again and after a few kisses, both were back down in the back seat of the Impala again. The second time, they had finally managed to get dressed and Dean sat behind the wheel ready to start the engine when Lucy's hand slid into the crotch of his jeans. Gently feeling him up and down, he felt himself get hard in an instant. Lucy, who was pinning her hair up with her free hand laughed and slowly lowered herself down.

Dean's eyes widened and he gripped the steering wheel as Lucy performed her magic. The last time they did this seemed forever ago and twice Dean nearly drove off the road.

Finally the reached the coffee shop. Dean ordered a whole pie for the two of them along with some coffee and ice cold milk. In the booth, they sat together and Dean was beaming proudly, telling the waitress to keep it coming.

"I got myself a pregnant lady over here."

Lucy rolled her eyes nudging Dean's side before Dean smiled and ruffled Lucy's hair and kissed the top of her head. Together they polished off the pie.

The coffee shop wasn't busy and the view from their booth was breath taking of the woods that seemed a million different shades of color. Together they ate before finally Lucy set her fork down, Dean was surprised she had eaten so much and smiled as he dug into another slice.

"So, tell me everything?"

"Huh?"

Dean asked wiping his mouth with his sleeve. Lucy smiled picking her fork up again and digging in once more.

"What's happened since...I've been sorta out of the loop...and I know a lot has happened."

Dean sighed suddenly feeling very full.

"That might take all night Lucy doll..."

"Then let's order ourselves another pie."

Dean smiled and nodded, she had every right to know and in all honestly she was the only person he felt he could talk to. Once, very long ago it had been his brother. He needed to tell her everything. Even though it had just been a few years, it seemed like a lifetime.

Taking a deep breath he waved the waitress over who was snapping some fruit flavored gum.

"Another pie please?"

Lucy smiled.

_**Later...**_

Two empty pie tins laid before them, along with three pots of coffee that Dean polished off, and a very tall empty mason jar that held Lucy's milk. Dean couldn't believe how hungry he had been, but knew most of it was pure nerves. In just three hours he had told her everything.

About Ruby double crossing them, Sam killing Lilith, Lucifer rising, Castiel, the war with Zachariah. Adam their brother, the ghouls, the monsters, the demons. Michael, the four horsemen, death, the rings, and their plan.

He told her about the cemetery that day and the pit opening up. How Sam and Adam had fallen in.

He briefly told her about going to Lisa and Ben. He knew he had nothing to hide but that part of his life he wasn't proud of. He told her how hard it was trying to move on and be normal, and a few times he paused not really knowing what to say. Lucy ate watching him and finally reached across and gently touched his hand.

"Dean, you have nothing to be ashamed of...I was dead."

"That isn't any excuse..."

"Yes it was, I'm glad you were happy there...are they safe?"

"Who?"

"Lisa and Ben?'

"I think so."

"Then that's all that matters."

Dean was happy to move on. He spoke about Sam returning, Samuel, his cousins, knowing something wasn't right with Sam. How he had returned without a soul, and what he went through to get it back and make him not remember...

He talked and talked until finally he was worn out. Now here they were. It had just been a week since Lisa and Ben were kidnapped and now as far as Dean knew, they were safe. He knew there was something on the verge of happening, and he knew it was only a matter of time before the angels took over.

Lucy sat with him in silence for a second before lowering her head and shaking it. Quickly Dean heard giggles escape her. Raising an eyebrow he watched her before she looked up, her hand over her mouth as she continued to giggle.

"Sorry...it's just...Jensen Ackles? What the hell kind of name is that?"

Right away Dean felt better, it felt as if a weight had been lifted and instead of saying anything else he just laughed with his wife.

On the drive back, Dean drove with one arm around Lucy and the other holding the wheel. This wasn't like before. Lucy was real and so wasn't their baby...

He was getting another chance.

They arrived after nightfall to a very worried Sam and Bobby. Dean informed them that the baby was fine and Sam and Bobby right away hugged Lucy as tight as they could. By then the glass and mess had been cleaned up and a new fire had been lit.

The four of them sat around the fire, Sam, Dean, and Bobby had beers while Lucy laid against Dean and listened to them talk. For once they weren't talking about everything that was going wrong. Finally they seemed happy...

"What was it like?"

Sam asked, looking across at Lucy. By then the fire had died down some and Dean caught her yawning under her hand a few times.

"What?"

"Your heaven...what exactly was it like?"

Lucy sat up slightly on the sofa.

"Um...it was peaceful. One second I'm in my store, hurt real bad and then nothing. I woke up on the shore of the lake near Bobby's. Remember how we used to go there all the time as kids? It was how it was like now, autumn, breezy, but nice...peaceful I guess. The sky was pretty clear and I remember sitting up and looking across the water. There were others there, dressed in black...angels I think. They all just sat around watching the water. At first I was scared then this nice older man talked to me...Joshua."

Dean and Sam exchanged a look as Lucy went on.

"I was kinda scared, wandering around...begging for somebody to talk to me. He walked over perfectly calm and rested his hand on my shoulder and said everything was going to be all right. I asked if I was dead and he said yes, and I asked if you were okay Dean and he chuckled and said yes. I started to cry, asking about the baby and what happened, but he told me to sit with him. We sat underneath a tree and he said I had to stay here for a while...but I would see you again. Then I started hearing that voice telling me to come home and next thing I knew I'm laying on the cabin floor. It felt no more than a few hours, and here I am...exactly as I was years later, baby and all."

Sam sighed before looking down at his hands. Lucy yawned again excusing herself and saying she wanted to take a nice hot shower if that was okay. Everyone stood up as Bobby began to collect the beer bottles that had gathered on the table. Sam shuffled his feet before Lucy looked at him.

Lucy walked over to Sam, smiling before standing on her tip toes and kissing his jaw line. Standing back she gave him a playful punch and smirked before glancing at Bobby who smiled and waved at her.

"Get some sleep pretty, we've all had a tough time getting on without you...most of all your husband over here."

Lucy glanced at Dean who was rolling his eyes before smiling and taking her hand.

"Listen, we can crash in the Impala..."

Bobby shook his head.

"No, you two get the bedroom tonight before we head back, me and Sam will bunk out here. Get some rest kiddo."

Winking at Lucy, Bobby smiled and Dean got the faint sense of family again. A feeling he never could really trust. Lucy headed to the bathroom while Dean helped Bobby finish cleaning up.

Sam stood beside him.

"You okay man?"

Dean looked before slowly nodding.

"Yeah...first time I can honestly say that in years."

"You think everything is okay?"

"Hell if it isn't."

Sam smirked before patting his brother's arm. Walking down the hall, Dean found the bathroom unlocked and walked in. Steam had all ready floated in the air and he shut the door behind him. The plastic shower curtain was drawn and he saw the naked figure of Lucy behind it. The sound of the shower running filled his ears as he looked at the smashed mirror over the sink and sighed.

Peeling off his shirt and unbuckling his jeans, he walked over to the shower and yanked the curtain back. Lucy turned, her hair still pinned up and a soft smile on her lips. Dean looked her up and down and smiled before stepping in. Right away the steaming hot water felt wonderful against his body. Putting his hands around Lucy's lips, the two stepped underneath the pouring hot water and began to kiss.

_**Later...**_

Dean was sorting through his bag for clothes. Lucy used the bathroom before joining him and shutting the door. Thin moonlight spilled in as she sat on the edge of the bed and sighed. Her hair was still up and she had a towel around her neck, gently patting herself dry.

"That really all happened?"

Dean paused before looking at her.

"Yes."

Sighing Lucy looked.

"I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"For not being here...I should have, I'm sorry."

Dean turned, in the middle of trying to find some clothes that were warm enough for Lucy to sleep in. The clothes that...thing had brought he didn't want her anywhere near. Frowning, he shook his head.

"Don't you dare say that, Lucy you were...murdered, taken away from me, now I don't care why or how but your back...and so isn't our baby and I'm making good on that promise that I'm done, I'm a dead quit. I got a family to think about now."

Lucy stared at him.

"I would love that, but after everything you just told me...I don't think that can happen."

"Screw everything else..."

"You want to believe that, but you can't. I know you Dean. We'll figure something out, but we'll do it together. Maybe it really was God or the angels that sent me back down to help or maybe stay by your side. I don't know..."

"Bullshit..."

"Maybe, who knows...but look at us, we're the poster couple for supernatural and tragedy. We've died enough times to know there's something else out there and that there's a war going on...something if we can help from happening we should."

"And the baby?"

Lucy stretched and shrugged.

"Whatever happens as long as he's safe. I would love for him to have a normal childhood but I knew what I was getting into when I said yes to becoming a Winchester. This baby is the most important thing to us and as long as he's okay that's all right."

Sighing, Dean rubbed his neck before walking over and sitting beside her. Holding her hand, he stared at her.

"I love you Lucy...I'm just...tired that's all."

"Me too Dean, but we got responsibility. Just as long as the baby is safe, we'll figure it out...take it one step at a time, I mean once we've been to Heaven, Hell, and back...you can pretty much face anything."

Smirking, Dean nodded before looking at her.

"Lucy listen, about Lisa..."

Lucy shook her head.

"It's all right...were you happy?"

"Huh?"

"Were you happy?"

"Sorta...but it wasn't you. I tried to be normal."

"Just didn't fit?"

"Yeah, I guess so."

"Well that's that then. You don't need to explain yourself."

Dean stared down at the floorboards before nodding and looking at her.

"You still my Lucy doll?"

Lucy smiled.

"Always."

The two of them kissed before Dean gave her some warm clothes of her to wear. Watching her chance he smiled looking at her stomach. Once they were dressed and ready, the two climbed into bed and covered themselves up. Lucy slid in beside him, nuzzling his head before resting her head on his chest. Dean kissed the top of her head before staring at the ceiling and softly saying out loud...

"Thank you..."

_**Three weeks later...**_

Castiel, or what once was Castiel slowly walked into the lake. Disappearing under the surface, the leviathans then burst, spilling an ugly black ooze and traveling in millions of different directions.

Sam, Bobby, Dean, and Lucy all stood out of breath on the shore.

Lucy's face dropped watching.

"And why am I not surprised that happened?"


	26. Chapter 26

"_Bobby? Lucy?"_

_Bobby and Lucy were slummed against the wall, broken glass surrounding them. Dean was unable to move as the thing that had taken over Castiel stood before him. Slowly both Bobby and Lucy sat up, a little dazed from being thrown. Dean saw Lucy's lip was bleeding. Both sat there stunned at what theyw ere seeing._

"_How many of you ass clowns are in there? Hundred? More?"_

_Black blood began to drip from Castiel._

Sam, Dean, Lucy, and Bobby all piled into the Impala. Sitting between Dean and Sam was Castiel's soaked trench coat. The four of them drove in silence. Bobby and Lucy sat in the back seat and more than once Lucy caught Dean's eyes in the rear-view mirror.

Finally they pulled off at a gas station where Dean killed the engine. For a second the four of them didn't say a word before Bobby rubbed his beard covered his face opened up his door.

"Excuse me kids, I need some jerky..."

Sam smirked before glancing at Dean.

"You okay?"

Dean glanced over.

"Yeah, you?"

Sam quickly nodded, right away it was clear he didn't want to talk about it and mumbled something about filling up the gas tank and nearly fumbled to open his door. Once he was gone, Dean turned around and stared at Lucy.

Castiel had thrown Lucy pretty hard against the wall earlier, when it had happened Dean's heart had gone up in his throat.

"You okay?"

'"A little sore, but I'm okay."

Dean leaned over the seats before cupping her face with his hands and looking her over with serious eyes.

"That's it, you're not doing this anymore."

"Any what?"

"Jobs, hunts, Cas could have killed you..."

"That wasn't Cas."

"Yeah well, you're five months pregnant...you're in no condition to be doing this."

"I'm fine Dean...and baby is fine to."

"Yeah well we're still going to the doctors..."

His hand touched a tender bruise that had traveled to her bare collarbone. Sighing, Lucy nodded.

"I'm sure everything is fine...are you okay?"

"What?"

"Cas gone...you okay?"

Dean glanced down at the trench coat before sighing.

"I'm fine..."

"Bullshit Dean...

Dean dropped his eyes for a second.

"I just...can't believe he's gone."

"He loved you a lot Dean."

"Huh?"

"Cas...I know you don't want to believe it, but it's true. You guys weren't just friends...you were family. I think that's why he didn't kill us."

Dean leaned against his seat looking back at her before putting one of his hands against the side of his face. He not only looked exhausted, he looked sorta lost. Staring at him, Lucy could clearly see how these past few years had taken it's toll on him. He looked older, and his sparking green eyes with flecks of hazel seemed heartbroken. Reaching over she dully squeezed his arm.

"Listen, I believe Bobby was right...wherever Cas is, I'm sure he's at peace. That's one thing you had to hand to him...he never stopped believing in what was right, even when all of his brothers fell and turned against him."

Dean frowned.

"I hope so...damnit Cas..."

Dean said as he looked at the coat again. Just then Sam and Bobby were approaching the car. Dean lifted his eyes and looked at Lucy, almost pleading.

"Mind just keeping this between us Lucy doll?"

Lucy softly smiled and nodded.

"Of course."

Dean patted his wife's hand before turning back around, trying his hardest to block out any of the pain he was feeling from loosing his friend.

_**Two days later...**_

Lucy stood in her bedroom humming softly and folding clothes. Tomorrow she was heading to Rufus' cabin, another one of Bobby's little hide outs. It was the next state over, but in a very safe area. Mostly a seasonal town, busy during the summer due to the lake which was five or so miles away. Besides that it had a total of two thousand at best people living there, everything else was just cabins in the woods, which was like the one she was planning on going to.

Dean had forced the issue the moment he made her go back to the doctor's. A lie about getting in a car wreck had been told and besides a swelled lip and a few bumps and bruises, she was perfectly okay. She had noticed the relief on Dean's face when he heard the baby's heartbeat again, almost as if he hadn't been able to take a breath before he could hear it again.

Lucy wanted to help most of all with the leviathans running loose, but Dean put his foot down and that's where it stayed. She hadn't been back more than a month now and all ready enough had happened. At first she said she would simply stay at Bobby's, but Dean said he wanted her someplace else...someplace nobody had ever heard of.

The three weeks before all of this happened with Cas had been good ones. Lucy was thrown back into the year 2011 and trying to deal with the fact she had been murdered and brought back for some reason. Cas didn't have any answers, but by then things were falling apart with him. Deep down inside Lucy liked to think maybe, just maybe it had something to do with God. She prayed every night, and knew how worried Dean was.

A wall had been built for Sam, and Dean had explained everything. She could tell he was watching his younger brother closely, and now that the wall had been turned down, Bobby and him had been nervous wrecks.

Before everything fell apart, Dean did drive her to Chicago. It was a time they needed, just the two of them in the car. Dean answered her questions about what had happened in the last few years as best he could. Finally she got him smiling when she asked if any good movies had been released.

They arrived on the street where her store once stood and now an empty lot laid out before them. Dean had parked the Impala, and Lucy just sat there staring. Nothing was there now besides a few crumbled bits of brick. Lucy had owned the property but that had been tied up after she died and given to Dean. Now the lot belonged to the city.

"Wanna get out and look?"

Dean asked.

Lucy sat looking out the window, remembering Joe's black eyes and how scared she was for her baby's life. Slowly shaking her head, she turned towards him.

"No, I'm good..."

Dean nodded and drove off.

That night they laid together in a motel room not saying much, just listening to the wind outside.

She knew he was worried.

Now with the things with Cas and the leviathans, she didn't exactly think this was the best time to step down, but Dean insisted and finally Bobby and Sam took his side.

Dean had held her by the shoulders, looking her straight in the eye.

"You got our baby to think about Lucy doll...please."

Lucy finally agreed and began to pack, before doing so she made Dean make her a promise.

"We've both died too many times...promise me you'll take care of yourself. This baby needs a father just as much as he needs a mother."

Dean gently had kissed her forehead and said he would.

Downstairs Sam was resting, Lucy got the sense that Dean was more than a little worried about him. Humming, she closed her suitcase and latched the sides. Turning, she walked to her vanity and picked up one of her snow globes.

Snow globes had been her thing when she was younger and just started living at Bobby's. She was a huge tom boy growing up and really never took the time to think about such things as dresses, dolls, makeup, and prom. Instead she was comfortable just wearing jeans and a T-shirt and researching with Bobby in his study. While other girls were busy with dates, talking on the phone, and shopping...she was out hunting monsters, reloading and cleaning guns, and learning how to take cars apart.

Sure once she reached seventeen and eighteen she came into her own. She began to take more interest in herself. She remembered she went to prom with some kid named Rudy, who wore leather jackets and appeared to have been sucked straight from the 1950's. He was one of the local bad boys and Lucy remembered hearing from Bobby how jealous Dean was when he found out she went after all.

She remembered wearing torn fishnets, short skirts, and low cut band T-shirts. She remembered working part time, and going to the movies with her friends. She remembered dying her hair, and even sneaking pot with Dean in the junk yard one month he was visiting and they didn't seem to want to kill each other. So many memories spilled back but she remembered as much as she tried, she was never your normal teenage girl. As much as she pretended, that was the truth.

Her one thing was her snow globes though.

She began collecting them when she was fifteen. It started first with John bringing her back one for her birthday. Him and the boys had gone to Salem Mass, to hunt a local group of witches and picked up the tiny little snow globe she now held in her hand.

Shaking it she watched the glittering orange and black sparkles fall over the tiny little cemetery that was trapped inside.

Scanning her dresser, she saw she owned around thirty or so. It sorta began as her thing and whenever John or the boys were on the road and things weren't too crazy...they could pick her up one. She treasured theses and even saw the last one she had gotten which was at least eight or so years old. Dean had picked it up in a small mining town in PA. Shaking it she smiled and set it down. Sighing, she looked at her reflection and turned to her side.

Her stomach was showing clearer now, the bump had just began to take shape and whenever she lifted her shirt you could see it much better. Sliding her hands against her skin she sighed.

Her baby...

Smiling she looked over her snow globes again before picking up the tiny one John had gotten her in Salem and put it in her tote bag she was bringing. Looking around, she saw that was pretty much it.

"We acted like he had everything under control!"

Lucy heard Dean raise his voice downstairs and frowned. She knew how worried he had been about Sam and even she couldn't take his mind off it. The night before, both laid in bed restless. Dean kept tossing and turning before saying there wasn't enough blankets for her and grabbed some from down the hall. Coming back, Lucy hiked herself up and stared at him.

"You okay?"

Dean shook his head.

"Yeah fine..."

Climbing in next to her, he gave the top of her head and kiss and laid down beside her.

Lucy stepped closer to her open door, trying to hear what was going on downstairs. Sighing she hoped everything was okay, she knew everyone was on edge, mostly after what had happened. Touching her tender lip, she leaned against the doorway when she faintly heard Bobby mumble about going back to work.

Walking back to her suitcase she made sure everything was snapped shut when she started to drag it off the bed.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!"

Lucy turned, looking over her shoulder as Dean hurried in. Quickly he took the suitcase and set it down.

"You shouldn't lift anything heavy Lucy! Damnit!"

Lucy looked at him.

"Hey, what the hell is your problem?"

Dean shot her a look.

"What?"

Lucy put her hands on her lips.

"I know you're upset, but it doesn't mean you have to freak out."

Dean turned, glaring at her.

"Lucy, I've been through hell and back...literately. I've all ready lost you and the baby once, there's monsters running crazy everywhere, and Sam is cracking up...so yeah I'm a little on edge."

"Well I'm not made of fucking glass Dean, I'm not gonna break...that all ready happened all ready."

"Yeah and it's my business to make sure it doesn't happen again."

Lucy took a step closer, cocking her head to the side before gently touching his arm.

"What is it?"

Dean looked at her, the anger fading from his eyes.

"It's just...Sam...I'm worried. I think he's cracking up."

"That it?"

Dean frowned before lowering her head.

"Sorry I snapped...just worried."

"Hey..."

Gently she made him lift his head and look at her. Staring straight in his eyes she gave a small smile to show him everything was all right.

"I'm okay, the baby is okay...Sam is going to be okay...all right?"

Faintly smiling, Dean wrapped his arms around Lucy and gave her a dull squeeze.

"Sorry Lucy doll..."

Kissing the top of her head again, he stared out the window.

"We better get going."

"All right, let me say goodbye to Sam and Bobby..."

Dean nodded as Lucy slipped out of his arms and began to head down the hall. Standing in the bedroom for a second he smirked and picked up her suitcase before following her. Slowly making his way down the stairs, he knew he had to get himself under control. He knew he could take to Lucy about this sort of stuff and that maybe on the ride he tell him honestly what was going on. His head was pounding down and he craved another drink, but knowing he had to drive him and Lucy he knew it was going to have to wait.

Finding Lucy downstairs, she was sitting beside Sam on the sofa. Both were hugging before Lucy withdrew and stared at him with serious eyes.

"You're going to be all right...okay?"

Sam nodded, looking guilty before Lucy kissed his forehead and got up. Bobby leaned against the doorway, a beer in his hand. Walking over she kissed his cheek and gave him a hug.

"Take care of yourself kiddo."

Bobby then looked down at her and smiled.

"Another damn edgit...oh Jesus."

Laughing, Lucy gave him another hug before turning towards Dean as she began to slip her coat on.

"Ready?"

"Yeah, I'll be back later guys...call me if anything happens."

He casted a glance at Sam before nodding and slipping his hand into Lucy's.

_**Later... **_

Both drove up to the cabin mostly in silence. Dean had the heat on and the radio going soft. Lucy sat beside him, picking at the fabric of her bag. Finally Dean glanced at her and sighed.

"I miss him."

Lucy raised an eyebrow.

"Hum?"

"Cas...I...just can't believe he's gone. God knows he was stupid enough, but he was still my friend, and I don't have a lot of those. I feel like with everything happening there should have been something I could have done. I don't know, maybe it's guilt."

Lucy frowned.

"It's all right Dean, your human...your allowed to feel like this. It's not like both of your parents are gone, your friends have been killed, your brother, yourself...me...the baby..."

Dean smirked and gave her a little whack on the arm before taking her hand and kissing it.

"I don't know...just tired. I wish more than anything I didn't have to leave you again..."

"Hey your not..."

"Yes I am...I just get you back and now I need to hide you away. Lucy...it's just with everything and Sam..."

"Shhhh, it's all right. I'll be fine...this is what you want and I'll lay low. You just have to promise me you'll still be alive to see our son be born, all right?"

Dean smiled.

"I promise."

They drove on, talking mostly about nothing. Lucy could sense there was more on Dean's mind but didn't want to push it. Instead they just drove down the back roads of the woods before they reached the cabin.

Dean carried in Lucy's things and inside it looked like your typical small log cabin. There were two bedrooms, a kitchen, bathroom, sundeck, and living room/study. The furniture had sheets over it and were dusty, and the same stuffy attic smell drifted in the air.

Right away Dean began to open the windows as Lucy pulled the sheets off everything and shook them out on the porch.

Dean tested the heat, the lights, and the hot water. Everything looked to be in check.

"Let's go into town, get you some stuff from the market..."

The two rode together to the town, that seemed pretty dead that afternoon and went to the market. Dean kept mumbling how he didn't like the idea of her not having a car with her and how if there was a really bad storm what would happen if the roads got blocked. Lucy listened in amusement seeing he was crabby, and checked out.

The ride up, he told her he was leaving her flashlights, batteries, and plenty of cell phones in case something happened to hers.

"I'll be back in a week, don't worry...I'll talk to Bobby and maybe he can lend you a clunker. I'll even see about the doctor around here, Bobby says he's a good guy, trustworthy..."

Dean kept mumbling to himself and Lucy just listened, staring out the window taking in how beautiful it looked outside. Finally they got back to the cabin. Lucy unloaded the food while Dean checked over the cabin once again and started the fireplace.

"Don't lift too much wood, you got plentifully in here but I don't want you going out and breaking your back to pick it up."

Lucy rolled her eyes.

"Jesus Dean, you act like I've never lived alone..."

"Yeah well you've never been five months pregnant with monsters running around."

He mumbled back. Last but not least, Dean showed her the three guns he was leaving here. One under the bed, one under the sofa, and one by her bed. Lucy knew how to fire all three so he didn't have to teach her.

"If anything besides us comes...you shoot first and ask questions later, you hear me?"

Lucy nodded before finally there was nothing else to do. Settling on the sofa, Lucy watched as Dean built her a big fire and walked back over, cupping his hands and blowing into them.

"It still feels too damn cold in here..."

Walking over, he rubbed her arms and grabbed a blanket before draping it over her shoulders.

"If it gets too bad here I'm seriously just a phone call away. Like I said, a week at the most Lucy then I'll be back."

"Dean sit down, your making me nervous."

Sighing, Dean sat beside her before she draped some of the blanket over him as well. Dean faintly smiled before putting his arm around her and sitting back watching the fire.

"You know, I could stay the night."

Lucy shook her head.

"No, I'll be all right, you got Sam to worry about. Just be careful okay?"

Dean nodded before Lucy kissed his cheek.

"Thanks for everything."

Dean looked at her with uneasy eyes, she could tell he was nervous.

"Wish it could be more, but you'll be safe here Lucy. I promise."

Lucy smiled back before resting her head on his shoulder. After a second Dean glanced at her and she laughed.

"What?"

Dean leaned over and softly kissed her before his hand crept up and cupped her breast. Smiling, Lucy nuzzled his neck before whispering in his ear...

"I thought you had to get back?"

Dean shut his eyes, almost in pain.

"Yeah...I know..."

Laughing, Lucy's hand went down to the crotch of his jeans and gave a dull squeeze, more than enough to make his eyes budge out of his head. Laughing, Lucy continued to kiss him before her fingers found the copper zipper of his jeans and slowly dragged them down. A moment later, her hand was slowly moving up and down, a faint slapping noise filling the room. Dean tilted his head back with his eyes shut moaning.

_**Later...**_

Lucy stood in the doorway, waving to the Impala as the headlights danced across the cabin. A moment later it was gone. Sighing, Lucy shut the door and locked it before fishing out of her blouse something.

Dean's necklace.

Sam had given it to her earlier. He explained how Dean had thrown it out at a motel and he had fished it out. Walking over to the fireplace, Lucy hung it over one of the hooks before heading to the bedroom.

Unaware to her, it was beginning to glow.

_**Later...**_

Dean programed Sam's GPS on his phone as Bobby and him stood in the kitchen. He had gotten back about an hour ago and all ready missed Lucy.

"And you?"

Bobby leaned against the counter, crossing his arms.

"How are you doing?"

"Seriously Bobby, this isn't like he's hexed. What if this is the kind of crazy you can't fix?"

"Yeah, I'm worried to, but...humor me for a second, how are you doing?"

Dean shot a look.

"Who cares...don't you think our mailbox is a little full right now?"

"Right, and you were pissed at him for saying the same thing just a couple of hours before he spilled his marbles all over the floor?"

"Yeah well...I'm not Sam. I keep my fricking marbles in a led box."

Dean said as he poured himself a cup of coffee.

"I'm fine..."

"Yeah, of course...lost one of the only friends you ever had, your brother is in the bell jar, you just got your pregnant wife back who you're worried sick about...and you have supernaturals most water for surfing the sewer lines...but yeah your fine."

Dean and Bobby looked at each other.

"Good..."

Sitting down at the table, Dean didn't want Bobby to keep looking at him.

"Course when you decide that's utter horse crap, I'm here...always am."

"What you wanna do couple's yoga or get back to hunting the big bads."

"Shut up...edgit."

Both Dean and Bobby smirked before going back to work.

That night Dean laid awake and texted Lucy before bed.

_**You okay?**_

_**Yeah, everything all right?**_

_**Yeah, miss you Lucy doll.**_

_**Miss you too. Night 3**_

_**What the hell was that?**_

_**What?**_

_**3**_

_**It's a heart stupid.**_

_**I don't see it.**_

_**Shut up.**_

_**Love you too, night Lucy doll**_

_**Night.**_


	27. Chapter 27

Bobby's house had burned down.

Dean's heart sank as he stared at the charred smoking remains. This was the only place he could somewhat call home. A place his father had brought them to so many years ago, a place where he met Bobby, the closest thing to a father the boys had now. A place where they felt safe, a place that had always been there, a place where he met his wife at, the place she had grown up in, and the place they had fallen in love in. Staring at it, he shook his head before turning. Quickly he dialed his phone and listened.

It rang once, twice...

"Come on Lucy, answer the phone..."

It rang a third time when finally he heard her pick up, her voice sounding groggy and half asleep.

"Um, Dean?"

Sweet relief swept over him as he held his head.

"Oh thank Jesus..."

"Dean? What is it?"

Lucy asked, still sounding half awake. Dean shut his eyes, the moment he saw the burnt remains of the house, horrible memories of what had happened in Chicago played in his mind.

"Nothing...have you heard from Bobby."

"Bobby? No...why did something happen?"

Dean wanted to say no, but he had been terrified ever since he left her a few days ago that something was going to happen to either her or the baby again. He knew this was stupid, but from the moment he woke up on that cabin floor, seeing the real her...he had been on edge. He couldn't trust happiness, he couldn't trust how relieved, confused, and scared he was. For the last few years ever since he lost her in the explosion, he felt as if his will to live was slowly slipping away. This hard driven edge to him had been forming ever since his father died. Less and less things were becoming important to him. Then when he lost Sam, he lost that will and decided he had nothing to live for. This was back when he honestly never believed he would ever get Lucy back and had ruined any chance of a future they had years ago.

He sold his soul, and as his time began to run out, he saw what was truly important and became scared. He knew how there was still so much life inside of him, and that he loved Lucy and Sam too much to leave them forever. That's when he knew he didn't want to die, nor go to Hell. Once it had happened, and those forty years slowly decayed against his mind of torture, pain, and blood...he hardened and honestly never believed he would get over what he escaped.

But by then he had Lucy, he had a chance of a future, and something right to fight for. Soon he thought he had a family now, something to look forward to, something worth living for...

When they were taken, that will began to crumble and he felt as if he was going half insane. He kept fighting, and finally once he got her back...he couldn't trust it.

Once all ready he had been fooled, but he knew this was his Lucy doll. He knew his son, who had been murdered before he was even able to be born was inside of her. He knew someone or something gave him finally a break from all this heartache.

He didn't want to fight anymore. He just wanted to take her far away and be safe.

He was terrified something was going to happen and hated himself for not being with her.

"Dean?"

Lucy asked, making him snap out of it. She sounded more awake now, and more than a little worried. Taking a deep breath Dean shook his head. The last thing he wanted was to tell her about the house or the fact Bobby was missing. He had visions of Lucy working herself into a miscarriage and being all alone.

"Nothing Lucy doll, just tried calling eariler and you didn't pick up."

"Really? I didn't hear it go off, did you leave a voice mail?"

"Naw, maybe I was calling the wrong number, sorry to be freaking out...guess I'm being stupid."

"Dean, is that all? You okay?"

"Yeah I'm fine, guess I was just being too nervous, Sammy keeps telling me to chill."

He heard her faintly laugh on the other line, a sound that somewhat calmed him down during what he believed was being a full blown panic attack.

"I think Sam is right, everything else okay?"

"Yeah, sorry I woke you Lucy doll...I'll be coming to see you real soon. How's my boy doing?"

Another faint laugh.

"Good, he's good."

Dean smirked, trying to keep his voice calm.

"All right, well I'll let you two get back to sleeping. Love you Lucy doll."

"Love you too Dean."

He waited until she hung up before trying Bobby. By then he found his hands were shaking.

It went straight to voice mail.

"This is Bobby Singer's direct hotline. You should not have this number."

There was a beep and Dean sighed.

"You cannot be in that crater back there. You can't be gone...I swear I'm going to strap my beautiful mind brother and myself in the car and I'm going to drive myself off the pier. You asked me how I was doing? Well not good...and you said you would be here...where are you?"

Dean hung up controlling tears, he felt sick.

_**Two days later...**_

Dean laid on the couch with his leg cast feeling dozy and disgusted.

They were all at the cabin now, and he found out he would have to be like this for over a month. Pumped full of pain killers, he laid back feeling useless and angry.

Lucy sat beside him on a stool, looking worried.

"You okay?"

Dean felt in and out of it and kept passing out from the pain killers. Bobby had brought both Sam and him back to Lucy's after grabbing them from the hospital. The ambulance they used had been ditched and Dean could barley remember how they got there.

Since then everything had been a blur, the aching pain in his leg was gone. Instead he just laid there with his leg in that heavy awkward cast on him. Laying there, his green eyes darted around the room before he saw Sam sitting back in one of the chairs.

"Sammy?"

Sam got up slowly and walked over.

"Hey Dean, you okay?"

Dean made a face.

"Am I okay,?"

Bobby appeared drinking a beer, everything seemed a little fuzzy to Dean as he laid back.

Bobby smirked.

"Let him rest guys, he's out of it."

Lucy frowned.

"Should be move him to the bedroom?"

"Naw, let him rest here...I'll make sure he's self medicated, just keep an eye on him please."

Lucy nodded before looking up at Sam.

"You okay?"

Sam stared for a moment before nodding.

"Yeah I'm good."

Sighing Lucy looked back down at Dean before reaching over and gently touching his forehead. The feel of her felt comforting as he laid back and shut his eyes.

_**One month later...**_

Dean hated being stuck, but enjoyed the time he was spending with Lucy..

Lately they had all been held up at the cabin, here he was trapped with this cast on his leg as he spent day after day on the couch, itching to finally be able to walk again. He knew he got off lucky, but had been worried and hated feeling so trapped while so much was going on. Another thing he hated was feeling like he couldn't help Sam or protect Lucy.

Yet, he had been the happiest he had been in a while.

He spent all day on the couch, passing the time watching the one channel that came on the old TV in the living room. Bobby, Dean, and Lucy had been following some Spanish soap opera. Of course none of them could understand what was going on, but somehow was able to follow the storyline which came on every morning.

Besides that Dean would lay back trying anything to pass the time. Lucy often curled up on the other end of the couch and would read to him. Lucy had always loved to read and had found some old paperbacks in the basement. They were mostly Westerns, and crime novels, one Romance that Lucy laughed through reading. Night after night she would sit down and just read to him. This usually made him drift off to sleep.

Some days they would do puzzles together, cross words, or she would read car magazines she would pick up whenever Bobby or Sam took her into town. She helped him to the bathroom, even though he insisted he was fine on crutches. She made sure he was always in fresh clothes, and even helped shave him.

"Of course, your the one pregnant and I'm the one being babied."

Dean would joke as Lucy laughed.

They would just mostly sit back, talking and trying anything to keep their minds off what was really happening.

Most times Sam or Bobby was there so privacy was sorta hard to come from. Dean honestly really wanted to talk to her. Ever since this business with Sam, he was beyond worried and wanted to hear Lucy's thoughts on this. He couldn't understand it. Sure he carried stuff from his time down there, and he knew what had happened to Sam was ten times worse, but the way he had been freaking out scared him.

Instead he just laid there day after day with his wife.

This afternoon Bobby was out doing research and Sam spent most of the morning on his lap top in the kitchen, not saying much.

Lucy had her blouse up a little bit showing her stomach which was now beginning to take a rounder look which now was starting to stand out of her thin frame. Dean had both hands on her stomach and was laughing.

"Feel that?"

Dean felt tiny pressure flutter underneath her skin against his palms. His eyes lighting up, he grinned looking up at her.

"Is that what I think it is?"

Lucy smiled.

"Yep, he's supposed to be kicking more now...I guess the kicks get harder in another month or so."

Dean laughed feeling it, completely amazed.

"Hey kiddo...you know your daddy is here?"

Dean asked at her stomach. Feeling more of a flutter, Dean laughed.

_**Later... **_

Sam had ran off to get some food. Lucy had offered to go with, Dean sensed she was getting stir crazy but Sam said he was fine and the driving might do him good. Lately whenever one of him went into town, Sam was never left alone. Lucy knew Dean had been worried, but lately he was trying to give his brother a chance to trust him and see if he could stay stable enough while they were trying to figure out what to do with this newest batch of monsters.

Dean's leg had been getting better, the doctor who Bobby knew, a friend of Dr. Roberts came twice to look him over. He was a middle aged man who Bobby could trust and had dealt with hunters before. He said within a week Dean's leg could come out of the cast.

Until then he had to stay put.

He had also looked Lucy over quickly. She would of course have to go into town for a better check up, but after giving her the once over, the doctor settled Dean's nerves saying she seemed in perfect health and so didn't the baby.

Just yesterday Lucy did target shooting with Sam and Bobby outside while Dean rested. Lucy later had made a home made pie, in which Dean had polished off before night fall. That night as he laid back, watching Lucy across the room playing cards with Sam and laughing...

He knew how much he was truly willing to quit the life as soon as the baby came.

He liked this cabin, liked it a whole lot. He could see himself getting a job in town. Maybe at the local garage. He saw himself fixing up the cabin a little more for them, living together, raising their baby.

John...John Jr. Winchester.

He smirked.

His son.

He was going to give him everything he never had.

This morning, he had felt his baby kicking for the first real time and the reality that the baby was coming and becoming more and more real. Within a few months he would be a father. His second chance finally here.

He wondered what the baby would look like. He wondered if he would make a good father, and most of all he wondered if he could keep them safe.

Sam had been gone for about ten minutes now, Dean was laying on the couch and opened his eyes. Lucy was snuggled up beside him peacefully sleeping. E could tell she was worn out lately. She mostly spend her time alone here ever since he broke his leg, and he knew how badly she had wanted to help. He hated being stuck, but he did have to look at the bright side and see that they were together. He had really deep down inside enjoyed these last few weeks with her. He had been so scared he was going to miss more of her pregnancy, yet again...instead he was here with her, beginning to learn every little thing about her again. Noticing small little things. Such as the shape her stomach had taken on now. The feel of the baby kicking. How tired she had been., how cute she looked whenever she at beside him. How she would collapse onto the sofa against him, and how she really did indeed look as if she was glowing.

She was laying against him, sleeping and faintly breathing.

Smirking, Dean sat up and felt his leg underneath the cast itch. Rolling his eyes, he laid back sighing before he glanced down at Lucy and found himself unable to get upset. As much as he felt completely stuck, he was still with her.

Sliding his hand over to her stomach he felt little pressure flutter against his fingers. Smiling, he watched her in amazement before softly whispering...

"Hey kiddo..."

Lucy kept sleeping as he spoke down to her stomach.

"Sorry everything has been so crazy lately...I sure hope you've been taking care of your mamma. I'm sorry I haven't been here more often, but I promise I will be soon."

He felt the baby kick again, softly laughing he went on.

"I bet your going to be a little hellrasier, just like your old man huh?"

He smiled before leaning down and kissing her stomach.

"I love you baby..."

Unaware to him, Lucy was awake listening, Holding back from smiling as he continued to feel her stomach and talk to their unborn son.

_**Later...**_

"Dean..."

"Come on Lucy, just do it."

Dean had fallen asleep earlier with Lucy again and both had woken up to a note from Sam this morning. The night before they had dinner on the couch, and Dean ended up feeling tired from the pain pills and passed out beside her.

When they woke, Lucy found the note first and brought it over to him frowning. He noticed now whenever she was worried she would cradle her now perfectly round bump of a stomach and gently rub it.

He had just called Bobby and was planning on going after his brother. Lucy wasn't too sure about him breaking open his cast but he had insisted.

"Hold my leg still baby."

Lucy sighed, giving a very uneasy look before holding his leg down as he started up the power saw. Lucy turned away shutting her eyes as he began to cut through the plaster.

Afterwards he was a little stiff, but flexing his leg felt fine. He had been off it long enough and besides knowing it would be sore later, he knew he could hobble along to follow his brother. Taking a quick shower, he dressed and ran over to Lucy before kissing her.

"I'll call you later all right?"'

Lucy nodded and watched him leave. Moments later the sound of the Impala starting filled outside. Walking over to the window. Lucy drew back the curtains and watched him drive down the road before sighing.

A few days later Lucy received a call from Dean. Sam had been found and both were on the road to the newest problem that was happening. Bobby was back with her and down in the basement digging out some of the books and paperwork he had just gathered back.

Lucy had been sitting on the sofa, watching the same Spanish soap opera and curling her hair. She hated feeling so useless but knew she had promised Dean to stay put. Sitting there, she used the hot iron against her hair before her cell rang.

"Hello?"

"Hey Lucy doll..."

Lucy frowned, she had heard this tone in her husband's voice before.

"Hey...you okay? Where are you?"

"In the car, Sammy is checking us into a motel...thought I would give you a quick call."

"You okay?"

There was a pause that Lucy knew too well before finally she heard him sigh.

"Baby...I did something."

"What?"

"I...had to do something that I know was right, but I did it behind Sammy's back. I...know your the only person I could talk to and I don't know why...but it's been eating at me..."

"How bad Dean?"

"Bad, you know that thing I told you about yesterday, the reason why Sam left?"

"Yeah..."

"Well I found her."

Lucy put down the iron on the table and sat Indian style.

"You took care of it didn't you?"

"I...had to Lucy. She was going to kill again. I had to."

Lucy didn't say anything, instead she waited until he spoke again, with great effort.

"Her son walked in on me."

"Jesus..."

"I guess I started thinking on how I would feel if some monster came and killed one of us and our son walked in. Maybe it's guilt, I don't know..."

Lucy sighed, she knew she was his only comfort.

"Dean, if you had to do it you had to do it."

"What if Sam finds out?"

"Then he finds out. From what I've heard he hasn't been exactly honest about everything with you either. You had a purpose and now you just have to live with it."

Dean sighed on the other line for a moment.

"I guess your right Lucy doll...I guess it's just that kid's face looking at me."

"It's all right Dean..."

"Bobby with you?"

"Yeah he's downstairs."

"How you been feeling?"

"Tired and bored, but okay."

"Yeah well, I'll be with you as soon as I can. You just keep that kiddo cooking all right."

Lucy smirked brushing back her bangs.

"All right Dean, love you."

"Love you more Lucy doll, bye."

"Bye."

Shutting her phone, Lucy sat there for a second before rubbing her stomach. She was worried about Dean and had a very uneasy feeling that this fear deep down inside of him was driving him to do things like this.

_**Two weeks later...**_

Bobby, Lucy, Dean, and Sam had just finished watching the news report on latest in the leviathans' trouble. They had now taken on the form of Sam and Dean and were killing people left and right across America.

It seemed yet again that Sam and Dean Winchester were two of the most wanted men in the country.

Dean and Sam planned on finding them and taking them out. Bobby had left a name of a buddy of his for them, while Lucy felt her stomach turn at this half plan of theirs to find these two copy cats.

Down in the basement they had a leviathan chained up. A spell had been cast on him and for the past few days Bobby and Lucy had been trying everything to find something that could harm them. So far they turned up with nothing. Lucy knew Dean didn't like the idea of her helping Bobby out even though it was perfectly safe with the leviathan under the spell. Dean had warned her for what seemed like the 100th time that the spell wasn't going to last and not to stand too close to him.

Earlier the leviathan had looked Lucy up and down smiling as she stood back with her arms crossed.

"Lucy Winchester, back from the dead...bastard and all."

He stared her stomach. Lucy shot him a look before smirking.

"My baby isn't a bastard, me and Dean would have to not be married...and I know for a fact you've met my husband...you know the one who's going to end up killing you."

The leviathan threw back his head and laughed.

"Yeah sure..."

Just then Dean had came down with Sam, looking pissed and glaring at the leviathan.

"Shut the hell up."

The leviathan smirked.

"Just having a little chat with your bitch. Was about the break the news that baby she's carrying is going to die."

"Shut the hell up..."

Dean snapped as he hurried over. The leviathan went on.

"Instead of being born as a blood stain, he's going to come out a cold dead slug of flesh..."

"I SAID SHUT UP!"

Dean went to lunge at him before Sam stopped him. Shortly after the news of the copy cats came to them.

Now they were upstairs.

Dean and Sam planned on leaving that night. Bobby had returned downstairs to deal with the leviathan while Sam went to go quickly pack.

Dean walked over, gently holding her arm.

"You okay?"

Lucy turned.

"Just be careful, you two are going to have a lot of heat on you."

"We'll be fine, not like we haven't dealt with this before."

Lucy sighed.

"Yeah but this was before you faced something you couldn't kill."

"We'll be fine Lucy..."

Lucy faintly smiled.

"Well you better, I got something I wanted to show you."

Dean raised an eyebrow.

"What?"

Lucy motioned to the bedroom.

"Come on..."

Dean followed her before she went to her dresser and opened the top draw. After a second she pulled out a small photograph. Handing it over, Lucy smiled faintly.

"Went to the doctors a few days ago and got a better shot of your son."

Dean held the photo up and grinned. Despite everything that was going on, he felt the most overwhelming feeling of joy go through him.

It was a clearer ultrasound, in fact he could make out details much better. Raising his eyes he smiled at Lucy.

"Lucy, this is great...you should have waited for me."

"Oh it was nothing, just a check up...they took a look and printed this out for me. Thought you would like it."

Smiling Dean looked at the photo again, smiling ear to ear, looking extremely proud.

"That's my boy..."

Looking at her, he moved in closer, one hand still holding the photo, the other cupping her face and kissing her deeply. Inside the baby faintly kicked.

_**The next night**_

Lucy had gone to bed early after Bobby told her that maybe cutting the leviathan's head off might kill them. Lucy didn't exactly trust it but went to bed worrying about Dean.

Laying awake for a while, Lucy stared at the ceiling rubbing her stomach before finally sleep came over her. She slept through the sheriff visiting Bobby.

The next morning, Lucy came down the basement stairs to bring Bobby a coffee when she froze, nearly dropping the mug. The leviathan had taken on Bobby's look and now two of them laid before her eyes.

Bobby rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, I know..."

Lucy slowly handed him his coffee without keeping her eyes off the leviathan. She stared at it in stunned amazement.

Bobby's cell then rang, it was Dean and Sam.

A minute or so later Bobby held back the phone and frowned.

"Balls..."

"What?"

"The boys got nabbed."

Lucy did a double take.

"What?"

_**Later...**_

Bobby told Lucy everything was going to be all right. That he was sure the boys could get out of this jam and to relax and not do anything stupid just yet.

By then the sheriff had come over again. Bobby seemed half embarrassed but muttered that Lucy was Dean's wife before saying he needed to check something in the basement.

The sheriff was a lovely nice woman who shook Lucy's hand smiling.

"Jody..."

"Lucy."

"Hey, heard your pregnant...thought I could help out around the cabin a little bit. God knows how you've done it living with three other men."

Lucy smiled.

Jody puttered around cleaning and dusting, Lucy kept offering to help but Jody insisted that she just sit back and relax.

Jody was washing the floors as Lucy sat on the sofa polishing up a vase.

"How far along are you?"

"`23 weeks about..."

Lucy had to smirk at that before Jody smiled.

"Boy or girl?"

"Boy."

"Got a name picked out?'

"Yeah, John, after Dean's father."

Jody smiled before getting down on her hands and knees to scrub the floor.

An hour later they discovered how to kill the leviathans...or at least stop them for a while.

The next morning, Lucy found two voice mails from Dean on her phone. Sam and him were fine and heading back, then the next was briefly Dean saying Sam found out about Amy and he was upset.

Lucy could tell from he sound of his voice it was much more. After a moment of sighing, he said he was heading back.

Lucy was worried but hoped whatever was going on between the brothers, they could understand there were bigger things going on. She knew Dean had no right to kill Amy, but Sam had to see his side as well.

Jody had left yesterday and since then Bobby seemed in a much better mood. Not wanting to spoil it, she laid low and even said she would lay down for a nap before Dean got back. Lately it seemed as if all she wanted to do was sleep.

Laying on the full bed, she drew up the covers and settled down as the baby began to kick. Shutting her eyes she felt comforted. That morning she had awoke from a dream that she was all ready begnning to forget. Details of it fading away each hour.

She remembered Cas was there, and he was telling her something important.

Yet she couldn't remember.

Snapping out of that thought, she laid back feeling the baby shift even more. She knew if he was this active now, it was going to get much worse in the next few months.

By the time Dean arrived back, he found her sleeping peacefully.

He made sure not to make any noise as he set down his bag and slipped off his jacket. Walking over, he stood at the end of the bed frowning. He felt terrible about Sam, and honestly didn't know what was next for them.

Sighing, he rubbed his face knowing he would have to shave. Kicking his boots off, he slowly unbuttoned his shirt before zippering his jeans. Putting his clothes to the side, he slipped in underneath the covers, feeling Lucy's warmth before settling in beside her.

He felt exhausted.

Putting his arm around Lucy, he lifted some of her hair and softly kissed her ear. Sighing, he laid down, pressing himself against her and feeling himself go hard. For a moment he was tempted to wake her, but instead he smiled and listened to her breathing. Laying back, he snuggled in close before one hand slipped down against her stomach.

Feeling comforted, he fell asleep.


	28. Chapter 28

_**Castiel stood before the edge of the bed looking down at Dean with sad lonely eyes. Dean was laying in the bedroom, he had gotten back to the cabin yesterday and he had been exhausted. He remembered how badly his leg had been aching, and how the argument with Sam had been the only thing on his mind driving back. **_

_**Lucy of course had been here to welcome him.**_

_**Dean's eye lids fluttered open and he found Lucy sleeping peacefully curled up beside him. Taking a second, feeling half awake he blinked and looked up feeling eyes of him.**_

_**He froze.**_

_**His eyes widening he stared at Castiel in utter disbelief.**_

"_**Cas?"**_

Dean woke up.

Dean's heart was pounding deeply in his chest. Opening her large green eyes he found himself laying in the full sized bed with Lucy. It was early morning, and he was back at the cabin.

Dean glanced over and saw Lucy sleeping beside him.

A month had passed.

Dean and Sam had made up and decided to work together yet again just a few weeks ago in New York after working a job. Since then they had all been hiding out at the cabin, letting Bobby do research on any leads. Sam and Dean had been working a few local cases within the state but decided to keep a low profile for the time being.

Dean had parked the Impala beside the cabin, in which Bobby and himself set up a tarp canopy for the time being to somewhat protect it from the elements. It was killing him not to drive it, but he knew it was safer here. Lucy had driven it a few times, usually whenever she was heading into town. They had switched the plates and Dean couldn't help but smile whenever he saw her driving up the road in it. Seemed just like yesterday he was teaching her how to drive in it.

These past few weeks had been good ones, but one thing was bothering him...

The message from Ellen.

He wanted to make himself believe the guy who had grabbed him was just full of it, but he just couldn't seem to shake it. The man had spoken for Ellen, saying that she knew how bad it was, and if he didn't tell somebody soon it was going to get worse. That she knew how scared he was about Lucy and the baby, and how terrified he was that something was going to happen.

He hadn't told anyone this, not Lucy or Sam.

He kept trying not to think about it, but the truth was he was scared to death.

Rolling over Dean blinked and stared down at Lucy.

She was seven months pregnant now and he couldn't believe how different she looked. Her stomach was much render and larger now. It seemed almost comical sticking out of her thin little frame. Lately the extra weight had been dragging her down. She would waddle around, collapse, and pant for breath. She always complained how ugly she looked while Dean watched amused always telling her she was beautiful.

The doctors said everything looked fine with the baby, but Dean couldn't help but worry.

The evening before he had been driving back with Sam from a small job when the two of them turned off to fill up for gas. Sam noticed the flea market almost right away.

"Look dude..."

Sam pointed and Dean noticed in the field beside the gas station was a small flea market. Mostly made up of tables full of old junk nobody wanted. Sam had always been a sucker for these things, ever since he was a kid.

Dean shrugged after shutting the cap to the gas tank and slipped off his sunglasses. The two of them walked over, mostly holding back laughs at all the junk these people were trying to sell. Dean scolled through the tables before pausing.

A smile appeared on his face.

"Hey Sammy..."

Sam walked over, two paperback books in his hands before stopping and smiling.

It was a bassinet, looking very new and hand weaved. Dean picked it up, looking it over as an older woman sat behind the table and smiled.

"Made it myself, along with everything else. You got a little one sir?"

Dean smiled.

"On the way."

"Boy or girl?"

"Boy."

"Well aren't you lucky, I'm sure he'll be just as handsome as his daddy."

Dean felt color rise in his cheek as he smiled and looked it over once more.

"How much?"

Together Sam and Dean drove back with the bassinet in the trunk. Dean kept commenting on how stupid it was him picking it up, and that he hoped he could get Lucy settled someplace before it came even close to her due date, but all Sam could do was smile and say that he was sure Lucy would love it.

And she did.

Now it sat in the bedroom near the dresser. Dean eyed it and smiled. In less than two months his son would be laying in that.

He of course planned on making a whole nursery for him before he was even born. Giving him the best of the best. But deep down inside the idea of a nursery sorta made him sick.

His mother died in one.

Now waking up in the early morning light, he cleared his throat and glanced over at Lucy before smirking and sleeping out of bed.

Meanwhile Lucy slept...and dreamed.

_She was sitting outside, crisp fallen brown leafs scattered all over the ground. _

_She was sitting there enjoying the chilly air when suddenly she felt eyes on her. _

_Castiel stood there, hands in his trench coat pockets._

_Lucy raised an eyebrow before turning._

"_Cas?"_

_Cas looked down at her before stepping forward._

"_Lucy, I have something very important to tell you...please listen...listen carefully."_

Lucy moaned in her sleep, turning over as Dean stood in the doorway finishing up brushing his teeth. He watched her as she muttered something and turned over again, still fast asleep.

Smirking he wondered for a moment what she might be dreaming about.

Watching his wife with so much love pounding in his heart, he knew he would die before anything happened to her again.

That was a promise. 


	29. Chapter 29

_**2007**_

_Dean and Lucy stood side by side as the justice of the peace stood before them._

"_Your marriage this day begins a truer revelation of the depth and wonder of hope freely given, freely received and fully shared. This ceremony celebrates both the mystery and the power of your love for one another a love enduring and complete. The mystery of love is that this day your hearts become one in the sight of God."_

_Dean squeezed Lucy's hand and glanced at her, catching her eye and seeing her give him a soft smile that made his heart pound. For the first time this whole year, he wasn't thinking of the fact he was going to die and go to Hell. He wasn't scared, knowing his faith was coming true only within a few days. But at this exact moment none of this was happening. He was here with Lucy, and he knew for certain he loved her...besides his brother, she was the most important thing to him. There were a million reasons for him not to do this, mostly knowing he was going to leave her and that this was useless. But nevertheless, he loved Lucy with all his heart and now that death was coming for him, it seemed much more clearer to him._

_He remembered them sneaking off and doing this when they were just kids._

"_I now pronounce you husband and wife, you may now kiss the bride."_

_Dean smiled, turning and looking at Lucy. Both were in their regular clothes, jeans and T-shirts. Lucy was wearing her boots and her bangs were fallen gently across her forehead. Leaning down, he gently cupped her face and brought his lips against hers. Both slowly opened and closed as Dean closed his eyes and tilted her head up. Breaking the kiss apart, Dean smiled, pressing his forehead against hers._

_He couldn't believe it...they were married._

_Squeezing her hands, he kissed her again and laughed._

"_Come on..."_

_That night they spent the evening parked outside, laying on the hood and looking at the stars._

_A few days late...Dean was dead._

_**Present**_

Dean finished showering and shaving and wrapped a towel around his waist before running his fingers through his still damp hair. Humming an old rock tune underneath his breath he went straight to the bedroom and paused in the doorway.

Lucy was awake.

As the further she came along in the pregnancy, Dean was starting to notice how she was sleeping in more often. Sometimes all the way until noon. Lucy usually wasn't a late sleeper, in fact even when they were younger she was always the first one up. Whenever he was on the road or on a job he would call her and ask how she was feeling. Lately her answer was simple...tired.

She said her last visit to the doctor, he explained it was normal to feel so run down. Now these past few days he had been staying at the cabin, he liked the fact she would stay asleep so long. Sometimes after getting up, he would fix her breakfast in bed and watch her sleeping sometimes without saying anything.

It somehow took his mind of things.

Lucy sat awake, just staring out the window. For a moment this struck Dean as odd since she wasn't moving or talking.

"Lucy?"

He stepped in, holding onto his towel before walking around the bed. Something about the look on Lucy's face gave him chills.

Her face was pale and beautiful from sleep. Circles were around her gray eyes as she simply stared off into space, a very calm and peaceful look in her.

"Lucy doll?"

Lucy said nothing, she just kept staring.

Dean's brow wrinkled as he snapped his fingers.

"Lucy?"

Lucy seemed to snap out of it and blinked before looking up at him.

"Sorry..."

She seemed half dazed before she shook her head.

"Whoa, sorry...half asleep here."

Dean looked her over closely.

"You okay? Seemed kinda out of it."

Lucy smirked before brushing some of her hair away.

"Yeah..."

"Were you dreaming?"

Lucy's eyes met Dean's for a second and it almost looked as if she was about to say something before her hand slid down to her stomach and she gently rubbed it. Instead she smiled softly and shook her head.

"No, just half asleep..."

Looking up at Dean she smirked.

"That towel looks heavy."

Laughing, Dean put his hands on his hips and let his towel drop.

Dean forgot about the way Lucy looked that morning, never questioning it any further.

A few weeks passed...

"You two boys got everything?"

Lucy asked from the sofa. She was reading one of Bobby's books on demons and was wearing black leggings and a forget green flowing shirt. Her stomach now looked like a perfectly shaped basketball and was beginning to weigh down her tiny frame. Lucy was now twenty-seven weeks pregnant and looked as if any second she was about to burst. Dean had been watching her in total amusement as she waddled around, complainant about being cooped up, and how bad her feet and back hurt. Everything so far seemed perfectly fine, but of course Dean couldn't help but worry.

The baby had been kicking a lot, so much he could sense it was hurting her. Bobby had insisted on her to take as much time as possible off her feet. Lately he had been sticking around the cabin doing his research, and keeping a close eye on her for Dean.

Now, Dean and Sam were up for their yearly Vegas trip. It was just a few days they would head over there and drink and try to unwind and escape all the madness. It was a short little break that was good for them and had become somewhat of a tradition for them for the last seven years.

It made them seem normal.

Dean knew this wasn't going to be like other years. He was married now with a baby and just planned on knocking back a few with his brother and try to finally put his mind at rest about him.

Dean and Sam were heading out. Earlier Dean seemed a little unsure about leaving but both Lucy and Bobby put their foot down. Both agreed Dean and Sam needed this time together. Both were shuffling to the door, each with their bags. Dean hoped Lucy and Bobby were right, that Sam and him needed this and after a few days of drinking and having a good time things would begin to blow over.

At least he hoped so.

Sam hadn't said much and was making his way to the door. Lucy was curled up on the couch, her book opened beside her. Smiling, Dean took a look at her before walking over.

"I'll call you when we get there."

Lucy smiled.

"Have a few for me."

"You sure you'll be okay?"

"Positron, now go on and have some fun."

Smiling, Dean leaned down, first kissing her stomach, then her lips before pressing his forehead against hers.

"See you in a few days."

Bobby was in the basement, and earlier had promised to keep an eye on Lucy while he was gone. Lucy made a face before Dean smiled and stood up. Walking out the door, he couldn't help but look back once more and wink at her. He knew he needed this trip with Sam, but the thought of leaving Lucy for even a couple of days was beginning to worry him.

_**Later...**_

"You okay hon?"

Lucy looked up from the sofa. She had been finishing up her book and had dozed off. Bobby stood there with a can of beer.

"Um..."

Lucy rubbed her eyes before reaching over for her cell phone. She saw it was late afternoon and that Dean had called her twice all ready.

"Oh Jesus..."

Lucy squinted, still half awake. Bobby smirked.

"I called Dean and said you were napping. That boy is a walking bundle of nerves."

Slowly shifting herself to sit up, Lucy winced in the throbbing pain in her back before getting comfortable. Waving her hand she put her book down before gabbing her cell and began texting Dean.

"Did Sam and him make it?"

"Yeah, I guess Sam is hiking out to the desert, Dean isn't too happy but he's at the local bar...talking these poor bartenders off about you and the baby coming."

Lucy laughed.

"I'm sure he'll get a lot of numbers that way."

Bobby laughed before turning and heading back down to the basement. Lucy finished texting Dean before laying back down and rubbing her stomach.

Tilting her head back she sighed as she thought of her dream.

"Please God...please God let me have made the right choice...please..."

She whispered under her breath.

Inside her son kicked and moved making her shut her eyes.

Seconds later, her phone went off. Reaching over she answered it.

"Hello?"

"Lucy, you're not going to frigging believe it, Sam got married."

Lucy sat up, feeling ten times more awake.

"Wait...what?"

_**One week later...**_

Dean squatted in his jeans outside of the cabin at the built in pool that had once been put in by Rufus when he planned on making this place is full time home when for a brief period of time he thought about giving up the life. It seemed very out of place in the middle of the woods. It was down the slight slope of the yard that the cabin was on and was beautiful. Now so many years unkempt and let to rot in the elements the water had turned an ugly green and thousands of twigs and leafs covered the surface.

Ivy had covered the cobble stone surrounding it and Dean had been taking a better look at the pool after fixing up the Impala a few days ago. Bobby claimed it was nearly ten feet deep and he wouldn't ever want to see what was on the bottom of it if it ever drained.

Snow was coming soon, and a frost was in the air. Dean touched the water briefly with his fingertips for a moment before standing up and shoving his hands in his pockets.

Walking up the slope, he found himself thinking about Cas.

He missed him.

Going around, he found the side door and walked inside. Bobby was out, but Sam and Lucy were playing cards in the kitchen. Lucy's stomach looked like a baseball under her sweater as she laughed with Sam and kept slapping her hands down on her cards. Pausing in the doorway, Dean smiled before going to grab a beer.

Just a few days ago Sam and himself were working a small gig with a shape shifter five towns over. Bobby was tied up with a job of his own. The local police of course was giving them trouble, as they lately had always been doing. Both were being hassled at the station when Dean's eyes nearly fell out of his head.

Lucy walked in looking lovely in a pants suit. Her stomach showing underneath her blouse as she strolled in, her flats clicking against the floor.

"Hello, Nikki Brand, FBI."

The local chief sat up, a little taken back by Lucy just walking in before she flashed her badge and motioned to the free seat between Sam and Dean.

"Mind if I take a seat, carrying a little extra weight around with me."

Lucy sat down and within a few minuites she got both of them out of there. As the three of them walked back out, Dean noticed she had taken the Impala.

Sam seemed very impressed.

Dean finally stopped and held up his arms.

"Whoa, what the hell was that?"

Lucy smiled staring at him before getting into the Impala.

"Saving your ass. I may be pregnant Dean, but I'm not useless."

Watching her drive off in his car, Sam laughed and nudged Dean.

"Yep...that's your wife all right."

Dean couldn't help but smile.

_**Later that month...**_

Inside Lucy's womb, John Jr. Winchester slept. He was safe, developing, and almost ready to be born. He shifted around, his cord attached as his eyelids opened and closed. It was warm where he was, he could faintly hear his father's deep voice and he kicked.

Soon he would be born, and soon faith would be taking place.


	30. Chapter 30

Dean nervous bit his thumb nail pacing back and forth at Lucy laying on the old beaten up couch in the small abandoned building they were currently hiding out in. Lucy's pregnant stomach was now huge and terribly swollen. She was nine months now, and had just another week or so until her due date. She laid there looking uncomfortable before giving him a smile.

It broke his heart to see her like this, he hated that all of this was happening and that they were forced to leave the cabin for the time being. He knew it was too dangerous to leave her alone, but he was scared of making her leave like this and be in such conditions for how far along she was. Pregnant women were supposed to be on bed rest or relaxing, not having to worry about creatures trying to kill them, or hide out in freezing, dirty, hideouts all over the place.

He hated that she could go into labor any minute without a hospital or doctor around. That anything could happen to her or the baby.

At first he came up with at least a dozen safe places she could stay for the time being, but she put her foot down and that's where it stayed. She explained after everything, she felt like they shouldn't split up. On more than one account they had lost each other and had to suffer that time alone, lost in their grief. She explained she wasn't scared, she just felt safer with them. Both Bobby and Sam agreed this might better, in which Dean felt angry and ganged up on. He was just worrying about his wife, and now here it was again, faith just ripping apart any chance to feel normal.

He knew he would go insane if anything happened to her or their son.

"You okay?"

Lucy nodded before Dean swore under his breath and helped her cover herself with one of the sleeping bags they had brought. Taking his jacket off and laying that down as well.

"You cold?"

Lucy shook her head.

"No, I'm good..."

Dean sat on the edge of the couch, cupping his hands and blowing into them before rubbing her arms.

"Bullshit, it's freezing in here. Dammit, that's it I'm checking you into a motel come on..."

Lucy shook her head making a face.

"I'm fine really, besides we should sorta keep a low profile."

"Lucy, look at yourself...your pregnant..."

"And I'm fine..."

Most days Bobby would stay wherever they were with Lucy while Dean and Sam researched a few jobs in local areas. Bobby promised Dean for what seemed like the hundredth time that he would take Lucy to the hospital if there was any sign of something wrong. So far for the last few weeks as they moved around, Lucy seemed fine. Dean hated having to put her through this, most of all with the baby on the way. He was even more scared of protecting them once the baby came.

Lucy of course stayed calm, she knew he was nervous and kept telling him everyday that everything would be all right. She never complained, or said boo. Instead she stayed with Bobby helping him with the research.

Bobby claimed most days she would just sleep, he told Dean just a week ago jokingly that she seemed worn out by carrying the baby. Dean of course didn't find this funny and Sam saw right away he was on edge.

"How you feeling?"

Dean asked. Lucy shrugged.

"Tired, he's resting on my kidneys...kicking a storm."

Dean frowned before feeling her belly underneath the sleeping bag. Right away the baby started kicking and Dean smirked.

"That's my boy..."

Lucy smiled before Dean's eyes lifted and looked into hers.

"Listen, as soon as this baby was born I'm going to find someplace you can go. Someplace safe and nice for you and the baby. You shouldn't have to go through this, and neither should he..."

Dean looked at her stomach before Lucy sighed.

"Dean, this is our life, what's new about the world falling apart around us?"

Lucy smirked before Dean sighed looking at her.

"I know, but with the baby now...I just...I don't want him to have to though what me and Sammy had to. I want him to be just a normal kid."

"Is that the truth?"

Dean nodded before Lucy smiled.

"He will, I promise."

"Then you promise me...as soon as he comes you'll go wherever I say?"

"With or without you?"

Dean sighed one last time, his eyes worried.

"Hopefully with me, soon enough..."

"I know, you have a job..."

"Yeah well I'm getting pretty sick of this job."

Lucy smiled before she reached up and cupped his face.

"We'll be okay, don't worry."

Dean looked down at her stomach again before rubbing it again. The baby kicked even harder underneath his hands.

"Don't you worry kiddo...you and your mommy will be safe. Daddy promises that."

"Dean?"

Dean looked up before turning slightly and kissing her hand that still held his face gently.

"I love you."

"I love you too."

Dean laid against her, knowing at this exact moment he would die for them. Lucy meanwhile laid back, rubbing Dean's back as he laid against her staring at the ceiling.

_**Two days later**_

Dean stood with Lucy outside of the small abandoned motel they were hiding out in and wrapped his arms around her. Bobby and Sam were waiting in the car.

They were all working a job together, and would be gone three days at most. Dean hadn't exactly been thrilled at the idea of leaving Lucy, but he knew they had no choice.

She promised to keep her cell phone on her and if there was anything wrong she would call. Dean was also leaving her two of his best guns, knowing very well she knew how to use them.

Dean kissed Lucy deeply before pressing his forehead against hers.

Smiling, Dean touched her stomach which looked like a perfectly round basketball underneath her coat.

"See you..."

Lucy smiled before kissing him once more before he turned to leave. He smiled at her, waved and claim-bed into the Impala.

As they drove off, Bobby and Sam both noticed how Dean kept looking in the rear view mirror, watching Lucy with a sad and scared look in his eyes.

_**A few days later...**_

"You think he's okay?

Sam asked sitting in the van with Bobby. Dean was passed out in the back after being drugged. Earlier Dean had rambled off how much he didn't care. How good he felt in a long time. How between Cas, the black goo, worrying about losing Lucy and the baby, he just didn't care.

Now he was fast asleep.

Sam asked Bobby honestly if he thought he was all right. Ever since Cas died, and he broke his head, he saw how on edge his brother was. How scared he was of losing Lucy again, and how he felt as brother was terrified of becoming their father to his own unborn son.

The next day Bobby asked about it.

Dean pretended nothing was wrong, just that he was all used up and done with it all.

Bobby snapped. He told him to quit it, to get his head back in the game. He was lucky for what he had and had to stop being like this.

"You tried to be a person with Lisa and Ben after Lucy...then you got her back and I know your scared for her and the baby, but guess what? This is the life she wants with you, and your acting like your all ready dead. Well listen up, your going to be a father soon and I've been in enough funerals all ready. I'll kill you if you die before me."

Bobby stared at Dean made a face.

"We should scrape up some money, get you a condo or something..."

_**Meanwhile...**_

Lucy stared at the bassinet and smiled. She had heard from Dean yesterday morning, explaining how odd this case was. Lucy could hear it in his voice something was bothering him. When she asked if he was all right he paused for a second before telling her he was just tired.

Today Lucy had felt odd.

She had woken up from a sound sleep to a voice calling her name.

It was a comforting sound, which made her slowly wake up, seeing the sunlight pour through the dirty windows.

She was wearing Dean's necklace, the same one Sam had given to her when Dean had lost all hope when she was gone. She wore it underneath her shirt and it laid against her skin. She was planning on giving it to Dean as soon as he got back.

Rubbing her stomach she stared out the window feeling peaceful when suddenly her eyes widened and she jumped.

"Ah!"

She scrambled to dig under her shirt where she yanked the necklace away, the metal was burning hot and sizzled against her fingers.

"What the hell?"

She asked ripping the thin rope that held it around her. Staring at it in utter disbelief she raised an eyebrow when...

"Ah!"

Lucy snapped her eyes shut holding herself, moments later once she felt well enough to hold onto something, she looked down at herself and gasped. Reaching into her pocket, she tried to take small breaths.

With a shaken hand she reached and grabbed her cell phone.

Her fingers fumbled and she missed twice.

Taking a second she held her cell in one hand before trying to stand up straight. A horrible wave of pain had just seized her body, like nothing she had ever felt before.

"Dammit..."

She mumbled, having no idea she was still holding Dean's necklace.

Again she tried to dial her husband's number.

Her water had just broke.


	31. Chapter 31

Lucy stumbled and nearly fell again.

Closing her eyes she breathed deeply trying to remain calm. She knew if she didn't breath she was going to pass out. Suddenly she wanted to slap herself for being so stupid. Why didn't she listen to Dean and just have him check her into a motel? Why did she let them leave her behind? Taking a second she gulped and stared down at the old dirty carpet. There was a rather large puddle now soaking there where she had been standing. She knew if her water broke it meant that the baby would be coming soon.

Lucy held her phone and began to dial again, she knew if worse came to worse she would dial 911 and pray some local clinic or hospital was somewhere around here.

Another cramp waved slowly over her before she held her phone with both shaking hands. Just then her phone began to vibrate. Blinking, Lucy felt relief sweep over her when she saw Dean's name appear on the screen. Smiling, she quickly opened it.

"Dean?"

"Lucy..."

Right away she heard something in Dean's voice. Something broken.

"Dean, what's wrong?"

"It's Bobby...it's bad..."

Lucy snapped her eyes shut as another horrible cramp went through her.

"Ah!"

Lucy held onto her cell phone as tight as she could as this one seemed to rip through her body. Moments later she heard Dean's voice, full of concern and panic.

"Lucy?"

Lucy waited for the cramp the pass but it didn't seem to want to let up. Struggling to keep standing, she pressed the phone against her ear.

"Dean...what about Bobby? What's wrong?"

"Lucy, what's the matter?"

Lucy felt her vision starting to blur, she knew she was going to faint very soon.

"Dean, the baby...it's coming..."

Biting down on her lower lip, hard enough to draw blood she held in her breath for a second before suddenly everything began to cloud over. Trying her hardest to keep standing, she felt tears roll down her face.

"Dean...help me."

She cried before another pain came, this time she fell, everything around her turning to darkness.

Dean meanwhile stood in the hospital so many miles away with his phone to his ear and his eyes wide.

"Lucy? Lucy? Lucy!"

The other line was dead.

Turning Dean saw Sam standing in the hallway. His face pale and worried. Hurrying over, Dean tried to remain calm, his cell phone still in his hand.

"Sam, Lucy just called...I think she's in trouble."

"What?"

"She's a half an hour away if I speed like hell."

"Is something there?"

"I don't think..."

"The baby? Call 911."

"No, in case it isn't that, listen I gotta go. Stay here and let me know if there's any change."

"Dean..."

"I gotta go Sammy, please?"

Dean stared at his brother with helpless eyes before Sam nodded.

"All right, keep your cell on."

Dean nodded before turning and hurrying down the hall.

_**Meanwhile...**_

Lucy laid on the cold floor staring up at the ceiling which was leaking. Her whole body was tense and her back was arched. Another horrible pain waved through her making her snap her eyes shut and cry.

All the meanwhile she held onto Dean's necklace.

"Lucy?"

Lucy opened her eyes as sweat poured down her face, she stared at at the figure who was kneeling beside her.

"He's coming..."

The figure she couldn't quite make out spoke in a calm and soothing voice.

Lucy tried to sit up but the pain was too much. Her insides felt as if they were being torn apart. Every part of her screamed as the cramps got more and more intense. Trying to pant for breath she felt something shift inside her large stomach, making her cry out.

She blinked again but her vision wouldn't clear.

The figure stared down at her.

"He's going to die...you know that right?"

"NO!"

Lucy cried feeling helpless and scared. The pain was getting worse and she knew she was going to faint again.

"Are you sure about your choice?"

"YES!"

Lucy cried, before her vision darkened and she passed out.

_**Meanwhile...**_

Dean gripped the wheel of the Impala. He was racing down the highway nearly getting himself killed. He was pushing the car as fast as it could go, and prayed no police were around.

His thoughts kept going back to Bobby.

He had to be okay, he had to...

Thinking of Lucy, he drove with his eyes glaring at the road ahead of him.

_**Fifteen minutes later...**_

Dean nearly burst through the door and stumbled inside. Freezing, he saw Lucy sprawled out on the ground. She wasn't moving, in fact...she wasn't breathing...

"LUCY!"

Dean screamed, falling to his knees. Reaching, he gathered her up and gave her a hard shake.

"LUCY!"

Still nothing. In a frenzy, he leaned down and listened for any breath for a heartbeat.

Nothing.

Feeling himself shake, he stared down at her so still.

"No..."

Lacing his hands together, he placed them over her chest just as he did the same day he got her back and began to pump hard and down.

"Lucy...come on...please baby...breath..."

He counted in his head, going up and down as hard as he could feeling his world falling apart.

Leaning down he pitched her nose shut and tilted her head up before breathing into her mouth. After a second he went back to giving her CPR.

Tears stung his eyes as he swore under his breath and kept pumping down on her chest.

"Please..."

Finally Lucy's eyes opened, she looked dazed and helpless.

"Dean?"

Dean grabbed onto Lucy.

"Come on baby, I'm taking you to a hospital..."

He gathered her up, trying to sit and stand. Lucy gripped onto Dean and cried out making him freeze.

"Ah!"

"What is it? The baby?"

"My...water broke...he's coming...ah!"

Lucy gripped onto Dean's shirt before he lifted her up to stand.

"Come on..."

Helping her, he noticed she was clutching onto something in her left hand but didn't have time to fully see what it was. Helping her outside, he wrapped his arm around her and tried to hurry them to the car.

"Ah!"

Lucy bent down, crying out as Dean stared at her helpless and scared.

"What is it baby?"

Lucy stared at him, her face drawn from pain before he half dragged her to the Impala. Opening up the door he pushed back the seat so she could get in the back.

"He's coming, oh God...he's coming now!"

Dean slid into the backseat with her, not even bothering to shut the door.

"No, just hold on baby and I'll get us to a hospital real quick okay?"

Lucy shook her head sliding up and laying across the back seat.

"Dean..."

Lucy panted before looking at him.

"He's...coming...now..."

Snapping her eyes shut Lucy screamed. Dean sat near her legs never feeling so scared in his entire life.

"No, come on Lucy doll...just wait okay?"

Lucy screamed again making Dean jump. Looking at him, sweat rolling down her face she tried her hardest to breath.

"He's coming Dean...please help me..."

Dean sat there trying to get control. So much was happening so fast. Looking at her he reached over and squeezed her hand.

"Okay baby...okay...just listen to me and we're going to be okay. I promise."


	32. Chapter 32

Lucy laid across the backseat of the Impala. Her legs brought up to her chest as she sat back trying to breath. Her legs were spread and Dean sat between them looking terrified. Lucy's slacks were off and there was blood. Dean wanted so badly just to call an ambulance or take her to the hospital but he saw that the baby was coming quickly and there wasn't any time. Sitting there, watching his Lucy scream with all her might in pain he had fathered inside of her, he hated himself.

He remembered her when she was just a little girl, standing there in her dirty cowboy boots.

He thought of Bobby, and knew things had to be okay. He couldn't loose the little family he had left. Looking straight at Lucy he knew he had to be strong. The truth was he just wanted to run, he felt panic raising in his throat and no hunt before could compare to how helpless he felt. Looking at Lucy he squeezed her hand looking down.

"Okay...breath Lucy..."

"It...h-h-hurts!"

"I know, I know baby, just breath and look at my eyes. Look at my eyes Lucy...it's just you and me okay? Keep looking at my eyes."

Lucy stared at him, her face drawing in pain before she nodded quickly and leaned forward.

"Push Lucy, with all your might baby push!"

"I can't!"

"Come on Lucy doll, come on...ready? Keep looking at my eyes baby...PUSH!"

Lucy snapped her eyes shut and screamed as she pushed with all her might. Dean stared down and couldn't believe what he was seeing. Feeling his heart race, he watched in total awe before nodding, sweat rolling down his face, his eyes wide and nervous.

"Good! Keep pushing baby!"

Lucy took a second, her chest heaving before she nodded and sat up straight again. Right away her face flushed as she shut her eyes and bore down, pushing with all her might.

Dean looked down at her before smiling.

"Good, he's coming...I see him, push again, real hard okay? Push!"

Lucy took deep breaths before leaning forward and pushing again. Squeezing Dean's hand, she cried out loudly before tears rolled down her face. Dean looked down and reached as more blood came.

"Come on baby, push again!"

Lucy opened her eyes finally and stared at Dean. Remembering how much they had gone through and how this baby had survived it all with her. Looking straight into her husband's eyes, she pushed with all her might. The pain ripping through her as she screamed and felt the life Dean had put into her finally release after all this time. The baby slid out of her as she cried out. Dean took it, lifting it as the infant began to cry out loudly. Lucy felt a wave of gray nearly blind her vision before she sat back, her hair plastered to her forehead as she stared at her son.

The baby cried out loudly, kicking it's feet as Dean held him and stared down in utter disbelief. The baby was a large size, at least ten pounds and completely healthy looking. His feet kicked and his hands made tiny little fists as Dean laughed.

"Oh my God..."

Holding the baby close to him, tears of joy filled his wide eyes as he laughed at Lucy who sat back exhausted and smiled.

Dean carefully held the baby against his chest while using his free hand to bunch up his T-shirt and gently wipe the baby's face. Smiling, he stared down before laughing again.

"Jesus..."

Looking at Lucy with a big smile he slowly handed the baby over. Lucy held him before laughing and looking down. The baby cried, kicking away. Dean with shaken hands got his pocket knife out of his jeans and cut the cord. Shrugging off his jacket, he leaned over and wrapped the baby with it.

Lucy stared down at him before smiling, tears showing in her eyes.

"Hi there..."

The baby stopped crying at once and just stared back at her. Laughing through tears, Lucy looked up at Dean.

"Look what we made."

Dean laughed before kissing Lucy's forehead gently and looking down at his son.

John...

John Jr. Winchester.

He was perfect and at that exact moment Dean knew he would die for his son. That this was the most important thing in the world, this result of him and Lucy. He now understood why his father acted the way he did, and the sudden underwhelming feeling of love hit him so fast he couldn't stop looking at the baby, almost in a trance.

Lucy held her baby close to her, feeling drained and exhausted. She had lost a lot of blood and her color was a pale grayish color. Her lips had taken on a purplish color as she tried to stay conscience. The baby was perfect, and stared up at her. Looking down she knew exactly what would have happened if she hadn't of made her choice.

She knew that her baby...her son would have been stillborn.

Looking up at her husband...her Dean, Lucy's heart broke knowing she had to do this. Believing in what she was doing, she only prayed that Dean would do the right thing and be strong.

She felt half there.

"Dean...promise me you'll make sure he's safe...okay?"

Dean looked at her puzzled before Lucy weakly smiled and handed the baby carefully into Dean's arms. Dean looked confused, his sleeves rolled up and his hands bloody. The baby wiggled in his arms, before Dean stared at her.

"Lucy doll?"

Lucy weakly smiled before Dean used his free hand and slip out his cell phone. Quickly he tried to dial, but he wasn't getting a signal.

Swearing under his breath he tried again.

"Don't worry Lucy, I'm calling 911..."

Nothing, not even a dial tone.

He tried again.

Still nothing.

"Damnit..."

He swore before trying Sam. Nothing still, throwing down his phone he held the baby close before looking at Lucy.

"Don't worry baby..."

Lucy knew it wasn't time just yet. That comforting voice would come to her when it was. Until then she just wanted to enjoy the time she did have with her husband and her newborn son.


	33. Chapter 33

_But none of those things happened..._

The hiding out, the going into labor at the empty motel in the middle of nowhere, giving birth in the back of the Impala, and seeing her baby in Dean's arms all flashed before her eyes in just a matter of seconds.

She was three weeks before her due date, and here she was standing outside a car Dean had stolen to drive her here.

They were right outside of Dr. Robert's building.

"Lucy?"

Lucy blinked, almost in a daze.

Dean raised an eyebrow.

"Lucy?"

Lucy came back from whatever daze she had been in and nearly did a double take as she blinked and looked down at her very pregnant stomach.

Her son was still inside her.

She knew what this had been, a glimmer of a show of what would happen if she hadn't made her choice in time.

She would have been laying there, slowly bleeding to death in the back of the Impala. Dean would be holding the baby, waiting for the ambulance. She would keep saying, that she was ready...

Then the baby would stop crying.

Dean would look down, panic in his eyes before asking what was wrong? By then she would have been too weak to even sit up. She was loosing too much blood. She would notice how the color in their son, who just moments ago appeared so alive and healthy. His body pink as he kicked and cried with all his might.

He would now be still, his color fading fast.

Dean would know something was wrong, he would hold the baby and begin trying to get him to wake up.

Lucy would try to say something before she took her last breath and die right there in the back seat. Dean would notice, and begin to scream, holding their dead son and shaking her.

She could faintly hear his screams, before everything faded to darkness.

Now here she was.

She knew she had to make her choice before it was too late.

She needed her son to live.

She made her deal, with no regret to this voice that kept coming to her in her dreams. She knew this was the only way to save him, and she didn't want Dean to have to be there when it happened.

She had made up an excuse of wanting to stay with Dr. Robert until she delivered. Dean was relieved when she finally gave in, after putting up with staying in theses wrecks ever Bobby's place was burnt down. Sam and Bobby agreed it would be safer that way.

Dean had driven her down, promising that no matter what they would be back before the baby came.

Dr. Robert had been beyond kind and was going to keep an eye on her, making sure she was safe. She was now out on the sidewalk with Dean seeing him off.

"Lucy?"

Dean walked closer to her, slipping his arms around her.

"You okay?"

Lucy smiled softly and nodded.

"Yeah, be careful okay?"

Dean smirked looking down in her eyes.

"I'll try...I gotta be here when our boy has his first birthday..."

Dean looked down at Lucy's stomach with so much overwhelming love, Lucy knew her choice was the right one.

"I love you Dean..."

Dean smiled and softly kissed her lips.

"I love you too Lucy doll..."

They kissed, and finally he climbed into the car. Lucy stood there and watched him disappear into the night before a silent tear rolled down her face as she watched him go.

Shutting her eyes, Lucy took a second before nodding to herself. Gently rubbing her stomach she turned and went back into the apartment building.

_**One week later...**_

Bobby had been shot, he was in the hospital and it wasn't looking good.

Dean had called Lucy several times since he left, checking in on her. This morning, he called her feeling his own voice break up as he told her exactly what happened.

Lucy's voice stayed calm on the other end which surprised Dean. She asked if he needed her to go there and Dean shook his head. He had needed to talk to her so badly after the last eight hours. Sam was just as beside himself than Dean. Both were trying to figure out exactly what to do.

"No, you shouldn't be going anywhere right now. I didn't mean to stress you out Lucy, but...I'm scared."

Lucy's voice stayed calm on the other end. Dean knew well enough she loved Bobby like a father. She explained to him that even though it sounded bad, she had some weird feeling Bobby was going to pull out of this. He had always before...

"_Yeah but he's never been shot in the head before..."_

Dean thought but he didn't want to worry her anymore.

"Listen, whatever happens babe, I'm coning on down in the next few days, even if there isn't a chance. I need to see you."

He asked how she was and she said fine. Tired, but fine. Dr. Robert had been looking after her just fine. He said everything seemed okay and that any day she could go into labor.

Most nights Lucy said in the tiny spare bedroom tossing and turning. Her son kicking inside of her.

Her thoughts were of Dean...

Just then at the hospital, Sam came behind Dean saying the doctor wanted to talk to them. Dean nodded before sighing.

"Listen Lucy doll, I gotta go. The doctor wants to talk to me and Sammy. I'll call you later tonight?"

"Sure...talk to you later Dean."

"Love you Lucy doll..."

"Love you too Dean..."

Lucy held onto the phone, listening to him hang up before taking a deep breath. Tonight was the night.

An hour later she went into labor...

_**Forty minutes later...**_

Dean was looking in on Bobby with Sam. Both watched him as rain hit the window outside. It was a windy evening and just a half an hour ago it had started to pour.

Just then Dean's cell went off. Reaching into his pocket, he flipped it open.

"Hello?"

There was a pause before finally he heard Dr. Robert's voice.

"Dean?"

Dean stood there for a second, his brow wrinkling.

"Dr. Robert?"

Sam glanced over.

Dean felt panic leap into his throat.

"Dr. Robert? Everything okay?" 

"Dean, I had to call you...I'm afraid I have some terrible news..."

Dr. Robert's voice sounded broken up. Right away Dean's eyes widened.

"Where's Lucy?"

"Dean...Lucy went into labor. You have a beautiful healthy son Dean. He was born just fifteen minutes ago."

Dean was speechless.

"A son?"

A smile appeared on his stunned face, he was just about to ask how Lucy was doing when Dr. Robert spoke.

"There was some compilations, and...Lucy died a few minutes later. She was internally bleeding. I called the paramedics and we worked on her as long as we could. The baby is fine and healthy but I'm so sorry Dean, we tried everything we could..."

The smile faded on Dean's face.

"What?"

At that exactly moment, the two paramedics were slowly taking the stretcher that held Lucy's body down to the street below to the ambulance.

Lucy's body was in the body-bag.

A third paramedic were following. John Jr, crying thinly and wrapped up, being brought to the hospital was well.

He was alive...

They began heading down to the ambulance when a light appeared.

A blinding light.

Everyone shielded their eyes before the paramedics dropped the sketcher which held Lucy's body.

The light got brighter and brighter before suddenly everything went still.

A few car alarms were going off, and the paramedics all laid in the street. No memory of what had happened or why they were there.

John Jr laid bundled up, crying even louder into the night air. At that exactly moment Lucy's body slowly lifted out of the body bag. The zipper slowly going down. Lucy's arms pushed forward before very slowly almost in a trace stood up.

She was dressed in an old vintage brown and black sundress. Her hair was up, but pale. The blood that had been dripping down her legs was no gone. Instead her face was pale and stone yet. Still so beautiful and fair.

But something was different.

Her eyes were now blue.

Slowly in bare feet, she stepped past the paramedics and leaned down picking the baby up.

She cocked her head to the side, as the baby wiggled in her arms crying.

Just then Dr. Robert burst through the front door of the building. He was gasping for breath and stared at the scene in the empty street with wide eyes.

He had seen the light outside and raced out to see what had happened.

He stood there with disbelief showing in his eyes. He had watched Lucy die on his table upstairs. He had been there as she fought through the very tough delivery. He had seen her flat line and had worked on her himself after calling it quits.

Now here she stood.

"Lucy?"

He called.

Lucy turned, the baby still in her arms.

"My name is not Lucy...I am Castiel."


	34. Chapter 34

Dean stood in the middle of the street when suddenly all the car alarms went silent. The pavement was still wet from the rain and a stillness settled before finally the reality of what came out of Lucy hit him.

Castiel.

She had said she was Castiel.

He had driven like a madman, his mind completely blank. All within just a couple of hours the fear of loosing Bobby had scattered whatever stable beat Sam and himself had found this year. After so much had happened, after losing so much and gaining some back, they had tried so badly to keep this newest danger to harm anyone else they loved.

Now here it was.

Then that phone call from Dr. Robert. Within just a minute he was the happiest man on earth despite what terrible faith awaited the only man he looked up to and loved like his own father. Then just those few simple words broke all of that.

Lucy had died...

No, it couldn't be.

No, faith couldn't be that cruel. All the pain, emptiness, and loss he had suffered through in his thirty-two years on earth.

His mother, Sam, his father, going to hell, losing his friends, Lucy...

The pain of remembering that firefighter telling him just a few years ago about the explosion. Knowing Lucy was inside...knowing she was dead.

No, it couldn't be. He had been given a second chance again. Lucy had come back to him. She was going to have his baby. They were going to start a family through all this madness. No God couldn't have done that again to him. It couldn't be possible that with all these demons and monsters chasing after them, the way in the end he lost Lucy again was by his own doing. No, Lucy couldn't have died in childbirth, she was too strong.

He didn't even remember speeding over.

He wished for death now.

But here she stood, alive and holding their baby.

Yet he saw her eyes, her now blue eyes.

Castiel.

The name rang through his head before Dean felt darkness nearly cloud hid vision. For a moment he thought he was going to faint. The baby thinly cried before Dr. Robert's voice broke the silence.

"What the hell is this?"

Lucy glanced over totally calm as the baby cried in her hands. Dean ignored Dr. Robert as he took a step forward.

"Lucy...baby?"

Lucy cocked her head again.

"Dean...I am not Lucy."

Her voice sounded much more flat than before. Right away he heard Castiel's voice behind hers. This spent a shock through his body before Dean stared at her with pleading eyes.

"Cas?"

"Yes?"

Dean knew it...she wasn't lying. His wife wasn't there. Castiel had taken her over.

"Cas...where is my wife?"

Lucy frowned slightly, her eyebrow wrinkling, reminding him so much of Castiel.

"Dean...Lucy died in childbirth. He had given her the choice to be my vessel, or have your son die."

"What?"

"God knew I needed to return and help you with the war. Lucy was to die in time, she was brought back for this purpose. You nearly lost your son as well..."

Dean just stared.

"You mean...Lucy made a deal?"

"Yes."

"With who?"

"God."

Dean blinked and glared at her.

"What?"

"That's what the rumor is above. Heaven is crumbling and I needed to return. Lucy was supposed to die in the explosion but our father brought her back to make this choice. This was meant to be for your son to live on."

"She made a choice to be brought back so you could take her body over?"

"I needed a strong vessel, a pure soul of faith. Somebody who was part of this war. Lucy was meant to give birth to your son for it is written."

"Written! What by Chuck?"

Lucy slowly shook her head.

"No...our Lord. Lucy knew how important having your son was and knew her time was short. She made the choice and had her earthly body serve a higher purpose."

Dean just stared.

"You mean...you angel bastards forced my wife into a choice between her baby living and her body being used by you..."

"Dean, Lucy did not die in vain. Until I can restore my true self, I am safe here. There is work to be done."

"Your old self...Jimmy Novak? I was there Cas, that body blew up...there's nothing left. Why are you doing this?"

"Because the time has come to end this. This is the only way for your son to live on."

Dr. Robert stood speechless before Dean slowly walked over to Lucy. Staring at her he never believed the woman he loved he would stare at with such hate. Right away his face crumbled.

"Bring her back..."

Lucy slowly shook her head.

"I can't. She was meant to die no matter what. She wasn't supposed to make it through your son's birth. She made sure her second coming gave her the choice to gave her son...if not he would have died with her."

"Stop."

Dean said glaring at her. He didn't understand. He couldn't. He was staring at the love of his life. The woman he would have died for. The girl who he had all ready lost once. In her hands was their son, the baby he thought he had lost along with her so long ago. This was his family, his second chance. No, this couldn't be happening. Cas couldn't be in her...

"Cas, give me my son."

Dean said in a low voice. Cas nodded before slowly handing the baby over who cried out as Dean held him close to his jacket. He hadn't even glanced down at his son who he knew Lucy and himself had wanted so badly. The reality of him really being born hadn't hit him yet. All he knew was that he had been told Lucy was gone...now here she stood. He heard Cas inside her and was now learning that all of this had just been a trick on him. That he was unable to save his wife, and still the most important thing in his life was being pulled away from him.

Lucy stood there but he saw Cas in her and knew what he had done.

He held onto his baby tightly before his face crumbled and he swung out.

"You son of a bitch!"

He punched Lucy right in the face but like so many other times his fist felt as if it had hit a brick wall. His knuckles screamed as he stepped back and Lucy stared at him un phased and unharmed.

"Dean..."

"No..."

The baby began to cry loudly against Dean when Lucy stepped forward, cocking her head to the side.

"Your wife's sacrifice will not go unnoticed. She made this deal so I could help you."

Dean stepped forward, clutching is newborn son against him as Dr. Robert stood there watching is unfold in the deserted street.

"Cas? If it's really you...then make her come back...please..."

"I can not...my true vessel will return in time, but until then I needed a true self to return in. Please understand, Lucy was meant to die...she was unable to save."

Dean glared before he looked down at his son. Lucy took a step closer.

"Lucy served her purpose, she was brought back to give life to your son...she would have died no matter what Dean. God gave her a choice and she took it. I'm sorry it had to come to this but until my true vessel is restored, she is the only one with enough faith to hold me."

"So you'll use her like a fucking puppet and then throw her away like trash!"

"This..."

Lucy motioned to herself.

"Is just a body, it's not your wife...her soul is safe in heaven."

"The same heaven that's falling apart..."

"She didn't want to die for nothing, but it was part of her destiny...I told you Dean, she was unable to save."

Dean felt tears of rage roll down his face as he stared at her. Stepping forward, Lucy stared at him before looking down at the baby.

"Make sure your son is protected Dean, Lucy would have wanted that. It's the whole reason she did this. I shall come to you in time..."

Leaning forward, Lucy stepped on her tip toes and kissed Dean's mouth.

_Darkness._

Dean opened his eyes.

The street was empty. No ambulance, no cars, no bodies...and no Lucy.

Dr. Robert slowly stumbled down the stairs.

"What in the Hell?"

Dean looked around, there was no sign of her anywhere. Dr. Robert hurried over before Dean stared down at the baby.

His son...

Looking up at the night sky Dean's face crumpled.

"Damn you Cas...bring her back you son of a bitch...please..."

Silence.

The baby began to thinly cry before Dean opened up his coat a little, wrapping the baby up. With a shaken hand he reached into his pocket and took his phone out. Fumbling, he dialed and waited as Dr. Robert stood beside him.

"Sam?"

Dean said in a choked broken voice.

_**Later...**_

Dr. Robert had handled the doctors as Dean nervously bit his thumb nail and watched as the nurse looked over the baby.

They were at the local hospital. Dr. Robert claimed that a woman had come into his office in labor and gave birth. A half an hour after the baby was delivered and Dr. Robert was about to call an ambulance when she took off.

He claimed the woman left a purse with no ID but an address book, the only number was Dean's, who was the father. Dean lied saying Lucy was his girlfriend and he had no idea where she could have gone. The investigation was brief before the nurses took the crying infant out of Dean's hands.

Dean watched as the baby was looked over.

Everything seemed fine, but they wanted to keep the baby over night. Dean used one of his fake claiming he was a police officer from New York visiting family. Dean watched as the baby was looked over before the nurse turned and gently smiled.

"He'll be fine, we'll put him in the nursery and you can fill out the paperwork to release him for tomorrow. I'm sorry about your girlfriend by the way..."

Dean sighed, crossing his arms he watched the baby squirm on the table before the nurse gently picked him up.

"You want to hold him?"

Dean stared at the baby and thought of what Lucy...or Cas...or whatever it was and what it had said.

"_You couldn't save her...she made her choice..."_

Snapping out of it Dean blinked and nodded.

"Um...yeah sure..."

The nurse smiled, gently picking up the baby wrapped up in a clean blue blanket.

"And you got a name for this little kiddo yet?"

Dean carefully held the baby who wiggled and cried out softly.

"Um...John..."

"That's a nice name...look your a natural."

Dean smirked before thinking of Lucy and feeling his heart drop. Looking down at the baby he couldn't believe he was finally here. Feeling his stomach twist, he slowly sat down on the edge of the hospital bed and sighed loudly.

"Hey baby..."

The baby settled down as Dean looked him over. Still smiling, the nurse walked over.

"This your first?"

"Hum?"

"Your first child?"

"Um, yeah...he's been a long time coming..."

"Well your very good with him, and I'm sure all this trouble will settle out. Want me to take him?"

Dean looked up.

"Mind giving me a little bit with him?"

The nurse smiled.

"Sure honey, I'll be right outside."

Dean watched as the nurse left before sighing again. Looking down at the baby Dean leaned down and gently kissed the baby's head.

"Lucy...if you can hear me, please tell me your not really dead. You..."

Dean struggled with tears.

"You...can't be gone, not after everything...we...we got our self's a little boy...he's perfect. Please tell me these frigging angels aren't using you...please..."

Silence.

Shaking his head, Dean looked at the baby before feeling a tear roll down his face. Just then he heard a voice.

"Dean?"

Looking up he saw Lucy...but now he knew it wasn't his wife. It was Cas.

Dean glared up.

"Cas."

"Hello Dean."

"Piss off!"

Dean snapped as the baby shifted in it's sleep before settling down again. Cas stepped forward, barefooted. Looking down at the baby. Dean right away glared and held the baby tight to him.

"Get he hell away from him!"

Cas looked up, blinking. Dean stared heartbroken into her hazel eyes. This was his wife...he couldn't believe it was Cas. The two stared at each other for what seemed like a lifetime before Dean sighed.

"Please...even if she was supposed to die, leave her body alone...I can't...I can't see her like this."

"All in good time Dean, my old vessel was destroyed."

"Yeah I was there."

"God is making sure I shall return to my true self."

"So my wife is paying for your mistakes."

"No, she's served her purpose...your son is alive. She agreed to help me so I can help you. She's safe Dean...this is what she wanted."

"I don't believe you..."

"How many times will it take for you to see she was unable to save? That faith wouldn't allow it. Your purpose is to help fight this war with your brother."

"Everyone Cas...everyone I've ever cared about has been taken from me. If you want me to help you and your freak army of angels then bring my wife back and fix Bobby..."

Cas reached out gently touching Dean's arm.

"I'm sorry Dean..."

Dean violently shrugged off her hand.

"Screw you..."

Sighing Cas stepped back.

"I'm sorry Dean...in time I hope you'll understand..."

Just then the baby began to cry, looking down Dean stared at his newborn son before looking back up.

Cas was gone.

Feeling his insides shake his cell rang. Using his free hand, he dug his cell out and answered it as the baby began to stir.

"Hello?"

"Dean?"

"Sam...listen..."

"Dean...Bobby...he's dead."

Dean sat there speechless holding his newborn son.


	35. Chapter 35

_**One week later**_

Sam and Dean sat in silence.

Bobby was dead.

Before he died Sam said he woke up for just a moment. He had written down a series of numbers on Sam's hand before peacefully dying. Sam said these numbers didn't make any sense and couldn't figure out so far what they meant. At the moment they were back at the cabin holding up and keeping a low profile, stunned in their own grief.

In just a day they had lost both Lucy and Bobby.

Lucy, or Cas...whatever it was now hadn't appeared since. Dean begged, shouted, screamed, and cried for it to appear again to bring Bobby back but nothing happened. After he told Sam what happened, he just sat there stunned.

"Maybe Cas was right..."

"What?"

Dean asked. He had been in a horrible mood this past week, barley sleeping and staying with the baby at all times. He was drinking too much, but it somehow didn't affect his ability to take care of his son. As soon as the hospital released the baby, Dean wanted to join his brother as quickly as possible. Dr. Robert tried to talk to him, try to make sense out of what happened but Dean didn't want to hear it. Before leaving he did ask one thing.

He asked if Lucy did in fact die giving birth?

Dr. Robert nodded, he claimed he tried everything he could but by the time the ambulance arrived she was gone. At the moment all the paramedics hadn't come forward nor had any memory of what happened. Dr. Robert said she had in fact died right after the baby was born, he was certain.

So Dean brought his newborn son to learn Bobby was gone. Sam stared at the baby in awe and couldn't believe that Lucy was really dead. He kept questioning it, not being able to believe it. Finally Dean told him to just stop. Sam saw that look before in his brother's eyes and simply left him alone while he took care of everything at the hospital. With a heavy heart the two of them and the baby left and drove off uncertain about the future.

Dean had the bassinet they had bought and the baby laid in it. Driving back they stopped at a few places and picked up as much stuff for the baby they could. Both seemed lost and Dean didn't talk much. Instead he just held the baby, trying to sooth it. Once they got back they simply sat there in silence.

Finally Sam brought up what had happened.

"Maybe Cas was right."

"What?"

"Maybe it's true. Maybe Lucy really wasn't supposed to live. I mean...what happened first with the store, then her coming back. There had to be a reason God or whoever brought her back...maybe it was really to have the baby. I mean Cas wouldn't lie to us..."

"Would he? He's done it before..."

"You saw the real him last time before he was destroyed...that wasn't him. Maybe Lucy knew she was gonna die and wanted to do some good..."

"He's the whole reason we're in this mess!"

"But he was your friend, I saw the look on your face after he went into the water. He didn't mean it..."

"Yeah well that doesn't give him any right to take over my wife's body..."

"He said he needed somebody strong, of good faith...if it would have been anybody wouldn't it be Lucy? She was the best of all of us. She came back to make amends with you Dean...I know you guys lost each other more times than you can count, but at least you got another chance. You had your time with her and look...you have a son..."

Sam motioned towards John who laid asleep in the bassinet beside Dean on the couch. Dean had bought some clothes and John now laid asleep in a small blue once piece and tiny little cap. Dean had just stocked a good fire for the fireplace and kept worrying it was too cold in there for him. Under a few blankets the baby slept as Dean kept a hand on the bassinet, gently rocking it. Sam saw circles under his brother's eyes. Signs of the last week of pure exhaustion, grief, and worry.

"Cas shouldn't have taken her body, I agree...but he needed to come back. If we ever needed his help, it's now. We're at a dead end. Bobby..."

Sam trailed off for a second before struggling with his words.

"Bobby is gone and we have no idea what to do. You have a son now Dean...we're over our heads and we're alone. If Cas said he's getting hid old body back, he will be...if it's God, or the angels, or whatever that gets it back then let it happen."

"And Lucy?"

Dean snapped, glaring at his brother. Sighing Sam sat back.

"We'll get it back and give her a proper burial that she deserved. I loved Lucy, and I'm sure she's in heaven..."

"Great, just great..."

"It's where she deserves to be, war or no war. Maybe she's with dad, or Bobby..."

Dean shook his head looking down at the Bobby as Sam went on.

"But I'm sure she's safe, and we need all the people on our side up above. I'm sure she would want you to keep fighting, and to keep John safe. If she let Cas use for body for the time being...then it's what had to happen. It isn't forever..."

"Yeah but her being gone is. Listen, Sam...you've lost people...you just lost Bobby. But the amount of times me and Lucy have lost each other it isn't even fair. We have a son now...I promised myself I was going to protect her. I can't do this...I can't believe she was meant to die and I couldn't save her..."

"I'm sorry Dean."

Sam and Dean froze, Cas appeared, trench coat and all standing beside the fireplace. It wasn't Lucy, it was the real Cas, just as he did months ago. He stood there, his calm blue eyes just staring. Sam's eyes widened in disbelief before Dean blinked and quickly stood up.

In Cas' arms was Lucy, dressed as she was the night she died. Laying limply in his arms, her face pale and peaceful, almost as if she was asleep. Hurrying over, Dean reached out for her, nearly stumbling.

"Lucy? Lucy doll?"

Cas handed her over to Dean.

"I'm sorry..."

He said in this thick low voice.

Dean took his wife's cold corpse and held her close before glaring up at Cas. Sam quickly stood up.

"Cas...Bobby gave us numbers..."

Cas shook his head.

"I don't know..."

Dean glared at him.

"What the hell do you mean you don't know?"

Cas stared down at Lucy.

"I can't stay long, they know I'm here..."

"Who?"

"All in good time, I shall return...I'm so sorry...please forgive me and understand."

With just a flutter of wings, he was gone. Both Sam and Dean stood there before Dean's face crumpled in rage.

"Son of a bitch!"

The baby began to loudly cry before Sam stared in total disbelief. Looking over at Lucy, his heart broke before Dean looked down. Lucy laid there, now dead in his arms. The same woman he loved more than anything.

Slowly Dean brought her to the table and laid her down carefree. Sam watched before Dean went over to the bassinet and picked up the baby. Sam watched as Dean walked over, and sat down beside Lucy who was laid out on the table. Trying to sooth the baby, Dean held him before looking at Lucy's pale face.

"Hey Lucy doll..."

Dean said in a soft voice. Sam watched in silence before Dean looked down at the baby who squirmed in his arms. Struggling with tears he sighed.

"I'm...sorry I let those bastards get to you...I promised I would have taken care of you and I didn't..."

Sam heard his brother's voice break up as Dean held the baby.

"This is our baby Lucy...isn't he perfect? Please Lucy, just open your eyes and look at him. Please..."

Dean sat there, silent tears rolling down his face as he held the baby before finally lowering his head and weeping. Sam almost walked over before deciding to let him be. After a moment Dean finally leaned over, using his free hand to brush back Lucy's bangs before gently kissing her face.

That afternoon Sam watched the baby and stood by the window as Dean dug Lucy's grave. He had offered to help but Dean simply said no, this was something he needed to do himself. Hours went by and finally Dean carried Lucy who was now wrapped up in a sheet and gently lowered her into the ground. Sam walked out, holding the baby as Dean filled the grave. His hands bleeding and dirty. Not saying a word, Sam simply held the baby as Dean looked up.

"I loved her Sammy...and I lost her twice. It wasn't that I was unable to save her...it's because I didn't deserve her. I don't deserve him either..."

"Dean..."

"No, it's true. I'm done Sammy...I'll never love anyone like I loved her. I was the one that got her into this, and I was the one who got her pregnant. She died because of me and I'll never forgive myself for that."

Sam didn't say anything else, instead he watched as Dean patted down the soil and stood there throwing down the shovel. For a second Sam saw Dean shove something in his pocket and suspected it was Lucy's wedding ring. Turning, he looked at Sam.

"Can I see him?"

"Yeah...sure..."

Sam slowly handed over the baby which Dean held close to his chest. Kissing the top of his head, he slowly went back into the cabin. Watching him, Sam sighed before looking down at the grave. He knew over time grass and moss would grow over it and nobody would ever know such a beautiful, amazing, kind woman rested here. Feeling his heart ache, he stared down at the ground before glancing up at the overcast sky.

"Help...please help..."

_**Later...**_

Dean had showered and now had redressed John and laid awake in bed with him. The baby had just ate and seemed fussy, thinly crying and wiggling against his arm in the darkness. Dean had no idea what he was doing, nor if he was doing it right. Laying there with the baby he felt his head throb.

Lucy was dead.

Glancing down at the baby he felt another tear roll down his face before he looked over.

Lucy laid there, peacefully smiling in the darkness staring at him. Their baby in between the two of them.

"Lucy?"

Dean asked.

Lucy simply smiled before looking down at the baby. Feeling the tears slip down his face, Dean struggled not to break down.

"I...don't know...what to do Lucy doll..."

Instead of answering, Lucy simply just gave him a sad small smile and kept staring at him.

Dean woke up, feeling the tears still rolling down his face. John was fast asleep against him, and the moon was still out. Feeling his heart ache in his chest, he laid there for a second before looking down at the baby. Feeling more over protective than ever, he laid closer to his son and promised Lucy under his breath he would make sure their baby was safe.

The next morning Sam worked on trying to figure out the numbers while Dean laid on the couch, John fast asleep on his chest. Gently rubbing his back, he wouldn't allow the grief of Lucy and Bobby overtake him. At the moment the most important thing was his son.

Thinking things out, he now knew how to make sure he was safe.


	36. Chapter 36

_**One month later...**_

Dean knelt in front of where he had buried Lucy. A little grass had grown there and the sky above was overcast. Staring at the ground, Dean felt a horrible aching go through his chest as he sighed and swept his fingers across the ground.

Sighing, he slowly stood up before staring down. Underneath a few feet of soil was his Lucy. His Lucy doll who he loved more than life itself. Laying underneath a cold blanket of dirt and darkness was the one woman he loved.

Sighing he stared at ground before shoving his hands in his pockets.

"John is getting big, he's a little son of a gun...I have no idea what I'm doing but if you can lend me a little help...I'll take it..."

Dean felt that dull ache in his chest again before quickly wiping his eyes. Turning, he began to walk towards the cabin.

_**Later...**_

"Come on buddy..."

John laid back in his bassinet and began crying loudly. His tiny fists bound up as he screamed at the top of his lungs. Wiggling back and forth, his face turned bright red. Sighing, Dean knelt down by the foot of the bed, trying his hardest to undress him.

"Come on..."

He mumbled, almost pleading to him. The baby continued to cry even louder before Dean lowered his head and sighed. He was exhausted and last night's drinks were pounding in his head. Sighing, he waited a second before taking down the rest of John's one piece. Scooping his up, he stood and began walking out towards the kitchen.

Sam sat on the couch, doing research.

Dean carried the baby over to the kitchen sink, before turning on the water. Plugging the drain, he waited, testing the water with his free hand. The baby continued crying loudly against him as he gently rubbed his bare back and tried his hardest to sooth him.

Sam glanced up.

"He okay?"

Dean shot him a rather annoyed looked.

"I don't know man, he's been fussy..."

Sam held up his hands in defense before looking back down at his books. Dean sighed before finally gently putting the baby into the luke warm water. John began to scream even louder as Dean sighed and gently cupped his hands, trying to wash him. Water splashing onto his jeans, he bent down, keeping the baby's head up before lowering his head, his shoulders shrugging, he shut his eyes as silent tears began to roll down his face.

"Hey...here..."

Dean opened his eyes embarrassed and quickly looked down sniffling as Sam stood beside him. Reaching down into the sink, Sam lifted John who had completely stiffened up and was screaming at the top of his lungs.

"Hand me a face cloth..."

Dean used his free hand to wipe his eyes before grabbing one that he had taken out earlier and handed it to Sam. By then the baby's screams had turned into tiny whimpers and hiccups. Staring at them with his big eyes, John seemed to almost relax at one and floated there while Sam held him above the water. Dean blinked his disbelief before making a face. The last couple of days just seemed to blur together.

His head and heart ached. All leads were turning into dead ones. Dick seemed like a lost cause, and Bobby and Lucy were dead.

Dean tried his hardest to escape with the drinking and turning away from Sam, but with each day it seemed to get worse and worse. He knew that they couldn't hide here forever, and he knew he that he was doing a terrible job with the baby. He didn't know anything about babies or being a father. Suddenly he felt as if knew what his father went through after their mother died. He was trying his best, but he couldn't help but feel that small ache inside of him that saw John with regret. He knew he shouldn't have gotten Lucy pregnant, that from the beginning he should have known this wasn't supposed to happen, that he wasn't meant to be a father. That getting her back the second time should have taught him that he had to protect her...

Instead he was now learning that no matter what, he would have lost her. That Cas somehow was telling the truth, that she helped in getting him back, and made sure their son could have been born. That no matter what he did, how many deals he tried, or how much he fought...she would have shortly died after John was born. That originally these demons tried to kill her in that explosion with their unborn child...but then the angels fought back...brought her back to him and gave him a second chance.

And he blew it.

Yes he was given more time, and the baby they seemed to have wanted so badly. But no matter what, his Lucy still would have died. Cas had tried to explain it was meant to be, but Dean just couldn't believe it. Yes, instead of loosing both of them, he now had their baby...but knowing he had something to do with him loosing her killed him.

Now his Lucy was really gone. No more tricks, no spells, no second chances.

She was dead, buried outside underneath a blanket of earth. Cas had taken over her body, but now disregarded her like a piece of trash. She had served her purpose, and now their baby was alive.

He wanted to believe she was someplace better, in fact he knew such a place existed. But knowing these angels were behind it, made him feel sick to his stomach. All he wanted was her, they had lost each other too many times and now she was gone for good. He was alone, loosing everyone all over again, feeling the worse he had ever felt in his whole life because for once he knew this was out of his control. His wife was dead...and he was alone with their newborn son.

He just wanted some answers. He wanted to know why after all of this he still lost Lucy. That Cas wouldn't explain anything, and now he was alone.

Suddenly the weight of everything seemed to pile onto his shoulders all at once. Standing by the counter, he stared down at the baby before he snapped his eyes shut and felt light headed. Sam, who was bathing John, glanced over.

"Dean?"

Dean steadied himself by holding onto the counter. Deeply sighing he looked over and blinked the tears away.

"Sorry...just really tired."

Sighing, Sam picked the baby up who thinly cried and wrapped him up in a towel. Turning, he looked at his brother and how how awful he truly looked. Dark circles were underneath his eyes, and it had been truly years since he had seen him like this.

"Why don't you go lay down...get some rest, you look awful."

Dean smirked before reaching out for the baby.

"Thanks..."

"No really, get some sleep. I'll take him."

"No, it's okay..."

"Dean..."

Dean looked his brother in the eye and for a second Sam thought he was going to break down. It had rarely happened in their life's. Usually Dean was the strong one who bottled things up. Sam knew this was a long time coming...mostly now with them loosing Bobby and Lucy. Things were different now...Dean was a father.

Dean took the baby who gurgled and stared up at him with his big hazel eyes.

Dean looked down and sighed before gently kissing the top of his head.

"I'm just a little tried...besides he makes me feel better. I'll go lay down with him for a while."

"You sure?"

"Yeah...thanks again Sam."

Sam smirked before nodding and reaching out, touching the baby's soft skin.

"Anytime..."

Dean carried John to the bedroom before laying him down with the towel. Grabbing a fresh one piece he had washed, he carefully dressed John who wiggled and cried. Feeling his head dully ache again, Dean scooped the baby up before drawing back the covers and crawling in. With John in the crook of his arm, Dean stared down at him.

"I sure wish I knew what I was doing..."

He mumbled to himself. John meanwhile had settled down and simply stared up at him. Dean stared down at him and felt awful. This wasn't the way it was supposed to be. This was the baby he had wanted so badly. The baby he was supposed to have with Lucy. Looking down at him the most overwhelming feeling of love filled him as he gently held him closer to him. At that exact moment he knew that no matter what happened, he would make sure his son was safe. If Lucy had died to make sure he was born into his world, he would die before letting anything happen to him.

This was his baby...part of him and part of Lucy.

But he knew as much as he was trying, and as much as he loved him...he wouldn't be able to keep him protected forever.

Smiling, he looked around the empty bedroom before nodding to himself.

"Okay Lucy...I think I know what to do now..."

Feeling exhausted, he stared down a his baby and thought of Adam his half brother. Remembering how horrible it felt letting something happen to him. Gently rubbing John's arm as he gurgled and wiggled beside him, Dean softly hummed under his breath to him, trying to get him to doze off.

"I sure wish kiddo things could have been different. Me and your mom...we sure as hell wanted you. Your mom went through a lot to make sure you got here and I promised I was gonna protect you. I wish things were different...I wish I could have done everything my father wanted for us...but that's part of being in this family. I promise though I'm going to make sure you never have to live this kind of life...okay?"

The baby had settled down and just stared up. Gently smiling, Dean leaned over and kissed the top of his head before shutting his eyes and listening to his son's soft breathing.

"I promise kiddo...I promise.

Tomorrow...tomorrow he would make a very important phone call.


	37. Chapter 37

"_Dean..."_

_Dean's wide hazel eyes opened and he found himself standing in front of the smoking ruins of what used to be Lucy's store in Chicago. The blackened remains of the chimney still stood, along with a few pieces of the foundation. The ashes were raked, and head still came off the lot. Dean stood there on the sidewalk and thunder sounded in the distance._

"_I'm so sorry..."_

_Dean turned and saw Adam, looking exactly as he did the last time he saw him. Dean's eyes widened as he stared at him in complete awe. Adam stared at the lot, his hands shoved in his pockets._

"_Adam?"_

_Adam continued to stare ahead._

"_Sad...a woman died in there. She was pregnant."_

_Dean stared at the lot before lighting flashed._

_**He then found himself outside the cabin at night. The moon was out and he was completely alone. Standing there, he looked down at the small mound of dirt that was Lucy's grave. Not too far away was the creature that had pretended to be her. Staring at her grave Dean looked around and felt his heart pound in his chest...**_

_**Then...**_

_**The dirt began to move, slowly it broke apart and a hand appeared. It's nails caked with dirt and scratched. Slowly another hand appeared, pulling at the earth and ripping it away. **_

_**That's when Lucy appeared. Her face filthy, and her eyes raw and red. Choker, she pulled herself free and pulled herself slowly out of her grave. Still in her sundress, she crawled out and knelt there in the hole that she had dug herself out of.**_

_**Looking up at him, tears rolled down and made tiny streaks down her dirty face.**_

"_**Dean!"**_

_**Dean's eyes widened before he reached down.**_

"_**Lucy!"**_

_**Right before their hands touched...**_

Dean woke with a start. John was laying beside him and crying. Blinking and feeling half awake, Dean found himself laying in bed inside the cabin. It was early morning, and he had slept for hours. Looking down, John cried, tears rolling down his tiny little face. Sitting up, Dean leaned down and picked John up. He was wet and Dean knew he was hungry. Not wanting to wake Sam, Dean held him in his arms.

"Shhh, it's okay...Daddy has you."

Dean stopped.

Smirking, he slowly got up and headed to the bathroom.

_**Later...**_

"Who's a good boy?"

Dean asked, leaning over the bassinet. It was still early and after changing and feeding John, Dean had carried him out to the kitchen. Gently rocking the side of the bassinet, he was making stupid faced and trying any attempt to make the baby laugh, which seemed to be working.

Dean was surprised he had done everything by himself in just an hour and hadn't felt like he was having a breakdown. Reaching into the bassinet, Dean scooped up John and gently kissed the top of his head.

Sitting there, Dean held his son before looking down at his wedding band. Just then Sam walked out of the bathroom, still drying his hair.

"Hey..."

Sam eyed the baby and smiled.

"Everything okay?"

Dean looked up before trying to smile.

"Yeah, listen I need to make a phone call...mind watching him?"

"Yeah sure..."

Walking over, Sam picked up the baby and gently rubbed his back. Dean smiled looking at him.

"Your a natural."

Sam rolled his eyes.

"Oh yeah..."

"Listen, I'll be just outside okay?"

"Yeah sure..."

Dean watched Sam walk over to the couch holding the baby before getting up and walking outside. Closing the door, he sat down on the front steps before looking out at Lucy's grave. It was nice outside, and a chill was still in the air. Sitting there he dug his cell phone out ad held it in his hand for a second.

Looking out at the grave he frowned before looking at his phone.

"Lucy...I'm trying to do the right thing. You made sure our baby could be born, and I'm making sure he's safe...I just wish I could talk to you for a second...know this is the right thing."

Sitting there he looked up at the clear blue sky before sighing.

"Yeah...thought so..."

Shaking his head he went to dial when a blue jay landed on the railing of the porch. Sitting there, he lifted his eyes slowly and stared at it.

_**1992**_

_Lucy sat Indian style on Bobby's front porch humming to herself. In her lap she was sewing. Dean meanwhile was sitting on the bottom step, pretending to clean one of his guns without making it too noticeable he was watching her. Ever since his dad dropped off him and Sam for the weekend, he couldn't help but feel these strange flutter in his stomach whenever he looked at Lucy._

_Today her hair was in pigtails and she was wearing those old dusty cowboy boots._

"_Hey...what are you making?"_

_Dean said, trying to sound casual. Lucy looked up and smiled and held it out._

"_Like it?"_

_Dean made a face._

"_What is it?"_

"_It's a doll silly, I'm patching together fabric...I've all ready made a couple...like it?"_

"_It's creepy."_

_Lucy laughed before sticking her tongue out at him._

"_Shut up, I like them...its fun."_

"_Well then, I guess I'll just start calling you doll then...Lucy doll."_

_Lucy giggled before Dean smiled and suddenly had the strongest urge to go up those couple of stairs and kiss her._

_Then..._

_A bird landed on the railing of the porch._

_Lucy froze and smiled._

"_Look..."_

_She said softly and pointed._

_Dean looked._

"_What is it?"_

"_It's a blue jay...isn't it beautiful?"_

_Dean looked at the bird and smirked._

"_Yeah...I guess."_

Dean stared at the bird for what seemed like a lifetime. Smiling, he softly laughed to himself before the bird fluttered its wings and flew off. Watching it, he smiled and looked over at Lucy's grave.

"Message read loud and clear Lucy doll..."

Flipping his cell open, he dialed and waited, finally there was an answer.

"Hello Lisa?"

_**Later... **_

Dean walked back into the cabin, it had nearly been a half an hour and he found Sam sitting on the couch with John, giving him his bottle. Smirking, Dean walked over and sat beside him.

"Can I take him?"

"Yeah sure..."

Carefully Dean took him and the bottle and fitted him into the crook of his arm. Looking down he smiled.

"Hey kiddo..."

John took the bottle, and stared at him with wide eyes. Smiling, Dean looked at Sam.

"Sam...I gotta talk to you."

"Yeah?"

"I just called Lisa up."

"Lisa...Lisa...Lisa? Like Ben and Lisa?"

"Yeah..."

"What for?"

"I've been thinking about it for a while...with everything going on and us loosing Bobby. We got a lot ahead of us and with Cas maybe around...things might get dangerous. I can't risk anything happening to John. I'm not good at this father stuff, I think I could be...and he was something me and Lucy wanted more than anything but...I gotta make sure he's safe. If anything happened to him after Lucy I wouldn't be able to deal...so I'm giving him up."

"Your what?"

"She's the only person I can trust...and I know she'll keep him safe. I need somebody who can keep him away from all of this. Lets face it Sam...with what might be about to happen, we might not be around that long...I wanna give John the life dad wanted for us. He deserves it...I can't bring him up like this. Lucy made sure he was born...and he's important...its breaking my heart to do this, but I have to."

"Dean there's other ways..."

"I'm going tomorrow, will you come with me?"

Sam sat there for a second before sighing and looking down at the baby.

"You sure?"

Sighing, Dean nodded.

"Yeah...I'm sure."

"Then I'll pack up the car..."

Sam slowly rose before looking down.

"Dean..."

Dean looked up at him before shaking his head.

"Its all good...okay?"

"Yeah..."

Dean looked down at the baby who stared up at him. Smiling, he sat back and kept thinking about what Lisa had said. She seemed stunned but very understanding. He knew it wasn't fair for him to ask her such a huge thing after everything that had happened between them, but it was true...she was really all that was left besides Sam.

For the rest of the day Dean sat with John. He fed him his bottle, and played with him before placing him back in his bassinet. Sam didn't talk much and Dean knew for maybe the first time in his life...he was making the right choice.

_**The next day...**_

Sam had driven for him and now the car was parked in front of Lisa's new home. It was in a nice neighborhood and Ben was at school. Lisa had answered the door looking gorgeous and beyond surprised. She hugged both of them tightly.

Dean held onto John tightly, he had dressed him and the baby looked wide eyed over his shoulder at everything. Lisa of course asked to see him and couldn't seem to get over how beautifier he was. She held him before Sam cleared his throat and excused himself.

Dean knew he was going to wait outside. Before leaving, he leaned over and gently rubbed John's back before smiling and thanking Lisa and leaving.

Now the two were left alone.

Lisa sat across from him as Dean held the baby. A silence washed over them before Lisa blinked and smiled.

"So...hows things?"

Dean sighed before forcing a small smile.

"Well...the usual."

"I...heard about Bobby, I'm really sorry."

Dean nodded before Lisa looked over at the baby.

"He really is beautiful Dean. I'm sorry about Lucy...when did she..."

"Afterwards I guess it finally hit me that she was unable to save, that no matter what would have happened she would have died after having him."

"Did she suffer?"

"I don't think so..."

"Dean...how bad are things?"

"Bad enough to make me want to do this. Trust me Lisa...I don't want to give him up...he's all I got left of Lucy...but I have to make sure he's safe. With Bobby gone...I don't think things are going to end well. Now I wouldn't have asked if I thought you and Ben were in danger..."

"No Dean, I'm glad you called. What we had was special but I knew you could never love me like you loved your wife. She seemed like a good person and if she went through all of this to make sure your son was born, then she would have wanted you to do this."

"I just..."

"No...its okay."

"This is probably going to be the last time I see you. I would love to see him grow up...but I don't think me and Sam are going to be around that long."

"Dean..."

"No really...I just want him to have a normal life. I have money for you..."

Lisa shook her head.

"No..."

"No Lisa, really...it's not much, but its everything I got."

Dean took out an envelope and tossed it on the coffee table.

"If I could trust anyone to take care of my little boy it would be you. Your a wonderful mother and I think you and Ben will be the family he needs."

Tears began to fill Lisa's eyes before she nodded.

"What...do you want me to tell him? The truth?"

Dean shook his head.

"No, nothing about any of that. If he somehow finds out when he's older then its out of his hands. But as far as he should know a hunter is somebody who gets animals in the woods. There is no such thing as monsters, demons, or anything else. He can grow up believing in whatever he wants but I don't want any of my life coming back to hurt him. You think Ben will follow along?"

"Of course..."

"I want him to have a normal life. You seem to have done amazing with Ben all by yourself and I know what I'm asking you is a lot, if there's even the smallest bit of doubt I'll find someone else, I don't want to make you and Ben do something you don't want to..."

Lisa shook her head sitting up.

"No, I want to, really Dean. I really thought I loved you when we were together, but I knew I couldn't compare to Lucy. Having a family...this was something you always wanted, and from what your telling me this baby is very special. After everything you've done to protect Ben and me...I would be honored."

Dean held his son before Lisa softly smiled.

"Anything else? Do you have a photo of you and Lucy you want me to give to him?"

Dean shook his head.

"I would but the less he knows about us the better, its safer that way. Just tell him...that his dad owned a garage and that he loved his mom very much. Say I couldn't hack it and was good friends with you and you offered to take him. Tell him I tried my best and last you heard I died a couple of years back..."

"Dean..."

"No I mean it. The less the better. Make up anything you want, but don't even give him my last name. Okay?"

"Dean, are you sure...I mean you could still be part of his life..."

Dean shook his head.

"No, even if I do stick around longer than expected...its better that I don't. It's just going to be hard on everyone. As long as he's healthy, happy, and safe...it's fine. I want him to have the life me and Sam could never have...okay?"

Lisa seemed to be tearing up but nodded.

"Okay."

"Tell him when he gets older to stick by Ben. He's a good kid and will look after him, their brothers in a way and that's important."

"Okay..."

"Sammy and me better get going before Ben gets back. Try to explain it to him the best you can?"

"Of course."

"Mind giving me a second?"

"Of course...I'll be on the back deck...okay?"

"Yeah sure..."

Lisa got up, sniffling and blinking the tears away when her and Dean locked eyes. Sadly smiling Dean looked up at her.

"Thanks Lisa...thanks for taking care of my little boy."

Lisa stared down at him and nodded.

"I love you Dean, and I'll love him...like he was my own."

Dean watched her leave and heard the back door shut before sitting there for a second and looking down at the baby. Sighing he gently placed him down beside him. John stared up, wiggled for a second and then appeared to smile up at him. Feeling the most awful ache in his chest, Dean blinked his tears away and stared down at his son.

"So I guess this is it huh?"

The baby laid there looking up at him. Gently, Dean leaned down and let John grasp hold of his finger with his tiny little hand. Sighing he looked him over.

"Your going to be happy here kiddo, Lisa and Ben are great. Their going to take care of you and make sure your safe. Your going to have a real nice life here. Be able to go to school, play sports, date some real pretty girls...go to college, and not do any of the reckless dumb ass things me and your uncle do. Your going to have a nice safe normal life...and I promise you your going to be happy. I really wish I didn't have to let you go...but its better this way. I got something to do and I need to finish it. I know you wouldn't understand, but I think your mom did. You were meant to be born, and I'm making damn sure your going to be okay. I wish I could be around to teach you how to walk, and talk...lean how to drive, give you advice on girls and music...watch you grow up...but..."

Dean rubbed his eyes for a second, this was harder than he thought.

"But...if what I think is right me and your momma will be watching you. I promise I'll look in from time to time and as far as I know...the good guys, or who I think are the good guys are on your side, and your daddy isn't going to let anything bad happen to you okay?"

The baby gurgled and stared up at him as Dean smiled through the tears.

"Sure wish I had more time with you but its better this way. Just remember...driver always picks the music. Drive American, always offer to buy the first beer on a date, don't ever be scared to stand up for what you think is right...and..."

Dean shut his eyes and sighed before looking down at him.

"And...remember that your daddy loves you."

Leaning down, Dean gently kissed John's soft smooth skin before wiping a tear away. Gently picking him up, he placed him in the bassinet and sighed. Picking it up, he went out back and walked out to Lisa who was waiting on the back deck. Handing the bassinet over, the two stared at each other before Dean tried his hardest to control his tears. He knew he had to be strong for this.

"Thanks Lisa..."

Lisa took the bassinet and nodded.

"Goodbye Dean..."

Dean glanced down into the bassinet one last time before trying to smile.

"Bye John..."

Turning, Dean knew he couldn't allow himself to look back. Walking through the house, he opened the front door with shaking hands and walked out to the car where Sam waited. Getting into the pasanger seat, he sat there for a second while Sam stared over.

"Okay drive..."

"You okay"

Dean turned and looked at Sam, his eyes filled with tears.

"Just drive Sam...please."

Nodding, Sam started the engine and pulled the car out onto the street. Dean sat there, looking out at the house and feeling as if his heart had been torn apart. Turning and looking ahead he sighed and settled into his seat.

"We got work to do..."

Together they continued to drive.


	38. Chapter 38

_**Past is the only dead thing that smells sweet...Edward Thomas **_

Dean sat Indian style in front of Lucy's grave. It was mid afternoon and six weeks since he had left John at Lisa's. Today it was getting warmer, and a lot of the surrounding trees in the woods were starting to thicken up.

The sun shinned down on Dean as he sat there while Sam was inside packing up the last of their things. They decided that they were going to go ahead and keep going forward, using the little information they had and try and track down these monsters and things that had killed Bobby. There were little to no leads, and they were still hiding from so much. The Impala was in storage, and they were driving some old used car Sam had ripped off a few weeks ago. As for Cas, there hadn't been anything. Ever since he had appeared in his old self's form, delivering Lucy's body...he hadn't appeared since. Sam and Dean prayed, shouted, and screamed for him to answer him but so far...total silence.

Dean had secretly given up, in fact his faith was gone. All he knew was that everyone he loved besides his brother had been taken to him. That he had through Hell and back, and beyond beaten down to even care anymore. The only thing that honestly mattered was the truth in knowing his son was now safe and away from this terrible awful life.

Dean fully expected them not to win this time. In fact everything was slowly crumbling around them. Hope was starting to fade, and Dean's will to live just wasn't there anymore.

Digging into his pocket Dean took out his necklace. He had found it in one of his jean pockets about a month ago. He couldn't truly remember when exactly he had gotten it back. He knew Lucy had somehow gotten it and gave it to him, but when seemed to have slipped his mind. Looking at it now he smirked and shook his head. It was useless, just a chunk of metal around a string that Sam had given to him years ago.

At first he had thought about throwing it out, then thought about leaving it here, now holding it in his hand he simply slipped it over his head and looked down at it laying against his chest. Glancing down at the grave, he then nodded and stood up.

"Sorry Lucy doll...should have done this before, guess I wasn't thinking straight..."

Walking over to the shed, Dean took out one of the shovels just as Sam walked down the front porch steps.

"Ready to head out?"

"Yeah...gotta do something first."

Sam glanced down at the shovel before Dean continued to walk towards Lucy's grave. Right away what his brother was doing dawned over Sam's eyes as they widened and he hurried along with him.

"Whoa, Dean...what are you doing?"

Dean stood at Lucy's grave before turning.

"I forgot to burn her Sam...I don't think she would come back but I gotta make sure. It's our way...I can't just leave her body behind..."

"Dean, listen..."

"I'll just be a couple of hours, we can get on the road after that. Go into town if you want or chill inside...sorry I waited until now to do it, but it has to get done."

"Dean...you shouldn't have to do this alone. Let me help you..."

Dean shook his head staring at the grave.

"No, I wanna do it myself...besides it isn't like I haven't gotten my hands dirty before..."

"But Sam, this isn't just anybody or just some corpse...it's Lucy. It's your wife..."

"Which is exactly why I need to do it. I was stupid not to before, let me just do this."

"Dean, I know the last couple of months have been bad for you, mostly with having to leave John but..."

"Just give me two hours Sammy...please?"

Sam and Dean locked eyes and Sam saw the pleading hopeless look in his big brother's eyes. Both stared at each other for a second before Sam felt a sickening wave of emotion spread through him. It was the same horrible dreadful feeling that happened so much in their life's. Feeling his own tears fill his eyes, Sam gulped and looked at his brother and knew this moment wouldn't last long. He felt them slowly distancing themselves, in fact it had been happening for years, but he sensed it more than ever now.

"You miss her don't you?"

Dean slowly nodded.

"Yeah..."

"I've...heard you calling out in your sleep the last couple of weeks...ever since we left the baby at Lisa's. Dean...we can go back and get him..."

Dean shook his head blinking the tears out of his eyes.

"No...I made up my mind. I might miss him like hell...but this is the way it's gotta be. Now please let me do this before I loose my nerve."

"You sure you don't want help?"

Dean shook his head.

"Yeah...two hours okay?"

Sam glanced down at the ground and nodded.

"Okay..."

Patting Dean on the shoulder, he turned and headed back for the house. Hands shoved in his pockets and his head down. Dean watched him until he went inside before turning, and leaned against the shovel. Sighing, he stared down and smirked.

"Okay Lucy Doll..."

Sighing he positioned the shovel and sank it until the earth. Using his boot, he pushed it down and lifted the soil before throwing it back. His mind going blank, he just focused on the sound of the dirt being thrown and the sound of grit going against the metal.

_**Later...**_

The smell hit him first.

Dean stood in the grave which was five or so feet deep. He had been shoveling for the last half an hour and found it easy work since the grave was somewhat new and there weren't many rocks in the way. Turning to the side, and gasping for fresh air, sweat rolled down Dean's face as he cupped one of his dirt caked hands over his mouth. Taking a second, he shut his eyes and listened to the sound of his own heartbeat before his stomach rolled and settled.

Turning, he looked down and a terrible moan escaped his lips.

"Oh Lucy..."

Leaning down, he scooped her corpse in his arms before snapping his eyes shut and steadying himself not to fall. Trying to think back, he remembered the last time he ever saw her alive. It was when he was dropping her off at Dr. Robert's. He remembered her being pregnant, standing on the sidewalk, and telling him that she loved him.

He tried to focus on that memory, that last nice memory. He remembered Dr. Robert telling him that she had died right after John was born. They couldn't stop the bleeding...

He kept trying to remember her before all of this. Slowly, he worked himself out of the grave and carefully laid her down. She was wrapped up, but he still felt her. He remembered so many other times when he used to carry her, now she was cold and no longer his Lucy Doll...

She was a corpse...

Turning away, he took a second before rubbing his hands on his jeans and walking back to the shed.

_**Later...**_

Dean stood in complete silence watching the flames rise above the wrapped up figure that used to be Lucy. He had built it exactly as he did for his father, his brother, Bobby, and now his wife. He had made the cleaning, piled the wood, and set fire. Standing back, he watched it before Sam stood by his side.

"You okay?"

Dean just stared at it.

"No man...I'm pretty far from okay..."

Both stood in silence watching the fire when Dean looked up at the sky, his face crumpling.

"I hope your happy you bastards..."

Without saying another word, Dean turned and walked towards the car. Sam stood for a moment before looking at the fire and sighing. There was nothing else to say. Lucy was dead, and they were alone.

Once the fire died down and smoke began to rise, Sam deeply sighed and prayed to himself that soon there would be a sign. They needed it more than ever. Once Sam got into the car, he glanced over at his brother who simply started the engine and didn't say a word.

_**Meanwhile...**_

John laid in his crib.

He laid there staring up at the mobile Lisa had set up a few weeks ago. Gurgling and kicking his tiny feet in his one piece.

The nightlight was on.

Just then Castiel appeared and looked down at the baby laying in the crib.

He was beautiful.

Looking down into the crib, he sighed and glanced up. He would make sure the child was protected. He was very important. The baby stared up at him with wide hazel eyes before his nightlight flickered, just as it did years ago in Sam's nursery before everything fell apart.

Castiel's eyes looked up before shaking his head.

"No...I won't allow it."

The light settled and was finally still. Outside the wind picked up and began to howl as Castiel continued to watch the baby.

_**Three weeks later...**_

_**Jukebox Hero – Foreigner **_

Dean drove ahead on the empty dark road. Sam sat in the passenger seat, his penlight in his hand while trying to read one of their many road maps. It was a little after two-thirty in the morning, and both had been on the road for what seemed like a lifetime.

"That's it, I'm turning in next motel I see..."

Dean mumbled. Sam glanced up, the last few weeks hadn't exactly been good. Dean wasn't talking much, and seemed to slowly be slipping away with each day. He feared Bobby had been right, his head just wasn't in this anymore and now with Lucy gone, he had nothing to keep him from going off the deep end.

He was seeing a side of his brother he had never seen before...and honestly it scared him.

He just wished Castiel would answer them.

Dean took the next turn, eighty gripping the wheel and simply looking ahead. Sam was worried about him, Every night he was woken up by the sounds of Dean tossing and turning and calling out in his sleep. Most of the time for John.

He knew Dean had made the right choice, only now he was worried that giving him up had been too much too soon. He just prayed whatever laid before them would either be solved or both would be put out of their misery. He knew they didn't have it in them to turn against each-other yet again. He was just so tired...and wanted it to be over.

_**That night...**_

Dean slept soundly after four or five drinks. Sam laid in the bed beside him and both of their alarms were set. Trying to catch up on a few hours, the two slept as crickets outside chirped.

Dean's eyes moved underneath his eyelids as he dreamed, escaping the horrible aching pain that had been haunting him ever since this all began.

In his dream Bobby's house hadn't burned down. In fact he found himself standing in Lucy's bedroom.

_**He was standing by her dresser, picking up her different snow globes and shaking them. Here was his safe place, there was no death, no pain, no misery. He was alone and for once he felt peace. If there was ever a Heaven, thing would be it.**_

"_**Dean?"**_

_**Turning Dean saw Adam standing there. Sighing Dean put down one of the snow globes and turned.**_

"_**What do you want Adam?"**_

"_**Castiel will return, you must have faith."**_

_**Dean made a dry laugh before shaking his head.**_

"_**Castiel can go to Hell, in fact all of you can. Just leave me alone..."**_

"_**You made the right choice Dean...you know that right?"**_

_**Dean walked over to the bed before sitting on the edge of it. Looking up at Adam, he sighed.**_

"_**You're dead Adam and your soul is in the pit. You're not real...none of this is real. Just leave me alone."**_

_**Adam knelt down beside him before gently putting his hand on her shoulder.**_

"_**Listen to me... Castiel is coming soon, and Bobby..."**_

Dean awoke with a start. His alarm was beeping. Half awake, Dean saw that he had set his watch wrong and quickly clicked it off before Sam woke up. It still wasn't fully daylight yet and he wanted a few more hours before getting back on the road.

Laying back, Dean sighed and rubbed his face.

He wondered at that exact moment what his son was doing? Was Lisa up all ready? Maybe she was in the kitchen getting Ben ready for the bus, wearing that old ratty robe of hers. He could see her walking around, trying to pack Ben's lunch and get him to put his cereal bowl in the sink. He could also see her holding John, trying to fix his bottle and get him in his highchair.

He wondered if any of his hair was coming in yet. When he dropped him off he was still bald. He wondered how he was doing? If he was still just as fussy, and had to be held before falling asleep. He wished there could have been a way for him to keep him, but he knew it wasn't possible.

He had made his choice and now that was over...

And as for Lucy...

He would just do what he always did. Push his emotions away. Bury it and do exactly as Bobby showed him. He would push forward and keep fighting until it killed him. That's all he could do.

Less than a month later he would sleep with the first woman since Lucy. A stupid one night stand which would result in a creature called Emma.

Sam knew the drinking, and one night stands were just part of Dean's way of dealing with Bobby and Lucy's death. Of course after he was forced to shoot the teenage girl, he saw a brief flicker in his brother's eyes he didn't like.

Driving back both began to argue. Finally Sam came out with it when Dean remarked that Emma was in fact his. He let him know how he honestly felt, that his head wasn't in this and Bobby had been right. He hated that part of him was glad to see the stunned pain in Dean's eyes after what he did to Amy. He understood that Dean had been through Hell and back, and after losing his mind and being forced to give up his child, this wasn't exactly the kindest thing to do.

But it was the slap of reality Dean needed and Sam only wished there had been some other way. Days turned into weeks, and they kept going.

This added onto Dean's mind slowly starting to crumble and fall apart. The only person who knew how bad it was becoming was Sam. If they didn't get help soon, things were going to get worse...much worse.

_**One month later...**_

Dean was still laughing from their latest hunt at Plucky's. They were on the road with their prized rainbow slinky sat between them as the radio softly played one of Dean's old rock tapes. For the first time in what seemed like forever both seemed to be in good spirits. Somehow tonight reminded them of what it used to be like when they hunted. For once everything was put on the back burner and both fought like they used to and this time won. Dean was starting to act like his old self and for just a few hours they seemed to forget how bad things honestly were.

Sam glanced at Dean debating whenever or not if he should do this. He didn't want to ruin the mood.

"Hey man, pull over for a second."

Dean glanced over raising an eyebrow.

"Huh?"

"Just for a second..."

Dean pulled the car off onto the shoulder of the back road and put it into park before looking over.

"What's the matter you need to take a leak?"

Sam smirked before reaching under the seat.

"I know I wasn't supposed to do this, and honestly I wouldn't do it again without you knowing...but it was right after the whole Emma thing. I was worried."

Sam took out a small envelope and handed it to Dean who stared at it with puzzled eyes.

"Remember how for a few months we had different post boxes in each state, well we still have a couple paid off...I sent Lisa a letter just asking for her to send one...I didn't say anything, just asked for it since you seemed...down in the dumps lately. I got it a little while ago and was trying to find the right time to give it to you."

Dean looked at Sam before slowly turning the envelope over in his hands before opening it. Fishing inside he first got the small piece of paper with Lisa's handwriting.

_Sam,_

_Glad to hear from you. I honestly felt better sending this out, seems better this way. I would love to keep you two posted on John but I understand if you want to stop after this. At least this way Dean can see that John is doing fine and that he's been a complete joy to have. Ben loves him very much. Please take care of yourself s. Love – Lisa._

Taking the photo out, Dean felt his heart sink before he gazed at it.

It was a photo of John.

Ben was holding him on the back steps of their home. John was in a one piece and tiny little cap. He was giggling and looking up at Ben who was smiling.

He looked beautiful.

A sad smile slowly appeared on Dean's face as he stared at the photograph for what seemed like a lifetime. Sam looked at him with unsure eyes.

"Dean, I know you didn't want any contact, but there's no way they can trace the post office...beside I thought having a photo might help..."

Dean looked at his brother and smiled.

"No Sam, this...this is great. Thank-you."

Sam softly smiled before Dan gazed over the photo.

"I can't believe how big he's getting all ready..."

Dean stared at the photo for a very long time before tucking it into the inside of his jacket. Looking at Sam he smiled again.

"Thanks Sammy..."

With that he started the car and began to drive.


	39. Chapter 39

**17 years later.**

John walked through the school parking-lot towards his car. It was a bright and sunny spring afternoon, and almost everyone was gone. John had stayed after, working with a few of his buddies at the school garage working on Mr. Wood's Chevy. After giving it an oil change, they had begun on the breaks before Larry and Jeff had to split for baseball practice. John never had any interest in sports, even though all of the school coaches had been hounding him since freshmen year. John was tall, all ready nearing six feet. He was medium weight, and tanned easily. His hair was a dark dirty blond, and his eyes a hazel green. He had lived here his whole life here with his step-mother Lisa, and older brother Ben. Ben worked at a local garage two towns over and had just gotten engaged. The two had remained close their whole life's and Ben had always looked after him. Lisa had re-married a nice construction worker named Zach when John was eight. The two were happy, and had given John everything he needed, mostly a warm, safe, and welcoming home. John was a typical teenager, happy go lucky, laid back, and honest for the most part. Sure he did a little Hell raising, but overall he was a good kid that never gave his family any grief.

Next year would be his senior year, and that's when he had to start thinking about college. Lisa was pushing for him to do it, but what he really wanted to do was take a few years off and work for Ben. John's whole life was cars. He loved them. In fact, Ben and him had driven all the way to Florida last year and had won an old 1977 Duster, that the two had worked on together, fixing it up for John to drive. He loved cars, and spent most of his time at school in the auto body shop. For hours he could spend underneath a car, listening to classic rock, and just tuning everything out. John was just twelve when Lisa sat him down with Ben and they explained who his birth parents were. Right from the start Lisa had been honest, she told John at a very young age that he was adopted. John didn't really have anything further thoughts about this besides the fact that whoever his parents were they were unnamable to take care of him, and he was lucky enough to have a woman like Lisa to take him in. He still remembered Lisa telling him that his mother's name was Lucy, she was originally from Chicago and had died giving birth to him. His father's name was Dean.

When John asked what his father did, both Ben and her exchanged a quick look before Lisa cleared her throat and said he ran a small family business. It seemed he was unable to take care of him after losing his brother, and Lisa and him were old friends. He wanted to keep him very badly but knew he was unable to do so. In the end he made the hardest choice he ever could, and had Lisa adopt him. Lisa handed him a photo she had held onto for a while, a photograph of his parents. John held the old worn photograph, his mother was young beautiful and laughing, sitting in bluejeans on her father's lap. His dad looked strong, friendly, and staring at her with the same expression he had heard about before. The look of complete and utter love. They looked so regular, so normal. John asked where his dad was and Lisa signed, brushing some of her hair back and simply saying...

"He died a while back, so didn't his brother."

John was stunned to see this news didn't even affect him. Instead he simply sat there staring down at the photo before sighing.

"How?"

"Not sure, just heard a while back. I was going to tell you..."

John shook his head.

"No, it's okay...you know when?"

"Years ago. John I'm so sorry I can't tell you more but I promised..."

John nodded turning the photograph over and over in his hands.

"No, really it's okay. Do you know where they were buried?"

"They were cremated. You need to understand one thing John, your father loved you every much. He was a brave good man, and he gave a lot up. The one thing he wanted was for you to live a normal safe life, so please..."

Ben now spoke up.

"Don't ever hate him for giving you up. I knew him sorta, right before you were born. I sure wish he was my dad."

John nodded before Lisa sat up, staring at him.

"Do you have any questions?"

John shook his head.

"No...not really..."

Lisa reached forward and patted John's shoulder.

"If you ever do, don't be afraid to ask." Nodding, John sighed before holding the photo up.

"Thanks for this mom."

"Of course honey."

Years past, and John simply tuned out the fact that both his birth parents were dead. He never dug any further into it, or questioned it. Instead he went on living his life. All the meanwhile the photograph of Lucy and Dean were framed on his bedroom dresser, sitting there almost like an afterthought. As John strolled over to his car, his T-shirt's sleeves rolled up over his arms. As he dug his keys out from his pocket and unlocked his door and suddenly stopped. A breeze blew by, causing him to stand against his car for a second before looking around. Shrugging, he climbed into his car and began driving away. Unknown to him Castiel stood watching, his eyes direct and serious. Since Dean and Sam had given their life's up, all those years ago.

The war was over, and the brothers were back with Mary and John. Adam as well. It had taken years of battles, but in the end the war had ended, all was as it should be. Lucy had been brought back, to give birth to John, but had to be taken in honor for Dean to continue the battle without anything stopping him.

There were many years ahead of him, years of heartache, pain, and even death. But in the end, he had proven them wrong and side by side with his brother they had won. When he did die, Lucy was waiting. They had asked Cass one favor. To watch their son. For all these years, Castiel had been looking over John knowing that many years in the future, John would be responsible for saving many people's lives. A war on Earth would begin when John would be forty or so, and in that war he would rise up and bring the hopeless with him, just as his father was...a fighter and warrior. But as of right now, he was simply a carefree teenager, with many good years ahead of him. Watching him, Castiel smiled as he watched his car drive out and head towards the road.

Closing his eyes he followed, keeping his promise to Dean and to Lucy. He would be his guardian angel...forever and always.


	40. Chapter 40

**Ten years later. **

**Phoenix Arizona**

John stood outside the man's garage, hands stuffed in his jeans pockets. His head cocked to the side, he waited before the metal door began to roll up on it's track. Letting his eyes adjust to the shadows from within the garage. Some dust floated in the air before the owner, an older man with salt and pepper hair came walking out proudly. He pulled an old rag from his back pocket before wiping his hands. "Here it is, bought and restored it about ten years back. Was left in an old junk yard out East. Took a lot of time to get it back in this condition." John squinted, looking inside before a faint smile appeared on his face. John had grown tall, and had taken after his father. His hair short and sandy, his eyes direct, and his jawline strong. He strolled over, boots clicking against the gravel driveway before stopping. It was a 1967 Chevy Impala. John had graduated and was currently working with Ben with the garage they now owned back home.

They were just in the process of paying the place off, and was finally turning over a profit. Lisa had moved down to Florida with her husband Zach, and the two brothers remained close. John shared an apartment with Ben and was just beginning to see a nice waitress from town. Things were looking up, but for some strange reason John had the feeling somebody was watching him. Dreams had come, of explosions, fire, and a battle in an old graveyard. They didn't make any sense and for the life of him he couldn't seem to put it together. When he brought this up to Ben, he noticed how strange his brother acted. He simply shrugged, said he didn't know what it meant, and changed the subject. Just a week ago things didn't seem that busy at the garage. Last summer Ben had taken off to New York to hang with some buddies, this time around it was John's turn.

Taking the charger, he decided to go for a road trip just himself to clear his head. For the past few days it was just him by himself, listening to his music and watching the country unroll. Just yesterday he had stopped at a highway truck stop. Sitting in the booth with the local newspaper, he ate his breakfast and scanned the classifies before stopping. Setting his coffee aside he looked down and saw the ad for the Impala. For some strange unknown reason, he decided to call the number and look this guy up. It was beautiful. Jet black, polished, and perfect. He walked around it in the dim light of the garage before smiling.

"Know where it came from?"

"No clue, it's been through the bender but it was taken care of..."

The price was high, but John had been saving since they opened the garage. It would be a huge drop in the bucket, but he had a feeling this was the right choice.

"Mind if I take it for a test drive?"

The man smiled digging into his pocket for the keys. A few minuets later John found himself behind the wheel with the man in the passenger seat. The thing drove like a complete dream. Driving down the back desert highways with the windows down, he for the first time in a very long time he felt at ease and completely at home. Sitting there, he watched the road unroll before him and smiled. He would find somebody to drive the charger back home. This on the other hand, he was driving back with. He couldn't wait to show Ben. Smiling, not knowing that years from now a war on Earth would begin again, and just a simple regular man like himself would become a leader, saving so many people from despair. Not knowing that so many years ago his mother was brought back in order to give birth to him, that she was taken just as soon as he was born so his father would be allowed to continue the fight he was meant to do. Sitting there, he smiled not knowing that this was the very car, where it had all began.

_Somewhere, in another world Dean was young again. He sat in Lucy's store in his own private Heaven with his soul mate. He could sense that John was down there, driving the car...and never before had he ever felt so proud. Cas was watching him, and Ben and him were safe. They had been able to live normal life's, the kind he had wished for Sam and him. Sam, Adam, Bobby, and his parents were safe. It was over for him, and now he back with his Lucy doll. Sitting there, feeling his son on Earth drive the car, he smiled faintly sitting at the kitchen table before he felt two smooth warm hands slid against his muscular shoulders. Smiling, he felt her lightly breath against him as she leaned down kissing his ear lobe. Lucy and him were together, and one day, far from now they would finally be able to meet their son._

**_The End. - Thank you for all the kind reviews!_**


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